Trigger warning: suicidal ideation.

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Violet POV: - present day -

For as long as I can remember, his voice from that day echoed into my head.

Until now, my mind had long blocked out the memories of his burning skin, or the sight of his charred, seizing body. The horrific smells of the sewers faded from my nostrils until I'd lost the scent completely. The worst month of my life soon became something that felt like a stranger's story.

While I'd never felt so broken, at least I could find solace in knowing....I'd never have to relive that day again.

But, it was all a lie. Even my own brain tricked me with it's delusions.

Because, feeling it all replay in my head so vividly makes me realize...I never forgot a thing. I simply chose not to remember, because I was so afraid of what would happen when I finally did.

The day Touya died tore me apart. Over the past ten years, I've only managed to barely tape myself back together. Recalling something so incredibly tragic would be enough to blow away all remnants of the shaky foundation my soul rested on.

And it did. Never in my entire life have I ever felt this lost.

History has a cruel way of repeating itself, only somehow....this feels even worse than the first time.

"Run." I breathed out mindlessly, unable to feel the cold wind hitting my numb skin. "R-Run. Run..."

Run.

Physically, I couldn't stop running. God, my body was so exhausted, I wish I could.

My mind had retreated somewhere inside myself, and the worst part was I didn't know where. It was hiding, not wanting to be found and too afraid to fight my demons and take control of me again.

There was no one left to save me anymore.

There was nothing left to save anyways.

I hadn't stopped running since I left Dabi-Touya in the trees. Even that is another disgusting repeat of history, making me wonder if he burned alive a second time after I left. That would sure pull everything together.

God, the thought of it is enough to completely shatter my mind.

I've fucking broken. I've lost it. Every single thought in my mind is worse than the last. What the hell do I even think? What do I feel?

Who the hell am I? Who is he? Because clearly, he's never been the person I truly believed him to be.

Far beyond those trees now, I'd ran past Musutafu. I didn't know what city I was in, and I didn't care.

Visions of my younger self consumed my thoughts as I ran past the dirty puddles of the alleyway, feeling the same shadow of darkness eating me alive all over again.

I always hoped the darkness I felt during that month of my dying isolation would have left me. At the same time I was too afraid to find out. So, instead I just ignored it and became unfamiliar with my own identity. That always seemed easier than facing it.

Facing myself.

But, that was proving to be the worst possible thing I could have done for myself, because I know now that this darkness never left me. It was hiding-festering inside my body for years, building up and getting stronger for this exact moment.

The only way to escape the pain was to run from it. To run as far away as I possibly could.

From the moment Touya told me to run That Day, I never stopped running.

Whenever the moment became uncomfortable. Whenever I felt upset. From my past. My self. My pain. It didn't matter. I just always needed to run...because he said so.

He'd become my guardian angel. My source of comfort in every situation. The only thing to calm me down. My light. My reason.

I wasn't perfect. Hell, I was barely passable. But, at least I had something to live for. Even if it was a dead boy, it was still a purpose.

When trying to heal and move on, people tend to cling to whatever they can to get them through the pain. Consciously or not, they find that one thing in their life-that one thing that they can always think about or hold, and know everything was going to be okay.

Touya became that thing for me. I built the entire foundation of my strength on him.

Because I remembered him as every good thing in this world. I put him on a pedestal and let him take my heart to eternity with him.

I shut myself out to others because of him. I cried and died and suffered because I deserved it-I fucking deserved it for surviving when he didn't.

It kept me up at night, it tormented me in every aspect of my existence.

But, still, I had him. In my heart. In my thoughts. I always had him. His memory itself became a coping mechanism and trauma response all at once. That's a very dangerous and unstable thing to place all of my balance on.

Though, I did it anyways. Because I truly didn't think things could get any worse. God, I was so wrong.

I just wanted to be happy. Do you understand? All I've ever wanted was to be happy.

What are you supposed to do when your only source of comfort becomes your biggest source of pain?

What do you do when that perfect image you created in your head becomes distorted and ruined with the truth? When it's stained with utter betrayal and tarnished with lies?

I don't know. I spent ten years learning how to live again, and now in a span of a single day, I've forgotten how to.

I love him. God, I love him so much, and what hurts the most is that I'll never move on from this. I can't imagine my life with him anymore. I can't see our dream-the dream I spent my entire life living for.

Everything's been lost to the dark.

I've spent so much time wishing he was here with me, and now fate has twisted my dreams into my worst nightmare.

Today is the day I've lost everything that made me who I am.

Learn from me. Never place your entire worth into one, single person. Because if the day comes when they're no longer in your life, you will break. You will become so lost and life will feel meaningless.

Why, Touya? Why did you do it? After every moment we've shared. After everything we went through together. After how much I fucking loved you...

Why?

Actually...

Don't tell me.

If today taught me anything, it's that I'm better off not knowing a thing.

It also taught me that my love won't ever be enough. I can truly say I gave every single bit of myself to Touya. I loved him with all my heart, and it still wasn't enough. It didn't stop him from lying to me. It didn't stop him from becoming a mass murderer without empathy. It didn't save us.

Loving him was useless. There's no point in ever loving again. I have no more inside me for anyone else.

