you were my first
i was your pest
a chittering contrarian
souring your midnight
you claimed the crown of evil
and i yearned for a sequel

Trust was frost. No summer ever pierced the haze
of her opal shawl of single minded devotion
to a scream that echoed back from the ocean,
rolling rampant against stagnant unrealized dreams.
For a woman made a girl by the infantilizing eyes
of those that sought to shelter a beauty from her fervor.

I knew not to how to serve her, for you in your opal shawl felt more amber
than gold or garnet. Yet you were hardened, made tough by a conviction
that I only ever glimpsed but could never press my void-thick obsidian
into a key hole sealed by caution quite reasonable. See the bees of my
weak knees were more sting than pollinating being. It wasn't my honesty
that pushed you from me, but being candid there were stagnant dreams
that hadn't soil to water then grow to shatter glass ceiling and patriarchal
discipline that kept your feelings hidden lest you be named bad.

I think we all build Floyd's wall, though my surrealist prison was more pit
than confining isolation. Yours was all yours and where I touched it was cold.
I never wanted to shatter but my patience couldn't handle climbing
when you sang like Rapunzel with a casual lob. So your every smile
pushed back my want for a while and your scorn burned my yearning
desire for a friend who'd survive the trial of my psyche, collapsing violently.
With all this between us I'd say I did my best; thought your tower ivory
was but a place to rest. Not knowing Hypnos held my spirit.

That shake,
when a child made a deal in the depths of hades,
I knew not what he'd conceal in my heart of hate.
That shake,
from the baku to the shore of darkness,
swore me to seek bliss through ignorance.

Others might've seen what was growing in-between
our hearts.
From a midnight balcony like a Shakespeare scene
our hearts
formed a bridge that surpassed all we'd build to protect
our hearts!

So we wandered in our dreams, finding comfort, hearing things
that every cricket of celestial destiny could sing!
You slept between nights wept for thee!

I accept that these
stirrings might just be
the passing breeze
of a mind digesting we,

but my deal with Hypnos blocked my path!
Our meeting in slumber went askew so fast!
You heard a voice familiar and with courage asked,

"Oh, kind spirit
have you heard it
in the pages of fate
who I might long to date?"
And without shame
that spirit gave my name!