Recognising isn't at all like seeing; the two often don't even agree.

Sten Nadolny

Chapter Four

MICHAEL

The bell for lunch rings and Mr. Ali finally leaves the class. I'm already dozing off during his long speech on how we should be reading hard in preparation for our mock exams, JAMB and WAEC exams. I faintly recollect him listing out points on what we should be doing now as hardworking students but I was really not interested.

The ringing of the bell does well to wake me up and the first thing I notice when I do is the total silence in the class.

At first, I thought they were all also exhausted because of the hours our class teacher had spent in explaining things to us, but now that I'm watching them closely, they look more like they are brooding than tired.

Peter is staring into space, his face unreadable as usual while Femi and Wole both look lost in thought, although it is clear what they are thinking.

"Guys, are we still on this issue?" I ask when I can bear the silence no longer.

"Yeah, we are." Femi replies, a bit of an edge to his voice. "I'm not having a drug addict as a friend." He insists.

"I haven't even started taking the drugs." I defend weakly.

"But you're considering it." Wole replies and I let out a huge sigh, not knowing what else to say.

"He won't be considering it anymore, knowing his friendship with us is at stake." Peter declares and all of us turn to look at him.

Those are the first words he uttered concerning the issue and he had just indirectly asked me to choose between my friends and the drugs.

The others are looking at me expectantly now, waiting for my response and I know what they want to hear.

'Fine, I choose you guys.'

Saying those words would put an end to the matter once and for all and the whole issue will be forgotten, like I had never spoken about it.

But the truth is even when they had outrightly rejected the idea, I still can't help considering the drugs, and no amount of explaining to them can make them understand since they aren't the ones in my shoes.

They aren't the one who is scared to fall asleep at night because of what he knows he'll see as soon as he closes his eyes.

They aren't the one who after falling asleep wakes up with a rapid heartbeat and a body covered with sweat.

They aren't the one who longs for the embrace of a mother that is no longer there when the fear from the nightmare is finally gone.

How then would they understand why I'm so desperately in need of something to get my mind off everything, to make me forget?

"Is it that hard?" Femi asks and I raise my head to look at him. The look of hurt and disappointment on his face is evident and the fact that I had caused it pains me more than I would have ever thought.

"Is it that hard to choose friends who have been with you for more than three years over drugs that could ruin your life?" He adds, looking distraught.

"Of course not." I quickly respond. "You guys are the best thing that ever happened to me."

"It definitely doesn't seem like that when you were battling internally with yourself just now." Peter mentions calmly and I feel the urge to shout at him to just stop talking.

Why is he trying to provoke the others instead of trying to make them understand?

This is exactly why I feel like he hates me sometimes especially when he says or does things like this.

Ignoring him, I glance at both Femi and Wole, "Guys, I'm really sorry. I know I hesitated but I can never choose drugs over you. That would be undermining your worth to me."

Femi visibly relaxes but Wole doesn't look too convinced, "Promise?" He asks and I nod with a reassuring smile which he returns.

"Good. Now, your phone." Femi demands and puts his hand out for me to place it. I give him a confused look and he gives me an impatient one before I finally place the phone in his hands which he unlocks immediately.

We all know each other's password, even Peter's.

I watch as he scrolls through my contacts until he stops at the ones that begins with M, when he finally finds what he is looking for which I discover is Malik's number, he blocks and immediately deletes it.

"Now, I don't want you to ever mention his name." He says and returns my phone which I take back quietly. I won't say I'm annoyed that he deleted Malik's number but I'm not exactly pleased either.

I had been holding on to the fact that there's something that could help me forget my problems even if it's for a while, but the chances are slim now.

I can feel myself beginning to get scared because I know that there's nothing to help me tonight and other nights now, well, except Dorcas.

And I'm even beginning to get tired of her.

"Are we going for lunch now?" Wole asks, breaking through my thoughts and I can already see the huge smile on Femi's face.

The guy and food ehn, I don't just understand.

"Of course, we are going." He replies and nudges Peter who is seated next to him. "Let's go for lunch."

"My ears are working perfectly." Peter states drily and Femi gives him a dead look.

"How would I know when you too will be doing like someone that is possessed?"

Wole and I snort at his words and Peter only rolls his eyes as he puts his iPad into his school bag. Wole and Femi stand up and I do the same as we all wait for Peter to finish what he is doing.