Finally, my psyche has shattered.

My eyes lost the ability to blink properly, frozen in time with the stall of my lungs. Knots began to form in my overworked legs and if it wasn't for the bag of garbage lying in the middle of the desolated street, I wouldn't have stopped at all.

A gasp instinctively came from my throat when my foot caught on the garbage, stumbling forward straight into the dirty alley wall.

My hands took the brunt impact of the hit instead of my face, barely getting the time to extend themselves into the bricks first.

But, it did absolutely nothing to ground me. I felt panicked. Emotional. Alone. Worthless. Broken.

Running wasn't even helping anymore. Running always brought me closer to Touya, and right now, I want to be as far away from him as I possibly can.

Facing him means facing the past. The pain. The sickening trauma and memories. The betrayal. The lies. The fact I've spent ten whole months with him and didn't even know it-the list goes on.

But, honestly, that last part isn't even true. The shock of his reveal wasn't what hurt me today. It was the dread-dread that's sat in the pit of my stomach for the last ten months without a face.

I always knew it was him. Deep down in my soul, I knew. You don't love someone the way I loved him and don't recognize their little mannerisms, their words, their eyes.

Dabi. Touya. It didn't matter. I'd fall in love with every single version of him to exist.

I'm furious with him for not telling me, but also at myself for trying to pretend it wasn't true.

Desperate gasps for air heaved from my lungs as I rested my forehead against the dirty wall, grimacing in physical pain as Touya's voice from past and present blended wildly in my head.

"The last conversation we had on Sekoto Hill...that's why I burned."

"Please!! Someone help me!!! I don't want to die!!"

"Look at me. Look at me, Grape."

"It hurts!!!"

"Selfish. I've always been that guy, I guess. I'm not gonna mince words with you anymore."

"Don't stop running!!"

"There's nowhere left to run-"

"Aghh..." I choked out in frustration, clawing my fingernails into the bricks.

I can feel myself drowning deeper in hysteria. I want someone to help me, but the first and only person I can think of is Touya.

His image was always enough to calm me down, but now it only stirs my panic more, feeling my fists ball and slam against the wall rapidly now.

Closing my eyes proved to give no relief, digging my skull harder into the wall when visions of his burning body consumed my mind.

Even if he's alive, even if I saw him with my own eyes, one can't just undo ten years of grief and trauma. The worst part is that it was all for nothing. Had he just come back years ago, all of this could have been avoided.

It would almost be better if he really did die that day.

But, I couldn't find relief in a single thought. Instantly, a wave of massive guilt consumed me upon even thinking that, only sending me further into hysteria.

I spent so much time wishing Touya would come back to me and now I'm wishing he died again?

He's not my Touya anymore though. No, not really. Was he ever?

Did he even love me? Or was that a lie, too.

Jesus, my brain isn't strong enough to absorb this. One death was hard enough. The death of his memory hurts even more.

Sounds of the past and present blended together, distorted and demonic in my ears. So many lies. So much pain. I've lived far beyond my capacity to handle it all.

If running doesn't help, what will? I need relief. I need something to distract me from the world.

Without even thinking, I lifted my forehead from the wall...before instantly slamming it back into the bricks.

I wanted the sounds and thoughts out of my head. I want them out.

I want to forget Touya Todoroki ever existed.

But, my mind simply continued, causing me to slam my forehead back into the wall again.

"Run...run....run..." I rambled in time with the smacks of my skull, feeling tears running down my vacant face as I wished I could say anything else.

My fingernails slowly oozed with wet warmth now, making me realize they were bleeding from digging so hard into the wall.

The same crimson began to glide down the middle of my forehead after the fifth slam into the wall, disorienting my vision and consciousness exactly the way I wanted it to.

I don't want to live anymore. I'm tired of living. Of suffering.

There's nothing left to live for anyways.

My guardian angel turned out to be the devil all along.

Even if Touya's alive, another part of myself died today. I want to disappear. To become part of the ground and wither away into forgotten eternity.

I thought my world got darker when Touya died, but he never really died at all. He never prevented the darkness. In the eyes of the world, he actually made it worse.

The world's just a horrible place, filled with lies and disgust. I've finally succumbed to it.

Slowly, my eyes opened a few moments later, pupils blown and sanity lost.

The blood from my forehead traveled down my nose now, running off to the side before painting my cheek. I don't know where to go and I don't care. It feels like a Pandora's box to my soul has suddenly been opened. One I never realized was there.

A part of my conscience had blacked out as I lifted my head from the wall. My empathy had shut off without my consent.

I'm nothing more than a human shell, ripe for anyone's taking.

Stumbling backwards in the alley, I watched my feet moving through the shadows in slow, calm steps instead of the frantic running I was so used to.

I could see, but I couldn't feel anymore. It was like I was observing everything happen from outside my body.

With grey skin and dead eyes, I walked out of the shadows without a plan, hearing a few innocent bystanders gasp from the blood running down my forehead.

I stared at nothing and stood at the entrance of the darkness eerily, not even looking when I heard footsteps warily approach the space next to me.

