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glue our hearts together
with the bittersweetness
we both share. become the
apricot jam to my toast.

or

sticky, sweet,
and artificial.

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‎SOAKED TO THE bone in rainwater, han yeongja arrived home a shivering orange blob among the greys and browns of the house she called home.

the weird boy from earlier (after a long time spent pondering as she walked home, yeongja realised that he was a complete mystery to her) was nowhere to be seen, though the lights in his house were warm and lit.

she squinted through her slightly poor vision, doing her best to try and spot him from the rain blurred windows.

her own house was lonely and uninviting. lim juni had yet to come home from work, and han hajoon was nowhere to be found, presumably at the town's nearest bar drinking his body weight in alcohol.

shrugging off the bright orange rain coat and her shoes and socks, yeongja stepped into the old wooden floor and quickly tiptoed her way to her room, doing her best not to leave any watery footprints that would seep in and rot the wood later.

vulcan whined softly as he heard noise approaching, lightly scratching on the door with his big paws.

"i'm home." yeongja announced as she opened the door with the key fastened in an old chain around her neck.

the great dane nudged past her, giving his owner a small palm lick before throwing himself onto the couch and stretching his long body.

"i missed you too." she shot back sarcastically, biting back a small smile.

when she was with vulcan, everything felt ten times better.

"stay. i'm going to change." yeongja commanded to her dog, who was too busy making himself comfortable to bother following her.

her feet were cold against the wooden floors, and her clothes were sticking to her skin uncomfortably. the drafty breeze sent chills throughout yeongja's body, and she hurriedly shut the door to her room in order to change into something more comfortable.

it was a pain peeling off the wet clothes from her body — too much wriggling and moving back and forth.

with her shirt discarded on the floor and a new one in her grasp, yeongja paused and caught sight of herself in the small mirror on her nightstand.

her stomach twisted as her eyes traced the thick, scratchy letters adorning the skin below her collarbone.

'SLUT' danced like a taunt in yeongja's misty eyes, reddish raw skin exposed to the cold breeze.

it burned far more than just the pain of the wound, scarring beneath her skin and staining her body like a brand — as if she were an animal being marked by her owner.

wiping away her tears, yeongja quickly grabbed the ointment next to the mirror and dabbed it on her wound, slipping on her shirt and a sweater over in order to stay warm.

the more she looked at it, the uglier it became.

as soon as she was warm and changed, pushing away all her crowded thought to the back of her mind, yeongja quickly stepped out of her room to find something to eat.

the sky was darkening faster, soft pattering of rain like a gentle lullaby on the roof of the old house.

flipping on the overhead stove lights, the teen caught sight of three laughing faces in the distance, glowing faces filled with joy.

feeling as though she had spent too long staring, yeongja averted her eyes to her own bleak and empty kitchen, opening up the fridge to see what there was left.

empty egg cartons and milk gallons cluttered the small cold space, dirty leftover dishes her parents had eaten and not washed.

there was nothing in the fridge, and there was nothing in yeongja's stomach. with hunger rumbling within her sunken belly, yeongja closed the fridge and turned off the stove light, enveloping the house in that cold darkness once more.

pouring her dog his food instead, yeongja took his spot on the couch as he rushed to happily fill his stomach.

at least one of them could eat.

running a hand through her damp hair, yeongja sighed deeply, pulling at her clothes for more warmth.

the chill had spread into her bones, leaving no room for any of the fabric simulated warmth. now she was lonely, hungry, and cold.

KNOCKING WOKE YEONGJA from her hunger induced sleep, blearily rubbing her eyes to regain her vision.

she got up from the couch, pushing away the crushing weight that was vulcan splayed on top of her, his heavy paw crushing her ribs.

with a yawn, yeongja blinked away the remainder of her sleep, bracing herself for whoever it was on the other end, whether it would be from drunken violence or angry yelling that she was preparing for.

the door creaked open a few inches, just enough for yeongja to catch sight of a pair of large eyes, the curiosity glinting behind them not one belonging to either of her parents.

