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17| Loving Hate

It was such a beautiful day, the sun was shining brightly something so rare for Forks. And Paloma found herself inside when she should be out enjoying the nice weather. The problem was that she had no desire to do much of anything.

She had even turned her phone off, not wanting to speak to any of her friends. Though maybe turning her phone off also had to do with the fact that she didn't want to see if Edward had kept his word and called her Not like she would be able to avoid him forever. She would see him in school tomorrow, that is if he chose to show. And she didn't know how she would react when she did see him again.

Slamming the old book shut Paloma tossed it across the room. It hit the wall with a loud thud, breaching the spine of the book as it feel on the hardwood floor. Reading about vampires did nothing to make her feel better about the situation that they were all in.

Resting her head against the window she looked out into their backyard. As much as Paloma had grown to hate Forks there was something dangerously beautiful about the forest. Maybe what drew her into it was the thought that it would be so easy to get lost in it.

As her eyes scanned the forest starting to feel worried about her father and Emiliano who were back in Seattle. Now that she knew that they did during their trips, the reality that they could die frightened her. Suddenly a figure caught her eye, but when she blinked they were gone. As if they were never there.

Paloma didn't know how to explain it but she knew that it was him. She knew that it was Edward.

Quickly slipping on a pair of shoes she practically ran down the stairs as she headed outside. Paloma wasn't sure what she was thinking, or maybe she wasn't thinking at all. What she did know was that she was angry now. Running a couple of feet into the forest she came to a stop and looked around. She expected him to step out and reveal himself, but he didn't.

It was painfully quiet as she stood there on her own.

"Are you there?" She questioned knowing that she probably sounded insane. And maybe she was, maybe she had imagined Edward and she truly was going insane. "I know what you are!"

The words sounded harsh on her lips. They didn't sound like her, but she knew that she had every right to be angry. That he didn't deserve for her to be clear headed and understanding, not after what he did.

When the silence stretched on Paloma sighed ready to officially declare herself insane as she ran her fingers through her hair in frustration. Just as she was ready to head back the sound of crunching leaves caused her to freeze. She realized then what a terrible idea it had been to come out here. But she was here and had no other choice but to turn around.

Nothing could have prepared her for seeing him for the first time. Knowing what he was. She thought that she was ready to talk to him but she realized now that she wasn't. The words were stuck in her throat and she had to look away from him to even think straight.

She had never felt so betrayed.

"Paloma." Edward said softly.

"I know the truth now." She finally said not sounding nearly as angry as she felt.

"I know." He replied simply giving nothing away about what he was thinking or feeling. He was in perfect control of his emotions, and it was so frustrating considering that Paloma was entirely overcome by them. "I can see it in your eyes. The way you look at me now."

"How could you?" Paloma said not sure if she wanted to cry or scream. But she couldn't let him see her cry, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing how deeply his little game had affected her.  "You lied to me."

"I never lied."

Paloma looked at him in disbelief. Did he really not see where he was in the wrong? He must see her as stupid and naive as she felt. "You were hiding something. It's just the same as lying."

Logically she understood why he hadn't told her. She was supposed to be his enemy, her family had a history of killing his kind. But that didn't explain why he still chose to pursue her when he knew that the truth and undoubtedly knew that she was in the dark about it.

"How could I tell you? You would hate me the way you do now." Edward said his voice strained as if he was finding it difficult to contain his own emotions. "And I could never put my family in danger. I didn't know what kind of hunter you were."

Him calling her a hunter shocked her. It revealed the way that he saw her. It made it more clear exactly what they were supposed to be to each other. That they should have each other for what they were.

"If you knew that I came from a family of hunters why... why didn't you STAY AWAY?" She found herself yelling surprised by how he had hurt her calling her a hunter.

"I TRIED!" Edward snapped back his voice booming through the forest but he sighed the moment the words left his mouth. "Alice told me you were coming, and I tried. I did. But this was much stronger than I expected."

Edward stepped forward and she could see him more clearly now. But when he stepped into the sunlight that was coming through the trees she couldn't help but marvel at the way he looked.

Paloma instinctively took a step back stunned by how beautiful he was.

She had read in one of her fathers books about how a vampire's skin sparkled in the sunlight, but nothing could have prepared her for seeing it so up close. It was almost like the sun was caressing his skin causing it to sparkle like diamonds. Paloma was sure she had never seen anything that beautiful.

As beautiful as he looked she had to remind herself that he had the skin of a killer. He wasn't human.

"You've killed people." She said softly, but that was mostly just a reminder to herself of what he was.

"Yes." He said simply and Paloma could see how difficult it was for him to admit to it. Almost like she was ashamed of it, but she must have been imagining it because he couldn't possibly be ashamed. It was the nature of who he was.

"So you are the monster my family says you are?"

