Hypnotized by the droplets of water that clung to his silver hair, my eyes focused on the tiny wet beads. Each droplet shimmered like a diamond in the moonlight, and his eyes peered at me through those diamond-encrusted curtains. 

Zane cleared his throat. That noise was all it took to release me from the daze. Then, I realized I was still in his arms, staring at him. My hands immediately went to his chest. But instead of pushing myself off of him, my fingers grazed every hard muscle tracing the outlines, and I was back to staring, charmed by the beauty of a vampire. That was until I felt his chest flex underneath the palm of my hand.

"Did you hit your head?" he asked.

"What? No!" I yelled, this time pushing myself from the vampire and falling to the ground. 

I could never let him know the inadmissible thoughts that invaded my mind. The idea that I, a firebird, was comfortable in the arms of a vampire. 

"Glad you're okay, firebird." He chuckled. 

His voice was dry and rough. It must have been from the smoke. I rose to my feet, wiping away the dirt I may have collected from my dramatic reaction though it was ultimately useless.

"Thanks for the catch, Vamp." 

What did I say? I was so flustered that my brain malfunctioned, and the embarrassing words slipped out. I shook my head when I saw the slight smile on his face. I'm sure he enjoyed the fact that I was embarrassed and felt exposed. Any enemy of mine would.

"Let's get you home," he said. But the only place that ever felt like home stood right in front of me, which was terrifying.

I quickly slid into the red car's passenger side, buckling up my seatbelt. As soon as my head hit the headrest, I shut my eyes. Though I was tired, I knew I wouldn't fall asleep. Those moments were rare. So why did I not remember the ride back to the tiny shack until we were parked out front?

"Ember? Hey, we're back," his soft voice called out. 

I felt little light sparks on my shoulder as Zane slightly shook me awake. I did fall asleep after all. My eyes slowly opened, trying to focus on my surroundings. 

"Hmm?" 

"Come on," Zane said, unbuckling my seatbelt.

"Oh, um, I got it."  

I placed my hand over his and tried to fumble with the buckle but tangled my fingers with his instead. Electricity shot up my arm, forcing me to give up. When I was freed from the seatbelt that trapped me, I jumped out of the car and went to the door. He was only a step behind.

"Ember, let's talk," Zane said.

"Talk about what?" 

I was too exhausted and too confused. If this were about the project, tonight would not be the night. My thoughts would have to be put together before I could think about working on the project.

"I won't stay long, I promise."

"Vampires make horrible promises."

"Fair point but trust me just this once." 

The look in his eyes was something I had never seen before. A feeling that I would not be able to explain. Was it pleading or perhaps guilt? Maybe this was the first time I saw trust in the eyes of another. 

"It's not like I have to invite you in anyway," I said and walked through the door, leaving it open for him. 

I heard the soft click of the door shutting as I sat on the worn-out couch. I never looked up as I felt the dip in the cushion beside me. The closeness of this vampire no longer made me angry; he now made me nervous. No, it was more than that. He petrified me. 

I was afraid of every movement he made. Every slight tingle when he barely touched me. But most of all, I was scared of every word he could produce out of those red lips. 

After forgetting I still had it on, I removed the mask from my face. I was making myself as comfortable as possible for whatever this undead vampire had to tell me. 

"Woah, you have gray streaks on your face," Zane said. 

I had completely forgotten I had cried when the water hit me, causing my flesh to burn. The mask must have shielded it. I should have left it on. 

"It must be ash from the fire." I lied trying to wipe away the hardened grey streaks; he was not about to know I cried. At least by now, I was dry enough that my wounds had healed.

"Where do you keep your towels?"

"Upstairs, in the closet by the bathroom." 

The next thing I knew, Zane left only to return with a hot wet hand towel handing it to me. This was the last thing I expected from Zane, but so was saving me. And he did both in one night.

"Thanks," I said. I did not miss it when he immediately clasped his hand with the other, shielding it from my eyes. Did the hot water hurt him? 

As he watched me clean my face, an audible sigh slipped out of his mouth like he was about to say something he would not enjoy.

"Let's end this," Zane choked out. 

End this? End what, exactly? Was he ending our partnership? We never had a relationship, friendship, or anything besides lab partners.

"You found another partner for the project?" I asked. He tilted his head at me. Maybe he found my question as confusing as I saw his statement.

"No. I was talking about our contract."

"Our contract?"

"Yeah, let's end it," he said, pulling out our signed contract that was neatly folded away in the inside pocket of his jacket.

"But why?" I questioned him. 

For some reason, I was sad. Did this mean I had to give him his phone back? Was this over? For the first time, the excitement I now felt about the once-dreaded deal was ripped away from me as soon as it began.

Again, the vampire tilted his head at me, confused about why I would question him about ending a contract that had once only brought me misery.