After we are all set to go, we move out of the classroom and I start to head towards the 'out-of-bounds' stairs like we always do but I'm suddenly held back by Femi. I turn to him with a confused look, wondering why he is preventing me from moving, only to see him with a patronizing smile.

"Let's take the other staircase na. That other one is long journey." He pouts and I give him an incredulous look. We've been taking that stairs for two years now and he has never for once complained that it is long journey.

"You want us to go through the other staircase that could be full of students?" I ask in disbelief and he nods passionately in response, not in the least bothered by my tone.

"I'm so hungry and I want us to get to the cafeteria as fast as possible." He rubs his stomach for emphasis and I realize why he suddenly wants to take that stairs. I glance at Wole who doesn't seem to oppose what Femi just said and I know looking at Peter for his opinion would be useless because no one even knows what he is thinking. He will probably just go with whatever the rest of us agrees on.

"Fine." I say, giving in. I already know it would be useless to insist on taking the out-of-bounds staircase and I don't want us to argue about a trivial issue like this one. But as we approached the students' stairs, I feel a slight flip in my stomach.

For one, I don't know what to expect from the students and I'm tired of acting nice towards them since they all try to touch us or get us to talk to them like we are some kind of celebrities. It's really just a hassle when we could take a path that could avoid everything.

I also have history with the rest of the students since I tend to get angry easily and take it out on anyone who is unfortunate to cross my path at that moment. It had reduced when I had become friends with Femi and Peter but even they are helpless sometimes when things get out of hand.

It had gotten to a stage where I had to sign an undertaking in the principal's office to not hit a student in school anymore unless I want to be suspended. Although my friends and I all know it's only a matter of time before I blow up in someone's face.

Sometimes, I know I'm just a spoilt brat who takes the fact that my father owns the school for granted by doing whatever I wish to do but I also know not a single soul can really hold me responsible and I guess that's an advantage.

Thankfully, there are only few students on the stairs as most of them are in the cafeteria, but the few that lay eyes on us surely couldn't close their mouths. They watch us like we are some fascinating beings as we climb down the stairs and I fight the urge to roll my eyes.

I almost stumble down the stairs when a girl suddenly trips and hits me, grabbing me by my shirt so as not to fall and almost pulling both of us down in the process.

I curse beneath my breath when I finally gain my balance and instead of shouting at her for being clumsy, I decide to apologize so as not to draw more attention to us. But I'm both surprised and at loss for words when the girl who I was about to apologize to suddenly smiles triumphantly and looks at me adoringly, like she really can't believe that I'm holding her.

That's when I realized that she did everything on purpose and I immediately let go of her, not caring if she landed on her butt.

I glare at Femi, seeing that he and Wole are both watching with an amused expression while Peter isn't even looking at me.

"You know you're responsible for this." I say accusingly and he gives me an apologetic smile.

Rolling my eyes, we continue our way down until we reach the second floor but I had to stop and watch unsurely as a random girl starts running towards our direction. I try to make way for her to pass but she continues to come towards us and this time, directly towards me. I quickly glance at Wole for help but he looks like he doesn't know what to do himself.

I take a step back when she is almost in front of me but she still ends up throwing herself at me and hugging me.

More like squeezing the life out of me.

"I love you." She whispers in my ear and I freeze in astonishment, then I feel her fingers slip into my pocket, "Call me." She purrs then detaches herself from me and without even waiting for a response,in continues to run down the corridor, leaving me to wonder what the hell just happened.

I put my hand in my pocket and remove a small sheet of paper that has a telephone number and a heart drawn on it. With a roll of my eyes, I put the paper back in my pocket, deciding not to throw it away as it might come in useful later.

I give Femi another glare, still holding him responsible for the harassment I'm currently facing but he only gives me a sheepish grin.

No girl try to make body contact with me after that but we could hear choruses of 'Hi-s' and 'Hellos' in sing-song voices and waves from both girls and boys alike as we continue to make our way to the cafeteria. Finally, we get to the entrance of the cafeteria and I can hear the loud voices from inside it but as soon as we step foot into the cafeteria, the voices start to reduce gradually until we can hear nothing anymore.

