Dabi POV:

Text Message From: Grape-Clown
Hey, where are you?
9:24 am.

I'm leaving for Midas' place now. He asked for both of us, so I hope you're not planning to leave me alone?
11:52am.

Okay, well since you never showed up...looks like we'll be separated today. Midas is taking me to train in the woods. I won't have cellphone reception.
2:45pm.

Ughhh. Okay, I know i look like a clingy psycho for sending like a million messages in a row...but.....I just gotta know. Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?
2:47pm.

I stared at the messages through half lidded eyes, letting puffs of smoke escape my mouth and cloud the image of the phone screen so I wouldn't have to see it.

Heh. Look at me? What, I'm suddenly hiding from my problems now? That's a new one. Might as well call me Enji Todoroki now, right?-But then again, he always ignored his problems, rather than hide them. Nahhh, he never even gave them a chance to hide because-poof!-they just weren't there at all!

In case you can't tell, I'm even more pissed off than usual today, so get ready for a fucking earful of ranting and complaining. Don't like it? Well, I don't care. Cry about it and fuck off.

As I've already said in the past-and don't quote me on it cause I was probably drunk, high, dead-or all three, being alone with my own thoughts is a dangerousss little thing. It's pretty dark up in this fucked, ol' head of mine.

Guess what though? And, maybe you haven't noticed, cause all these stupid inner monologues sound angry as fuck-but, would you believe it if I told you...my head hasn't been as dark as usual during these nine months?

Can you guess why? If you can't, you're even dumber than I thought-and that's saying something...

It's cause a certain grape turned on a lightswitch in my pitch black head. She illuminated everything that never needed to be seen again. Memories. Feelings. Purpose, and all that other bullshit that comes with it.

Don't get me wrong. It didn't happen all at once. Obviously, as you saw-or, rather-eavesdropped, as I don't remember giving you permission to stick around inside my head...

It was gradual. So subtle, I didn't even notice. But, it happened. It fucking happened. And the only reason I even realize it, is because this is the first time I'm alone again.

It's only day one of trying to cut Violet out of my life, but even so, I feel it. That feeling I used to get all the time when I was always alone. It's a sense of danger...for no one, other than myself.

It's anticipation for nothing. A mindless need for destruction. It's like there's a time bomb in my head, ticking away with unknown seconds...leaving me to wonder when I'll snap again and combust into flames for a final time.

Could be soon! Feel free to stick around and find out!

I didn't realize how easy it had been to make that 'time bomb' feeling so unfamiliar. Fuck, I hate this. I feel like I'm sixteen again, fresh on the run with no skin on my body...still somehow trying to fight this exact sensation of evil in my inexperienced veins.

Unease settles in the pit of your stomach. Pain laces your veins-both types of pain. The kind you feel in your body, and also the kind you feel in the ugly hole in your chest, called a 'heart.' Your mind feels like it's racing and empty all at once, giving you a damn irritating headache.

Or, maybe that's just cause I'm always dehydrated. I dunno.

Regardless, it's easier not to fight it. I know that. Hell, I should be an expert now at dealing with these demons, trying to break free in my head. It should be sooo easy to let myself fall back into that pit of despair and go right back to who I'd been for the last ten years.

But, the stupid truth is...

I've been away from 'Dabi' for too long. Not only that, but he was too damn easy to let go of. Ten years of work, down the drain in ten months? Pathetic! It's like my weak mind was starving for a way out, even if I'd convinced myself I didn't want it.

And, I don't. I don't want it. I don't want a way out of this life. I wanna self destruct. Don't get it twisted, I wanna fucking die. That hasn't changed.

I'm just lost-nah, fuck that. But, even if I was lost, there's no way I'd ask for directions...

I'm..huh...what's the word for it? I dunno-confused? Nah, not that either. I ain't confused. I know exactly what I wanna achieve. I'm...I'm just....

Rusty! Yeah! That's the damn word. I'm just rusty. I forgot how to be the big, bad villain for a moment, no big deal.

After all, it's not my fault. If you understood how good of a fuck that woman was, you'd understand. Heh, that pussy's enough to make anyone lost!

Too crass for you? Good. Leave.

Or, stay, I guess. Though, I don't know why you would anymore. The story's over. This is where it ends. You were probably expecting more, huh? Right? You were expecting me to choose sickly sweet love, over the plan I've been brewing up for the last ten years, and live happily ever after? I bet you were even expecting me to call up dear old dad and cry about how 'I love you!!!' Or whatever those damn fanarts portray, nowadays. Huh? Right?

Awwww! That's so sweet. I'm gonna enjoy crushing your dreams into tiny, little bite sized pieces with these next words!!!

I said it once, and I'll say it again-this ain't that kinda story. Real life doesn't give you stupid fairy tale endings. It gives you shit, piss, and more shit to sink in, until the sewer rats eat you up and shit you out again. How's that for fucking romance?

Character development? Nope. Opening up? Not a chance. Changing for the sole aspect of love? Get that shit outta my face before I barf!

Hah! Yeah! That's it! It's disgusting! It's all starting to come back to me now, see!!? I'm fine!!!

Well, I'm not fine!!! But, that's what makes me fine! That's what makes me Dabi! I knew that sick bastard would come back to me somehow. Just like learning to ride a back-ya never forget.

Except, I did, cause little bitch Touya sucked at everything. Not the point.

The point is, it's over. This is where it ends, there's no big climax or revelation of truth. It stops now-with me ghosting Violet, and getting her to hate me. Then, once that's complete, it really ends with me blowing myself up while giving dear old dad a hug. I hope he brought his dancing shoes, cause hell's about to be lit as fuck!

Now, I know what you're probably thinking. 'Man, this guy sounds like an absolute fucking dick! He's probably lost his mind!' Good! You're finally right about something in that stupid head of yours!

Maybe, now you'll leave me alone with my own thoughts. Maybe now, you'll let me sit on this rooftop in peace and enjoy the last of my cigarette in silence...

....eh, actually. Before you go...wanna know a secret?

I hate heights. Can't stand 'em. Always made that pathetically sensitive stomach of mine lurch with cowardly nerves.

That's something I still haven't gotten rid of, I guess.

Begs the question though, right? Why sit on top of a fucking skyscraper-legs dangling off the edge, with a drop that would have my ass shoot out of my damn stomach?

I dunno. Your guess is as good as mine. Never been much of a thrill seeker. But, damn do I love to torture myself, so maybe that's it.

Or, maybe, I'm hoping I'll accidentally take one wrong step and let fate finally put me out of my misery that way. Guess we'll never know.

But, there's one thing I do know. Under all my bitching and pointless rambling, there's one thing I've always known. One thing I can't deny, no matter how much I try.

I know that I love her. And I know it's something that tortures me every single day. Especially now.

If you think I havent looked at her text messages a pathetic amount of time in the last few hours, you're fucking nuts. No, it's not something I'm proud of.

And, yeah, my fingers have typed out a million different messages by now-thankfully, never making it to 'sent,' when her cries and sobs haunt my ears.

I'm doing this for her own good. To make it easier to let me go and move on.

She'll move on just fine. She'll smile again. Find some square, schmuck boyfriend who doesn't know his dick from his balls. She'll have that family she's always wanted and the picket fence, or whatever. She'll have that ordinary life and forget me soon enough.

