My brows lift and my jaw drops. The shock is impossible to hide. Andy, the most respectful, kind, honest one of our group has been hiding an addiction that none of us knew about. At least, from the way the others have treated him, I don't think they're aware of his problem.

I'm tempted to ask him why he never bothered to mention he's been struggling 'til now, but then I realize I've got a secret of my own. And mine's pretty darn huge.

"Uh, wow," is all I'm able to muster, pushing myself into a seated position and crossing my legs.

Andy sits up too, mirroring my posture as he dips his head to get a better reading on my expression.

"What is it?" I dare to ask. "Booze? Porn?" I clear my throat. "Women?"

Andy rolls his head around on his neck, a groan rattling from his throat. "Listen," he says, scratching the edge of his jaw, "Can we not talk about the details just yet? I mean, just telling you I've got a problem was hard enough."

I stare at him for several seconds before a frown droops across my lips. "Is it that bad?"

His shoulders sag and he shakes his head, either in disappointment of my response or of is own actions, I'm not sure. Makes me wonder if I might have guessed right and I find myself silently pleading with Andy that it's not women. That would explain his lack of interest in the beautiful women at the pool party. He disguises his issue with disinterest so nobody suspects he's got a problem. Oh gosh...

My stomach coils.

"And this is why I had such a hard time bringing it up," he says, running a hand down his face when I refuse to meet his gaze. "That look on your face. I've just dirtied your entire perspective of me, haven't I?

"No," I tell him softly, reaching a hand out and running my fingers against his. "I mean, yes, it's a big surprise. You were always the strong one in the group. You were always so good at standing up for what you thought was right. People were never able to sway you. Even at parties. If you didn't want to drink, there wasn't a person on the planet who could convince you to. You never cheated in college, even when the rest of us were cramming for a pop quiz that the previous class had given us a head's up on. So, yeah," I shrug. "Comparing the guy you are now to the guy you used to be, this news is shocking."

"I know—"

"But." I cut him off, my fingers tightening around his fist. His eyes drop down to watch my thumb as I smooth it across the back of his hand. "I'm not judging you. Out of everyone we know, I'm the least suitable person to be judging anyone."

"Right," he laughs sarcastically.

"You don't think so?"

"Why would I?" he counters. "You're perfect. You finished college, you found a steady job, you've got a supportive family. We just need to get you hitched to someone tall, dark and handsome and you'd have every woman's dream life."

"Yeah," I chuckle. "As long as that man's okay with my extra baggage."

"What extra baggage?"

I smile at him, but I can almost feel the dullness peering through the gesture. "You're not the only one with secrets, Andy."

This catches his attention and his head jerks up, eyes meeting mine.

"Come on." I stand and reach down to help him up but rather than stand, he tugs me back down in front of him.

"No one else knows about this," he tells me. "Well, except for Alec and Braydon. Aside from them, I just haven't felt comfortable bringing up my personal life. I feel comfortable with you though."

His eyes are warm, pulling me in, and for a moment my thoughts flash back to the moment beside the pool. The moment I thought he was going to kiss me. The strangest part about all that was the realization that I wasn't appalled. I have a perfect image of his lips in my head and I'm not sure if it's because my eyes had accidentally lowered to his mouth at that moment or if I just know his face so well, but right now, I can't help but let my gaze swing down for half a second just to make sure they look as tempting as I suddenly remember.

Andy licks his lips and then shakes his head, seemingly unaware of my inner turmoil as he works up the courage to vocalize his own.

"There's a reason I've been back in town more these days."

I shake myself out of my thoughts and zero in on what he's just said.

"What? Why?"

He clears his throat and licks his lips again as he rubs at the back of his neck. I've never seen him this fidgety and it's making me uncomfortable. Since I'm sitting on my knees in front of him, it's easy to shuffle a little closer and slip my hands around his wrists. The movement catches his attention and he sends me a questioning look.

"Just say it," I tell him, laughing as I give his limp arms a little wiggle. "I swear it's not gonna change my opinion of you. I swear to treat you just the way I always have."

"Yeah," he nods once. "I'm kind of afraid of that."

I cock my head to the side quizzically, but he doesn't bother to explain.

"Please don't tell me you're hoping I'll hate you too," I groan, letting go of his hands and rubbing at my face in annoyance.

"What? No." He laughs at me, brows quirked in amusement. "Why would I want that?"

"Ask Mike."

Now Andy's the one cocking his head at me in question.

"Apparently, he's trying to get me to hate him," I explain. "He told me a bunch of war stories just to see if I'd think less of him. Guess I disappointed him when I didn't."

Andy's eyes narrow at me, the intensity behind his charcoal gaze making me itch to jump up and run away from this conversation.

"You still love him?"

The question rattles me and I sit back on my heels to create a little more space between us. Dropping my eyes to my fingers, I watch them fiddle with each other for a few seconds while I try to piece my own feelings together.

"Honestly?" I start to say. "I don't think so. I mean, I might, but he's just so different. I think I love the guy he used to be, but I sort of feel like I don't even know the new Mike at all. And even if I did?... no. I don't think I could ever love him the way I loved the old one."

