My words - as I had hoped - managed to make me move away from my home and to the British colonies in America. Lovely! I realised that it was pretty weird over there and was like, "Hmmm, I feel like changing time. Let's declare war on Britain."

After repeating myself for God knows how many times, my boyfriend, John, and I managed to start a war. I guess my friends Baguette and Drycleaners helped too. Anyway, then war began and I wanted to murder some people.

But then my dad said no, write letters for me. So, I guess I gotta do that. Fortunately, I decided to have a wife after that. I was going to marry her sister, but I think my wife was the right choice. Or at least I did back then. Anyway, basically my dad kept