How long has it been? Whenever I see a cat I wonder if you have got one already.... Have you?

There isn't one day that I don't think about you... that I stop to think about my decision...

....Was it even my decision?

You said it wasn't my fault. What if it were?... Weren't my words too straight? People around me say it wasn't... But how would they know? ....

Sometimes I was rude...

Did they hurt more than helped? Wouldn't they harm you now?

When I was spontaneous... When I held your hand... Did your heart beat faster?... I'm sorry mine didn't... I wish it did... But your hand was warm, like a hug from a dear friend. I'm sorry I failed you in so many ways...

When you said those words, you cried on my shoulder... I hugged you tight... We had a snack and I gave you chocolate.. we smiled... Did you fake that smile? Was I too naive to notice? Should I have stepped back earlier?should I have never met you? Would it have happened if I wasn't your friend?...

I made myself into your heart as a dear friend and I didn't even know... People told me, and I didn't believe it

You said I didn't even want to know...

I did. I do. I will. Will I believe if I ever hear it?

Moreover ...

...should I? When my words broke hell free? When my words just torn you apart?
...

You were right... I might not know what means to be alone... To feel lonely... not like you... But I wish I did, so I could understand what you felt...

Sorry... I thought I did.... Clearly, I was wrong...

You might know I don't hate many things... But I do hate this feeling... It made me cry so many times, and made you ran away from everything you had conquered...

I wanted scream with you... Then hug you... But I can't be this person, can I? Do I want to be this person?

Idk...