"Excuse me, miss." An older man whispered, giving my shoulder a soft shake in an attempt to get my attention. "Are you alright? You don't look so good. Is there anyone I can call-"

My gaze didn't even move in response, slowly turning on my heel after a few moments to walk down the street in silence.

A soft dripping sound hit the pavement with every step I took, feeling the blood from my forehead dripping at the base of my chin now. Sensing a dangerous aura looming in my vicinity, people scrambled out of the way as I walked.

It always takes something drastic to make people finally see. Whether it's the power of Midas' jewels or a girl with a bloody face and broken mind, no one ever gives a damn until it's too late.

Bystanders continued to whisper and stumble away in fear, except for a cranky man a few feet ahead. He saw me coming down the street, but didn't move, glaring at me harder with each passing second I didn't veer my direction.

To him, it was some sort of power play. To me, I just didn't have the capacity or care to use manners.

So, it was no surprise to me when our shoulders collided roughly, hearing him gasp as if he hadn't planned out the entire scene from the start.

"Hey!" The man shoved me off. "Watch where you're going, brat!"

His shove was hard, sending me backwards into a woman and her child.

The woman shrieked as I instinctively gripped onto her for balance, only catching her purse when she shook me off in a panic.

"Help!!" She screamed, causing a massive scene on the sidewalk. "This woman is trying to rob my daughter and I!!"

Between my appearance and lack of reaction, the comment threw the people around into disarray, with some starting to run in the other direction, while a few big men came directly at me.

Before today, I'd never dream of using my quirk for anything other than saving.

But, where did 'saving' ever get me?

Without a care, I tossed the woman's expensive purse on the dirty floor, standing perfectly still as I let the two big men run closer to me.

Once they were within arms reach, my demons took over as I watched my hands outstretch and shoot two crystal boulders straight at the men.

They were just citizens, trying to do a good deed.

But, now, both of them yelled in fear-fear for me as the boulders slammed into them, sending one through the glass window of the jewelry shop nearby...and the other into a parked car along the road.

Whoever hadn't been afraid before was definitely afraid now as panicked screams broke out in the city, with people looking at me and running for their lives.

"It's a villain!!" Someone screamed and pulled out their phone. "Someone call the heroes!!"

Villain?

Can't they see I'm unwell?

I glared at the faceless citizens blankly, looking around at the people who avoided me like the plague.

All anyone ever cares about is themselves.

My entire life...

...I never once cared about myself, always putting others first. Always giving them everything my heart had to offer.

And where did that get me? What did it get me?

All it led to...was me being taken advantage of...being pushed around...constantly hurt...

And most of all, being betrayed and used by the one I always loved the most.

So a villain, you say? I've never been the villain before.

But, being the hero never got me a damn thing.

I'd lost full control of my body as it formed another block of crystals from my hand, hurling it straight at the citizen who was trying to call the heroes.

A rush of adrenaline surged through my veins when his eyes widened in fear, eagerly awaiting the moment of impact.

During that month I spent alone after Touya died...

My heart had been forever changed.

What I've had to see...it made me want to do bad things. I harbored a lot of anger inside my heart that continued to build and warp into something horrible. My level of empathy for others decreased to nothing.

Even at the time, I didn't want to face it, blaming such psychotic thoughts on the infections I had on my burned hands. I was terrified that I was capable of thinking something so horrible.

But, as I watched the crystals slam straight into the innocent civilian's shoulder, a rush of gratification fueled my darkness, making me realize these thoughts never went away. They were never the cause of any delirious infection either.

They were just me.

I always fantasized about hurting people. Innocent people. Happy people. Successful people. Call it jealousy or selfishness. I don't care. Everyone always had something I didn't, whether it was a family, or their own home. Hell, even someone who could give them advice.

And, I know what some would say. 'You had a lot of other things. Be grateful for what you have.' Hell, I even told these things to myself because I knew it was wrong to think so selfishly.

But, I don't give a damn anymore. I never stopped wanting those specific things and no amount of pretending is gonna change that.

I want someone to feel the pain that I did. Physical or mental, it didn't matter.

Just hurt with me. Hurt with me so I don't feel so alone, because misery loves company.

I watched passively as the crystals slammed into the civilian's shoulder, feeling my lips twitch up slightly at the big splash of blood that sliced from his body.

I'm so used to holding everything in all the time. There's a certain rush that comes with letting loose.

...with finally feeling no responsibilities for my own actions.

The citizens watched in horror as the innocent man collapsed in a bloody heap on the floor, giving no signs of life.

I didn't know if he was dead.

I didn't care.

"If it's a villain you want..." I said to the people lowly, letting my hands glow bright. "...it's a villain you'll fucking get."

For the first time in my life, I watched people fear me.

There were no jewels to hide behind. No 'Dabi' at my side to take all the villainous heat.

My actions were my own. And, even as people screamed and cried from the crystal boulders that rained down on the city, I felt no remorse.

No one dared to challenge me, giving me the freedom to destroy whatever I wanted to. It was beautiful. Each shatter of glass or screaming car alarm made me feel less alone, releasing crystals from my hands at a more plentiful rate to hit anything in sight.

"Endeavor's on the way!" I heard one of the civilians scream to another, finally letting the glow of my hands die down.

Not because I was afraid. But, because I didn't want to be found.

