The corner of Phil Coulson's mouth curled in a smile. "You haven't called me that in a long time." His gaze softened as he ran his eyes over you looking for any sign of injury.

He wasn't real. He couldn't be. This was some side effect of the shit they pumped into your veins. You were hallucinating. Or you were dead and he was here to greet you. You were pretty sure you hurt too much to be dead though. Either that or the afterlife sucked.

"I don't..." you started as you took a step in his direction, not trusting your own senses. Your hands trembled. "You died. You bled out while I was on the other side of the world chasing ghosts. You can't be here."

He stepped forward, holstering his weapon before holding his hands out to the side as he closed the space between you. You vaguely registered the callings of all clears ringing through the base and the hallway filling with SHIELD and Avengers alike. They maintained their distance from the little group of you gathered near Strucker. You were vaguely aware of Bucky hovering somewhere close behind you. But for once, he didn't hold all your attention. Not when you were faced with the ghost of your father.

You narrowed your gaze at the man in front of you as you reached out a tentative hand to touch his chest. As soon as you came in contact with a solid form, a broken sound escaped your throat and you threw yourself into his arms. You gripped him tightly and buried your head against his chest. "How are you here? Where have you been? I don't understand."

"It is a very long story which I will explain in detail once we get you home." You nodded and pulled yourself together as you released him. You had a job to do. One more thing to take care of before this was finished.

You turned back to where Strucker waited on his knees. You made a point of not looking at Bucky. You didn't know how you'd begin to explain to him the things you'd done thinking you were saving him. He'll be so disappointed in you when he learns the truth. He moved so he was a warm wall at your back and said your name softly.

You closed your eyes and took a breath. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

One large hand found your waist and gave a gentle squeeze. "What are you sorry for, baby?"

A low, ugly laugh grabbed your attention and your eyes snapped open to find Strucker sneering at you. He was still on his knees, Wade keeping guard behind him with a katana resting against the asshole's neck. Explained why'd he'd been quiet thus far. "She is apologizing for what she became in your absence. She isn't yours anymore, Barnes." Disgust dripped from his lips as he spat out the name. "She is Nicto. She is ours."

Wade smacked Strucker in the back of the head causing his monocle to drop from its usual position and bounce against his chest. "Shut it, Mr. Peanut."

You couldn't help the huff of laughter at the nickname. Only Wade. "What are we doing with him?" Stark asked with a gesture to the prisoner.

"We take him into SHIELD, of course." That was Steve. America's righteous son, always wanting to do the right thing. Sometimes it wasn't that easy.

Your dad cleared his throat. "I'm not sure that's the best idea. We have to consider the possibility that SHIELD is compromised."

The chatter in the hallway quieted as everyone took in the implications of those words. The SHIELD soldiers that were in the room with you shifted uneasily on their feet. "It is. But are you sure you want to keep this off book?" you asked him.

"No, but this entire operation had to be taken off book. None of us are officially here despite the fact this is a major Hydra facility. There have been a lot of blocks across the board. Fury is concerned, as am I. We won't risk losing him." His tone was matter-of-fact and you only caught the concern in it because you knew him so well.

"So we turn over one of the biggest war criminals in years and he what, just disappears behind the red tape?" Clint asked, sounding disgusted.

"Something like that," you answered.

Strucker snorted. "Why do you debate? We all know you will do nothing. You stopped Nicto from killing me. I doubt the rest of you have the fortitude."

You twitched at his use of the hated name. You weren't nobody. Not anymore.

"Oh my god! What is that?!" Wade yelled as he pointed down the hallway. Everyone turned in unison, aiming weapons as they went. It quickly became evident that nothing was there and all eyes turned back to Wade.

He was slipping his katana into its sheath as Strucker's head fell from his shoulders followed by the body slumping to the floor. You blinked at Wade as you arched your brows. "Spontaneous human decapitation. Freaky," he said with a shrug.

***

Since you'd returned to the tower, you'd managed to avoid most everyone, including your soulmate. The only people allowed in your room were your dad, Clint and Natasha. All of them smart enough not to ask questions you didn't want to answer yet. Though they had all made it a point at one time or another to tell you that whatever you had to do to survive wasn't your fault.

They could say whatever they wanted, but they hadn't felt that brief flash of triumph when you killed another of their soldiers, as you took down the target. You were afraid Hydra had gotten so far under your skin you'd never be rid of them.

Days blurred into nights with seldom a word from you. You sought comfort from your family and let them fill the quiet with their own stories. With their pleas for you to eat. To try again to sleep. As if you had any desire to close your eyes and relive your time with Hydra.

Your teammates hovered in your doorway trying to reach you. Your soulmate most of all. But you were content in your semi-isolation. Then they came to a decision. Whether it was an unspoken agreement or they'd had a meeting somewhere away from your hearing you had no idea. You'd been left alone for the day and you'd laid in the silence watching the shadows lengthen as hour grew later.

The door cracked open, drawing your attention. Bucky stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. His gaze ran over you before meeting your eyes with an intensity you couldn't look away from.

"Enough." The word was a plea. Whether it was to end your suffering or his, you had no idea.

"You shouldn't be here." Your voice was hoarse from your days of silence.

He huffed a bitter laugh. "Neither should you. Not like this. Why are you hiding from us? From me?"

You closed your eyes and turned away from him. "I should have been stronger. You deserve someone stronger. I let them get to me."

Fingers softly brushed along the side of your face. You opened your eyes and sucked in a breath at finding Bucky knelt beside the bed watching you carefully. "Surviving isn't a weakness, baby. It's messy and brutal. No one knows that better than me. But you're here. You're alive. That's all that matters."

"You must think I'm stupid to be like this after everything you went through."

"Suffering's not a competition." He grabbed your hand and brought it to his mouth to press a kiss to the back of it. "As long as you come back to me, I don't care about the rest. Everything you did, brought you back to me. I could never hold that against you."

You huffed a laugh and laid a hand against his cheek. "You're too good to me Bucky Barnes."

He grinned. "Yeah?"

You nodded. "Yeah."

"Does that mean I can hold you? I've missed you like crazy."

You tossed the blankets back. He kicked off his shoes and climbed in beside you, instantly pulling you into his body. You buried your face in his chest, pressing a kiss over his heart. You'd missed this. Even when you thought you didn't deserve it, you ached for it.

"I've missed you so much, doll," he whispered against the top of your head.

"I'm sorry, Bucky. I didn't mean to hurt you." And you didn't. It's the last thing you wanted to do but you seemed to keep doing it anyway.

"Sush. There's nothing to forgive. We'll get over it together. But I'm not letting you out of my sight for awhile so you better get used to having me as a shadow."

You smiled and glanced up at him. "Tell me something, Barnes, when's the last time you've been on a farm?"

"Um...Seventy years give or take a decade. Why?" Curiosity danced in his eyes.

"I think it's time I went home."