And me? I'll be in the ground before I have to see all that. Thank god.

Even then. I still don't think I'll forget her.

I sighed to myself in annoyance for the soft, stupid 'Touya' thoughts that still managed to invade my head. Especially after all that fucking rambling about finding Dabi again.

Whatever. I'll get back to myself soon enough.

And, yet, my actions betrayed me as I swiped my phone off the ground next to me, grabbing it once more to see if Violet sent me anymore text messages.

She didn't. Why would she, when I'm ignoring her? What the hell do I expect?

She also said she wouldn't have reception though? Huh. I don't like that. What the hell is that jeweled bitch up to?

Nothing good. I'll tell you that. With that stupid, shit eating grin and dumb looking face, he's up to something.

He's too obsessed with Violet to hurt her just yet though. I bet she'll be fine.

And, if she's not? Well, that just gives me an excuse to go fucking wild, so who am I to let the bedazzled bitch stand in the way of that? Heh....

Everyone's obsessed with Violet though, huh? That damn grape. Of course they are. Look at her.

Anyone with half a brain can see she's the only good thing left in this shitty, stupid world. With that annoying face and dumb purple hair.....purple hair that's just a little too shiny.

...or, that ridiculous smile. How she can get me to crack a grin just from the sight of it alone. Those lips don't hurt to look at either. And don't even get me started on those eyes. Or, that shitty humor of hers...

Huh. Where was I?

Smiling like a damn idiot, is where I was. Looking out into the clouds as if I was daydreaming bitch boy Hawks would fly out of the sky with a damn rose in his mouth.

Stop simping. It's disgusting.

An irritating groan escaped my lips as I snapped myself out of my thoughts, tossing my phone back on the ground next to me as I searched for another cigarette in my pockets.

"You're so fucking stupid." I uttered to myself under my breath, having just pulled the half used pack from the pocket of my jacket.

Call it breakfast.

However, it seems I couldn't even enjoy my shitty breakfast in peace as my phone began ringing loudly from next to me.

I froze in pure confusion at the sound, furrowing my brows like a dipshit as I swiped the device off the ground to see the caller ID.

Unknown Caller.

Huh? 'Unknown Caller?' Who the fuck is that? No one else has my number, but that damn shitty grape. Oh, yeah. And Twice. But, I blocked that lunatic when he wouldn't stop sending me selfies every ten minutes.

Regardless, there's no reason to answer that. Probably someone selling some shit-and unless it's anarchy with a side of destruction, I don't want it.

"Yeah, right." I scoffed, tossing the phone back on the ground before placing a new cigarette in my mouth.

But, of course, that damn annoying little voice in my head just had to speak...

What if it's about Violet? What if something's wrong with her?

I froze in place with the unlit cigarette dangling from my mouth, glaring at nothing but the birds as my own thoughts pissed me off.

Yeah. Why don't you just get a fucking shirt that says 'whipped little bitch' instead, huh?

Grinding my teeth down on the cigarette in anger, I swiped my phone back off the ground, answering it with aggressive defeat.

"Whoever the fuck this is, you pissed me off." I greeted dryly, feeling my palms sweating subtly at the nerves I felt for Violet's safety.

I'd been expecting the bedazzled bitch to answer. Or the masked mute-or, even that moron who's trying to kill grape and I every five seconds.

What I wasn't expecting though...

"Dabi?? Is that you??" The Boss exclaimed way too happily from the other end of the line.

Immediately, my shoulders relaxed as my fight or flight senses retreated, leaving me to sigh bitterly as I ran a hand through my hair.

Wouldn't have answered if I knew it was him.

"It's not me." I said bluntly, looking at my black painted nails in annoyance. "Wrong number. Go bother someone else."

"Oh? Well, you just said its not you-but, that's essentially admitting that is is, indeed, you! Right? So, it is you, to clarify?" He asked happily, causing my eyes to roll bitterly at the behavior I'm too used to.

God, he sounds like the male version of Violet. Is there no way to escape the jackass nerds??? Why do I attract them? I need to get away from these guys.

"Actually, you know what?" I said boredly, deciding to just end all of this now and be done with it, "fine. It is me. But, that doesn't matter, cause I'm quitting anyways."

The Boss gasped on the other end of the line, sounding as if he's just busted a lung from the bomb I dropped.

"Wha-Huh!!?!? Quitting?? What do you mean 'quitting, Dabi??!!'"

My face remained unchanging as I glared at the clouds, finally deciding to light my new cigarette.

Admittedly, his panic made me wanna continue the conversation a little longer. I like terrorizing people. Kinda missed it.

"Yeah. Quitting. Defecting. Turning on you. Betraying you-I dunno, whatever you wanna call it. I don't care. But, just know, we're enemies again. So, you try to kill me, and I'll kill you eventually, I guess." I shrugged casually, giving the worst betrayal moment in history.

Like I said, the story's over, alright? No climax. No build up. Not everything has to be a big show all the time. God. Relax.

The Boss wheezed again as he took in my words, rambling nonsense on the other end of the line.

Bet he's pacing the room, too. What a loser.

"Well-d-did you join Midas??!!" He asked me with alarm, as if any normal villain would actually tell him the truth.

But, if there's one person I can't stand more than a lot of other people, it's that pretentious, sparkly fuck.

"Hell no," I said quickly, scrunching up my nose at the mere thought. "You take me for a moron? There's no way I'd join that bedazzled idiot and his gang of dipshits. I'd rather burn again."

The Boss let out a loud sigh of relief at my words, taking a moment to compose himself as he realized Midas hadn't gained another player.

Yeah. No matter how petty and problematic I like to be, there's no way I could bring myself to work for that moron. Even to get revenge on those stupid 'heroes.'

"Oh. Okay..." he breathed out less stressed, trying to steer the awkward conversation into something else. "Well, then...can I ask why you're quitting?"

"No." I said immediately, losing interest in the moment now as I was about to hang up.

But, The Boss must have known that, too, as he spoke quickly now-getting to the point of why he was really calling.

"Alright!-wait, Dabi! Wait! You can't quit, yet! I really need your help!" He pleaded desperately, yet my finger hovered over the 'end call' button.

"Don't care. You want help? Go ask the nerd. She loves to help. Even put it on the color-coated résumé you never asked for sixteen different times-" I departed sourly, feeling my mood become more sour as thoughts of Violet clouded my head-

"I tried to call her, Dabi!" The Boss said with alarm. "I called her first, but she didn't answer!-she could be in danger!!!"

The fucker's last words were the ones that got me to halt in my tracks, feeling my heart skip a beat of panic as I quickly put the phone to my ear again.

"She's in danger now? Don't lie to me. How do you know?" I asked lowly, gripping the phone tightly as I felt my patience running thin.

"Well...not now, at this moment-I don't think-But, she could be. She will be. Because of her quirk." He explained too vaguely, causing me to grind down on my teeth harder.

"How?" I simply uttered, not wanting to say too much so I wouldn't show too much.

So, I wouldn't show too much of how I care for her...

"It's a complex story. Meet me in an hour, and I'll tell you then-" he tried, causing me to scoff and be a pain in the ass.

