Top pic credit; Sumi354

Violet POV: - present time -

The word 'hopeless' doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now.

I suppose some other words could be 'guilt.' 'Anxiety.' 'Isolation.' All of them interchangeable and only drowning me deeper with each passing second.

It mimics the grey, cloudy skies currently above my head, threatening to explode with a shower of downpour in any next second.

It also mimics the sea just a few miles down the boardwalk I reside on. The waves aren't calm today, probably thanks to the incoming storm. No, they're crashing heavily against the shore, their color mimicking the darkest shadow and swallowing everything in its path completely whole.

I suppose that's one of the reasons I love the ocean. It has a life of its own, complete with a story and emotions just like the rest of us. Even the sea has its bad days, willing to let everyone know when it's been wronged.

Part of me admires such strength from Mother Nature. Having no problem roaring and throwing a fit whenever it pleases. I admire this, because it's where I lack. While I have the same emotions as the sea, I don't release them the way it does.

No, I bottle everything up until there's physically no room left to hold another ounce. Until my mind and body break. Only then do I allow my own storm to rage and crash into everyone around me. It's only happened once, but since then, ten years of emotions have been gradually filling my soul to the absolute brim. With every passing day, I can tell there's not much room left. I can tell I'm forcing down the final bits into a place they don't fit. Into a place that will surely overflow and explode at any given moment.

And, yet. Not a single soul on this planet would ever know that if they were to see me right now.

With my sanity currently being cut up by the storm inside me, I remain lazily crouched at the bushel of ocean flowers along the sides of the boardwalk, gently stroking the petals of vibrant orange and blue.

While the possibility of a storm has brought less visitors to the beach today, there were still some passing by. I could see their touched smiles in my peripheral vision as they walked past me, thinking I must be the happiest, purest person the world ever saw, playing with my flowers. Some even stopped a few times to let me know this.

"You look straight from a painting, my dear." The tired man smiled, giving me a small nod as he carried his easel and stool further down the boardwalk.

"What a sweet, young lady you are." The older woman cooed, taking my return grin of gratitude as one of content.

"Mommy, I want to play with the flowers, too!" The little girl whined, trying to toggle her way over to me before her mother caught a firm grip on her arm.

"No, honey. We're already late to meet your father for lunch." The uptight woman reprimanded, barely glancing at me with hints of toxic green in her eyes. "Besides, not everyone has the free time to touch flowers all day. I know I don't."

I didn't even look up-or react, for that matter to her comment, continuing to stroke the flower petals with glazed over eyes and a coping, mechanical smile.

Because, truth be told, I also don't have time to be touching flowers all day, though I wish I did. I wish I came to the boardwalk today for that specific reason.

If people truly knew why I was here, they wouldn't be so quick to admire me-so quick to underestimate me and take my intentions as pure ones.

No. They'd run in the other direction. Looking at me with fear and disgust that I deserved.

I was only reminded of it when the intrusive crackle of technology came from the little device inside my ear. Its appearance easily deceived the others, taking the fool proof appearance of a wireless headphone.

Only if you were inside my ear at this moment....would you know how desperately I need help.

"Darling, it's half past ten. They were supposed to meet you at 9:30, were they not?" Midas murmured a bit impatiently through my ear, making me swallow nervously as I continued mindlessly stroking the flowers.

Like I said earlier, I wish I was here to see the plants.

I clicked the phone resting in my free hand to see the time, letting out a small sigh of anxiety.

Midas doesn't like to wait.

But, even so, I can't help but hope he never stops waiting for the Todoroki siblings to show up today. Because I don't want to do this. The last thing I want is to bring my loved ones into my mess. I just have no other choice.

I'm alone. There's no one left to help me. And I'm not mentally or physically strong enough to do this on my own.

"We did agree on 9:30, yes." I simply uttered, feeling the ocean wind bolster a little harder with anger.

I'm sure Midas probably wanted more from my response. Though, I didn't know what, and honestly, I didn't care. My lack of sleep and proper meals numb my cares quite a bit today.

I feel like a walking corpse.

He let out a small sigh of annoyance on the other line, speaking murmurs to someone else in his office before turning his attention back to me.

"Text them and find out where they are. Go on, hurry up now." He ordered with uncharacteristic bossiness, causing my brows to furrow with a bit of surprise.

That was a little rude. He doesn't usually speak to me that way. He's always been so patient. So kind.

It scared me a bit, causing my hands to fiddle with the phone and attempt to unlock the screen-

"There she is!" I suddenly heard a few feet down the boardwalk, instantly whipping my head to the side.

To, both my dismay and relief, I saw the three remaining Todoroki siblings walking towards me at a leisurely pace, slowly rising from my crouching position with a smile and wave.

"Who was that? Are they here?" Midas called in my ear, instantly causing my smile to stiffen.

He can only hear. He can't see anything.

"Mhm." I hummed through my smile, not wanting my incoming friends to think I was speaking to someone else.

That would create a whole new scenario of problems.

I heard Midas let out his own sigh of relief and clap his hands together, with his sour mood instantly taking a 180 turn now that the plan was back in motion.

Like I said, he doesn't like to wait.

"Perfect, dear. Perfect-now, remember the plan." He murmured to me quickly, trying to give me last minute directions as the siblings approached me now. "You're fishing for information about Endeavor-specifically, when he'll be gone from the home next. Whatever time that is...it's when we strike."

I didn't respond to him because I couldn't. Though, part of me felt happy I didn't respond anyways. I don't ever really ignore him, and with a plan he's forcing me into where my loved ones will be in danger, it felt satisfying to blow him off. Whether he knows I did, or not.

A small bang was heard through my ear piece before Midas cursed in annoyance.

"Who's at the door? Kaito, you ugly thing, go answer that. Unless you'd rather-" He began nagging, causing me to quickly press on the little headphone and turn the volume down.

If only I could mute everyone who annoyed me.

"Hey, Vi!" Fuyumi exclaimed brightly, holding her arms out for a hug and reaching me first. "Ooooh. I was worried about you-you know-with your room being broken into the other day??"

