One year later

She's gone, that's all I can think about. She's no longer with me. Lucy, is gone. I've dated other girls, I've tried to move on, but I can't.. All I have left is the note, her room, and all the memories. I love her and now she's gone. It's been two years though and still I think about her everyday. I regret everything since that day, the day we kissed in the backroom after Sandy. They all think she's dead. I haven't smiled once since Lucy left.

I walk down stairs and the gang falls silent, they've all treated me differently since she left, "I-I miss her."

"We know Sodapop, but she's dead," Darry says softly. "We all know it don't we. Lucy wanted to die and Lucy always gets what she wants. She left on a suicide mission Sodapop."

"NO!" I lash out as a tear streams down my cheek. "SHE'S NOT DEAD!"

"Lucy wanted to die Sodapop," Darry says in a calm, but unsteady voice. "She wasn't happy."

"No," I whisper to myself as the tears keep coming. "She's not dead, she can't be dead." I sit down on the floor as I sob silently. "It's not true. She can't be gone. Our gang needs her. I need her."

I look at the faces of my gang, there're all broken, quiet, and tired. Nobody has laughed since she left or made joked not even Two-bit. We don't watch Mickey because, it was also Lucy's favorite show, the cakes aren't as good as hers, and nobody's seen Dallas in months. Everything has changed. "I need a drink," I growl as I grab a beer from the fridge and walk outside to watch the sunset, Lucy used to watch the sunset wit Ponyboy. It reminds me of her.

Steve walks outside and sits next to me, "you miss her a lot more then you tell us, don't you?"

"Yea, I miss her smile, her laugh, her jokes, her tough exterior. I miss everything about her," I sigh. "Do you thinks she dead?"

"No, no I don't. I think she's out somewhere in the world with a new squad, laughing, smiling, happy, and forgetting about us slowly. Although every couple of months I think she remembers us and smiles at all of our memories hoping we're all happy and doing good. Or maybe she's torn up about the situation, crying every night, not eating, hurting herself, remembering every last thing about us, but instead of being happy it's hurting her, and she's killing herself slowly," he explains. "If I know anything about Lucy, it's probably the second one, but I like to imagine it's the first."

"How do you know all of that Steve?" I look at him as my mind shoots to a million places, but stays on one. If Lucy was talking to anybody it would be Steve. "Where is she Steve?" He stands up and leaves without saying another word.

Flashback

"Why do you keep telling me that Lucy?" I ask her confused.

"Because I always get what I want and I want a friend that's a girl instead of boys," she giggles.

"Are we not good enough?" I ask her jokingly.

"No, it's just a heads up that soon I'll also have a best girl friend that you'll have to share me with," she winks as she continues to eat before reapplying her neutral matte pink lipstick.

"What do you want the most in this world?" I ask her.

"To get away from Tulsa. I want to forget about everything here the Socs, the Greasers, the rumbles, everything minus ya'll," she smiles her stunning smile of hers as she flips her crimped hair.

"Do you think you'll ever leave?" I ask her sadly.

"I always get what I want Sodapop," she smiles as she stands up looking behind her. "I'm gonna stay at Stevie's tonight. Bye Pepsi."

"Bye giggles," I wave as she walks away.

Flashback Over

I run into the house, "where is she Steve?"

"She always gets what she wants," he winks. "I gotta go home." Before he walks out of the house he turns around, "the only thing is she wanted to die. Take it as you will Sodapop."

"She's dead isn't she?" I ask the gang. "ISN'T SHE? YOU ALL KNOW! YOU ALL KNEW SHE WAS GONE AND YOU NEVER TOLD YOU KNEW! YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME SHE'S PROBABLY! SHE'S DEAD! LUCY'S DEAD!"

"Sodapop ca-" Darry starts.

"Don't Darry!" I yell angrily as tears stream down my face. "I love her and I killed her."

"It wasn't you Sodapop," Pony starts. "She wanted to die for a long time and it was just too much."

"I was her best friend," I cry. "I broke her. I broke my best friend."

"Sodapop please," Darry begs. 

"The only way I'll see her again is if I die," I sob loudly. "I need to see her again."

"Sodapop please, your scaring me," Darry says slowly.

"I DON'T CARE!" I yell sadly as I sob uncontrollably. "I want Lucy. I love Lucy."

"I'm so sorry," he apologizes. "I really am."

Is Lucy really dead? Are Lucy and Randy still together? Does Lucy ALWAYS get what she wants? Is Sodapop going crazy? Did he break her? Did they break each other? Will they ever see each other again? Stay gold. Do it for Johnny!
-Beth