"Fuck no. Is that what this is about? I'm not meeting you. Tell me now, or I'll kill you." I said nonchalant, not in the mood to put on a villainous act right now.

That shit's exhausting.

The Boss sighed for my rebellious attitude, probably pinching the bridge of his big nose, the way he always does.

"Dabi, come on. Please. It's...it's too much to explain over the phone. We need to meet in person," he persisted, trying to persuade me with his next words. "Besides, it wont be all bad. You'll get to see your buddies, too. You know, your villain friends? I'm sure you miss them, you haven't seen them in ages!"

Ohhhh, hell no.

The League of Morons are gonna be there? I didn't sign up for that shit...

"They're not my 'buddies,'" I uttered dryly. "I can't stand any of them."

"Oh? Well, they're excited to see you. They've been talking about it all morning." The Boss chuckled, seeming way too chummy with the enemy.

What a damn schmuck.

Now, I was the one pinching the bridge of my nose as I thought how annoying it would be to see the league of dipshits again after ten months. One day with those trainwrecks is enough to surpass ten months of peace.

But...

If Violet's in trouble, like this guy's spewing....

....then, I guess this story's not over just yet.

"I'll be there..." I grumbled in defeat, only adding on to my sentence so I didn't sound so damn soft.

"...but, I'll be there when I want. Not when you tell me to, four eyes."

Violet POV:

"Gahhhh. How much further are we planning to go?" I wheezed out heavily, stumbling countless steps behind Tsuyo and Kaito.

"You've asked that already." Tsuyo said without looking back, having no problem maneuvering over the big rocks and tree trunks as we hiked higher up this mountain.

Too...much........cardio.

"Yeah, well..." I started off, grimacing at the sharp pain that went up the back of my thighs. "you haven't exactly give me an answer. Had I known I'd be working out today, I would have wore my Skechers!"

I even had them specifically designed for extra sole support! Callouses who? Not this girl!-

"Ha!" The third member of our party sneered, turning around to give me that cocky shit eating grin. "Like that would have helped you. I can hear your wheezing all the way from here. Hopefully a bear hears it and fucking eats you."

I glared ahead at Kaito as I attempted to trek faster, huffing loudly as I moved my sweaty hair from my face.

"Technically, there's no bears in this forest-and I'm only breathing heavy cause of the higher elevation. I've never been much of a hiker." I defended, trying to slow my breath for a moment to make a point.

But, my lungs burned immediately at my attempt to play it cool, causing my eyes to widen as I quickly let out a heavy breath and hunched over on my knees.

Kaito laughed triumphantly at my suffering, turning back around to try and match Tsuyo's inhuman walking pace.

"Oh, you're not?" Kaito asked sarcastically, trying to hide his own heavy breath as he fell a few paces behind Tsuyo "Well then you're probably not familiar with the hiking etiquette."

My brows furrowed in surprise for his change in conversation, causing my ears to perk to attention instantaneously.

If it's about manners, I'm all ears!

"Huh? Etiquette? There's etiquette?" I asked in confusion, stumbling very uncool over a giant rock.

Kaito moved a giant branch out of the way so he could continue walking, letting it slap back into place and knock me in the stomach.

"Yeah. Once you get to the top of the cliff..." he said with anticipation, lowering his voice back to that typical psychotic drawl as his true intentions showed. "you always jump off it."

My jaw dropped in offense at his insinuation, causing me to wheeze harder through the forest as I tried to match pace with the others...

...for the sole purpose of talking back, of course!

"Well, good then!" I yelled unnecessarily, "And since 'etiquette' technically means manners-then it's only polite that you jump first and show me how it's done!!"

Ooo!! That was a good comeback, right?? I said it without skipping a beat, too. Did you hear that?? Maybe less oxygen is more efficient for my brain!

"Manners would be 'ladies first.'" Kaito seethed out, flipping me the middle finger as he tiredly climbed over one of the giant boulders.

Crap, that's a big one!

I grit my teeth as I approached the boulder now, giving a pitiful, little jump as I tried to give myself some leverage to climb up it.

My hands gripped the boulder tightly as I jumped...only to slide down the boulder a few moments later.

Embarrassing!

"Ohhh, don't act like you're not a misogynist!" I groaned out to Kaito with exertion, jumping back towards the boulder with aggressive intent.

Once again, my fingers gripped the giant rock tightly....causing my teeth to grind together with determination as I tried to channel my strength and climb up it.

But, I simply slid back down-forced to look up past the boulder and see Kaito poking his head down at me.

"Big word for a woman." He chuckled obnoxiously, abruptly chucking a decently sized rock towards my head.

I quickly ducked out of the way before the thing could take my head off, attempting to get back on the boulder before Kaito chucked more rocks at me like a bully.

"Don't-ow! Stop it!-don't even think about-ow!-starting a battle of wits with me, you-half wit imbecile. I'll have you know-I said stop!!-I was the spelling bee champion of my highschool!" I defended passionately, forced to shield my face when a sharp rock came flying at it.

"I thought you were still in high school based on how ridiculous you act." Kaito insulted, refusing to let me up the boulder as he threw more rocks at me.

Ugh. This guy's being even meaner to me than usual. He's usually a little more tame when Dabi's around.

Ah, but Dabi's not around, is he. Noooo, that broody jerk is off God-knows-where, doing God-knows-what, with God-knows-who.

And I care so damn much, I can't even deny it! Yeah! I don't have the energy to give you a big, emo monologue about how fine I am! Why waste your time?! No! I'm mad! I'm-oooooo-I'm sooo mad!!!

"Ohhhh!!!-plenty of high schoolers are more mature than you!" I yelled at Kaito, not even sure where I was going with my argument anymore as I placed my foot back on the boulder.

The jerk simply readied himself with another rock, waiting for me to move my hand from my head so he could chuck it at me.

Except, he was quickly yanked backwards before he could, disappearing behind the boulder with a high pitched scream before a loud slam was heard.

"Enough already!" Tsuyo said with lost patience, appearing over the boulder within a second. "Or you're both going down the cliff."

Kaito remained quiet-and judging from the loud slam I'd just head behind that boulder, who knew if he was even conscious enough to argue anymore!

Feeling intimidated by Tsuyo now, I pressed my lips together and stayed silent as well, barely looking up at them before back to the ground in a bit of embarrassment.

After all, I still can't get up the last boulder!-

Apparently, Tsuyo didn't have a hard time figuring that out either as they quickly extended their gloved hand down to me, waving it around with impatience and frustration for me to take it.

I grabbed it quickly, feeling their fingers tighten around mine, before they hoisted me up over the giant rock within a few seconds.

And, yeah. That's some pretty cool super strength! But, quite honestly-and this may sound a littleee weird. Maybe even a little...hmmm stalkerish?? Noooo, I don't wanna believe that!

But, I was more focused on their hand, not letting my mind skip over the fact that this is the first time I have been able to actually touch Tsuyo. I don't mean that in a romantic sort of way, not even in the slightest!

Just an intriguing way, as every single ounce of this person is coated in mystery-literally and figuratively. Any sort of little thing like this can be looked at as a hint into the person they are.

