Second chapter I've uploaded today so make sure you've read the last one. Decided to upload this one because
1) ONYX and Lethal are now caught up with each other
2) This is my favorite ONYX chapter
3) I can do what I want

For the next few days, I worked alongside Ronin in his garden.

I apologized for the roses I hurled over, but Ronin brushed it off, and said he didn't much care for roses anyways, and I was inclined to agree. He steered me clear of any more red flowers, and we spent the days kneeled over sunflowers, daises, and yellow poppies.

Wiping a bead of sweat off of my forehead, I patted the soil gently around the bright yellow flower, coating the gardening gloves in dirt in the process. My jeans also were stained with dirt on my kneecaps from all of the hours spent kneeling over the plots of plants.

Ronin finished putting his own flower in the ground next to it, spraying it lightly with water. "You're excellent with flowers, Onyx," Ronin praised, inspecting the ones I planted. "It's nice having someone here to help with the gardening."

I shrug. "You seem to have built a fine garden already."

He stands up, taking off his gloves and looking around the vast gardens that surround us. "Didn't have any interest in gardening until I met my mate. You would have loved her," He said wistfully, his eyes glazing over at he looked down at the freshly planted flowers.

He told me a few days ago about his mate, who was murdered years before he met Finn. The story was similar- too similar- to Grey's, and it sent me into hysterics, which freaked Ronin out, who then called Finn, who then also freaked out and panicked. Ronin came to the porch later that night to apologize, and I apologized for being so sensitive. He had said he was the same way once his mate died, and the mere sight of flowers sent him into a rage at first.

I had asked why he chose to garden if the flowers reminded him of her death, and he only corrected my statement by saying: "They stopped reminding me of her death, and started reminding me of her."

His statement perplexed me, as I didn't understand how he could separate his mate and her death. With Greyson, his death was so closely linked to my memories of him, any flashbacks sent me spiraling.

"Sorry," Ronin apologized after noticing me zone out. Finn's friends had begun to notice when I was on the brink of collapse, and often tried to steer away from whatever memories it brought up. I felt guilty, impossibly guilty for the burden I became to them, and felt even more guilty when they treated me with extreme kindness. "I shouldn't have brought her up."

I smile slightly, pushing down my nausea. "It's okay. She sounds lovely."

Ronin's face lights up. "She was. You should have seen the way that she would piss off Dean. She was always the first to call him out on whatever dumb idea he had, or whatever lewd joke he made. I've never seen someone get under Dean's skin like that, until Finn found us and we met Kallista."

Kallista, Finn's spitfire of a sister, always eager to argue or fight with Dean. During their arguments, Ronin always stared at Kallista in admiration, and I suspected he had a thing for her. "Is that why you like Kallista?" I ask softly, curiously.

His eyebrows raise. "You think I love her?" He questions, surprised.

I shrug. "I thought you might have a thing for her."

Ronin sighs, folding the gloves neatly as we walk to the outdoor sink. "I like her a lot, and besides Dean, she's probably the other person closest to me, but not like that. I couldn't... not after April," He said his deceased mate's name with anguish. "You have to understand, Onyx... My other half perished after I had already fallen in love with her. There is no one in the world who could compare to her, who could light up my life like she did. Not Kallista, not anyone."

His words hit me like a brick. I longed for a love like that, and now that I want to murder my mate, I would never get it. "Aren't you lonely?" I ask quietly as we wash the dirt off of our hands and arms.

He looks away. "In some ways. But the loneliness is better than being with someone who I wouldn't love. And there just isn't enough love left in my heart for anyone but April."

I swallow, drying my hands off. My heart broke for Ronin, the most compassionate person I have ever met, condemning himself to a lifetime alone. I wondered if I was doomed to a similar fate.

"Did you love Thane?" Ronin asks suddenly as we walk past the poppies, and I abruptly stop walking, and he stops with me.

I consider his words, staring at the flowers. "No," I answer finally. "I may have if we spent more time together." I bend over, touching one of the yellow petals, feeling the smoothness of it and letting it soothe me. "He was handsome. Charming, disarmingly so," I reluctantly admit. He was the most charming man I had ever met, though the sample size was low enough as it were. He was poised, calm, and always knew what to say to people, making him extremely likable to everyone. I'm not sure anyone had a single negative thing to say about him.

"But I never felt like I knew him," I continue with the sudden realization. "Slept next to him for months and I felt like I didn't know the first thing about him. At first, I thought he was just keeping his distance because he was worried to get close in case if I lost the Challenge. But even after, he was always gone, claiming he had work or whatever. I think he was afraid the mask would drop."