I try to hide an impressed smile – knowing that's the effect of our presence - as I walk towards our permanent seat that is located at the side of the cafeteria, away from the other students just to be on the safer side. I glance at some of them and see the appreciative look on their faces, knowing for sure that the thoughts going on in their various heads are how good looking my friends and I are. I fought the urge to adjust my collar proudly so instead I settled for putting my hands in my pocket and walking with more swag.

When we finally get to our seat, the murmurs start but it is definitely not as loud as it was before.

"Sometimes I feel like we are F4 in that Korean drama, Boys before flowers." Femi mentions with a grin and I roll my eyes. I don't know any other guy that is as obsessed with Korean movies as he is, some girls might not even compare and that probably explains why he is a hopeless romantic, even though he's had his fair share of heartbreaks.

"F4 ko, F9 ni." Wole replies sarcastically and I chuckle, even Peter lips rise into a smile.

"Don't you dare make fun of that movie? Do you even know how iconic it is?" He looks fairly offended but Wole says nothing in response. I think I hear a scoff coming from his direction though.

A hand suddenly creeps up my chest from the back followed by a female's bosom pressed against my back, her head resting on my shoulder as she gives me a peck. I already know who it is without hearing her voice and I stifle a groan.

"Babe, what took you so long? I've been waiting for you." She whispers while I remove her hands from my chest as gently as I can and pull her to sit beside me.

"I was settling that issue with the guys."

"You mean the drugs stuff? You're no longer doing it?" She asks sweetly, possibly hoping that she would get me to change my mind if the guys were unable to convince me. I'm about to reply her when I look up to see that she came with her friends.

Her totally far from normal friends.

One is looking at me with indifference before turning her attention to Peter - a look of appreciation taking over her previously cold expression and the other one has eyes for only one other person, a look of remorse on her face as she watches him.

God, I hate these girls.

The first one is an obsessive crazy girl who despite knowing Peter has no interest in her at all, clings to him like he is the oxygen she breathes and the other one is a slut who sleeps around with other guys even when she is in a relationship with someone else.

I know I'm good at pretending that I'm smitten with Dorcas when it's necessary but I just don't have the same energy when it comes to her friends.

I can't even force myself to give them a smile out of simple courtesy, my face just won't cooperate with me. I know they also share the same sentiments with me because they don't hide the fact that they dislike me and I guess it is better that way.

They both flash me a smile that is as fake as their long eyelashes and I nod curtly to at least acknowledge their gesture.

Cat? Carp? or whatever she is called, goes ahead to sit beside Peter who has a very unpleasant look on his face as he notices her intention and the other one- what is even her name again self? Chicken? Chika? Chidi?- whatever she is called takes a seat across from Femi who now has a deep scowl etched on his face.

Poor guy.

He had really liked the girl despite the warnings from me and the rest of us.

I know I can't count too much on Dorcas ability to think but she should know better than to invite her friends here especially after what had happened between the Chicken girl and Femi.

Or maybe they just invited themselves. They are shameless after all.

I'm about to comment on why the food isn't forthcoming yet when I see the servers heading towards us, tray of food in their hands.

One of the advantages of being the son of the school owner is that you don't have to queue like the other students to get your food; the food gets brought to you.

The server who has my food - a lady who should be about twenty-one - places the tray in front of me slowly and deliberately while trying to catch my gaze with a seductive smile on her face. She is a very pretty lady and I admit that when she had first tried to seduce me openly, I was intrigued and almost fell for her.

Who wouldn't be tempted when an older lady is willing to get down with you without any efforts from your side? But I had later realized that she was only interested in the money she could get from me so I started ignoring her just like I'm doing now.

After seeing that her efforts are not really gaining my attention, she drops my drink not so gently - almost spilling the yellow liquid in it - and huffs before walking away with annoyance.

The others watch her confusingly, not understanding why she acted that way but I hide a smile.

"Michael!" Dorcas suddenly shouts, startling me and everyone at the table and we all raise our heads to look at her, wondering what's wrong. I know she's about to find fault in something totally unnecessary which annoys me most of the time but I keep my cool and try to give her the benefit of doubt.

"What is it now?" I ask, my voice coming out harsher than intended. She turns to look at me, her lips drawn downwards.

I remind myself that I can't be too harsh on her, she is the only option I have now to keep my mind off things at night.

"What is it?" I ask again, this time a lot gentler.