Their hand is warm in my own grasp. It's the warmth of a human being-making them more realistic in my brain. While they have gloves on, their fingers are firm-even a little bony. I can pretty much feel their actual skin with how tightly they've had to grip my hand to pull me up.

And, even though they pulled me up quickly, they let out a small groan of exertion as they did so, showing that their strength isn't the superhuman, quirk type.

Quirk.

What is their quirk? Do they even have one?

Certainly, they don't need it, with how skilled they are in combat and controlling Midas' jewels-

"I said let go." Tsuyo's harsh voice interrupted me, causing my thoughts to shatter as I came back to reality and saw I was still holding their hand even though I was sitting on the ground.

Ah. That's embarrassing. You know when you accidentally call your teacher 'mom?' Yeah, it's that level of embarrassing.

"Oh!!" I exclaimed in alarm, yanking my hand out of their grasp at lightning speed. "Ahhh!! I'm so asefjdkldne I'm so sorry!!!"

Tsuyo simply kept their hand close to their own body now, giving it a little wipe as if to get my presence off them before they spoke.

"Now..." they began, ignoring my apology as they decided to move on from the moment.

Even so, that frustrated me. They literally avoid every single thing that could be personal. Even the acknowledgment of an apology....

It's like...they're so afraid to speak with me. Maybe 'afraid' isn't the right word. Cautious? I don't know.

Regardless, I straightened up my sitting position, opting to remain on the ground and take a rest after that long, completely uncalled for hell of a hike.

Tsuyo didn't seem to mind my sitting position for the time being, surprising when you consider the strict person they are...

"Let's get a few things straight." Tsuyo continued, subtly starting to pace the soft grass as they spoke. "Number one-I don't want to be here."

I pressed my lips together at their blunt honesty, feeling the same exact way.

When Midas said he was planning to 'unlock my potential,' as he said a few hours ago...I was expecting a training session with him. Not his moody, cranky goons who hate me!

But, can't have everything, I guess.

"Number two-I have to be here, per Master's request to strengthens Violet's skills with the jewels. So, we are going to make the most of this session." Tsuyo continued, before a hoarse cackle was heard from the corner.

"Don't forget Master asked me to come along, too, you moody bitch! You're not the only one in charge today. Guess you're losing your touch!!" Kaito called out, bleeding and slumped upside down against a tree.

So, that's what that loud slam was a few moments ago!

Tsuyo didn't even bother to look at Kaito as they continued speaking, simply gesturing to him like a dead bug.

"Number three-Kaito's only here as target practice for you, Violet. Think of him as a human shield. Or, whatever the moment calls for." They finished, causing Kaito's eyes to widen in alarm.

"Huh!?!?!" The yellow eyed man grunted out, before being completely ignored once more.

"If he dies, then oh well. If he doesn't, then whatever. The point is, you'll practice the jewels on him." Tsuyo finished boredly, causing unease to settle in the pit of my stomach.

Human targets have never been my forte!

"Uhh..." I said unsurely, looking at Kaito with a little bit of guilt. "I mean...I don't mind practicing on, like...a rock or something!-"

My words caused Kaito to roll over onto the ground with fury, not even wiping the blood from his head as he looked to me aggressively.

"Ha! Yeah, right! As if that bitch could kill me!" He started off, unintentionally egging me on-not that he cared. "Look at her!! She's already about to shit herself in fear of me! She knows I've set out to murder her. She knows it!! She's terrified!!"

Tsuyo purposefully didn't say a word as they let Kaito dig himself into a hole with his ranting, slowly looking back to me knowingly once he was finished.

I looked at Kaito blankly as I took in his ridiculous threats, puffing out my cheeks as I decided to change my answer.

"Okay. You know what? On second thought, fine. Let's do this."

****

"Now," Tsuyo started off, lightly pacing the grassy grounds back and forth. "do you remember what Matser Midas said the first time you use the jewels?"

I pursed my lips in thought to their question, trying to warm up a bit as I reached for my toes.

Safety first! The biggest crime is pulling a muscle!

"Uhhhh," I uttered, trying to sift through everything Midas has told me since I arrived at the mansion. "they're...very bright?"

Tsuyo stopped their pacing at my stupid answer, turning on their heel to face me now.

"....The other thing." They urged boredly, making panic rise in my chest at getting the answer wrong.

"Oh. They're....very beautiful!" I guessed once more, cringing when Tsuyo sighed.

This is unexpected! I'm usually the smart kid in class!

"....Okayyy," they said with losing patience, gesturing their gloved hand for me to continue. "Besides that..."

Sweat began forming on the back of my neck now as my brain short circuited, causing me to start blurting out unnecessary word vomit instead.

"Hmmm-they can turn Dabi into a-"

"Emotions, you idiot." Tsuyo interrupted me with a groan. "Emotions. They work on emotions."

Ah. Duh!!!

"Ohhhh. Rightttt..." I uttered with a grimace of embarrassment, slowly standing up straight before reaching my arms over my head.

Tsuyo watched me with a shake of their head, placing a hand on their hip as they paused their teachings.

"I thought you were supposed to be smart. Has spending time with that burnt feral cat made you lose brain cells?" They asked casually, barely striking up a rare conversation-even if it was about insulting Dabi.

"That's debatable, honestly." I admitted with a purse of my lips, reflecting back on my time with Dabi.

After the ridiculous fight we're in, I definitely feel a little dumber!

Tsuyo nodded in acknowledgment for my point, relaxing their shoulders as they regained their patience once more.

"Alright. Well....yes. The gems work on emotions," they uttered a little softer this time, slowly pulling an enhanced jewel from their pocket.

I stopped my lazy warm up stretches at the sight, looking at the gorgeous jewel with a bit of awe as Tsuyo slowly hovered it in their hand.

Even from the small motion, I could see they controlled the item slightly different than how Midas usually does. It didn't appear as natural, hovering above their palm. They weren't able to make such a beautiful flowy show with it, the way Midas does.

But, still, they did it with ease. Years of practice, I assume.

"It's the entire premise of his quirk-emotion." Tsuyo continued, slowly curling their wrist and making the jewel curl with it. "The stronger the emotions, the more powerful the jewels work."

I took in the words with focus, remembering all the times I witnessed Midas use his powers.

"Does that mean...Midas is very emotional?" I asked genuinely, watching Tsuyo split the hovering jewel into two different ones now.

They didn't even look at me as they spoke, seeming lost in their own thoughts as they controlled the two pieces of jewel.

"He's one of the most emotional people I've ever seen." They admitted frankly, pressing their hands together and causing the jewel to fuse back together.

I couldn't hide the surprise on my face from their words, remembering all the times I've seen Midas smiling so chipper.

...except for earlier today, when he was playing the piano...

"Really?" I uttered, causing Tsuyo to hum in agreement.

"His story is haunting." They explained, spreading their palm and causing the stunning jewel to form into a heart. "One that could easily drive, even the most beautiful hearts, incredibly mad."

I gasped slightly when they abruptly formed their hand into a fist-causing the jewel heart to shatter into minuscule flecks around us now.

"I....I didn't realize..." I said, almost apologetically-not quite knowing what I was even apologizing for.

Tsuyo looked to me upon hearing the guilt in my voice, slowly raising their hands above their head and causing the flecks of jewel to bond back together once more.