"The mask?" Ronin asks, bending down next to me.

I nod numbly. "I didn't realize until too late that his kindness was a mask for who he really is. You... you should have seen his face after he killed Grey," I shuddered at the memory, chills running through my body, despite the intense sunlight beating down on us. "I've never seen someone so... cold. After he... did it, he looked... happy. Like it was a relief for him," I swallow the bile rising in my throat at the memory.

I had only ever seen one other person look that stoic and possibly happy after killing: Ares.

"Finn isn't like that you know," Ronin says quietly after a moment. "His kindness- it's genuine. The mask you saw on Thane... You won't find it on Finn. He really cares for you."

I ignore that statement. The last thing I wanted to think about was Finn's feelings for me, especially when we were able to coexist as "friends", if you could even call it that.

Ronin continues, "I can't imagine what it was like to go through that with Thane, someone you thought you would be spending the rest of your life with. I saw the look on your face with I told you about April," He says gently. "But it doesn't have to be like that with you. Finn would be everything Thane wasn't. Not a day would go by where you didn't feel loved."

My hands start shaking. "Stop," I say harshly, getting up from off of the ground and walking away, leaving him leaning over the poppies.

I couldn't ever think about Finn that way. My mate had betrayed me in the worst way possible, and despite Finn's hospitality, I would never be able to open myself up to anyone, not ever again.

Thane used my feelings for Greyson against me in the worst possible way. He knew that killing Grey would hurt me, and that's why he did it. The punishment that continues to punish.

I walked out of the garden, going away from the house and into the woods. I couldn't get the picture of Thane's face after he killed Grey out of my head.

You fight the Darkness instead of using it.

A branch underneath my foot tripped me while I was distracted from the flashback, and I fell to the ground, my head colliding with the floor of the forest.

I could see Greyson's corpse a few feet away, his body mangled and bloody. I reached out for him, I had to help him.

His eyes turned to me, and they were completely white. "Help me, Onyx," He gasped, grabbing the gaping hole in his chest, blood covering his hands.

Scrambling off of the ground, I stumbled to Greyson, my vision blurred. I could faintly feel blood dripping down the side of my face.

Suddenly there were two Greysons, both bloody and pleading for me to hurry. I took shaky steps forward, until I collided into a tree.

My ears started ringing as blood ran down my face, obscuring my vision. My head was spinning, and as a reflex, I threw up.

When I picked my head back up, Greyson was gone. I frowned. "Greyson?" I called out, swiveling my head to look for him. He couldn't have gone far, not when he was that injured.

Leaves crunched from behind me. I turned around and exhaled in relief when I saw Grey. "Greyson, thank God," I said, throwing my arms around him. He was no longer bloodied, his clothes untattered and clean.

Greyson was calm, "Onyx, I'm not-"

"We have to go," I interrupted him, pulling away to grab his wrist. "Thane could still be around, we have to get you to Finn before he sees you."

Grey was resistant to me tugging, and he stayed rooted to the ground. "What are you doing, Grey?" I frantically pulled on his wrist, but he didn't budge. "We have to go, now, or Thane will kill you!"

He looked at me sadly, his hazel eyes filled with pain. For some reason, they looked green today, no flecks of brown. "Onyx, I'm not Greyson."

I laugh. "Now isn't the time for pranks, Grey. We have to get out of here. Don't worry, Finn will take care of you, I promise Thane won't find you. Finn can protect you."

Grey grabs my hand gently. "Onyx... I am Finn."

I shake my head slowly. "No, no," I whisper. Grey's face contorts, and suddenly Finn is the one holding my hand.

"Where did he go?" I ask, frantically looking around. "He was just here, he..."

Finn grabs the side of my face, forcing me to stare into his green eyes. He wipes some of the blood off of my face with his hand. "You hit your head," he mutters. "We have to take you to Ronin."

My head is still spinning. "But Grey-"

"Onyx, Greyson is dead," Finn says gently, his gaze pained. "He died over a week ago. You hit your head, you're hallucinating."

My vision is blurry, and I stumble. Finn catches me, swooping me up into his arms. The abrupt motion makes my nausea amplify tenfold. Finn swears, and holds me to the side while I throw up all over the ground, holding my hair back as he does so.

When I'm done, Finn swiftly walks us back to his home, carefully holding me so the jostling wouldn't make me ill.

"He's really gone, isn't he?" I ask quietly, my heart squeezing.

He looks down at me in sympathy. "I'm so sorry, Onyx," he says as he squeezes me tighter.

I bury my face into his chest as uncontrollable sobs wrack my body.

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