stan was interested, to say the least. he'd heard the music was good. and the artist was good, too, he'd been told. mostly it was eddie who'd told him that, but he was a bit skeptical because eddie had always liked softer music. he himself was more into soft rock, but eddie had made him promise he would listen to it. much as he hated it, he couldn't refuse eddie. richie, maybe, especially because it would piss him off, but not eddie.

he sighed, pressing shuffle on the artist's spotify and leaning against the wall. something was on his mind, but he couldn't tell exactly what. it just felt like something was missing. it was like he almost had it, and maybe he did - but whatever it was, it wasn't his completely.

he had no way to explain it. it was just there. something about being around his friends made him happy at school and just made him feel alone the rest of the time. it happened more around one friend in particular, although he wasn't sure why. he was just... happy.

which was odd, since that one friend was the one who annoyed him above all the rest.

it wasn't that the friend was a bad friend, but sometimes he could just get on his nerves. he talked so fucking much and always had to have some dumb response to everything. stan didn't dislike him in the least, but sometimes he would be a bit too much to handle.

stan shook his head, fixing his hair subconsciously as he let his concentration drift back to the song.

"oh, our lives don't collide, i'm aware of this

the differences and impulses and your obsession with

the little things, you like stick, and i like aerosol

i don't give a fuck, i'm not giving up, i still want it all"

a small breath slipped from his mouth as his entire world came crashing down. he knew it. he knew what it was. he knew what he was feeling.

"only fools fall for you, only fools

only fools do what i do, only fools fall

only fools fall for you, only fools

only fools do what i do, only fools fall"

a fool. that's what he was. a god damned fool. what sort of fucking fool would fall in love with his best friend?

he slumped against the wall, sliding until he was resting on the floor. he hugged his knees to his chest, silent tears running down his face. how could he have done this to himself?

"i see swimming pools and living rooms and aeroplanes

i see a little house on the hill and children's names

i see quiet nights poured over ice and tanqueray

but everything is shattering and it's my mistake"

of all the things he could've done, of all the stupid mistakes he could've made, it just had to be that. he had to fall in love with his best friend in the entire fucking world (besides his other friends, of course).

the one person who could irritate him beyond words and yet still make him want to smile. the one person he would trust with anything. the one person who would call him stupid for liking something but still show his support for it because he knew how happy it made him.

the one person who would make fun of him for bird watching but still buy him new binoculars and bird guides and tell him of the new bird watching spots he could go whenever he saw them.

richie.

"only fools fall for you, only fools

only fools do what i do, only fools fall"

the tears fell faster then. he pulled his knees up to his face and wrapped his arms around his legs as his body began to shake with the force of his sobs.

he was in love with richie.

he was in love with richie.

he was in love with richie.

and it hurt like hell to realize.