My brows furrowed in confusion to her words, hugging her silently for a moment in reflection.

When I called Endeavor last night, he was mad at me-knowing full well that I was the one who destroyed my room in a mental breakdown haze.

Yet, he told the kids my room got broken into? Why didn't he tell them the truth?

It's simple. It's for the same reason he never acknowledged Touya was sick. The man hates imperfections, especially when they're his responsibility.

Even if he's trying to atone, some things are just ingrained into the person he is. This is one of those things apparently.

The knowledge that Endeavor was trying to hide my breakdowns stirred something in me I didn't understand. It made my chest feel heavy. My head felt blank and isolated, my veins boiled with anger and shame that wanted to explode on whoever was around to listen.

Is this how Touya felt when people ignored him?-

"Ow, ow, ow." Fuyumi peeped, causing my head to snap back to reality and see I was digging my nails too rough into her shoulders.

My red cracked eyes widened in guilt as I quickly released her, letting out a stale chuckle of apology.

"Oh-sorry. I just....I missed you, too." I said a bit raspy, clearing my throat and giving her a small bow.

Not sensing my imploding sanity, Fuyumi pressed a touched hand to her chest and smiled warmly.

"I'm glad you're okay after the break-in." She said before Shouto came next.

The half-and-half boy cupped his milkshake with two hands, not releasing his hold on it-or the straw from his mouth as he awkwardly veered his body into my chest.

I let out a genuine laugh at his usual Shouto-ness, wrapping my arms around his back and patting it softly. He's been doing the action forever, never been good with affection but still wanting to be hugged deep down.

When he was a boy, he'd just face plant into my stomach, arms hanging limply while I hugged him and patted his head.

He towers over me now though, only making the sight funnier as I craned one of my hands up to pat the top of his head.

"Hard day?" I mused warmly, hearing him sucking whatever was left of his drink dry.

Shouto hummed lazily to my words, backing his body out of my hug a few seconds later when he was satisfied.

"The milkshake could have been better. I don't like when they mix the flavors." He shrugged, looking to the empty cup dissatisfied.

Natsuo rolled his eyes and laughed as he ruffled his little brother's hair, making his way over to me now for a hug.

"Considering that milkshake is the reason we were late in meeting Violet here, Shouto-just say you liked it." He chuckled, wrapping his arms tightly around my shoulders.

My heart squeezed with extra guilt as Natsuo hugged me, my arms barely circling his back before I retreated out of his hold.

Knowing that Midas is listening to all of this as we speak...it just makes everything hurt. Too much to converse casually.

"Besides, the barista was around your age, Shouto. She even put her number on the side for you." Fuyumi mused, causing Natsuo's jaw to drop in amusement to the knowledge.

Shouto quirked a brow of confusion before looking to the cup, scrunching his face in disbelief.

"Huh. Should I call and tell her the milkshake wasn't good?" He asked, causing Fuyumi and Natsuo to snort softly.

"No, Shouto. She did it because-" Natsuo began, trailing off with pressed lips when Shouto obliviously tossed the milkshake cup into the garbage nearby.

The three of us looked to the half-and-half boy knowingly, before Fuyumi shook her head and changed the subject.

"Anyways..." She smiled, shivering slightly when a strong gust of ocean wind ran through us. "W-What made you wanna meet up here for lunch, Vi? There's supposed to be a big storm coming. The house would have been....warmer."

Now that I know Endeavor lied about what really happened to my room, I'd rather not explain the entire situation and say the real reason why I wanted to meet outside of the house was to avoid him.

I chuckled nervously and rubbed the back of my neck as I fought for an excuse.

"What do you mean? There's a ton of restaurants on the boardwalk-and it's such a....nice day. You know what they say....fresh air will do you good-" I began, with the words being taken out of my mouth from the loud roar of thunder that suddenly boomed through the area.

Yeahh. Maybe not my best idea?

Natsuo and Fuyumi's eyes widened as they looked to the darkening sky, with Shouto watching the stirring ocean ahead boredly.

Clearly, they aren't convinced of my words. I don't blame them.

"Come on, guys. I just wanted to get out for a little bit." I tried to reason again, starting to slowly walk down the long boardwalk with hopes they'd follow. "We have a lot of memories at this beach, you know. We've even found friends here before."

My own heart tugged at the words that came without thinking, instantly bringing back the particular memories that now invaded my brain.

The memories of walking here with Touya and the others on a bad day. On my birthday and eating cake on a stick. The memories of finding Akio here all those years ago. Finding my best friend for the very first time and saving him. Sure, he was a few miles off the boardwalk in an alley. But, still...the place remains the same.

The others seemed to find the memories through my words, too, with all three of them lazily lugging their feet down the wood path to follow me.

"Yeah, how is Akio anyways?" Natsuo asked, pulling his sweatshirt tighter to his body as we walked. "I invited him out with us today and he said he was skipping."

My heart clenched tightly upon hearing the words, with Natsuo only affirming something I was dreadfully thinking.

If Akio spoke to Natsuo today....it means.....he's actively avoiding my messages.

He's been avoiding me ever since the night of the ball. The night we almost kissed.

It's my fault. All of it. I'm the one who made a move on him-and kept making moves on him until he finally almost caved. That wasn't fair. It wasn't right. It was selfish.

I need to go visit him soon and fix things. How? I don't know. But...

I can't lose my best friend. Especially not over this.

"You...you spoke to Akio?" I muttered as I walked a few steps ahead of the Todorokis, trying to sound as unbothered as possible.

I don't need them knowing something's wrong with the two of us.

"Mhm." Natsuo hummed obliviously, looking to the shops that lined the boardwalk with interest. "He didn't seem too interested in talking today. Cut our call short. Heh, the guy's probably still hungover from Mr. Eternal's party."

My teeth ground together at the mention of 'Mr. Eternal,' aka Midas. Only further settling the reminder of why I'm here.

To get information from my friends. To trick them into telling me things I know they only trust me with.