The last time Endeavor found me in an alleyway, he ruined my life. He never saved me. He stripped away whatever identity I had left for his own selfish reasons and twisted it into nothing but failure.

If that's what 'saving' is, then I don't want to be saved again.

The clouds in the sky had rumbled with another incoming rain as I quickly took off from the ruined street, disappearing back into the dirty shadows.

The darkness welcomed me in and dragged me down deeper, continuing to run until the screams of civilians faded from my ears entirely.

Soft drops of rain and the sound of my heavy breaths were the only noises in the empty, dark alley. My spine hurt as it dug into the hard brick walls, only subjected to further pain when I slowly slid down it.

I practically fell to the ground, wanting nothing more than to rot, and I planned to.

Hugging my knees into my chest, I rested my forehead atop them and sat against the wall...

...just like I did back then.

History always repeats itself.

Ages passed when a very familiar sound finally pricked my ears.

It was the sound of footsteps splashing through the growing rain puddles, but still I didn't lift my head. Even when their light shined in the alley...even as they slowly entered the darkness and began walking right towards me, I didn't lift my head.

I was vulnerable. Completely at the mercy of whoever would have approached me. A mere shell of a human ripe for twisting and manipulating into whatever they would have wanted my new identity to be.

Slowly, the footsteps traveled towards me now, stopping inches away from my slumped frame.

Instantly, I expected the hot headed reprimands. The typical Endeavor yelling. The shame filled deprecation that would surely whip me back to the reality of what I'd just done.

And, yet...

"Are you...okay?" That very specific voice said, instantly causing my closed eyes to snap open.

I didn't lift my head just yet, already knowing exactly who was standing before me.

The question was simple, but people underestimate the power of simple words.

It's been over a decade since someone asked me if I was okay.

With a voice so soft, so genuine, so concerned for my well being, it was enough to break me out of my frozen haze.

Careful as not to spook me, he slowly kneeled down in the puddles, removing his jacket before draping it over my shaking shoulders.

"I looked everywhere for you." He murmured gently, tugging the jacket at both sides to ensure it wrapped around me. "I've been so worried."

He looked for me. Simply because...he was worried about me.

Feeling my lip quivering, I slowly lifted my bleeding forehead from my knees, coming face to face with my savior.

Midas smiled at me with an amazing amount of warmth, not even caring about the rain that slowly began to wet his hair.

But, his smile faltered when he saw the blood dripping from my face, gasping softly before rummaging around in the pocket of his dress pants.

He didn't roll his eyes or scoff in annoyance like Endeavor would have, quickly pressing the cloth handkerchief to my cut.

"Oh, my darling." He coaxed empathetically of the cut, with the mere sound of kindness enough to make my throat tighten. "It hurts me to see you suffering like this. You don't deserve it."

My cracked lips slowly began to quiver from his nurturing voice, feeling so incredibly grateful it was him who found me instead of Endeavor.

Endeavor would never be this kind.

Soft tears escaped past my vacant eyes, but never reached my cheeks as Midas' thumb swiped them away, looking at me with so much care.

The sound of police sirens and Endeavor's voice sounded in the far distance, causing Midas to finally rise to his feet.

His bright eyes contrasted coldly against the darkness as I looked up at him, watching his gloved hand extend down to me.

"Violet, my dear. Come home."

A desperate shine glimmered in my lost eyes, glancing from his face to his hand.

"Not for me. Not to become someone else. Not for anyone else's wishes but your own..." He continued softly, flashing me another one of his kind smiles.

"Come home, because you can. Because you have a place to call home, and someone who cares deeply about your well being."

He was a horrible man, and he's done horrible things. But, in this moment, he was kind. He had empathy and mercy for my pain.

That was all I ever needed someone to do. See me.

Anyone.

He did it.

Today, the first step doesn't seem so hard.

With tears gliding down my face, I reached my hand up to Midas' desperately, feeling him lock my grip in place with his own.

And now this finally brings my story to present time.

Everything thus far has always been a retelling. It always led me to this exact moment in time.

The end of the story is meant to demonstrate one's true and final identity. But, sometimes one can learn before they reach the end.

Now you understand, this was never the story of how I became the hero...

It was always how Violet Sasaki became the villain.

Touya POV:

Villains are never born. They're made.

No one ever asks the scary fuck with one eye why he's trying to destroy the handsome hero. They just take one look at his face and mistake ugly with evil.

When did we ever start to assume the hero was the good guy? Because he says so? Because he saves one group of people while trying to destroy another?

Whatever. Plenty of people save. Saving doesn't equal good if your intentions are in the gutter.

I can hear my own heavy breaths as I stumble through the dark alleys of Musutafu, barely able to see a few feet in front of me as the steam from my body clouds the way.

Violet ran off hours ago, and I wanted to go after her. But, trauma was stronger than both of us. History repeated itself and it took us in two opposite directions again.

We relived the same day, but from completely different perspectives.

I don't know where she is and I'm fucking worried about her. But, my insides are burning again. I can feel it. Even if my face is blank, my body's inherently afraid-terrified to die for a second time.

It was easier when I was 'Dabi.' Death was expected. Pain was null. Fear didn't exist.

