The book I held tumbled out of my grip to land on the wood floor with a loud thump. I stumbled to the nearby desk, bracing myself against the sudden weakness in my legs. The room seemed to stretch out to five times its length. 

I blinked, then blinked again, before I could get my voice to work.

"What do you mean? You are going to go through with it?" It came out as a harsh rasp of sound against the buzzing in my ears. 

How could she cave to the Unseelie's demands? I'd been certain she would stand with me to fight those bastards.

With short quick movements, Shannon moved between closet, dresser, and bathroom, stuffing supplies into her backpack. 

"I have to. You know I do. In ten days, neither you, Frigga, nor I have discovered a single, viable strategy to block the Unseelie threat to Aidan. With only five days to Samhain, we need more time. This is the best plan to defuse the situation in the few days we have left. I'm sure Elatha and I can come to some agreement, and he'll help us save our son, Loki. There is no way I'm risking Aidan's life. Why are you fighting me on this?"

An image flashed in my mind of Shannon's fantasy, of Elatha and me taking her together, and a burning sensation grew in my chest. 

Because I'm fucking jealous. Because I'm an asshole and want you all to myself. Because I don't want you anywhere near that too-handsome fucking Atlantean. Because I don't want him having any claim whatsoever on your sexy body.

Because you are mine, damn it.

Muscles rigid, I ground my teeth. Of course, I couldn't say any of those things. It was selfish and illogical. I knew Shannon's plan of action made sense, but everything in me rebelled at the thought of her being married to bloody Prince Elatha.

What if she chooses to stay with him? Is she tired of dealing with me? Have I driven her away?

Desperately, I tried to come up with something, anything, that would change her mind. The idea of losing her again, after just getting her back... And losing her to him. 

My heartbeat thundered in my ears.

"Please, Shannon. Please, don't do this."

If pleading with her would stop her from leaving me, I'd get on my knees and beg. Anything to keep her from going to that fucker who could give her everything I could and the safe future that I couldn't. Unlike me, he probably hadn't made legions of enemies that kept endangering her over and over.

Yggdrasil's twisty limbs, this whole situation is my bloody fault in the first place.

Shannon paused in her packing, turning to meet my gaze with a scowl. "Ugh! Why are you being so stubborn about this? It's not like Elatha is going to force me to live in Hy-Brasil."

My heart gave a panicked beat, and I released my death's grip on the desk edge to walk over to her. "How do you know? Maybe it will be a stipulation of his agreement. You can't be sure he'll work with us to save Aidan."

Shannon rolled her eyes. "Yes, I can. Do you forget he saved our son already? Neither Aidan nor I would be here if it wasn't for Elatha. You know that, Loki."

I flinched, reminded of what I owed that fucker. Still, it didn't necessitate giving up my consort to him, damn it. "I do. Yes, but that doesn't mean he will react the same way now."

Shannon returned to putting travel rations, first aid supplies, and other items she'd gathered into her backpack in sharp, jerky movements. 

"Seriously, Loki. What has gotten into you? It's not like you to fight against something that is so logical. You are smarter than this. You know this is the right move to make. The Unseelie think they can divide us and play Elatha against us. Elatha won't stand for that. I'm sure of it. He hates the Unseelie, possibly more than you do."

Not fucking likely. Shannon didn't know about Sigyn and the death of my unborn daughter at the hands of those disgusting Unseelie. The way they'd... I shoved the memory away. It preyed on my mind far too often, even after getting Shannon back.

I ground my teeth together. Despite how much I wanted to, I couldn't argue with her logic. Shannon knew how I thought, and she was right. Yet, I didn't trust that fucking sexy Atlantean to release her from his silver and midnight grip a second time. 

"You are gambling our future on what you think you understand about Elatha. We've learned very little about the Atlantean culture, other than they are ruled by a Queen-led monarchy."

Shannon waved a hand and heat washed over my spine at the dismissal. "Yes, Elatha told me about that. The Atlanteans have a skewed sex ratio, with five males born to every female. It's why they have a Queen, and the female is the head of the household. Every female takes on multiple male consorts. Instead of fighting over her, they share," she said.

