night wake
feeling afraid 'fore the hurt hits
it hits bladed
vorpal rat burrowing my bowels
running up my spine
to lacerate my stomach

water is safe

always good
always a quench to sense
dulled close to death
from a childhood reared on famine
care replacing snacks
hydration is natural
bottles avail today
don't have to endure
metallic calcium tap
swallow

be a parody of serene
trust my body's act
will reduce stress's hack
the gash feels no smaller
this night hurt
threatens to eat hours

calcium chews

devoured with extreme
measure
no calm or clever care
a desperate chomp
mocking my beastial consume
when food tried again
to fill that hole
I miss my friends
I miss trusting them
to be honest

hours struggling to sit upright
hoping digestion
will ease this along
fearing this pain's a mortar
that will wall up my youth
the last of my health ruined
as debt forces concessions
unsustainable
maintained by an undeserved love
willing to sac happiness
to squeeze out years
I will not fight for
I don't fear Death's door

bread

it works sometimes
I suffer enough to bellow "God"
a carry over from hollow hopes
learned by the screen
fostered by lonely's greed
I hate the word as it leaves
stuffing bread in its place
craving relief
wondering if sugar
will do what trauma could not

then again

it's all trauma
my mangled mind bought