"hi." he greeted, that same dumb smile painting his face as yeongja opened the door completely.

he was dressed in comfortable home clothes just like her, though there was a large black umbrella situated in his grasp.

"hi?" the girl replied, confused on why this boy was at her doorstep at — she turned to catch a quick glance at the clock on the stove — 9:26 pm.

"would you like to join us for dinner?" he asked, still staring at her as if she was a strange specimen.

this kid's a fucking idiot. yeongja thought to herself, but the rumbling of her stomach betrayed her, choosing to side with the prospect of warm food.

"why?" she asked bluntly after spluttering for a good few seconds, trying and failing to fathom what kind of people invited someone they briefly met over for dinner.

"not just you, of course." the boy added sheepishly. "your family, too. we're new and made a lot of food, so..."

he trailed off awkwardly at the look on yeongja's face.

"my parents aren't home." she replied, ignoring the tugging feeling in her gut begging to be fed.

"the offer still stands." he said with a smile.

hope filled yeongja, a small spark igniting within her stomach.

but it only lasted a few seconds, dying with the sound of a running motor and the glare of headlights.

"maybe next time." trying to keep her hands from trembling, yeongja gave the boy one last look before closing the door.

she watched as he stood there for a few seconds, confusion written all over his face before he reopened his umbrella and stepped off the porch, hurriedly running home.

back to the warmth of his cozy home.

yeongja was in a frenzy, clutching at the wounds on her chest as they burned, trying to get her dog to get off the couch.

heavy, wobbly steps clunked up the porch stairs, and the teen heard angry mutters and the jangling of keys.

the front door opened just as soon as yeongja managed to get vulcan to hide in her room, and she gently closed the door, knowing that the man had already spotted her.

han hajoon swayed with every step he took, heavy work boots thudding on the floorboards. how he even managed to drive his car all the way back to the house, yeongja didn't know.

"where where you?" she asked, crossing her arms as the man tossed himself on the couch.

yeongja knew where he had been, but getting hajun to talk was the easiest way to tire him out.

especially when he was this drunk.

"work." he slurred, his eyes half lidded. he could barely hold them open.

yeongja scoffed. work my ass.

the man gestured over to her. "come take off my boots."

"i'm busy. take them off yourself." she replied.

"you take after your mother more and more every fucking day." hajun growled, his liquor breath wafting all over the room. "fine! see if i care when you go kill yourself just like that bitch tried to!"

"go die, asshole." yeongja spat back.

he was too drunk to get physical, or remember. hajun had crossed his limit, and han yeongja always got her way during that time. had it been any other day, there would've been a bruise the side of her father's heavy palm adorning her cheek.

"fucking women." han hajun muttered sleepily, his brows creasing as his strength finally gave out and he slumped on the couch, fast asleep.

yeongja only sighed, taking one more long look at the window.

that family was just like hers. one father, one mother, and one child.

except there was one great difference.

they actually loved each other. it was evident in their eyes and in their words, their affection and their smiles.

all yeongja knew how to do with her family was argue, fight, and defend herself. because her family tore each other apart — not to survive, but to quench the brimming hatred running deep in their veins.

they were a twisted family, one that would never be happy.

they were fake; artificial.

like the jar of apricot jam yeongja had never once eaten, because it was far too sweet and fake to digest. nobody liked apricot jam. it was a gross, slimy, sour version of a peach jam.

yeongja and her family were the apricots among the peaches.

nobody would willingly choose them.

not even themselves.

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ORANGE !

a short chapter bc i'm sick and have a lot of time to update my stories 😭

i was planning on writing more but i lost motivation 😞

pls like and vote tho so i can upload more 🙏🙏 also dont b afraid to comment! i loveee reading and replying to comments!!

not edited so pls lmk if there are any spelling mistakes

enjoy<33