Each day, having been longer not speaking to Anthony kills me more and more. I wish he would call, but then I remember he can't. He hasn't even tried sneaking in my window. Dad really done it this time.

Sometimes, I don't even know where I stand in the relationship I have with Mom. One day, we have a disagreement, and then the next day we're smiling and laughing, and finally, we have another outburst. I never had a steady relationship with her to begin with anyway, but right now I just wish I could fix it.

She likes to discuss with Dad on my 'progress' like it's the only real bond they have at all. Am I back to my old self? Do I look depressed? Am I studying and eating right? The truth is, there is no "old" or "normal self." We are all completely normal in our fluctuating day to day lives.

We are all human beings with feelings changing all the time. I don't know how you can define someone based on what appears to be their default settings. I just don't see it happening. All these observations they're making about me seem inaccurate. And of course, I haven't tried talking to them about it.

"Should we do something?" Mom asks.

Dad sighs loudly. "What is there to do? She's made her choice. Until she realizes that she doesn't need this guy, then it doesn't matter."

"He hasn't tried calling, has he?"

"Not since I told him off, thankfully."

"Don't you think there is more we could do? Maybe she needs counseling, or, I really think we should report this. It's not right what he did; the man is twenty-seven."

"I know, I know," Dad said with a sigh.

"Neil," Mom says, standing before Dad who's sitting on the couch, rubbing his shoulders, "I reckon this is a battle she needs to fight within herself. It's just a crush. No matter how much you scare the guy off, it'll only make things worse. It hurts her. You understand where I'm coming from?"

"Sure, darling."

They kiss. And I'm left wondering - doesn't she remember what it's like to be young and in love? Or at least have a crush. I can't imagine her having the same feelings for Dad as I do for Anthony. The thought is out of my reach, unable to go into the mind of my mother as we mostly think unalike, how she possibly could've shared the same desires I have, long, long ago. It's unimaginable to me.

The next thing she said threw me off, confused me, and i certainly wasn't ready for it.

"Neil, you ever wonder what ever would've happened...had we waited until marriage?"