And, yet...

The longer I spend around them today...even if it's only been a few minutes...the more I don't know if I can do it.

Not only has my mouth run dry with any way to introduce the idea of Endeavor's leave into the conversation, my brain has a blanket of hesitation over it, refusing to think of any sleazy excuse to bring the topic up.

Am I chickening out? Fuck. I can't chicken out.

What's more correct here? Ratting them out to Midas and possibly being able to save them? Or telling them the truth of 'Mr. Eternal's' intentions, but signing their death sentence?

I don't know. I don't know. I hate that the decision is placed on my shoulders with no help. I'm suffocating and there's no way I can show it.

"Yes, the party was so fun!!" Fuyumi exclaimed, only causing nausea to fill me up more. "I can't stop thinking about it. I don't even remember everything, but I know I want to go back. I'd love to see that man again. He was so handsome, too. Goshhh."

"I thought there were too many decorations and the place smelled weird. Midoriya threw up from the punch. It was all overrated." Shouto chimed in, causing my eyes to widen slightly as I knew Midas was listening.

Oof. He's gonna be sour about that comment. I know it...

I cleared my throat, trying to avert the subject and save Shouto's ass-literally.

"It did smell really nice in the mansion, didn't it, Shouto?-"

"No? I said it smelled w-"

"Anyways!" I quickly chimed in again, abruptly turning to face the group of three.

They all stopped walking at my weird behavior, with Natsuo being the one to look at me funny now.

Ugh. Great. The one time he notices something is wrong with me-

"You okay, Vi?" He murmured with concern, walking a few steps ahead of Shouto and Fuyumi. "You look pale today."

Even through the cold ocean breeze, the back of my neck began to sweat with anxiety now as I knew Midas was listening intensely. The last thing I wanted was to accidentally slip up and give him away-on audio.

That would be signing everyone's death sentence.

"It's-yeah! I'm just...tired. Because of the party, too-you know? Mr. Eternal. Woooo...." I said weakly, giving a small fist bump to the air.

My heart began to pick up speed as they looked to me in silent confusion, feeling the incoming storm outside mirror my state inside.

Though, before I could cave and blurt out all the wrong things in a moment of weakness, the crackle of my earpiece sounded again, meaning Midas probably turned the volume back up for me. How generous of him.

"You're losing them a bit, darlinggg." He half-sang with fake patience. "Come on now. Win them back and ask the right questions. Time is of the essence."

I swallowed the nerves and tried to relax under the watchful eyes of the Todorokis, starting to casually walk down the boardwalk once more.

"Sorry. I've...not been sleeping well." I murmured to them a bit dully, finally allowing a bit of my honest self to show through for the first time today.

Even if it was only saying something in passing such as that, it still alleviated a minuscule buildup of tension in my body.

Within seconds, I felt someone loop their arm through mine and aid my walk, looking over to see Fuyumi smiling sweetly.

"Hey, you've been through a lot this week. Your room got broken into, I wouldn't be sleeping either." She reassured, yet the reassurance came out empty as it only reminded me of the truth that hurt.

The truth that Endeavor is trying to shun me. He has been for the last ten years. It shouldn't hurt so much coming from that man. But, it does.

I nodded stalely and said nothing as Natsuo and Shouto popped up on my other side, allowing them to drag us lazily down the boardwalk.

"Yeah, don't worry about it, Vi." Natsuo reassured warmly, gesturing to the shops that lined our sides. "Today can be a day to get your mind off it. Pick a shop. Any shop, and I'll buy you something."

Guilt only further settled into my veins at their kind actions, instantly shaking my head with heavy disagreement.

"N..No. I don't think-what about lunch? We were going to do that, right?" I asked deflatedly, feeling my anxiety rising as my earpiece crackled again.

"Violet, my dear. You haven't even brought Endeavor into the conversation, yet." He sighed with losing patience, before I was spun back to reality.

This is overwhelming-

"I picked the restaurant at the very end." Shouto explained casually, gesturing to the little cafe that seemed legitimate miles from here. "I wanted to stop by the kite shop and get one for Midoriya along the way."

"Aw. That's sweet, Shouto." Fuyumi chimed over the increasing ocean winds. "Did he ask for a kite?"

"No. But, he reminds me of a kite sometimes." The half-and-half boy said vaguely, causing everyone to look thoroughly confused at something that only Shouto himself understood.

I sighed with growing agitation at the pressure of the day dragging me under, attempting to pry my arm free from Fuyumi's when I began to feel hot.

"I..I think-"

I don't know what I was even going to say and I didn't get to find out as Fuyumi interrupted me happily, gasping and pointing to one of the little setup shops nearby.

"Vi!! Look at this one! It's perfect for you!" She exclaimed, quickly dragging us over to the shop by our intertwined arms.

A soft groan escaped me as I heard Midas chime into my ear with another comment of impatience, unable to focus on who I should listen to as Fuyumi situated me in front of the shop.

It was only when I got a look at what the merchant was selling did I understand her excitement, feeling my anxiety freezing temporarily at the sight.

The shop sold flowers of all kinds. Bouquets, single roses, but their most popular item was....

"Pressed flowers." I whispered softly, watching the little, delicate glass panels of vibrant ocean flowers dangling from a rack for all to see.

Instantly, the sight brought me back eight years, with images of me in my garden...and Touya next to me as I pressed my own flowers.

If only I could go back to such a time. When things were good. Simple.

Ordinary.

It's the very first time in my life that I wish I was ordinary right now.

Of course, my old, ordinary flowers didn't look nearly as good as the ones done by this professional. But, the presentation wasn't the point for me.

It was everything that came with it that was the gift.

Natsuo and Fuyumi smiled happily upon seeing my soft, dreamy grin, trying to keep the momentum going.

They're too good to me.

I mean it.

"Which one is your favorite, Vi?" Natsuo asked, before turning to the merchant and pulling out his wallet. "Actually, you know what? I'll take one of each color, please? Of the pressed flowers."

