I look over at Ponyboy as he sleeps in our bed, but I have to make sure, "Pony you awake?"

No answer.

I crack open Darry's voice and whisper, "Darry are you up?"

Silence. Perfect.

I tip-toe down stairs to see nobody on the couch. Perfect. I walk over to the bathroom and look into the mirror as I sob. This is the same mirror Lucy used to look into. I miss her.

I miss her smile.

Her tears.

Her laughter.

Her voice.

Her hair.

Her eyes.

Her smirk.

Her attitude.

I miss everything about her and there's nothing I can do about it. I've changed so much since her leaving though. I drink all the time though, but I never get drunk enough to get her off my mind. I never smile anymore. I'm not reckless. I'm not happy-go-luck. I'm not always joking around anymore. I smoke a lot more now.

I don't know who I am anymore. Nobody does. I just want to go back in time and make it up to her. I want to go back and not cheat. What we had was so special. It was a fairy tale.

I love her and I lost her. I lost my true love and my best friend.

I lost my everything.

I feel like my life is no longer a life, but a hell and I can't do it. I can't take another second of it. I'm losing hope on ever seeing her again and without her it's not worth it. It's not worth living if I can't share my life with Lucy.

I'm done
crying,
fighting,
trying
I'm just done.

I dig through the medicine cabinet until a find the same medicine that Lucy used to try to kill herself two years ago. Two and a half years ago everything was perfect, but now it's so the opposite and the only way to see Lucy again is this.

Death

1...

2...

3...

4...

5...

I hear the door swing open, but I just ignore it.

6...

7...

8...

The bathroom door swings open next showing me to whoever just came over, but I don't stop.

9...

"Sodapop! What the hell do you think you're doing?" I hear a tough New York accent yell that I recognize as Dallas.

I turn to Dally, "just walk away!"

"No!" He yells as he grabs the bottle of pills leaving me with one in my hand.

10...

"Lucy's alive!" That's the last thing I hear before I pass out.

Whoa, that was heavy! Is Sodapop gonna die? Is Lucy really alive? Will Lucy come back? Will they get back together? What's gonna happen to Sodpop? Stay gold.Do it for Johnny!
-Beth