trigger warnings - rape, sexual assault, etc. (highly explicit sorry guys)

there's an old idea--don't know where it came from, reddit or twitter or a centuries-old feminist movement--that asks the question, would you rather be alone in a room with a man or a bear?

i've been seeing a lot of content about this recently, and thinking about it. and really, the sad truth that i'm sure many women and girls can sympathize with, is that they would choose the bear. 

imagine you're in a dark alley at night, and hear a rustling from the end of the alley. would you rather it be a man or a bear? would you rather be mauled to death, or--(i'm not gonna say it, but you get the idea.)

i saw this one video today on tiktok, where a content creator was playing off this idea by saying that 'at least you know the bear would leave your dead body alone.' how sick of a thought is that? i don't want to be murdered by a bear. obviously. but i would rather it be a bear than a man. 

i will say, it is not all men. that sounds super cliche, but it's true. not all men are terrible people. 'all' is rarely ever true, anyways. there are always exceptions, to everything. 

not all men, and yet, when there is news coverage of a sexual assault or rape (which does not happen nearly as often as it should), it is always a man. 

i'm not saying sexual assault or rape on a male does not exist. of course it exist. it happens, and it is not any lesser of a crime than sexual assault on a woman, and should not be treated as anything lesser. and yet, the trials of women, just their word against their rapist's, are the ones that are publicized, because more often than not women are viewed as weak, as easy targets. 

okay, it's late, and i'm totally rambling, but the main idea here is that why should i have to choose the bear? why should i be uncomfortable wearing tight clothes in public?

i shouldn't. that's the answer. i shouldn't be hearing jokes about rape from guys my age--or homophobic or racist jokes, on that matter. i should be okay with walking past that middle-aged guy on the street, and yet i feel like i have to hunch my back and make myself look less pretty so that he doesn't take any notice to me. i have to be wary of every single man i see because what if he tries something? 

you never know. you really, really, never know. and who would believe the word of a fourteen-year-old girl over that of a respected man, who has taken the time to build up a name for himself? 

i don't feel safe in this world we live in. i don't like that porn websites exist, and that they include imagery of women who enjoy being raped, who are submissive or need to be beaten into being submissive, because that is absolutely disgusting. it's disgusting. women are people. 

have you seen those articles about how car accidents affect women differently than expected because all of the crash dummies used to test the cars are formulated for the male body? what are we supposed to do then? the symptoms for a heart attack are different in women, and they aren't publicized. if my mother has a heart attack and i google the symptoms but they come up completely different than what she is experiencing and i assume she is fine, what then?

who came up with this shitty system?

i'd choose the bear.