"O..Oh. Natsuo..." I tried to protest, unable to as Fuyumi squeezed me tighter.

"Hush, Violet. You deserve this. You're always getting nice things for us." She mused, handing Natsuo a few bills to split the cost.

I pressed my lips together to stop them from quivering, especially when Shouto came up on my other side.

"I wish Dad didn't get rid of your garden. I liked looking at it." The half-and-half boy commented quietly, only uncovering another reminder I wanted to forget-even if his intentions were good.

The garden I worked so hard on. Where I planted my 300 seeds. Endeavor did get rid of it.

Shortly after Touya died and I was brought back home, he uprooted it and covered up the evidence as nothing more than a faded memory.

It seems to be a common theme he does with my existence. Cover it up. Whether it be to his children about my bad days, or my interests in gardening, or the person I am-someone he's clearly embarrassed of...

He's always trying to cover me up. Just like he did to Touya. He always does it with his failures. He covers them up, hoping one day to place enough dirt atop them so they'll be weighed down forever.

A toxic mixture of anger and upset stirred in my veins at the man, complimented extremely poorly with the guilt and anxiety I already felt towards the Todoroki siblings.

It made the act of Natsuo handing me a single pressed flower less meaningful, feeling my hand grab it mechanically now.

Without saying thank you, I held the flower in my hand and stared at it dully, seeing my sunken reflection in the glass.

"Yeah." I blurted out to Shouto blandly, keeping my eyes on the glass. "Your dad, Shouto....man, he just really can't stand my existence."

Truly, I didn't totally mean to say that out loud-let alone, have the other Todoroki siblings hear me. But, in my haze of growing insanity, I didn't really pay attention to the volume of my voice.

"What? That's not true." Fuyumi protested lightly, giving my arm a soft squeeze to lift my mood. "He's....well-he's been in a bad mood lately. Especially, with your room having been destroyed by an intruder. But, I don't think it's anything personal-"

"It is." I instantly cut off, voice dull and void as I stared at the pretty flower. "It is...so..very personal, Fuyumi. That man absolutely despises me. Always has. He'd be happier if I were to throw myself off this bridge right now and drown in the ocean."

My tone was still emotionless, yet held hints of passive aggression. It was unintended-but, then again, so was this whole conversation. I'm supposed to be asking about Endeavor for Midas' sake and here I am, talking about my own problems.

Midas had also gone quiet in my ear, making me wonder what he was thinking as he listened. But, truly, I don't give a damn that he's listening right now. I don't care about anything.

"Violet, how could you say that?" Natsuo said with concern, dragging our group away from the questioning merchant to continue the conversation more privately. "Who cares about what that piece of shit thinks? You've never cared before."

I chuckled at such irony to his words, feeling my throat starting to close as I gently shook Fuyumi off me.

Alone. I want to be alone from them. From everyone.

"Haven't I?" I pointed out bitterly, crossing my arms into my body. "I've spent my life suffering because of him just like the rest of you. Sure, you have a few years more under your belts-and...Shouto....you....you-but-how can you say I don't care? That it didn't affect me, too?"

Fuyumi blinked a few times in confusion to my sudden hostility clearly not understanding where this was coming from. Though, as someone who hates conflict, I could tell it was stressing her out.

"Well, you shouldn't care." Natsuo tried to ease, only failing and making things worse. "He's not worth it. We don't need him."

I felt the anger rising in my chest at his oblivious words, only shaking my head in denial when Fuyumi continued to miss the point, too.

"That's right. We have each other." She tried, before I had enough.

"Yeah. That's easy for all of you to say!" I bit back aggressively, gritting my teeth and backing away from the trio a few feet.

I could see Fuyumi was hurt by my outburst, only making me feel worse as I stumbled back and created more distance.

"W..What do you mean?" She asked, trying to study my sunken features yet my ocean blown hair thankfully covered a majority of my face.

My bloodshot eyes studied all of them with a bitter laugh, gesturing to them as the jealous evidence I needed. The evidence that always hurt me.

"Well, just look at you. All of you." I rambled off with misplaced blame, wiping my running nose without care. "You're a family. So, yeah, you three do have each other. It must be nice."

The trio stared at me in surprised silence for a moment, with the next one to speak surprising me quite a bit.

"Well. I...think of you as my family, too, Violet. I thought you knew that." Shouto said honestly, making my heart squeeze with rising guilt and pain to his words.

His words softened my bitterness a bit, causing me to rub my face with my hands and avoid his questioning gaze.

"Shouto...." I trailed off softer, before Natsuo chimed in.

"No, he's right." He said firmly, stepping a few feet ahead of his siblings to me. "You're just as much apart of this family as the rest of us, Violet."

Regardless of how genuine the words sounded, coming from all of them, my brain refused to let me believe any of it.

Why?

Well, because I know what it means to have a family. I know what it means to have a person who will always have your back no matter what. Who will always put you first.

And I know what it means for it to be stripped away forever. To never feel the love of your blood again and always be alone.

So, yes. The Todorokis could mean well by saying they consider me family. But, the reality is that I am not their family. Not only do they not consider me part of the family, but I don't feel as if I am either.

It's a lie. All of it. I am alone.

My lips began to shake now and my throat hurt from the lump settled in it. I cursed the sheen of tears that began to blur my eyes, feeling the ocean winds pick up as the storm grew closer.

"No.....n..no...no." I protested shakily, backing away from them further and creating more distance.

Even Shouto looked concerned now at my clearly deteriorating mental state, looking to his older siblings in confusion. Yet, he only found the look on his own face mirrored onto their own.

"Violet." Fuyumi asked with worry, trying to get a better look at me. "What's going on, huh? Come on. Talk to us. You're not....yourself. Is something wrong?"

I shook my head rapidly as my brain filtered out her words, refusing to let them get closer to me as tears escaped past my lids.

"Are you fucking dumb? Of course something's wrong! It's all wrong!" I blurted out angrily, balling my fists together before looking to the grey sky.

Fuyumi's brows furrowed with hurt feelings, trying to come closer to me before Natsuo stopped her.

