Okay, listen. I honestly didn't mean to kill him.

Before you judge me, please try to understand my situation. It was 7am on a Saturday. I had like five essays due in for the Monday. I was in a horribly bad mood. And this was like the fifth time that he had broken into my room to talk to me about my future career as a ballet dancer.

I don't even like ballet.

And it's not like this god was related to me at all. He didn't really have any business poking his godly nose in my future career when I'm trying to get some well-deserved sleep. He wasn't even my career advisor or anything. As far as I can tell, he was just this random god who really liked ballet.

"I'm just saying," he continued, waving his hands in the air dramatically. "You have the talent, and the flexibility. Why not work with it?"

I peeled my face reluctantly away from my pillow. "How do you keep getting into my house?"

Even as my eyes were still adjusting to the sunlight, I could feel him glaring at me. "You insult me, puny mortal! I am a god! I am omnipotent! I can do anything!" He leaned back into my beanbag, wiggling around to get more comfortable. "But to tell you the truth, your mother keeps letting me in. Delightful woman! She told me she liked my leg warmers."

I groaned. My mum had drilled it into me ever since I was small that it was important to be nice to gods and goddesses in case they zap you into oblivion. Still, I think that inviting one in for breakfast is going a bit far. Especially one as annoying as this one.

"You've got the shoes," he rambled on. "And the tutu! What are you waiting for?"

"The tutu is for cosplaying purposes only," I told him through gritted teeth. "And I quit ballet nine years ago. The shoes are like a million sizes too small."

"Do not let the size of your gigantic feet prevent you from pursuing your dream, child!"

"Excuse me?"

"Just picture it. It will be truly magnificent! A theatre crowded with adoring fans, cheering as you bring the stage to life with your flawless tour en l'air!"

"Tour on what? Listen, I'm terrible at ballet. That was partly why I quit in the first place!"

"Well, yes, but that was because your teacher was incompetent. Don't worry, I obliterated her."

I choked on air. "You what?"

"With the right mentor to guide you towards greatness, think of all that you could achieve!"

I moaned miserably into my duvet and reluctantly sat up, accepting the fact that  I probably wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep until he was gone. "What is your deal with ballet?"

The god looked offended. "I am the Greek god of ballet. I have sworn an sacred oath to guide all aspiring dancers towards their dream and push them towards success! No matter what the cost!"

"There is no Greek god of ballet. You're making that up!"

"Impertinence! How dare you accuse me of such lies! The Greek gods are the most honest deities ever to rule over the earth! Have you met Hades? He's the chillest dude I know."

"Why couldn't I at least have been visited by a useful god?" I grumbled under my breath. "Like the god of completing essays really fast?"

"I believe you are referring to Alexander Hamilton," the god said stiffly. "Unfortunately, he is currently busy flirting with John Laurens. Now, about the ballet shoes."

"I don't even know where they are!"

"Well, really! Mortals these days! It's a very good thing that ballet dancers don't have to be smart. They're under your bed, exactly where you left them eight years, ten months and five days ago."

"Obviously," I muttered.

My bad mood was getting more spectacularly awful by the second, but I figured that the quicker I did what he wanted, the quicker he'd leave me alone. I rolled out of bed and started rummaging through the piles of shoe boxes that we never bothered to throw out. After throwing aside several pairs of old school shoes, I finally unearthed... A tiny, battered pair of tap shoes.

The god let out an unholy shriek that made my ears ring. He shot away from me to the other side of the room.

"Oh, what's the problem now?"

His eyes burned with the godly fires of fury, but he didn't move any closer. "Remove those tap shoes from my sight this instant! Tap dancing is the dancing of cowards and miscreants. Never before have I met a pure, untainted soul who wears tap shoes upon their feet!"

I looked at the tap shoes, which were tied with sparkly pink ribbons. "I-"

"Be gone, you foul instruments of Tartarus!" the god hissed at the tap shoes.

"I thought you were supposed to be the god of dancing?"

He gave another enraged screech. "You dare continue to insult me? I am the god of ballet, a noble art of heroes and warriors! The nine Muses sing of the greatness and elegance of ballet! I would never associate with such a crude, un-sacred sport such as tap dancing or football! I despise even the sound of tap shoes!"

"I actually used to like tap dancing."

His godly form begins to glow golden with rage. "You WHAT? You disobedient swine! You plague upon the earth! You traitor of all that is pure and good! How could you betray me in this way? May the power of Zeus and Shakespeare forever curse you!"

I was starting to get a headache, and I really wasn't in the mood to hear a list of threats and curses from the god of tutus. So, seeing as I couldn't think of a good argument to what he had just said, I just threw the tap shoes in his direction as hard as he could.

I wasn't expecting anything bad to happen, except perhaps a godly punishment for my insolence. Instead, the shoes passed straight through his glowing form, and he dissolved into golden light before another infuriating word could leave his lips.

I blinked, then said the one deep, intelligent sentence that could perfectly sum up all my thoughts and emotions at that exact moment.

"Oops."

There was no answer. I don't really know what I'd been expecting. Lord Ballet God Guy was definitely gone.

Of course, I went across the room to check anyway. Not a trace of him left. He was just... Gone. All the was left were the sparkly pink tap shoes, lying in an innocent heap on the carpet.

I won't pretend that I hadn't been fantasizing about this happening since the second I woke up, but now that I was actually in the situation I discovered that it wasn't exactly ideal.

On another note, how exactly had I managed to do that? What, this god is immortal and all-powerful and yet he gets defeated by a pair of tap shoes?

Maybe I shouldn't have given up tap dancing. Apparently it's a pretty powerful sport.

I sighed, got up and stuck my head out of my bedroom door.

"Um, Mum? I... I think I just killed a god."

Honestly? I... I don't even know what this is. The Riordan-esque, disastrous product of sleep-deprivation and boredom, probably. But if it made you smile at any point then I guess I did something right.

Guess I just needed a small break from writing deep, angsty stuff! Weird nonsense-writing is good for the soul.

Thank you to my amazing friends who helped my creative process by acting the story out in my bedroom. There was a lot of screaming and it was glorious.

Toodles, Bex x