"Why's that?" Andy asks, sitting up straighter, a playful grin tugging at his lips.

"Well," I shrug. "He's way too serious. Life is too serious as it is. I need someone more light-hearted in my life. Someone ready to live and enjoy life with me. I need someone who lets me breathe. Right now, I'm suffocating."

"Does this suffocation have to do with your secret?"

"Yes, Mr. Therapist, it does." I chuckle when he shoots me an offended quirk of his lips. "You keep asking me questions like you're digging for some deep, dark, life-altering answers from me."

His eyes narrow and he taps his chin a couple times before saying, "and how does that make you feel?"

I slap his shoulder, earning a deep laugh from him that forces a smile on my lips.

"I love how you've managed to dodge the most important part of this conversation," I tell him, using my fingers to walk up his arm before booping him on the nose. "You." I settle into a more comfortable position and cross my arms. "Why are you always in town? What's your addiction? How long's it been going on? When'd you become such a freakin' health nut? Why do you hate goodbyes?"

"Wait, who says I hate goodbyes?"

"Not important," I tell him, waving him off. "Now, stop asking questions and start answering them."

Any smidgen of lightheartedness that once danced between us gets whisked away in the breeze and I sit watching Andy as he nibbles his bottom lip in thought. He catches my eye after a moment and scratches the side of his head before blurting out the truth.

"I lost my job."

I stare at him a moment, brows dipped in concern. "Like, let go?"

"Fired."

"Oh..." I bob my head once, slowly, watching as he lets out a long breath and then drops down onto the ground again, eyes pointed at the sky. "How?"

"The typical kind of way, I suppose," he tells me simply. "I kept showing up too late or calling in. I knew it was coming. I knew I was screwing up even before they rubbed it in my face with a phone call one morning telling me not to bother coming in. I was like, 'oh sweet, a day off,' until they mentioned there was no need to come back at all. They even told me not to bother swinging by to get my stuff. They'd rather mail it to me than see my face again." He laughs, and even though I should sense bitterness woven into the sound, I don't. He actually finds it funny.

"You okay?"

He waves off my concern, tilting his head to catch my eye. His laughter dies off, though the smile remains.

"My addiction got me fired." He tucks both hands behind his head and gazes at the stars. "Guess I'm more of a screw-up then you ever imagined I could be, huh?"

I shrug one shoulder. "Yeah."

He sighs, dropping his head to the side and lifting an eyebrow at me as if to say that wasn't the answer he was looking for.

"But you're not the only screw-up sitting beneath the stars tonight," I tell him, stretching my arms behind me and using them to support my upper body as I glance at the sky. "We've all got secrets."

Andy sits up, positioning himself with one arm looped over a bent knee as he stares at me challengingly. "Prove it."

He grins arrogantly at me, almost like he doesn't believe that my secret could outdo his. That single look is what motivates me to stand up and reach a hand down to Andy.

"Wha—"

"Fine," I say. "I think you could use a little cheering up. We can be failures together. What do you say?"

"Sound wonderful." He slaps his hand into mine

"Okay then," I laugh, pulling him up. "Let's go meet my secret."

———

I pull up outside my house and glance at Andy whose eyes are already focused on the bungalow he's spent a fair share of his college spring and summer breaks in. With unhurried movements, he turns a skeptically lifted brow at me as he opens the door and steps out.

"Didn't realize you'd be bringing me back to your place," he says as I walk around the car and join him on the sidewalk. "It makes sense though... I always knew you were obsessed with me."

I slap his shoulder, earning a chuckle from him as we make our way up to the front porch.

Stepping inside, I flick on the lights and usher Andy through the living room and down the narrow hallway.

"Are your parents home?" he asks, glancing around the quiet rooms.

"Yeah," I nod. "Sleeping, probably."

Stopping in front of my door, I pause, placing a hand on the doorknob as I turn to face Andy. I'm taking this moment to try and talk myself out of doing what I'm about to do, but I already know it's too late. From the look on Andy's face, he either suspects my secret to be horrendous or incredibly embarrassing because he's wearing that typical expression of his—the one that means he's both worried and amused.

"So..." he says slowly, "you're going to reveal your secrets to me in your bedroom... while your parents are sleeping."

I bark out a laugh and then quickly clamp a hand over my mouth to muffle the sound. "You wish."

He simply shrugs as he mutters, "maybe," before placing his hand over mine on the doorknob and forcing it open.

I grab his shoulder as he tries to sidle past me and when he catches my eye I know he's seeing the fear woven into them. He reaches a hand up to cup my jaw and runs a thumb along my cheek as he smiles reassuringly.

"We're going to be okay," he whispers softly, and I realize just how much I ache for that statement to be true.

I take a deep breath and nod, knowing that his words are meant for him too. We both have issues, closeted lives that could destroy the way people view us. Sure, most of the guys know about my daughter now, but none of them have met her. Meeting her, learning who the father is... it could change everything. 

---

Favorite thing about this chapter? How do you think Andy's going to react when he meets Lindsey's 'secret'?

Teaser: A few more puzzle pieces come together. ;)