"I'm...well-I'm sorry! I'm just worried about you!" She defended with her own growing emotions. "Tell me what happened! Tell me what's wrong!"

I squeezed my eyes shut and hunched over now, gripping both sides of my head and pulling at my hair as the words fell from my mouth without warning.

"My family died! That's what's wrong!" I said much too loudly, catching the attention of passing families on the boardwalk.

What the hell am I doing? I haven't spoken about my family in years. To anyone.

Remember what I told you earlier of my emotions? How they're filling up my soul to the brim? Well, it seems it's already filled. To make room for more, something must come out.

Today, it's this.

My head was pounding and my heart pulsing. Regret for the outburst set in as I closed my teary eyes deflatedly, feeling the eyes of the three Todorokis piercing into me with worry.

"Violet." Natsuo tried, taking only a few more steps towards me before I stopped him.

I can't do this. Not today. I can't do any of it. Not the lunch. Not the mission for Midas. Not anything. It's all too much.

I can't betray my friends. As upset as I am right now, it's not their fault. I need to think of a different solution. Alone.

"Just...stop, Natsuo." I sighed tiredly, harshly rubbing my bloodshot eyes to clear the tears. "Look, I'm gonna go. I-I just need space."

Without a word, I quickly turned on my heel, unable to get very far when someone caught my wrist.

Slowly, I turned my head, seeing it was Shouto of all people who stopped me.

In a rare moment, the indifferent look on his face was replaced with soft concern, with a teary Fuyumi looking to me now.

"W-What do you mean you need space? You...you're not gonna...." She trailed off, clearly not wanting to bring up the event from almost a decade ago

The day I ran away.

Before I was always so sure I'd never do something so drastic again. Now, it doesn't sound so drastic.

But, still...

"No. It's not that. I'm just....not gonna come to the house for awhile. I'm sure your dad will appreciate that anyways." I muttered distantly, trying to pull my arm free from Shouto's grasp before Fuyumi grabbed onto me now.

For not being part of their family, they're taking this harder than I thought they would.

"Violet, please!" She protested. "I can feel you distancing yourself from us and it's...it's breaking my heart. Please....just tell me what's wrong! We can help you-"

"You can't help me." I shook my head with exasperation, yanking my arm free from her and Shouto. "No, you shouldn't anyways. Look, it's best you all just stay as far away from me as possible. Trust me."

I turned on my heel to leave the boardwalk now, unable to get very far with Fuyumi's next words.

"If it's Endeavor you're worried about!!" She began desperately, causing my steps to falter.

I kept my back to my friends, with the sounds of the incoming storm gradually getting louder as I waited for Fuyumi's last words.

And, god, did she say them. Never in my life...has fate been my enemy.

"Dad will be gone from the house tomorrow morning-" She started, making my eyes bug out of my head in pure panic.

Oh, no.

No. No. No.

This is exactly what Midas wants to hear!

With my broody bitterness lost to the heavy winds, I instantly turned around to face Fuyumi holding my hands up for her to stop.

"Fuyumi, n-no-" I tried, yet her emotional word vomit overpowered me.

Emotional because of me. Because I distressed her with my own selfish grievances at the wrong time.

"He's leaving for America tomorrow. Early. He won't be back for two whole weeks!-"

"Stop talking!! Stop!!-" I exclaimed in panic, feeling my muscles paralyzed with horrific fear as she kept going.

"It's a secret that only the commission knows. But, you're family and that's why I'm telling you!" She cried out with a sad smile. "So, you can come home and spend those two weeks with us. So, you can rest and get better, because you look sick, Violet!!-"

Tears began to fall down my face once more, only sobs accompanied them this time as I covered my ears, shaking my head in misery.

"Shut up!!!" I snapped at her emotionally. "Shut up and leave me alone!!! It's all ruined!!"

With my ears covered, I didn't give her a chance to say anymore as I took off sprinting towards the entrance of the boardwalk.

But, it doesn't matter anymore. Midas just got exactly what he wanted. I just handed them over to him on a silver platter.

And it's only once I'd just done that did I truly realize the meaning of what a family is.

Not every love is the same and that's where I got confused. Hell, not every family loves the same either. Of course I'd love my mother differently than, say, Shouto, or Fuyumi, or Natsuo.

Touya.

But, with how much grief, and distress, and guilt I currently feel for betraying them-with the simple image of a hair being harmed on any of their heads, it makes my knees wobbly. It makes my heart feel as if it's going to snap in half. It gives me the same amount of grief as losing any other loved one. It makes me remember that....

I do love them. They are my family.

And I just basically killed them.

I could hear my own sobs as I ran off the boardwalk, with the harsh winds of the ocean blowing the tears right off my face.

Midas didn't say a damn word in my ear, though since he can hear me, I can only assume he knows I'm currently having a breakdown.

I'm a bit sad to be honest. When I've been upset in the past, he's always been so quick to come to my side and make me feel better. Whether it was with a hug, or a jewel, or some kind words, he was always there. He always showed how much he cared.

But, right now, all I heard was...nothing. Not a word from him.

I wish he would say something to make me feel better. I've come to depend on him for that.

My mind was splitting itself in half as I ran, so conflicted and guilty.

Part of me was completely devastated that I gave away my friends to the enemy. But, I've become attached to this enemy, and part of me was also devastated that he isn't paying attention to me at the moment and helping me through such a rough time.

I felt sick to my stomach as I found myself running along the cobblestone path next to the beach, not realizing until now that a few minutes had passed since I left the Todorokis.

A few minutes already? When did that happen? I didn't realize...

The only reason I know is because I've come across the familiar reef rocks at the end of the beach. Another place with memories as the Todorokis, Akio, and I used to search for hermit crabs within the sand grooves.

Now, the place is empty and secluded, holding nothing but memories as I slowed my frantic running pace and approached it.

With my breath heavy and my legs jelly, I stumbled towards the reef rocks, only stepping onto the ones close to the shore. The tide was starting to grow closer as the storm grew nearer, crashing into the rocks that settled further into the ocean.