She gestures to the egg on her Spaghetti, "I already told them times without number that I can't eat dairy products because I'm watching my weight but look at that, they still went ahead to put an egg in my food. That's how many calories?!"

I give her an incredulous look as I watch her talk.

Eggs?! She's angry because of eggs?! Is she alright?

I see Femi roll his eyes and Wole give her a not so subtle glare. Peter doesn't seem concerned with what's going on and is already eating and I close my eyes, strengthening my resolve to not get mad at her.

'I need her', I repeat mentally to myself.

I clear my throat before speaking so it won't come out harsh again, "What do you want me to do? Should I take the food back so they can remove the egg?"

"No, I want another plate entirely. This one is cold already." She whines and I nod, readily agreeing.

"Can't you get it yourself?" The Cat girl asks with a demeaning look and Dorcas gives her a hard glare.

"Mind your own business." She responds with a scowl, her voice sounding nothing like the whiny one she used with me just now.

"It's okay, I can get her another tray of food." I give Dorcas a fake smile to which her face softens and she giggles. I fight the urge to roll my eyes as I stand from the table. Getting her another tray of food isn't too much to do.

Compared to what I get from her, this isn't much of a task, right?

As I head towards the servers, my mind drifts back to my nightmares and I can't help wondering why they won't just go.

I remember Henry mentioning something about seeing a therapist some time ago and just thinking about it makes me sick.

I don't want to see a therapist. It would only go along the line of facing the traumatic experience to get over it and I'd be damned if I would want to face the experience.

Why would I willingly want to remember the bruta-

I feel the air in me cut short momentarily as something hard hits me in the stomach causing me to gasp. I watch speechlessly as the stainless tray that had just collided with me hit the floor loudly and my eyes widen in horror as the remains of the spaghetti in the tray spill on my shoes.

My 70k shoes!

Anger courses through me as I decide to give a piece of my mind to whoever it is that had just ruined my shoes but nothing seems to get passed my mouth as I stare into the pair of large coffee brown eyes that looks confused as they stare back at me.

Cynthia. Cynthia is the one staring back at me.

"You!" I blurt out. She blinks in confusion.

Okay, I shouldn't have said that.

"Me, what?" She asks and I can only look at her.

I can't let her know that I said that because of that night. Not like she's going to believe me anyways.

What do I say to her to convince her that I know her from somewhere but not from that night with what I've just said?

Oh, I know.

"Orphan?" I say unsurely and watch as something flash in her eyes, her hands clenching together in fury.

"Don't. Call. Me. That." She says slowly, venom dripping off each word.

Was she always this feisty?

Oh well, she did kick a guy in the chin.

Amused that she looks annoyed at me when it should be the other way round, I start to say something but she bends to pick the tray and her cutleries, leaving me to just watch her, then she surprises me by turning to go, like picking up her tray and cutlery will end everything – just like that.

No, she isn't getting away that easily.

I grab her arm and pull her back so she is facing me.

"You can't go just like that." I point at the shoe that is now stained with spaghetti sauce. "I think I deserve an apology for what you did to my shoes and hopefully they aren't ruined because they are expensive."

She looks at the shoe but with not one ounce of remorse in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't looking at where I was going and didn't see you coming." She rushes out of her mouth and I can easily tell that the apology isn't sincere.

And yet I don't want her to leave. I want to keep her in front of me, so I continue to talk.

I raise my eyebrows and pretend to ask in a mocking voice, "You didn't see me coming?"

She ignores my expression and continues, "Yeah, I was in a hurry and I wasn't looking at-

"Are you sure it isn't to get my attention?" I ask, cutting through her sentence and she looks at me like I didn't just say what I did.

I was only trying to tease her but she seems to be getting annoyed.

I know it might sound petty but part of me wants her to be angry too. To get hurt. Just like I was angry and hurt when I found out that she had replaced me with someone else in her memories.

"I don't understand what you are saying." She replies drily.

"Well, some of you bump into me intentionally to get my attention and then pretend it is a mistake." I state coolly but she only rolls her eyes.

She legit rolled her eyes!

Oh, so she doesn't get annoyed easily. Is that it?

"This is the third time a girl will pretend to bump into me today just to find an excuse to talk to me." I continue. Maybe if I keep talking, instead of getting annoyed, she might remember my voice and realize I was the one at the party.