"We have both broken it. Keep the phone. Carry it if you want to or let it die and leave it at home. Give the number to your friends. It's your gift," Zane said. 

"This doesn't mean you can put your hands on me."

"Of course, I won't. I'm just bored and feel like ending the contract, firebird," he said, ripping the contract in two. With the sound of the paper tearing, I felt my heart doing the same. He ran a hand through his silver bangs. His eyes focused everywhere else in the room but on me. So that was it. He was bored.

"Fine. You can go now if that's all you needed to say."

Zane was quick to turn toward me. He reached for my hand, then quickly returned it to his lap, leaving it there. I'm sure he didn't want me to see his hurt hand from the hot water.

"That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

 Again, a frustrated hand ran through his hair. "I'm not used to this, Ember." 

This time Zane stood up and walked to the door. He was bored with me and this conversation. I snapped my fingers and flicked the small flame into the fireplace warming the room from the undead vamp as he opened the front door. But then, I heard the faint words from the heartless vamp as he slipped outside into the dark night.

"I'm used to hating you." 

Not moving from the couch, I listened to the car drive down the street until I was again surrounded by silence. His words played over and over in my head like a broken record. My smile rose, and the butterflies fluttered in my stomach. That's when I knew I was correct to fear that cold vamp's words. This could be one of the many lies the charming undead spoke, and I was too stupid to cover my ears.

 My first social outing led to a horrible disaster, only to end in confusion. As much as I wanted to stay in front of the fire forever, I needed out of these dreaded clothes. I lugged my heavy body up the stairs and into my room. The fire rose inexorably through my veins; like magic, my wings melted back within my body. The beautiful but now ripped dress was hung up in the back of my closet, where it would remain as a memory of the most confusing night I have lived.

My mind exploded with the thousands of thoughts from the dance, Lucy poisoning me, to the gymnasium burning. Most of all, I could not stop thinking about Zane's words and the confusing emotions I now felt toward him. I knew what I needed to do, at least at this moment.

The similarities smacked me in the face as I pulled out my diary from the wall. Was this something I could accept? Was this something I could avoid? All I know is it was something that needed to stay hidden. My feelings were written down and remained hidden in these walls within this diary where they belong.

Emotions were supposed to be nonexistent for immortals. Still, I was, wallowing in this undiscovered territory, trying to figure out the true meaning behind each new feeling that penetrated my soul. The more I felt, the more confusion I gained. All my friends were immortal. They would not understand these human emotions that were coursing their way through me. And I was in this alone.

I needed a distraction. That's when I remembered Ella and Kathryn had given me their phone numbers a while back. I told them then I didn't have a phone, but they wrote it down, telling me I might need it one day. Tonight seemed as good as any. 

My backpack was still propped open by my bedroom door where I had left it. The mountains of papers I had to dig through to get to my notebook reminded me that I needed to clean my bag soon. When I found what I needed, I opened it to the last page finding Ella's number.

Hey, It's Ember. I hope you all made it back okay. 

The thought of what was happing with Lucy broke me. Maybe it shouldn't have, but the more of these uncontrollable emotions that found their way into my heart, the more I understood her human nature. Lucy did what she did because of love, and she did what she did out of pain. There was no other explanation.

I began to open the pink notebook to write these sudden inquiries down when the black phone on my nightstand buzzed. My heart leaped out of my chest with excitement. I reached for the black box, falling to the floor in the process. The adrenaline in my body did not care as I slid my phone open to see the one simple message sent to me.

Girl! You got a phone! There are things we should both know! Get over to my house asap in the morning.

So, it wasn't who I was expecting. I had already forgotten I had sent my number to someone else. It looked like I had plans for the morning. No sooner than I had laid my phone down on the nightstand than it buzzed again. I'm sure Ella had forgotten to tell me something. I was in no hurry this time as I slid the phone open to read the message. 

Get some rest.

But it wasn't Ella. It was Zane. Short and simple. My hands trembled as my heart skipped a beat reading the short message repeatedly. What once annoyed me now thrilled me. I did not have to reply but now I wanted to.  

Thanks, I'll try.

I set the phone back on the dresser. My conflicting thoughts needed the diary before anything else could cause a distraction. These mortal emotions must be sealed away before they could generate danger for me or, worse, those in my life.

I sat on the bed, filling page after page with the confusing feelings I felt for the vampire. For the ice-blue eyes that were haunting me. For the arms that I now craved to be wrapped in. Secretly, I longed for a place to call home. The word always made me sick knowing I could never have it. But now, I finally found it and it was in the most forbidden location.

My body was now balancing scales, with my brain on one plate and my heart on the other. The brain knew the dangers, the lies, the impossibilities. It knew the independence I lived for, the fire flowing through my veins, and as heavy as the brain side weighed, the heart side had one sentence, and it weighed more. The heart knows what it wants; right now, it knows I was falling for the enemy.