You can definitely guess that I've been moping around in my room all day every day since I got home. We took the flight back to California. As I'm lying on my bed, the sheets over my head, I look down and notice a splotch of blood on my sheet. I tear up, remembering when Anthony took my virginity on this bed. Why can't I smell him anymore? It hurts so bad, it just absolutely stings thinking about it.

I get off, angrily ripping the duvet and sheets off my bed, throwing them into the wash. This is the most amount of energy I've had since I left Anthony, or Anthony leaving me. I still haven't figured it out yet, maybe it was neither, for that fact.

I put the sheets in the dryer once they finish washing and eventually throw them back on my bed once they're all ready, after a while. I want that patch of blood gone, I don't want to see it every again and be reminded that the love of my life, worse, my first ever love, is gone.

I lie back down on my bed, depressed as ever. Mom considers seeing a therapist for my problems, but as if I'm bothered to sit opposite somebody with a pen in their hand and a stupid notebook as they ask me questions back and fourth; what I want is a friend, a human touch.

"Wren," Mom said, outside my room.

I don't answer out of exhaustion from my body, so she invites herself in and said, "We're moving back to San Diego a week or so after you go back to school from summer break. Just thought you should know. So, you can say goodbye to your friends."

If I had any anymore.

I nod my head, playing with the quilt thread. "May I ask why?"

"I thought we could continue somewhere fresh. And, after all, you were born in San Diego. This may give you a better start after...what's happened."

Mom and Dad try to refrain from talking about it, as they know it hurts me. But I don't care, as if I'm not already broken inside.

"Alright," I said.

She begins making her way out, then said, "Oh, um, do you need anything?"

Anthony would be nice.

"No."

"Alright." She sighs, closing my door.

I know they wish I would stop glooming all over the place, as if this house isn't miserable enough to me, but I truly don't know what to do. I'm at a loss for words as I am for hope.

♬

I walk downstairs, my hair all untangled and not brushed like it had been since I got back, in my grey sweatpants and oversized shirt without any shoes, and see a cake on the table, with the candles '1' and '7' on it.

"Chocolate, you're favorite," Mom said, smiling.

"What's all this?" I ask, sitting at the counter. "You realise it is July, right?" Although the chocolate swirls with strawberries around them do look good.

I sigh; Anthony had a strawberry cake for me. Had it made. With my name on it, too. He also called me strawberry shortcake. Because I'm short.

"Well, seeing as how we missed your birthday, we want to make up for it. And, we thought we'd have one more celebration before we leave the house," she says.

I look over at Dad who is smiling as well; this is the first time their faces have shined this brightly since my departure.

"Make a wish," he said.

I blew out the candles, not bothering to wish for anything. Maybe Anthony, in my heart though. They both clap, and I stare at the ground.

"Well come on, let's cut some cake," said Mom, taking out a knife.

"Oh, I'll be right back with your present," said Dad.

"How could you forget Neil?" Mom asked with a chuckle.

"I almost did," he responded.

"Um, Mom."

"Yes, sweetheart?"

Here come the tears again.

"Did I...um, did I really disgrace God?"

She walks over to me and hugs me, rubbing my back in circles, trying to calm my crying down.

"No, you didn't. Wren, It was horrible how I said that. He would never be as angry with you as I did. I'm so sorry, I felt the shame wash over me, I'm no better, and you're right, the way you feel. I can understand, because I was once like you. Please just know it was out of love. Anthony is older honey, he's been with a galore of women. You should understand that and know there's something better out there waiting for you. You are not a habit to a man, you are a lifestyle."

I nod my head, wiping my tears away.

"Uh huh."

Dad comes in, handing me a small box.

"Happy birthday," he said.

I open it up, and it's a little golden charm bracelet.

"Thank you Dad, it's beautiful, I'll wear it right now," I said, putting it on. It actually looks nice.

Although nothing can make me smile at this point, and nothing has since what feels like forever, I'm trying to make the most of everything I have. If only I can hold on until tomorrow.

Something told me to pray, and I did.