Another roar of thunder sounded from the sky as the horizon of the ocean stirred wilder. Yet, I didn't care as I simply sat atop one of the reef rocks and watched, hugging my knees into my chest.

What have I done?

I sighed softly as I tried to calm down, hearing my ear piece finally crackle to signal Midas would speak.

Finally.

Though, before anything could be said, the voice of a person behind me quickly caused the crackle to shut off and listen instead.

I wish I could just take the damn thing out and throw it into the ocean. But, that would only piss off Midas more.

"Wow. You...hahhh...you got faster." The voice said from behind me, breath heavy from the sprint.

Upon hearing who it was, I have to admit it-I was surprised. Surprised he even had the sense to follow me. To know I was upset.

"Natsuo?" I asked raspily, watching the white haired Todoroki let out one more huff for air before tiredly coming towards my spot.

He smiled weakly at my greeting, seeming more concerned with my deteriorating state as he hopped onto the rock.

Realizing he didn't have any intention of leaving, I hesitantly scooted over a bit to give him room, causing him to sigh in content as he plopped down in the open space next to me now.

Neither of us said anything for a moment, trying to catch our breath from the run and adrenaline of it all. Even so, the silence wasn't awkward. If anything, it was actually peaceful, looking out to the grey sky and stirring ocean with an old friend.

After all we've been through together, it actually felt healing for Natsuo and I, basking in the silence and truly just enjoying each other's company.

As much as I ran away just now to be alone, I was glad he was here. Truth be told...

I was glad that someone came after me this time. I was grateful to him for caring enough to find me.

He crossed his legs and leaned back on his hands, white hair blowing in the strong winds.

"You okay?" He asked quietly, keeping a healthy distance as we looked out to the dark ocean.

The gentleness of his voice already made my throat close up again. You know those moments you feel sad, and someone's sympathy just makes it more emotional? It's almost like this person is giving you permission to breakdown. To let you know it's okay to feel the way you do.

Well, to be honest, that's kind of how I felt just now with Natsuo's words. It's not surprising as he's always been a caring person when it comes to his family.

I sniffled softly to try and clear the rising emotions, not wanting to breakdown when all of this is my fault.

There's no time to breakdown anymore. I already know Midas is probably jumping for joy right now, getting his own plan in motion.

"I'm sorry. I messed up." I admitted with guilt, referring to more than just the fight I had with the other Todorokis.

Natsuo shook his head with soft denial, continuing to look ahead with eyes free of judgement.

"We all mess up. No one's perfect." He reassured casually, turning his gaze towards me a bit now. "But, that's the thing about family, Violet. We forgive each other."

I couldn't help but laugh a bit sadly at his words, feeling my heart hurt at the barrier that would probably always exist between Natsuo and I now.

We dated. We messed up our friendship. That means....

"You and I can't ever be family, Natsuo." I said somberly, wiping the stray tear from my eye as I said the words.

Because even saying them hurt me.

His own face flinched with a bit of pain from the rawness of them, brows furrowing without understanding.

"Why not?"

My shoulders slumped as I turned to him now, my eyes pooling with guilt and devastation.

"We dated." I reminded him, instantly tearing my eyes away to look at the ocean once more.

I could feel Natsuo's eyes on me in my peripheral vision, too afraid to catch the sight of his face. I'm sure he's heartbroken. Betrayed, now that he knows we're forever cursed in that 'awkward ex' phase.

It was a defense mechanism my brain couldn't help but give. A way to push him away and let him know ten plus years of friendship is essentially ruined-

"Violet, I don't care about that." He stated a few moments later, voice firm and clear to ensure I heard properly.

My brain's whizzing thoughts froze at his words, looking to him now out of curiosity instead of courage.

He met my eyes in a way that felt nostalgic, instantly bringing me back countless years to the goofy, little boy I used to know.

A soft smile grazed his lips before he looked down at the rocks. The look was a bit sad as the reality slowly began to set in for him. The reality that our dating 'break' was truly more than just that. It was something permanent.

But, still, even knowing this. His true intentions shone through in the hardest moments.

"I mean yeah, I loved dating you. I'd love to do it again." He murmured a bit longingly, keeping his eyes to the rocks. "But, that's not my reason for loving you."

I remained quiet to his words, surprised they were coming from him as Natsuo and I don't usually have talks like this.

The 'I love you's' within our relationship were always taken for granted by me, admittedly. Before we dated, Natsuo already told me he loved me and out of courtesy, I'd always return the gesture.

But, I never stopped to think about what his love meant, or mine for that matter. I never stopped to appreciate it. To realize that it wasn't just passing words from him, but something he truly felt.

"Loving you came first. The dating came second." He explained surprisingly maturely, finally looking up from the reef rocks to meet my eyes. "You really think I'm just gonna stop loving you-or talking to you because you won't date me anymore?"

I mean, there are plenty of people in this world who would say yes. It's not odd to cut ties with your ex-lover...

But, Natsuo laughed softly to the words as if they were bogus-genuinely bogus. It only showed how serious he took this love. How ridiculous it could have been to think the end of a two year relationship would be enough to end our decade long friendship.

Even longer. I knew Natsuo and Fuyumi at least two years before Touya showed his face in the house.

Knowing Natsuo thought the idea was ridiculous admittedly loosened me up a bit as well. Physically and mentally.

I never realized until now how heavily it weighed in the back of my mind that I could lose Natsuo as a friend because of our breakup. Not until my lungs cleared and my shoulders loosened.

The winds of the incoming storm calmed down just a bit, allowing me to take a heavy sigh and feel lighter.

"Well, that's usually how breakups work." I reminded him half heartedly, causing Natsuo to shrug.

"In some circumstances, sure. But, since when has anything in this family ever been normal?" He mused, causing me to laugh a bit knowingly.

It felt good to laugh after the events of the day. To sit here with Natsuo and heal the bond we used to share. To remember this bond and appreciate it.