"Of course not. That's the point." They said a little more patiently, hints of pride coating their voice for the man their boss is.

My brows furrowed as Tsuyo returned the jewel to its original state flawlessly, letting it rest a few inches above their palm now.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't realize it, because Master has learned to control his emotions to the absolute fullest." Tsuyo said. "He had to learn. If he didn't, he would have never become as strong as he is now."

Slowly, Tsuyo hovered the powerful jewel over to me now, causing my hands to open up hesitantly as I realized they were trying to give it to me.

I practically stopped breathing when Tsuyo cut all power from the jewel now, causing gravity to take over and allow it to plop into my hand instantly.

It felt cold and smooth in my hands, clearly radiating a powerful amount of energy as I already felt waves of it tingling my veins.

"The same goes for you. For me. For anyone who is granted the power of these jewels." Tsuyo explained, placing their hands behind their back now. "The only way to get stronger-to unlock your full potential....is to master your emotions. If you let them loose-even for a second....the jewel will eat you alive."

My eyes widened a bit at the last words, causing me to immediately break the mysterious aura between us as I spoke in surprise.

"Literally?" I asked, not expecting what happened next.

Unintentionally-definitely unintentionally-Tsuyo broke their mysterious facade for a moment...letting out a small, breathy laugh for my stupid comment.

Oh???

It made me nervous-causing me to look at them like a jackass and laugh with them unsurely, before they quickly composed themselves.

"No, not literally. The jewels don't have appetites. Just....figuratively. You'll essentially lose your mind. The jewel's powers will become too strong. Destruction and chaos follow. So...that." They said blandly, sounding as if they were reading the side effects off a medicine bottle.

I silently looked up at them as I reflected on the moment a few weeks ago...the moment I took Midas' jewels without permission and used them.

"...has that ever happened to anyone before?-asking for a friend." I uttered quietly, trying to sound as casual as possible while I pried.

Please say 'no.' Please say 'no.' Please say-

"Yes."

Screaming, crying, and throwing up.

I puffed out my cheeks calmly, trying to hide the internal shrieking that was currently happening inside my mind.

"So....like.....Can you tell me w..who?" I said hesitantly, rubbing the back of my neck casually as I avoided Tsuyo's masked face.

"And why would I do that?" They said a bit condescendingly, seeming as if they liked to make my socially awkward self suffer with all these damn questions.

"....cause you're in a silly, goofy mood?" I asked with a grimace, causing them to shake their head and lazily brush past me without a word.

"Stop talking in memes." They said over their shoulder without surprise, making me straighten up quickly and get back on track.

Oop. Okay, I guess that conversation's over.

"Right!-Welp, I definitely don't want to cause mass destruction and chaos. So! Let's do this!" I said with an awkward fist bump into the air. "Where do I start?"

Tsuyo pulled a little notepad and pen from their pocket now, assessing me from a few feet away as they began our training.

"You start with the hard stuff." They said vaguely, already jotting something down on their little notepad.

What is it???

"Oh. Right, cause that's what every beginner wants to hear..." I grumbled, causing Tsuyo to look back up at me now.

"Your strongest, most unhinged emotions are the most dangerous ones to deal with when controlling the jewels. They take the most practice and time to master. No use starting with useless things that make you happy." They said carelessly, causing my jaw to drop a bit in offense.

Useless??? Plants and coupons are not useless!!

Regardless, I bit my tongue and said nothing to Tsuyo's words, knowing we weren't at that level of comfortability with each other.

"Ahhh, okay." I called out, shifting back and forth on my feet uncomfortably. "Fair enough, I guess."

"Good, let's start then." Tsuyo said, not missing a beat with their next question. "What's something that triggers you?"

Ooooof!! Diving right into it like that, huh???

Even hearing Tsuyo's little monologue on how important it is to open your emotions in order to train with the jewels, I couldn't do it. Call me crazy, but I'd rather not open the most difficult moments of my life.

Maybe I can skip by on the bare minimum today...

"Uhhh. Hmm..." I uttered, playing dumb as I thought of a few quick, true things. "socializing. People. The uneven size of my thumbs."

The masked person was quiet for a moment as they took in my words, seeming as if they knew I was full of crap with that answer.

"Good start." They said anyways, causing a glimmer of hope to shine in my eyes.

"Really??"

"No, that was horrible." They quickly followed up, causing me to groan in defeat. "It's too vague. The exercise requires specifics. Diving deep. Think of something personal that triggers you. Important moments of your life."

Unease coated my veins as I already knew exactly what moment of my life triggers me. But once again, I hesitated...desperately not wanting to unlock the everything my mind has spent so long trying to bury.

Tsuyo seemed to sense this, speaking once more with a little patience.

"If you want to get stronger, it's gonna require you to feel uncomfortable. It's only temporary though." They tried to reassure, causing my heart to begin pounding as my emotions started unlocking against my will.

"How do you know?" I uttered softly, starting to fidget in my place a bit as post traumatic stress began to build in my veins.

Once again, Tsuyo remained silent at my words....looking straight at me through their mask when they finally spoke.

"I guess you'll just have to trust me."

There wasn't any warmth in their voice. They didn't say anything else that would comfort or persuade me to unlock my emotions. But, even so....it was something that put me at ease a bit. I don't know why.

But, it gave me the push to, at least, try.

Letting out a deep sigh, I slowly turned my attention away from Tsuyo and towards Kaito-who was probably thirty or forty feet away...yelling insults at me to try and egg me on.

Kaito's doing it all wrong though. I've never been the type of person who responds to 'egging on.' No, I've had too much experience with that. Too many bullies in my life, and too much time to build endless amounts of patience.

What I respond to...is emotions. My own pain.

At least, that's what I assume. I've never given myself a real opportunity to find out. Until now.

"Okay." I breathed out nervously, giving my hands a nervous shake as I tried to open my mind for the first time in ten years. "I've...I've got something..."

'Got something' is an understatement. Yeah, I've 'got something,' something that completely rewired my entire brain and existence through its trauma. Something I've been trying to force out of my mind for the last ten years.

I'm scared.

"Good." Tsuyo said calmly, jotting something down on their notepad once more. "Now-think about it harder."

Oh god.

My brows furrowed with fear, yet I complied anyways....letting my eyes fall closed as I tried to envision the day Touya died in my head.

Out of habitual instinct, my closed lids see absolutely nothing...having become so used to blocking out the world for so long.

But, still I kept them closed, trying to trigger something inside myself that would help me remember.

"I.......O..Okay..." I said quietly, feeling my chest starting to tighten before I could even envision anything.

Even the mere thought of trying to remember is enough. It's enough to make my fingertips tingle with anxiety.

An anxiety that was, apparently, strong enough to weakly power up the enhanced jewel in my hand.

My heartbeat began pounding in my eardrums. I don't know how much time had passed, but it felt like an eternity as I tried to remember the last day of Touya's life...surprised Tsuyo allowed me to sit in silence for so long.

And, finally, after a moment of keeping my head completely blank...a very faint image began forming behind my eyes.

It gave me a scare-causing my heart to jump and a gasp to catch in my throat as I quickly opened my eyes before I could truly see anything else.