An involuntary snort escaped before I could hide my opinion. Right. They 'share'. Sure. I didn't accept it was nearly as amiable as Shannon was led to believe. Males were too driven to compete, to dominate, to conquest, to share a single female so well.

Shannon had one eyebrow raised. "I can see by your expression that you don't believe me."

"Oh, I believe that's what Elatha told you. But I just don't trust that it's true. Unless the males of their race are all submissive weaklings. It goes against biological imperatives." And I'd seen in her memories that the handsome fucker was no meek pushover.

She rolled her eyes and huffed, a little growl leaving those full lips. Norns, it made me want to kiss her.

"I'm sure it goes against your biological imperatives, Loki, but this is the way their race developed. It doesn't go against theirs."

Seriously? Shannon believed that crap Elatha had told her? "I just don't believe he is going to be as amenable as you are thinking, Shannon. I think you are being naïve."

Shannon zipped up her backpack and turned to face me. A flush had coloured her cheeks and her tone set my back teeth on edge when she muttered, "Naïve! That's rich, Loki. You haven't even met him. You took one look and fled. Fled! You haven't even thanked him for saving my life or Aidan's life."

Right! Throw that in my face?

I kicked at the side of the bed and heard it break as my fists clenched. By the nine, I wanted to destroy something. The chaos inside me churned to be unleashed on that fucking Atlantean devastating my life. I thought she'd forgiven me for that, but I guess I could never escape my mistakes. 

Yet, I wasn't the only one who'd made bad choices.

"How the hell did you expect me to react when I found you naked in another man's arms? Should I have celebrated the fact you cheated on me?" I heard myself snarling before I'd even known the words were going to fly out of my mouth.

Shannon's eyes widened and then narrowed. 

Fuck. I can't believe I just said that.

Wind began swirling around the bedroom, her red-gold hair flying back from her face as lightning flashed over her rigid body. A part of my mind couldn't help but admire the power held within my gorgeous goddess. She was absolutely stunning in her fury, and it had my blood surging in a heated rush.

Grab her. Take her. Show her you can please her better than that fucking Atlantean.

Shannon growled, shoving me back when I stepped towards her. 

"Cheated? Cheated! You arrogant, self-centred, idiotic, fucking prick! I was dying, DUMBASS! If you hadn't knocked me up at the same time as turning me into an immortal, and given me a chance to actually settle into my immortality, your fucking offspring wouldn't have almost killed me."

A white-hot sensation burned through my thoughts as my lungs heaved, breath rasping, and my own growls erupted. 

"Well, if you hadn't run off to have a gods-damned girls' weekend, putting yourself at risk, none of this would have happened!"

Shannon snatched up the backpack, tossing it onto a shoulder.

The sight eroded my control over baser chaos-driven impulses, and it was everything I could do to not grab her, to toss her onto the broken bed to prove I was the more worthy mate. See if she still wants to leave me after I wear her out screaming with orgasms. Raging instinct and higher brain reason fought as my muscles trembled with the need to demonstrate my supremacy.

She is mine!

"Oh, so it's my fault, then? Fuck you, Loki. Mist and I are leaving now. I'm done with this discussion. I'm done with you," Shannon snarled. 

As she left, slamming the door behind her with a gust of wind, the bond between us snapped closed.

It dropped me to my knees.

A scream of animalistic rage and pain tore from my throat while the surrounding room fractured into the broken shards of my soul. 

I'd driven her away. My beautiful soulmate. My goddess. Shannon had cut me off. I couldn't talk to her telepathically. I couldn't sense her feelings or share my own.

And it was my fault.

Bad enough, the cloaking mists of Alfheim would block our connection as soon as she left the treaty plains. No, I was the stupid git who drove her to close our bond for the short time I'd had left with her, instead of using it to give her a reason to come back to me. Norns knew, I didn't deserve her, but why did I have to keep proving it over and over with mistake after mistake?

Heat and moisture welled and overflowed, soaking the shattered bedding I gathered to me. It still held her scent, that delicate combination of fresh rain, lemon, and vanilla. Body-shaking sobs wracked me as I clung to the linen fragments.

Once again, I was alone.

And it was my fault.

Again.