But she seems uninterested in what I'm even saying.

"Look, you don't have to worry about that. I have no intention to talk to you and it really is just an accident." She replies in a straightforward manner.

"Really? You aren't just saying that to save yourself from embarrassment in front of the other students?" I ask, not relenting.

Recognize me, dammit! Why won't you recognize me?

Should I make an apprehensive look, the one she claimed she recognized so she knows I'm the one?

I quickly catch myself before I do something stupid. I sound really desperate right now.

Do I even want her to recognize me or for her to get hurt and angry like she made me?

"She chose the wrong place though. The cafeteria of all places where there will be lots of people watching, how embarrassing." Femi cuts from behind me and she glances to look at him and the others at our table. I watch her countenance harden as she takes in the look on their faces before returning her gaze on me.

"I actually wasn't pretending. I just wasn't looking where I was going." She snaps.

Before I can say something else, I hear Wole talk, "Michael, just ignore her. All these girls who are desperate enough to pretend to bump into you to get your attention aren't worth your time."

The guys might be taking it too far. I didn't really mean anything I've said.

But I notice that she's become quiet and is thinking about something.

Is she finally remembering or is she getting annoyed?

"It's true, they are not worthy of my time." I add, still watching her to know her reaction. "And to make sure she doesn't have other ideas about finding ways to talk to me, let me give her a piece of advice."

I lean close to her, surprising her, and she leans back immediately, glaring at me.

I guess she's getting angry. That's good.

But can she not remember how she had leaned towards me to kiss me? Even with this little space between us?

I try to ignore how good she smells as I catch a whiff of the same vanilla scent I had perceived on her that night and I momentarily forgot what I was going to do.

What was I going to do again?

Yeah, give her some advice.

"I'm sorry to ruin your plans, sweetheart, but I'm not interested in you. And in case you are thinking of other ways to get my attention, you will probably be wasting your time because I don't do girls like you. You are a far cry from girls I go out with."

I watch her shake with fury and could practically feel her anger. Her hands are clenched so hard beside her and her formerly blank eyes were now giving me murderous glares.

Did I say too much?

No, she deserves at least this much after making me remember what had actually happened that night. Alone.

I glance around the very quiet cafeteria and find that all eyes were looking at us.

I should probably just go.

Standing straight and feeling a bit remorseful because of the embarrassed look that is now in her eyes, I continue my way to the server.

Maybe I shouldn't have said all that.

I wonder what is going through her mind right now. She probably thinks of me as a jerk and I deserve it.

But really? Why won't she remember what had happened that night?

Why would she think of that asshole as the one who had rescued her? And why won't he correct her when he knows she clearly has a misconception of what had happened that night?

But then, what can be expected from a bastard like him? I had only found out about his true characters after we had befriended Wole later that year, and to say I'm appalled that someone like that is close to Cynthia is an understatement.

But again, why should I care about her? She's the one who believes that disgusting guy is actually the one who saved her that night.

My mind wanders back to the present. Is she still standing where I left her? Is she still trembling in fury?

I feel tempted to turn around and see the look on her face but my mind tells me otherwise.

Don't turn around. Don't you dare turn back.

Someone turns me around just then and I'm staring face to face with the girl I had just talked down to a few moment ago.

"What are you-

A slap to my face cuts whatever it is I'm about to say and I can only stare at her in shock.

My eyes widen in horror at what had just happened and I raise a hand to my stinging cheek, "You slapped me." I announce in a daze.

She smiles smugly before replying.

"That, I did."

***

Well, well, things took a very dramatic turn, didn't it?

What do you think is going to happen from here? Thoughts? I want to know what y'all are thinking.

I want to know what you guys think about Michael and his feelings towards Cynthia.

One more thing ☺️,

I had posted those I feel represents my characters in the last update and some people felt I need to exchange Michael's faceclaim with some other characters'. So, I want you to vote for who you would like and the votes are only valid until the next update. Your vote only counts once, if you like vote twenty times, it's still one vote.

Which characters' face claim do you want as Michael's;

Still Michael's
Wole's
John's
Peter's

Vote by commenting 'this' in front of whoever you want. My vote will also be revealed next update so don't be too excited that your favourite is winning, my vote can change everything.

Please, don't forget to vote, comment and share.

See you at the next update. 

Love you guys ❤