The jewel powered down when I'd done so, beads of sweat starting to form on my forehead.

Gradually, my behavior began to change now. The pretty scenery around us was no longer my focus as I breathed heavy, feeling my chest burn with building panic.

"Don't hold back like that." Tsuyo said, putting their notebook down as they watched me slowly start becoming unhinged.

I opened my mouth to speak, frantically shaking my head back and forth as I looked to the jewel in my hand.

"I..I don't want it to eat me though!" I called back, definitely making some excuses.

More than anything, I just don't want to trigger myself.

"It wont. You're not in any danger. If I feel you going out of control, I'll restrain you with this." Tsuyo reassured, pulling an onyx jewel from their suit now.

I let out a raspy sigh at the sight of the onyx jewel, having seen it enough times to know it holds some type of control over the body.

A positive that I won't blow myself up with this jewel, I guess.

"Ughhhh. Alright." I said raspier, stalling a bit more time as I tried to get myself together.

But, obviously, that's not the purpose of this exercise.

"What's going through your mind right now?" Tsuyo asked me patiently, treading carefully on their words. "A specific moment? A dream? A feeling?"

My throat already began to choke up at the simple questions, causing a nervous hand to run through my hair.

"A....A day." I admitted, hearing the slight shake of my voice.

Tsuyo nodded, slowly putting away their notepad when they sensed I was already becoming more unhinged.

...and we've barely even started.

"Think of the setting from that day. What were the smells? Sounds? Images?" They asked me carefully, causing me to close my eyes again and try to remember.

Burning flesh. That's the first thing to come to my mind. Screams. My own and also...

....Touya's.

Oh god.

I grit down on my teeth as I forced the memories of burning flesh and screams to stick in my mind, feeling the jewel power back up in my hands.

"Good." Tsuyo encouraged firmly when the jewel lit back up. "What emotion...do you remember feeling the most from that day? Think about it."

My brows knit together as I found the answer to that question instantly, letting it echo inside my mind.

Helpless. I felt helpless. Unable to help Touya. Unable to help myself. Only able to watch it all happen out of my hands.

With my shoulders tensed to their limit, I felt the jewel slowly hover off my palm now...hearing Tsuyo's footsteps back up just a bit.

"Okay. Now...people. Think about people. Who was there with you that day? What events had happened that led up to the moment?" Tsuyo asked, their voice slowly fading with the growing ringing that pounded my eardrums.

God, what didn't lead to that moment? The moment of Touya's death? It was like a sequence of dominos that couldn't be stopped. It was the day every single thing went wrong.

It was the day he....we....

The words from that day...the words that led to everything slowly began to form in my eardrums. They were words I haven't allowed myself to hear for ten years, causing me to panic instantly and open my eyes.

With the jewel already powered up, it accidentally released from my control and shot towards Kaito....pathetically falling to his shield of armor as it never gained enough strength.

Ah. That's embarrassing.

"Crap..." I uttered as I watched Kaito gloat from the sidelines, flipping me the middle finger as he began to trash talk my horrible attempt.

"Hah!!! Wow!!! Is that all?!?!? God, you suck! Worthless, pathetic bitch!" He cackled loudly, before Tsuyo controlled the jewel on their own and brought it back towards us.

"Okay. That sucked." Tsuyo said bluntly, causing me to sigh in stress for how poorly the training session was already going.

This is too much for me.

"Yeah, I know," I uttered raspily, letting a small sniffle escape my nose as I absentmindedly began stumbling away. "Listen, I can't do this. Sorry."

My response was curt and bland-and I didn't care. Because right now, I just needed to get out of there-

"Yes, you can," Tsuyo said firmly, not even moving from their spot as they watched me walk away. "You're just scared. That's normal. You're supposed to be."

My increasing emotions caused frustration to rise in my veins, making my feet abruptly turn towards Tsuyo with a slight glare.

"No, actually, it's not normal. Nothing about this situation-nothing about what happened to me is considered normal," I said lowly, losing my usual politeness as I felt myself becoming unhinged.

Tsuyo was quiet as they listened to my words, staring at me through their mask as they let me talk.

"I know its not normal. I know I'm not normal..." I uttered a little quieter, feeling a lump of tears settle in my throat. "B..But, I'm trying to be. I've spent the last ten years trying to find normalcy again. And I...I think it's best if we just keep it that way."

Slowly, I turned on my heel...about to start making my trek down the mountain, before Tsuyo spoke.

"That's not 'normalcy.' That's called 'running from your problems.'" They said a little firmer, boots starting to crunch along the ground as they walked after me.

It caused me to pick up my walk a bit faster, trying to reach that giant, pesky boulder quickly now.

"Well, whatever it is...it's something that's been working for me." I tried to dismiss, forced to stop when Tsuyo gripped my arm.

They kept a tight hold on me, one that let me know this wasn't over.

"Has it though?" They asked me a little lower, seeming as if the answer had already been painted on my face.

And, maybe it is. Especially, when I didn't say anything.

"Walking on eggshells with your own mind. Waking up every day and hoping you don't snap. Desperately hoping something doesn't remind you of all that pain. Is that 'normalcy,' Violet? Is that really how you want to live the rest of your entire life? In a bubble? A bubble you can't even escape from?" They asked me with a little more emotion in their voice, seeming as if they were hoping to achieve more than just some training with this exercise.

I looked at their concealed face with a little bit of desperation now, wishing I could see an actual person instead of just a mask.

"If 'living in a bubble' means I don't have to relive that day right now, then....yes. That is how I want to live my life." I admitted honestly, not caring about how weak and pathetic that may sound.

Because, it's true. The pain from that day was the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. It tore me apart every day-every moment for years. It still does. But, at least I've been able to create this false reality for myself and just...exist.

For the first time, Tsuyo seemed thoroughly agitated with me, seeming frustrated that I was giving up on this so easily.

"Mastery of this exercise....it doesn't just mean you're able to control the jewels. It means you're able to overcome the trauma that's imprisoning your mind. It means you're able to finally stop suffering. You won't have to live in a bubble, and you won't have to worry about reliving that day. You can just....live." They said firmly, keeping a tight grip on my arm as they tried to get through to me.

I looked at them blankly, taking in their words with more meaning than I wanted to.

In theory, it sounds good. But...actually getting there...

"It's going to destroy me." I whispered quietly, feeling tears cloud my eyes now.

"Only if you let it." Tsuyo came back without falter, giving my arm a small shake. "It's like a fight. You train for one, so you can become the strongest opponent. That's what you're doing today. You're training to beat your own mind-so you can become the strongest opponent. You'll never get stronger if you don't try."

Their words made sense. More sense than I'd like to admit as I felt small sparks of motivation swirling in my mind now.

I'm afraid of my trauma, because its a stronger opponent than I am. As much as I hate to admit it, Tsuyo has a point.

"Alright. I'll try one more time today." I said softly, causing Tsuyo to loosen their grip on my arm. "It's...it's just... hard day for me to think about."

"So, don't." Tsuyo suggested, slowly walking me back to the middle of the field. "Don't think this time. Try speaking it. Out loud. The first things that come to your head, yell them out. It may help you stay grounded in reality."

Speaking it out loud? I've never tried that before. It always felt so forbidden.