This is why I never wanted to go back. This is why I wanted to forget Touya Todoroki.

Because I've found my weaknesses once again-never worked through and never controlled, they're simply overtaking me like they used to and it hurts.

The only difference is that I can't cry from the pain this time.

The muscles of my thighs began to sting with each step forward, forcing my back to find stability against the dirty wall.

"Fuck." I breathed out, throwing my sweaty face to the darkening sky with closed eyes.

Violet. Where the fuck are you? I wasn't there when you ran away the first time, and I hate to say I'm not there now. I don't know what the hell you'll get yourself into.

But, I know someone who does. Someone who was there when it happened last time.

It's time to find that bastard...

I tried to take another step forward towards the hotel, but my legs burned hotter. That's the part that really got me last time. My thigh muscles burned away, so I couldn't make it to the river.

It's happening all over again. Everything I was terrified of.

Just like last time, I'm alone.

Do you know what it's like? To feel your heart sizzling in your sternum? To hear the fry of your brain as it bleeds for escape through your eyes?

How about seeing the love of your life disappear in the final moments of your existence? Being sixteen years old and dying, painful and alone?

It was easier to say none of it mattered when I was Dabi. I never gave myself the opportunity to look back on it, therefore it couldn't ever hurt me.

Being forced to finally face the past ain't easy. The only way out of it is through, and that's the worst part of all.

"It hurts." My cracked lips murmured, feeling the sizzling tears of blood sneak past the corner of my mouth.

I don't want to be Touya again. All Touya brings me is pain.

If only I'd died on Sekoto Hill that day. Truly died.

Like I said, saving isn't always a good thing. It can be just as selfish as anything else, and it was in my case.

I never should have survived after I burned. But, misery loves company so it couldn't let me go.

I remember all of it. Everything that happened to me. Everything that led me to Dabi. There's no use hiding from it anymore.

After....the day I burned...

It was weird to wake up again when my eyes hadn't opened for so long. The worst part about it, was I didn't remember right away what had happened the last time I was awake. For thirty seconds, I'd forgotten the trauma. The pain of it all.

I was in a bed and I thought it was my own. Feeling so groggy, I assumed it was probably Sunday morning, and that I'd stayed up late the night before gaming. That was something I used to do. If I couldn't be a hero in real life, might as well pretend that way, right?

My first thoughts were of Violet. Did I remember to say good night to her the night before? What did we have for dinner? Hopefully nothing with sweet potato because she's never been a fan of it.

My next thoughts were of seeing her, thinking the way I did every morning how 'convenient' it was to have her in the house. She'd grown on me in three-and-a-half years. I relied on her for entertainment and companionship, but that was it-I always told myself.

I remember imagining myself walking to her room as I gave my, incredibly rigid, fingers a wiggle to wake up my body more. She always had the most adorable bed head. I enjoyed waking her up to see her swollen face and hear her morning voice.

Out of instinct, I tried to stretch my arms over my head, gasping in mind blowing pain at the sting that ran throughout my entire body.

It was a pain in my muscles that felt like I hadn't moved in years.

Blinking the sleep out of my eyes, fuzzy shapes and colors blurred into my vision. The bed began to feel harder and less comforting than it had a few moments ago, and the smell in the air was sharp and unforgiving in my nostrils.

I didn't see my gaming system in the corner of the room when I could finally look at my surroundings. Instead, I saw an empty hospital bed in its place. The top of it was clean and neat, giving the illusion everything was okay. But, the metal sides of it were splattered with dried blood the innocent blankets forgot to cover.

That specific detail was something I couldn't ever forget. I don't know why. Everytime I think of it, I get the shivers.

My cracked lips had fallen open in confusion when I glided my attention across the room slowly, seeing a children's table in place of where my dresser would have been.

Weird children's drawings littered the walls, unable to fully cover old claw marks from fingernails and holes in the shapes of faces.

Even through the pain of my body, I slowly sat up in the bed when I caught sight of the padlocked door, finally realizing...

I wasn't at home.

My memories of anything couldn't be recalled. There hadn't been anyone else there, and I didn't know what was happening-or, why I was even in that weird place.

Did I get sick last night? Did dad take me here? In my unknowing mind, I was still sixteen and that's a little old for a pediatric hospital like this...

Where was dad?

Where was Violet?

Where was...anyone?

Wanting to find out, I lethargically looked down at my hands to pull the blankets off me, feeling the alarm bells in my head instantly shriek with panic.

Needles. Tubes. My arms were covered with them like ants on a hill, taking out blood without permission and pumping an amber colored liquid into me.

I remember how much it hurt to scream from the fear of it all. At the moment, I didn't realize how unused my throat had been.

But, that wasn't all.

The skin of my arms was...discolored-unrecognizable as my own.

Actually, it didn't even feel like my own skin. It was stapled on like some kid's last minute science project.

What....the hell...happened to me? I was terrified.

I'd tried to cry, before my tear ducts stung for a reason I didn't understand, quickly throwing the blankets off to see the same discolored, stapled skin on my legs.

I was also in a hospital gown.

My scream from earlier alerted someone, as the door swung open violently a few moments later. It made me jump and whimper, instinctively hopping out of the bed to try and run for my life.