He wasn't a good boyfriend-and by not conveying how I really felt from the start, I wasn't a good girlfriend to him either.

But, Natsuo is a good person. A good friend. I think dating him...holding a grudge when we weren't ever meant to be together....it made me forget to appreciate the other things he's had to offer. The great, beautiful things about him. The history we hold, even if not romantic, still history. Still a bond-and a strong one at that.

"Look, I can't say I love you like a sister, cause that would be pretty weird." He chuckled softly. "But, I'm always gonna love you. Even if one day, my...romantic love for you finally fades away, I'll still love you just as much as I ever did."

Other than Fuyumi, the Todorokis in the house have a hard time expressing love. The word itself isn't said very often, even for Natsuo-the guy in the family who says it the most openly.

Endeavor didn't raise his kids on affection. Just neglect. Even the warmest of Todorokis, Fuyumi, has a hard time sometimes.

So, to hear such reassurance...to know that I am wanted....that maybe I am accepted somewhere...

"We all love you, Violet. Me. Fuyumi. Shouto." He said, bracing himself before speaking the next name. "And...T..Touya. Touya....he....ah, he had a special kind of love for you. I'm not so young and dumb anymore to not know that."

I smiled softly to his words, closing my teary eyes as I listened.

Whether it's talk of Touya or my mom, I always get a sense of bliss when someone recalls memories. When someone speaks of them and remembers their presence.

And, while Natsuo has a hard time speaking of his brother, it seems he was missing him a little more today as well, laughing softly as he freely recalled one of the people he loved the most.

"Hah. It's something I always envied, the way he held your attention so well. It was something I always wanted, and I tried to watch and mimic him." He mused, taking a heavy pause between his sensitive words. "B..But....at the end of the day, he was my brother. My older brother, and I guess I also admired that he could have something like that with you. With my crush."

Natsuo paused once more with another laugh, only this laugh was less about blissful nostalgia and more about heartbreak. Not for our relationship.

But, for his brother.

Sensing the shift in the conversation, I slowly opened my eyes and looked to him now, feeling my heart squeeze at the sight.

He kept his gaze to the ocean, yet I could see the sheen of tears that now coated his eyes, watching him sniffle and fight the quiver of his lip.

"I...admired Touya....a lot and I never told him." He admitted softly, letting his eyes fall closed with consuming guilt.

The tears slipped past his lids with the action, falling down his cheeks with just a fraction of the pain he truly pent up over a decade.

As I looked to him, it was a reminder. One I needed to see. To hear through his voice. I tend to forget it sometimes, and that's a flaw of mine. A selfish one. But, the truth is...

I'm not the only person who was broken by Touya's death. He has an entire blood family who never moved on. Who never got over it.

One of the biggest effects was on his little brother. Natsuo, the boy who turned into a man and never forgot. Who never spent a day not longing for his loved one, lashing out at his father on the daily with blame to release a fraction of the pain.

I watched sadly as Natsuo's face fought the scrunch of his built up pain, trying to sniffle up his tears and keep his eyes closed.

It's what he's used to. Touya wasn't the only one who never received affection from his parents.

Natsuo was also cast aside. By everyone. He didn't deserve that.

I placed my hand on his shoulder now, causing him to open his crying eyes and look to me.

"It's okay to miss him. You don't need to hide it. Not here." I whispered shakily, feeling my own tears falling.

My words caused Natsuo's brows to furrow in pain before the tears flowed freely. He turned his face away from me and buried it in his hands, with the soft sound of his sobs becoming lost to the ocean waves.

It was heartbreaking to hear him cry, as he's not one to fully sob so often. He tears up frequently, but usually these tears are composed of anger, directed at his dad.

It's not as common to see him so vulnerable and sad.

I scooted closer and wrapped my arms around him tightly, feeling his head fall on my shoulder as his body wracked with sobs.

"I-I...I don't deserve to miss him. I wasn't there for him, Violet. I...I....I never...h..helped him." He stuttered between breaths, causing me to gently shush him and stroke his hair.

"You were just a boy, Natsuo. So was he. We were all just...kids." I murmured, trying to calm the shake of his shoulders. "It's no one's fault. Touya knew you loved him."

Natsuo shook his head and cried harder, gripping onto my jacket tightly as if he were a child.

"But, what if he didn't? I..I never told him. I....never told him.....how much I love him. I blamed him unfairly. I never got the chance to tell him how much he mattered. To tell him I never forgot him."

I sighed sadly as I held Natsuo, continuing to run my fingers up his back and through his hair with the affection he never received, resting my chin atop his head as I looked out to the sea.

"Well, you just did now...." I murmured. "Even if he's not in this reality with us, I know that wherever he is now....he heard it. He heard it and he appreciates it."

"How do you know?"

I pursed my lips in thought to his question, easily able to find an answer when I saw Touya's smiling face behind my vision.

"Because I know Touya. I know the kind of person he is. He pretends to be stubborn and tough on the outside, but deep down, he knows the world never gave him a chance. So, he appreciates every single piece of affection given to him. He treats it as a gift, because he was starved of it. Even if it seems like he holds a grudge over the smallest thing, it could always be repaired with reassurance. By letting him know he matters. That he's important and loved."

Natsuo sniffled heavily to my words, giving me the silence I needed to continue.

"Touya loved you, Natsuo." I reassured coaxingly. "He loved you a lot, and he never stopped. You're his brother. He knew that."

I truly believed my words. I saw it firsthand. For as much as Touya suffered, as much as he acted like he despised his siblings, they were still his siblings. He did care, even if he tried to convince everyone and himself that he didn't.

"He died mad at me, Violet." Natsuo said raspily, with his sobs threatening to pick up again. "The last memories he had of me....he only knew anger."

I couldn't deny that. When Touya died, he wasn't angry at Natsuo specifically, but rather the world for wronging him so hard.

He was even mad at himself. Perhaps, that's the person who took the most blame during his final moments. Even apart from his father, apart from his goals, and his dreams of becoming the number one hero....