I guess if there's a time to try...it's now.

"What if...what I'm saying doesn't make sense?" I said unsurely as I stood in the middle of the field once more, admittedly not wanting to embarrass myself.

"If you're speaking it, then it obviously makes some sort of sense to your conscience. Don't worry about anyone else. You care too much for other people. Learn to focus on yourself." Tsuyo instructed, slowly backing up to give me space to work.

'Focus on yourself.'

That's funny. Dabi says the same thing to me. I wish he was here.

But, he's not. And, today, he's not going to be.

I've become too dependent on him. I've been using him as a way to forget my past.

It's time to get better on my own. It's time to heal.

The only one who can do it is me.

I let out a small sigh of nerves, giving my hands another shake as I prepared to re-enter the past a second time.

"Alright," Tsuyo said a few feet away, causing me to focus on their concealed voice. "Let's try it again. From this day....what's the first thing to come to your mind? Don't think too hard. Just say it."

I closed my eyes softly as I barely reflected back on that day, feeling the same thought enter my head as before.

"Bur...." I said awkwardly, not used to speaking these thoughts out loud. "Burning."

"Good. What's burning?" Tsuyo followed up patiently, causing my heart to immediately spike in fear.

I grimaced and clutched my chest, yet kept my eyes closed as I spoke once more.

"Skin. So much skin." I said out loud once more, feeling a sour taste coat my tongue.

The jewel began to glow in my hands again as it powered up with my anxiety, causing Tsuyo to take another step back.

"It powered up stronger this time," they encouraged me, quickly resuming the questions. "Who's skin was burning, Violet?"

The question caused a new wave of fear to paralyze my veins...working its way up my chest and closing in on my throat.

"H..His skin." I choked out slightly, squeezing my eyes shut tighter as my brain instinctively tried to forget.

The jewel's glow began to falter as my mind tried to blank out, causing Tsuyo to speak quickly.

"Say his name." They ordered, causing a painful gasp to escape me at the command.

My legs began to feel weak and my head dizzy. Yet, I forced my lips to speak, even if my mind couldn't think.

"Touya."

The name fell from my lips so naturally, lingering in the air above us with so much meaning.

It hurts even more to say it out loud.

So much.

I kept my eyes closed, but I heard the jewel hovering in the air now...letting off a slight buzzing sound as it seemed I activated it's powers stronger.

"Why was Touya's skin burning?" Tsuyo asked me, causing my muscles to tremble with panic at such words.

They've never been spoken out loud. Ever. Not by me, not by his family. It's always something we avoid, the specifics.

So, to hear it said out loud for the first time in so long....it definitely triggered emotions in me.

I collapsed to my knees as the jewel's buzzing began to get louder, clutching my stomach as I tried to work through the exercise.

But, it's torture. Physically and mentally, it's torture. My body and mind feel like they're being split in half and fusing together all at once.

This time, I couldn't give an answer to Tsuyo's question, as the block in my brain overpowered my words.

"I...I don't know. My mind...it won't let me remember." I whimpered honestly, causing the jewel to start trembling in the air.

"Your conscience seems to remember, even if your mind doesn't." Tsuyo said, forced to speak louder as the sounds of the jewel got more powerful. "Think. Think. What could have happened in that situation....that caused Touya to burn?"

I was heaving deeply on the ground now, feeling my head about to split itself in half as I tried to break past the mental block and remember how that day happened.

"I...." I choked out, feeling sweat dripping off my face as I fought with my own mind.

A searing pain shot up my temple now as I tried to reflect on the day harder, causing me to yell slightly and grip my head.

"Aghhh!!!" I cried out as the jewel glowed brighter. "I...I don't know!!! I really don't!!!"

"Yes, you do!!!" Tsuyo yelled back, trying to reach the barriers inside my head. "You know. Deep down, you know. So, think. Fight it and think!!"

Think. Fight it and think.

The muscle memory of my fighting for my memories was definitely rusty, but it was one that still seemed to have some sort of strength as I forced myself to continue sifting through the memories. All of them.

The good ones with Touya. The bad ones where we had little fights. Images of his smile. Sounds of his laugh.

The tears he would cry. The times he would hurt himself to try and mean something.

Think. Think. Think. Why did Touya burn?

A loud ringing pounded my eardrums now as I forced my brain to move closer and closer to the truth, practically feeling a bubble pop in my brain as something finally became clear.

Small sounds and faint images invaded my mind as I vaguely saw a black and white flash of that day in my head, seeing one of Touya's flailing arms covered with....

"Fire." I breathed without thinking, feeling my breaths toppling over each other at the small flashback.

The brief image caused me to immediately feel sick to my stomach as vomit began lurching it's way up my throat, yet Tsuyo spoke-or, rather, yelled...as the jewel's glow and sound had gotten even more powerful in the time I've been reflecting.

"What about fire?" Tsuyo asked, causing me to suck in a harsh breath.

"Fire!!! He burned from fire!!!" I screamed, feeling thick tears running past my closed eyelids now.

My muscles began to burn hot now as my head began to spiral causing me to grip the grass and hold onto my control-

"Why did he burn from fire?!" Tsuyo yelled as the jewel began to roar loudly now, causing me to let out a shrieking wail as I slammed my hands down on the ground.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It's too strong.

My thoughts are too strong. I can't handle it. Oh my god.

I can't handle it. I legitimately can't beat my own mind.

The environment around us began to swirl with fast air now as the jewel became too high, causing Kaito to scream in fear as he realized how little of a chance he stood at surviving.

"It was an accident!!!!" I shrieked, feeling the power of the jewel slowly entering my bloodstream now.

That's never happened before. The few times Midas has let me control it, it's always been surface level. It's never felt like something was literally being injected into my veins.

Is that how it's supposed to feel? Like the power's actually entering your body?

I've never felt this strong before. In my entire life, I've never felt anything like this.

I can't handle it. My emotions. The power. It's too much. It's too-

"And, what caused this accident, Violet?" Tsuyo said calmly this time, making the most intrusive memory yet enter my brain.

Because deep down, I know exactly what caused this.

With more of my emotions having become unlocked, the next flashback came back without warning this time, showing me something I legitimately haven't been able to imagine in ten years.

It was Touya. Before he burned. He was looking at me, piercing my eyes with his own as his mouth spoke slow and clear.

I couldn't hear what he was saying. But, I could see his mouth forming the words. The words that caused all of this.

'Violet, I lo-'

My brain had reached it's limit as the memory cut off before it could finish, causing my eyes to fly open with a powerful glow of the jewel.

A scream louder than ever ripped through my vocal chords, possibly shattering one of my own eardrums with the force as the power of the jewel shot into my body with too much strength now.

I've lost control. Of everything. The jewel. Me. Reality.

I was pushed too far.

"Fuck!!!! Tsuyo shut it off!!!!!" Kaito screamed as my hands unintentionally began releasing powerful blasts of the jewel at a rapid rate, sounding as if I'd been releasing multiple grenades at once.

"Violet!!! Okay, that's enough!!!! That's enough!!!" Tsuyo yelled, forced to duck as a jewel explosion came barreling at their head.

And, while I heard their pleas...my mind was gone-spiraling too far into the insanity of that day to comprehend anything as screams shredded my throat repeatedly.