But, my legs had been just as unused as everything else apparently, feeling my chin slam into the cold tiles within the next second.

A few soft snickers that sounded like children came from above me, flinching when a stranger's hand rested too comfortably on my shoulder.

"D-Don't touch me!" I croaked out, attempting to bat the hand away before my wrist was caught in a crushing grip.

"It's not nice to hit." The person reprimanded me with eery, mechanical sweetness.

The facade didn't reach their actions as they yanked me up by my arm roughly, causing every bone in my body to creak before I was slammed back into the bed.

It was at that moment, I realized I was in danger at this place-this asylum. Anxiety shot through me as I tried to sit back up in the bed, feeling another person's hand press down on my sternum.

They pinned me into the bed too hard, and I still remember just how suffocating it was. I couldn't breathe and no one cared.

I remember screaming for them to stop as they restrained me to the bed, seeing robotic smiles of faceless hospital workers and some guy with a weird children's flower mask covering his true face readying a needle.

"Where am I!?" I shrieked hysterically, trying to fight against the countless hands restraining my limbs. "I want to go home!! Please, I want to-"

"You are home." The guy with the flower mask smiled with artificial brightness, jabbing the needle into my neck violently. "All For One saved you from that hill. Wasn't that nice of him?"

"W-Who?" I grit through the pain, instantly feeling a tranquilizing numbness run through my blood.

A slurred groan of fear sounded in my throat as I weakly tried to sit up one more time, hearing the flower man speak before everything went black.

"Shh. Now you can finally have a purpose."

When I woke again, I wasn't alone. I remember there was some kid at the foot of my bed, drawing some crappy art on a piece of paper.

I was still emotional at that time, still innocent and trying as I jumped back in my bed with a squeaky gasp, causing the little girl to look up at me with a giggle.

"You get scared a lot." She gave a toothless grin. "If you keep doing that, they're gonna make you sleep again, silly."

"They?" I questioned with a shaky voice, looking around the room for the man with the flower mask.

But, it was just a bunch of kids this time.

"The ones who saved you, of course. We've been waiting two years for you to wake up." The kid clarified, continuing to scribble on her page cluelessly.

My soul fled my body upon hearing her words, using dread and denial to instantly block them out.

She couldn't be more than eight or nine years old. Kids exaggerate things all the time.

There's no way I've been here-in this place....for two years. Someone...would have come to get me. I'm sure of it...

"Don't you know it's wrong to lie about things?" I reprimanded her in annoyance, quickly changing the subject to something else. "What is this place anyways?"

"It's our home! We wait here and play until he decides we're ready. Isn't that great!?"

He? Ready?

"Ready for what?" I asked more impatiently, kicking the blankets off my body.

My limbs were still discolored and stapled. It wasn't just a bad dream.

"No one really knows." The kid shrugged, continuing to color in the sun on her paper. "But, I think it's something cool. Whenever kids are 'ready,' they leave this place and never come back."

The alarm bells in my head screamed loudly again at her words. She wasn't old enough to understand how eerie they were. But, I was.

Fuck. I'm in trouble...

She said All For One brought me here, right? I know from dad's work, that guy's a really dangerous villain.

What does he want with me?

Clearly nothing good.

With a nervous swallow, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, standing up slowly this time so I wouldn't fall over again. "I'm leaving."

"What!?" The kid gawked, hopping off the bed with me. "You can't leave! Daisy said yesterday that since you're awake now, it's time for you to go!"

My atrophied muscles screamed with every step towards the door, but still I kept going. I refuse to die here.

"Who??" I snapped, throwing open the door and coming face to face with the flower mask man.

Out of instinct, I jumped back with fear, unable to forget that creepy, drawn-on smile for the rest of eternity.

"Me, silly." The flower man-now known as Daisy grinned, walking into the room and forcing me to retreat back inside as well.

I felt like a cornered animal as he towered over me, gritting my teeth and activating my flames.

Apparently, it'd been a long time since I used them, because it hurt a lot, already splitting the discolored skin on my wrist in two.

"Stand back." I snarled at Daisy, yet the stamped smile on his face didn't even falter. "I'm leaving."

The kids in the playroom ceased their activities and gasped, faces painting with horror as defiance around here didn't seem too common.

"Oh? I'm not sure where you plan to go." Daisy beamed artificially. "Your body's undergone some drastic changes, and it took us a long time to piece you back together to the miserable state you're in now. Are you even aware of the burn scars that take up the majority of your face?"

...the what?

A peep of panic slipped from my mouth before I quickly slapped my hand over it, only now feeling the rough, unfamiliar touch of my cheeks on my fingertips.

Oh my god. It can't be true...

I haven't caught sight of myself since I woke up. I only realize now, I don't actually know what I look like anymore.

It's like I'm a stranger. To myself.

"M-My dad's looking for me." I stuttered out as my muscles shook violently. "Violet-I mean...my...friend....I'm sure she's worried sick about me. I need to see her-"

"You've been asleep for two years. She doesn't care about you anymore."

So, the little girl wasn't lying. It really has been that long?

I felt physically sick to my stomach as memories of the past came back to me now. Burning alive. Dying. Violet trying to drag me to the river.