The cruel reality is that Touya died alone. It was just him and his final moments. No one else will know what he was truly thinking that day.

But, after having gotten to know him through and through, I know he was capable of so much more than the world gave him credit for. Not just with his skills, but with his heart.

He always felt everything so strongly. And, while this was always looked at as a bad thing, no one ever really talked about how strong emotions could have been an attribute to his good sides.

No one ever spoke of his good sides. No one ever told him he was good.

"He wouldn't have been angry forever. He may have been angry for a long time. But, not forever." I said with full confidence. "Someday, Natsuo. Touya would have found peace and forgiven you. Forgiven the world. Even if it was decades later. He would have."

"What makes you think so?"

The answer to the question came easy this time. All I had to do was pull the feelings from my heart and put them into words.

"Because I believe in him." I whispered softly, smiling nostalgically. "And, deep down, I know Touya had a lot of good in him. It was just overshadowed by the bad. But, still, it was there. I got to see it everyday and experience it. I know how good he can be."

Natsuo's sobs gradually began to slow from my words, seeming alleviated by such torment for the first time. Even if it was only a little.

"Touya's my hero." I said proudly, feeling like that little girl from eight years ago with such pure words. "In the end, he would have done the right thing. Even if it took him a long time to get there and see reason...even if he would have messed up along the way and made a lot of mistakes....he would have called you his brother one day and meant it in his heart."

Natsuo let out a heavy sigh. It held a mixture of grief, but also relief. Temporary relief from the hell that torments him everyday. The guilt he's had since he's been twelve over things he couldn't control.

The words caused his tightly wound shoulders to finally melt away from his ears. His sobs slowly came to rest and his body a puddle of fatigue after releasing a fraction of the things he hasn't felt in years.

I continued running my fingers up his back soothingly as the two of us sat in silence, with Natsuo sniffling softly to find composure.

"All I ever wanted....was to be his brother." He whispered nostalgically, letting the words of truth linger in the air.

And, I understand what he's saying. Touya was always so consumed with his training and proving himself to his dad, he essentially shunned his siblings from his life.

Any sort of concern or protest from them was seen as resistance in his eyes. It was seen as disappointment and that only caused Touya to lash out at them and become defensive over every little thing.

It made for a lot of fights. A lot of regretful words from both sides. But, even so...

"You still are his brother, Natsuo." I reassured, feeling the man in my arms melting back into that little boy from years ago.

His body seemed to find a hint of peace at that, his heartbeat and cries finally stilling.

"And he's mine." Natsuo affirmed softly. "Touya won't ever stop being my brother. Even when he's not here, he still is."

I nodded softly in agreement to his words, knowing nothing more needed to be said for right now.

I know well how much the guilt of Touya eats away at Natsuo. It's in his everyday actions. His eyes. His heart. The guilt never leaves him.

That's what happens when you have a strong bond with someone, I suppose. When you both share the common interest of pain. It's knowing the right words to say, because they're the words you wish to hear yourself. In this case, I wished to hear that Touya loved me, so in turn, I gave this reassurance to Natsuo. That way, someone can feel the relief I always seek.

If I can give that to someone else. To Natsuo. It gives me a bit of relief as well. Not a lot. But, a little. For now.

A bond goes both ways. It can only be nourished if both sides give. Even if Natsuo didn't give me the nourishment of a boyfriend, our friendship has only survived ten years because, even if I didn't always notice, he gave me the nourishment of a friend. Like right now.

"I guess that's a big reason I chased after you today. I...I saw him in you just now. The torment in your eyes. The loneliness. It looked just like....just like him." Natsuo murmured quietly, keeping his head on my shoulder as he held onto my jacket and continued.

"I didn't want to make the same mistake twice. I needed to follow you...so you know....you're loved here, Violet. You're wanted. Not just by me, but by all of us. The ones who matter. So, please. Please, don't think you're alone, or without a family. Please don't think no one cares."

The bond of Natsuo and I heals more with each passing moment we spend, both of us validating the other's trauma with the perfect words. The same way I knew what to say for him, he knew what to say for me.

And, even if the hysteria in my soul is only on a temporary rest, it felt nice to find any sort of reprieve, causing me to rest the side of my face atop Natsuo's head.

"Hell, I'd give my life for you in a heartbeat." He continued a few moments later. "For any one of you."

My heart squeezed with returning guilt to his words. The idea of him being in danger only brought remembrance for why I broke down, why I ran down here.

I do hope Natsuo never has to prove his words. But, even if the opportunity ever presents itself one day, he should know....

"I'd give my life for you as well, Natsuo. I'd do absolutely anything to make sure you're all safe." I stated clearly, giving him another big squeeze.

Hearing those words resonate inside myself with such certainty, with such genuine honesty, it calmed the roaring storm within my system quite a bit.

I haven't been so sure of something in a long time. So completely certain and passionate.

With everything inside myself, I truly will do anything to keep Natsuo safe. Or Fuyumi. Or Shouto. Even if it means going against Midas. Even if it means getting myself killed, I will do anything for them.

It makes me worry less to know that even if I'm not as strong in body as I'd like to be, I'm strong in mind when it comes to some things. The important things. Especially...

"My...family." I whispered peacefully, letting my eyes fall closed as I hugged Natsuo.

Keeping his head on my shoulder, he wrapped an arm around me now. A friendly one. A loving one, but pure in intention.

"Your family for life. Always, Violet. Always."

***

After twenty four years of living, all Touya ever wanted was to know that he was loved...

...and now-sitting here in Midas' office, having just listened to his fiancée and little brother talk about him, he finally got his wish.

**********************************

A/n:

Don't forget about the special stuff coming up for Wattpad readers if you guys keep ACTIVELY reading (voting, commenting, etc. <3) - the release of the smut story LUCID (TWO chapters already on patreon) once all the latest chapters here hit 100+ votes. We are getting closer. Each chap that hasn't hit 100 is at 80 already or almost 80. Keep going!

The faster we reach our goals, the faster we get bonus content. Lets get those numbers up so I can give you guys even more content! <3