My hands glows brightly as I slammed them on the ground, about to bring them to my head-and probably accidentally blow my own brain apart-before a little black jewel tapped me in the forehead.

"RELAX!!! Violet, relax and let go of the jewel!!!" Tsuyo screamed now, barely heard through the roaring of chaos happening around us.

But, the point was, I still heard it.

Within seconds, my iron gripped fingers released the jewel, causing the glow of it to shut off and exit my body in an instant.

It returned to its original, solid state above me, hovering peacefully now like the most beautiful thing you've ever seen.

The order to relax caused me to collapse on the ground now, body slack and mind drowning in hysteria as I muttered frantic nonsense I couldn't even comprehend.

My mind was spinning out of control-thoughts and memories playing in my head like a reel I can't shut off. His screams shot my ears to hell. His smile shredded my heart. His voice made me want to die.

I felt someone's hand come under my head to steady me on the grass, realizing my eyes were too glazed over and paralyzed to even look.

All I could do was listen as Tsuyo spoke-realizing they had shut off the device that masked their voice, but too far gone in my mind to pay attention.

They were speaking to me, words echoing in and out of my ears as if I was underwater.

"...of...happy...." I heard choppily, missing their sentence as they frantically tried to shake me back to myself.

I felt their gloved hand lightly tapping my cheek as I continued mumbling catatonic pleas at Touya, able to catch their sentence when it was repeated.

"Think of something happy. Anything. Just a second is all I need." I heard them through fuzzy ears, feeling my mind fading in and out of sanity as I worked my brain one last time.

Think of something happy. Something that makes me happy...

Well, that's easy. I only need a fraction of my brain for that.

"Calm down, sunshine." I imagined Dabi saying, trying to imagine his stitched hand on my face.

I whimpered brokenly as I longed for his touch, trying to focus on him as I vaguely felt Tsuyo pressing an amplifying jewel to my forehead now.

I see. They're trying to bring me back by amplifying my happiness. They're trying to regulate my emotions once more.

Keep thinking.

"Oi. There's no reason to lose your head like that," I pictured Dabi saying, seeing that familiar face cocking his head at me. "Heh. You'd make a pretty hot villain though."

A dazed laugh escaped my dry throat as I felt the amplifying jewel slowly working, still picturing Dabi's face as my mind slowly came down from it's episode.

"Just relax." He murmured, gently gliding his thumb along my face.

My muscles slowly began to unwind as the amplifying jewel and Dabi's face made reality more clear. Soon, I could hear the rustling of the leaves outside again. Feel Tsuyo's hand under my head to keep me level.

Soon after that, I could finally feel the effects of the amplifying jewel now, floating back to reality as I let myself imagine Dabi's face one more time.

All I could imagine were his eyes now. Eyes that held no scars, yet I still recognized it as him. A smile that looked just like the boy I fell in love with, and hair white as snow.

He looked beautiful. He looked happy. But, most of all, he looked exactly like T-

I sucked in a harsh gasp as my mind quickly jolted me back into full reality, refusing to let me finish my own thoughts.

Immediately, I sat up on the ground, frantically looking around for a moment before I remembered where I'd been.

Yeah. Training. That went well, right....

I panted heavily from exhaustion now, leaning back on the grass as I placed my head in my hands.

Tsuyo was quiet as they assessed my mood, letting out a sigh of relief as they sat on the ground in their own exhaustion.

The two of us sat in comfortable silence for a small pass of time, glad to see Kaito had passed out in the corner from all the chaos.

Good. Hopefully he stays that way.

I took the time to regain my composure and my breath, letting the wind and chirping of the birds provide me the extra peace I needed as I shut off my memories once more-wanting them to stay locked away forever, if it meant I'd never have to feel that again.

Tsuyo spoke after a few heartbeats of time, voice concealer having been turned back on as they sensed I was well enough for coherency.

"This memory..." they said tiredly, keeping their attention to the pretty views ahead. "Will be the hardest obstacle for you to overcome."

I looked to their masked face as they spoke, letting out a small deflated sigh at that slice of truth.

"I know." I whispered, looking back down towards the grass hopelessly.

Tsuyo looked my way once more upon seeing my defeat, speaking again a few moments later.

"But," they started off, causing my gaze to travel upwards now. "When you do, it will change everything. You won't feel this anymore. You'll feel powerful. At peace. You can do this."

I smiled weakly at their bout of encouragement, not so sure I'm able to be convinced by it this time.

"What makes you so sure?" I asked raspily.

Tsuyo was silent for a moment as they tried to find the right words, seeming as if they wanted to say one thing, but chose something else instead.

"Midas picked you for a reason, didn't he."

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A/N: thank you guys for reading! It's nice to be back from my break this week. I appreciate all the kind messages you sent me, and your patience for the next chapter as I took a mental health break to recover. I wanna address a few things.

So, some of you have asked what happened to the lemons that were already published on Wattpad, and I will tell you here as well that from AOTS and Ordinary, I unpublished them (I unpublished them on Ao3 as well). I did this in relation to why I took a hiatus last week. Rather than appreciating the content I worked hard to put out, people expressed (specifically in the most recent Dabi lemon 'Pretending Never Felt So Good Part Two') that what Dabi was doing was gross and disgusting and how I killed the mood when he....I will let you use your imagination lol.

AOTS gets daily hate about every little thing (it's my most popular book, so of course), and I usually take down/address stuff in the book every few months when I roll my eyes and get tired of reading what trolls constantly thinks about the book, Ari's character, the lemons, etc.

ALL lemons, previously published, and future ones, are now on Patreon only. BUT!

I know a lot of you cannot afford Patreon (and I wouldn't make you pay for my content if I wasn't struggling to pay for my college). Since I wanna try to be as fair as possible and not punish all the amazing readers who are good to me, I have left the first two lemons for AOTS up on Wattpad, and I have left the first lemon of Ordinary (their first time) on Wattpad as well, since these are more about key moments in the plot, and I don't want you to miss out on the story. I love you guys and care to give you proper content, whether you pay for it or read for free.

I tend to delete hate comments the moment they come in (something I wish I would have started doing a long time ago), because people tend to jump on the bandwagon whenever they see one person criticize the author. Then, it becomes thirty of the same comment saying "I hope Ari k*lls herself." "I hate this OC." "This book sucks." Etc and as an author who tries to read comments and connect with her readers personally, it gets tiring.

I may take more hiatuses in the future to help my mental health, so if you see that, don't be alarmed cause I will probably return. I don't plan to take another one any time soon though.

Regardless, I value your support and I hope you can continue to enjoy the story. I really love your interactions in the forms of comments and votes, as it's a big reason why I'm still going with this book.

So, all lemons are patreon only now. Patreon is also now FOUR chapters ahead in Ordinary, instead of two, and I will probably continue to post more double updates on there (I've been averaging posts 5-6 times a week with some type of content or info). There is also now NSFW art of Dabi and Violet and SFW canon chapter art from some amazing artists who volunteered their help.

Of course, I understand if you can't join. But, if you want to, I would sincerely love to have you.

Thank you for understanding and I hope you guys have a healthy, safe weekend. See you next week.