How could two years have passed since that day when I remember it like yesterday? I never got the chance to move on. I'm only just having to live through it all over again.

I've missed out on two years of my life with Violet.

That would mean...

She's two years older.

And I am as well.

"We put so much work into making you better, but you were still a failure." Daisy clicked his tongue, punching me in the gut with the word.

I can't ever seem to escape that word anywhere I go.

"But, if you join us, we can restore your firepower even stronger than what it used to be. It just requires a little...experimenting." He alluded, sending another shiver of alarm down my spine.

Yeah, right. 'Experimenting.' Who knows what the hell that means around here...

No. If it comes from fuckers like these, I don't give a damn about whatever it is they offer. There's always been one man I planned to learn from. No one else. But, I don't even care about that anymore.

I just wanted to go home and fix my mistakes.

I wanted to see Violet. Actually, I want to see everyone.

I missed home. Surely, things have changed.

Surely....I didn't burn for nothing. Right?

Those were my thoughts at the time. How naive and stupid they were when you look at everything that happened afterwards.

In a way, that asylum was the first act of arson I ever committed that day. Or, the first intentional one, anyways. I burned down the facility that kept me locked up for two years. Kids screamed and retreated from the area, unknowingly getting the escape that probably saved their lives.

I don't know whatever happened to that fucker Daisy, but I managed to escape and that's all I cared about.

It's ironic-that my want to do better....my desire to see my family...my love for Violet....

All of it ended up saving my life in that moment.

Now that I've been on this Dabi side of the coin, I know exactly what would have happened to me had I stayed in that fucked up place. I would have become All For One's little Nomu puppet.

But, perhaps, losing the ability to exist and think for myself would have been better than what actually happened. It would have hurt less, that's for damn sure.

In the rags of a hospital gown, atrophied muscles, and no shoes, I ran the entire way home that day. I cried the entire way as well, and the lack of tears and new addition of blood in my eyes only added to the panicked sobs.

I was having an identity crisis and mental breakdown all at once. Even if I was in my own body, it didn't feel like my own, but one of a stranger's. I didn't know who I was anymore. I didn't know what I wanted, or if anyone wanted me.

But, I knew one thing, and my breaking mind held onto the thought like a vice. Repeating it the entire way home was the only thing that kept me from drowning and losing my mind.

Dad. Natsuo. Fuyumi. Violet. Shouto...

I'm sorry.

I did horrible things, and I'm positive your lives have been affected without me there. So, I'll change, too. That way, we can all finally live happily.

For the first time, we can be a family.

It was the only thing left. They were all I had left. I wasn't a good son or brother, or even a good...fiancé.

But, I loved my family. After two years of being locked away, I was utterly broken, confused, and scared. Everything I'd lost of my identity, I wanted my family to help me get it back.

Relief and a feeling of homesickness overtook me when I reached my home, standing at the familiar gate of the front yard in exhaustion.

It looked exactly how I remembered it. The big tree in the corner is more plentiful than ever. The grass is freshly cut as usual.

And Violet's garden is bigger than I've ever seen it. It's absolutely beautiful.

That meant she was still here. I needed to see her first.

Opening the gate slowly, I tiptoed to the side of the house, making a direct beeline for her window. My heart pounded as I did so, unsure of what to expect, or even say.

It's been two years since I've seen her. Even if it only feels like yesterday for me-because it was, I suddenly feel nervous.

The last conversation we had was a heavy one, to say the least. Not only did we say....some very personal things for the first time, but she also watched me burn.

She's thought I've been dead all this time. I'm afraid of what her reaction to my return will be. What if she doesn't want me anymore? What if she looks at the new state of my body and finds it disgusting?

"Failure."

Failure. Failure...

Ordinary. The concept of it all is still hard for me, and it hurts to think about my failures. But, like I said...I'm willing to change.

Because I know they've all changed, too. For the better.

Inhaling deeply, I slowly shifted my head to her window, peeking inside to see if she was there.

And she was. Oh my god. There she was...

Instantly, my breath left my throat at the mere sight of her, covering my mouth with my hand as I looked at her in awe.

Just from her appearance, I know people aren't lying when they said it's been two years.

She was lazing around her room, chatting with a phone between her ear and shoulder. Her hair was still purple, but a little darker in color. It wasn't frizzy and adorable messy like I remembered, but now smoothed and combed nicely. She was taller and her frame had...matured.

The truth is, she was absolutely gorgeous.

My mouth fell open as I softly pressed my beaten hand to the corner of her window, feeling a fresh wave of bloody tears glide down my cheeks.

I wanted to really see her. To hug her. To-

My thoughts seized when her door suddenly swung open, creeping out of the window frame slightly as a person walked inside.

I almost didn't recognize Natsuo. He looked twice as tall as I remembered him. He definitely surpassed me in height. He was...muscular, too. How is that even possible? He should only be thirteen or fourteen.

Most importantly though...

Why did he enter her room? And so casually as if he'd done it a million times by now?

With furrowed brows of confusion, I watched as Violet hung up the phone and turned her back to me...facing a grinning Natsuo.

