They were wrong.

You weren't there. Oh, you had been at some point. Your blood splashed around the lab and one of the training rooms was proof of that, but you were long gone by the time they arrived at the base.

A contingent of lesser Hydra fodder had been left to greet them, slow them down. Tony and his AI were combing through the files looking for some indication of where they had taken you while the rest of them just waited.

Bucky had gone back to not speaking other than to convey necessary information about new injuries and your emotional state. He stayed buried in your bond, forcing himself to feel the extent of your every feeling. It was the least he could do, a punishment far less than he deserved. And there in the midst of his teammates, his friends, his family, it was Wade that realized what he was doing.

"She let them capture her to protect you," the mercenary said, announcing his presence as he stepped into the room where Bucky was pummeling a punching bag.

Guilt stabbed through him and he did his best to push past it. "I'm aware."

"That doesn't make it your fault."

Bucky darted a glance to your best friend. Wade leaned against the wall, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. A bulky sweater hung loose on his frame. "Leave it, Wilson."

Wade pursed his lips. "No. I don't think I will. There's something you need to understand about our princess. She's expendable."

"Excuse me?" The tone was quiet, deadly, daring the merc to repeat what he'd just said.

"Easy, buttercup." He held up his hands in a gesture of innocence. "That's her opinion. Not mine."

Bucky growled in annoyance.

Wade sighed. "Just listen, okay? She will place herself at risk to save anyone she deems worthy of it. If she gets injured in the act, well that's just the price to be paid. But if she cares about you? If you're lucky enough to be considered hers? She would burn the world down for you."

He ran a hand over his head. "Look, what I'm trying to say is this was her choice. She decided you were worth more than her and she acted accordingly. And you need to face the possibility that she may do it again."

Bucky's brow furrowed. "What are you trying to say, Wade? What do you know?"

The merc licked his lips. "I'm just saying that her choices are just that. Her choices. You can't take on the blame for that. Nothing she does is your fault. Say for instance, she decided to work for Hydra because they threatened her family. That wouldn't be on you. She wouldn't want you to blame yourself."

Before Wade took his next breath, Bucky slammed him against the wall and held him in place with an arm across his throat. "Speak, Wilson."

"Okay, okay." Wade gripped the arm holding him place, but didn't try to get away. He knew it was pointless. "There's been some chatter. Word is Nicto is active again. Hydra is advertising her services."

Bucky backed away as fear flooded through him, his eyes wide in disbelief. "No. She wouldn't."

Wade's features contorted into a pained expression. "She may not have a choice, Barnes. Just because they couldn't break her before doesn't mean they didn't succeed this time. She's the toughest woman I know but we need to consider the possibility that she's not herself anymore."

Bucky's jaw ached as he clenched his teeth. He dropped his head and linked his hands together on the back of his neck. He didn't want to think about the possibility that you were Hydra's. That he'd lost you. He'd purposefully been avoiding thoughts of what it meant that the only feeling he'd been picking up from you recently was anger. Waves of it in varying degrees but it was constant. So strong it seemed to be overwhelming anything else you may have been feeling.

A hand dropped on his shoulder and he jerked away. "Don't." He couldn't stand to be comforted right now. He didn't deserve it as long as you were gone.

***

You'd been pissed since you woke up in the lab. Well, that wasn't precisely true. At first you were incredibly relieved to find you were still yourself. In fact, you couldn't figure out what the hell they'd done to you. Maybe it had been a scare tactic. You wouldn't put it past Strucker in the least.

"Ah, she wakes." Speak of the devil.

"I am sure you are wondering what improvements we made while you slept." He held up a small remote with three buttons before slipping it back into his pocket.

You frowned in confusion.

"You see, as much as I would like to believe what you say, I'm afraid I don't trust you. You have betrayed us before, after all. So, some assurance of your compliance was required." His lips twisted into a sneer as he stared down at you.

Your hands itched to curl around his throat. "Spit it out, Stucker."

His gaze turned hard. "Perhaps a demonstration is in order." He slipped a hand into the pocket where he'd placed the remote.

A moment later lightning shot through your brain. As your entire focus became your pain, you twitched and pulled against your restraints. The pain stopped as suddenly as it came though ghosts of it continued to travel through your body causing you to continue twitching.

"You will comply or you will suffer. And if you resist despite this, you will die." He pulled the remote out to show you again and pressed on the bottom button causing a red light to flash. "All I have to do is hold this button for ten seconds and the chip we put in your brain will explode."

Your heart raced as he released the button at the last second. You didn't want to die but maybe that would be the better option. Not that Strucker would make it that easy.

To prove your point, he leaned forward so he could speak right into your ear. "And should you prove uncooperative enough that I am forced to kill you, I will detonate the chip that remains in your lover's brain."

You froze. No. That was a lie. It had to be.

Strucker straightened and stepped away from the table to put some space between you. "You think I lie. That if there was a chip in Soldat's brain we would have already activated it. Pierce does not wish to do so until we are certain he can not be returned to our ranks. But things happen."

His eyes studied you for a moment. "Rest assured, Nicto. If you fall, so does Soldat."

Your training began the next day. At first, you attempted to show mercy, to keep from killing or maiming the others you fought against. Every time you did, Strucker fried your brain. The bastard.

So, you forced yourself to turn into the soldier they wanted you to be. You performed as ordered. You broke bones, knocked them out, slit throats, put bullets into brains. You comforted yourself with the knowledge that unlike you, most of them were mindless killing machines. The ones that weren't, wanted to be here. They volunteered to be part of Hydra's ranks. Every death or dismemberment was one less soldier killing for Hydra.

And when you weren't training, you were plotting a way to get that damned remote and escape. Strucker taunted you with it enough, you always knew right where it was. But then he'd just kill Bucky. Gods, you had no idea how you getting out of this mess with both you and your soulmate breathing.

You'd finished another day of mindless fighting and were sitting in the lab while they drew blood and checked your vitals. At least the doctor working on you today was one of the decent ones. She didn't inflict pain just to do it and she kept up mindless chatter as she worked as if she was trying to make you forget where you were.

When Strucker walked in the room both of you froze. He smirked before dismissing the two techs that had been in the room with you. They hurried out the door.

"How is our asset, doctor?" he asked.

She cleared her throat. "All vitals are within normal levels. The last labs showed promise. We'll have the new numbers tomorrow."

"Very good. You do your job very well, Dr. Gannon. You are a true asset to Hydra." He pulled a pistol from his belt and handed it to you.

You took it automatically and frowned at him, your brow furrowed.

"Kill her," he ordered.

You arched a brow but didn't question him. You were too used to Hydra's fucked up games to be that surprised.

"What?" The doctor whimpered. Her gaze moved from Strucker to you. "Please don't. My daughter."

You glanced at the picture of the girl pinned to her workstation and clenched your teeth. You didn't want to do this. This wasn't a soldier hell bent on hurting you. This was a mother with a little girl waiting for her to come home. Ruby. The girl's name was Ruby, you remembered.

You closed your eyes as she continued to plead with both you and your master. You forced yourself to remember that this was also one of the doctors that injected your veins full of chemicals that burned you from the inside out. That tortured you in the name of science. That volunteered to work for the bad guys. The fact that she was friendlier when she did it didn't make any difference.

"Now, Nicto."

In one smooth motion you opened your eyes, raised the gun, and fired.