He held up a necklace for her. My blood froze when she threw her arms around him with a hug.

What? I don't remember them being that close. If anything, I always thought she found him annoying...

That's a hug she'd always give me. Not him.

She turned back to face the window now, causing me to cower further away from it and barely catch a glimpse at what happened next.

Natsuo gently lifted her hair and put the necklace around her neck. It was a silver heart pendant.

I don't...understand. That seems rather romantic. Natsuo's too young to date, but for Violet to even accept it? She always used to refuse his gifts when I was around-

The loud crash in the house caused all of us to jump. A terrified sob accompanied the impact, and I could track the sound to my room.

What...was that?

Waiting for Natsuo and Violet to run out of the room to check what was going on, I quickly ran past her window and approached the one of my room, barely peeking my head inside.

The first thing I caught sight of made me physically sick.

It was my own picture staring back at me. It had candles all around it that were not lit, and items I rarely enjoyed.

It was a vigil. The top of it was full of dust.

Looking into my own eyes caught me off guard. I stumbled back a few feet in shock, finally catching my own reflection in the window for the first time.

My blood froze as I caught sight of my face, watching my jaw drop at the stranger looking back at me.

Daisy wasn't lying when he said burns littered my body. Oh my god, I was unrecognized to myself, covered in skin that didn't belong to me.

A soft whimper escaped me as I slowly touched my hand to my face, feeling the usual smoothness replaced with harsh texture.

What would they think...if the saw me like this....

The loud bang in the room caused me to flinch, forcing my attention back inside the room.

On the ground next to the vigil...was my brother Shouto.

He was older than I last remember obviously, nurturing a bloody nose, crying and desperately trying to scramble away from whatever monster had been chasing him.

Monster.

No.

Don't tell me...

My face paled as I waited for the monster to make their face known to my position. The booming sound of their footsteps let me know it would be any second.

Please.

Please don't be him.

So long as it's not him...

I can still go back.

Time stopped when my dad's face came into view, his big, fiery frame now blocking the vigil from my sight.

My heart broke for the last time and so did my sanity.

I was frozen. Unable to react as I watched the same scene play out. The same one I've seen for years.

It was dad with his masterpiece. The only child he really considers his own.

The blood in my dull eyes suddenly ran dry as the others came in to calm down the situation without success, hearing the earth shattering slap of abuse ring throughout the whole neighborhood.

Shouto has always been the most important thing to him, but I really kid myself in thinking just how important. Not even the death of his firstborn could be enough to shake him-or even shed a few tears, it seems.

He never changed. Nothing in this damn house ever changed.

I gave the ultimate sacrifice of my life, and it still wasn't enough. It was all for nothing.

Failure. I failed at living and I failed at dying.

Dad never showed up to Sekoto Hill and he clearly never planned to. If anything, he's probably happy I'm out of his life now.

No one was affected by it. Not even Violet.

They really did just...forget about me.

I felt my tired brain physically snap in two as the blood drained from my face. A mixture of mourning and anger sweltered in my system, taking the spot of that identity I came back to find.

How the hell could they all just forget? How could they just carry on exactly how things used to be?

I didn't even react as my flames sparked up without my consent, not registering the new waves of blue that picked and melted the remaining parts of my skin.

To the sound of dad's yells and Shouto's cries, I gave one more look at Violet, unable to glance for very long as the traitorous heart pendant around her neck glowed brightly.

I'm so fucking tired of being forgotten.

I will make everyone remember me. The boy they killed.

I'll get stronger and return. If not by strength, I will stay alive for vengeance and finally make him see me...

.........

Well, the rest is history and there's no use remembering it anymore.

Later that night, when I knew everyone was asleep, I climbed through my old window for the last time and stood in front of my own vigil, mourning my new death.

But, even so, something continued to eat away at me the entire time I was there. That should have been my first clue I'd never be able to fully let Touya go.

The letter. The last letter Violet ever wrote me. It was the only thing of Touya's I ever took with me from that house.

I'd blacked out when I reached for it and carefully folded it into my pocket. I didn't want to think about why I'd done it, why I needed it. Already, I wanted to forget her and I even convinced myself I'd throw it away at some point. When I was finally ready to let her go.

Instead, I looked at it every night before bed. I held it as I slept and shielded it from fire, rain, and murder. The letter served to take the place of my heart that had long burned away. It was my lifeline and the only thing keeping the blood in my body still pumping.

I didn't see the big deal about making the decision to just keep it. I never expected to see her again.

And then, when I did, it only made my attachment to that letter unbreakable, hiding it inside my support pouch and hoping she'd just never get close enough to find it.

We know how that turned out.

A soft sigh of smoke escaped my lips as I remained leaning against the wall of the alley, staring up at the fleeting sun and continuing to die all over again.

Man. Looking back on it now...

If I'd known where it all would lead me...

Was it worth it to leave that day, Touya?

Guess it doesn't matter much now. Regardless of how I feel...it happened, didn't it?

"Damn." I uttered through the smoke filling my lungs, looking down at the alley floor in defeat...

...and, for one of the rare times....regret.

I'm not a good person, and I'm not trying to be. But, there was a time I had dreams once, too.

Everyone's story starts somewhere.

*

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