Edward shook his head in response as he paused seeming to need time to choose his words wisely. "My family, we're different from others of our kind. We only hurt animals. We learn to control our thirst. But it's you, your scent, it's like a drug to me."

Paloma chose to ignore what he said about her being like a drug to him. She didn't want to hear it. She just wanted to know more about him not feeding on human blood, because maybe that meant that he wasn't as monstrous as her brother and father made the Cullens our to be. But she knew that she was being naive. Wanting to make her actions seem less stupid than they were. "Is that why they can't hunt you and your family?"

"Yes, because we don't drink human blood." He clarified as he took a couple steps closer to her, and she had to fight the urge to step away from him. "I haven't had human blood in years."

Years. The word seemed to ring in her ears and she realized that she had never considered how old he must actually be. She had ready how it was nearly impossible to kill vampires, how most of them had been alive for centuries. "How old are you?"

"Seventeen." He answered promptly.

Edward's answer made Paloma want to scream in frustration. "How long have you been seventeen?"

His lips twitched as he looked away from her. "A while."

"That's not an answer."

"I'm 109."

Paloma felt as if the air had been sucked out of her body as she ran her fingers through her hair in disbelief. The anger she felt only seemed to be building, but she found that now she was mostly angry at herself. "I'm so stupid. I let you make a fool out of me!"

"You're not a fool Paloma. You believed the lie." Edward explained and she could see the way that his face was overcome with disgust. It took a moment for her to realize that he was disgusted with himself. "Camouflage. I'm the world's most dangerous predator. Everything about me invites you in. My voice, my face, even my smell. As if I would need any of that. As if you could outrun me. As if you could fight me off. I'm designed to kill."

Paloma felt unsettled by his words. The clear hatred that he had with himself shocked her. She hadn't expected it, she hadn't thought that maybe he would hate what he was. But the truth was that she knew nothing about him.

"Are you afraid?" He questioned.

"No." Paloma said surprised by how easily the answer came to her.

It had to have surprised him too because suddenly he was gone. It was as if he had never been there, and she couldn't believe how impossibly fast he was. And maybe that alone should have scared her, but the only emotion that she continued to feel was anger and disappointment.

"I wanted to kill you." His voice echoing through the forest, she couldn't see where he was but she did know that he was trying to scare her. That he wanted to test whether or not she was lying. "I've never wanted a human's blood so much in my life."

Paloma couldn't help but wonder if that was all there was between them. That he simply desired her blood. That he never actually wanted her. If that was the case then that would make walking away from him easier.

"If you really wanted to kill me you would have done it already." Paloma replied thinking about all the times that they had been alone together. If Edward truly wanted to kill her he had multiple opportunities to do it, but he never did.

"I want you so badly." He continued and now she could feel how close he was behind her. She stood still as she felt him move her hair of her shoulder exposing her neck in the process. Edward wanted to scare her but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction. "I still don't know if I can control myself."

It was then that Paloma felt his lips against her neck. She wished that she was strong enough to say that his touch didn't effect her, but then she would be lying to herself. But she was still angry and she quickly turned around to face him pushing Edward back forcefully.

Pushing him back helped her release some of the built up anger and frustration that she had been battling the last two days. Paloma raised her hands wanting to push him back again, only this time he got a hold of her wrist pulling her into him.

Their eyes met again and they were so close, suddenly it was like she was back in that gazebo at the school dance. It was just the two of them together struggling with feelings that they weren't allowed to feel. Edward slowly let go of her wrists, but his hands moved to the side of her face. His touch was so cold, but she felt warmth spread through her body.

Paloma knew what was coming next, but it seemed that she had no intention of stopping it. Even when logic told her that she needed to leave. Even as Edward looked at her waiting for her to protest, but she couldn't find the words to do it."

Then any sense of logic left her mind when his lips touched hers again. Like the first time he kissed her softly at first before he moved her back against the nearby tree.

Maybe Edward was right. There was no way that she could have avoided this, everything about him pulled her in. Because even now that she knew that truth she couldn't help but pull him closer by his coat as she kissed him back. She was completely entrapped with her back against the tree and Edward pressed against her chest. Feeling him so close, she could only crave more of it.

It was like nothing else mattered as one of his hands got lost in her hair. A low groan came from him, like he was struggling to keep in control. But he didn't pull away, as if he was afraid to let her go.

One of her hands moved up to touch the side of his face, his cold skin suddenly reminding her what he was. That seemed to snap her back to reality she pushed him away from her again, and this time she took a couple steps back too needing more distance away from him. But she couldn't even look at him as she turned around to begin walking back towards her house.

She hoped that they didn't notice that she had slipped away. She had lost all track of time here, for all she knew she could have been out in the woods for hours. There was no way that she could come up with a lie that they would believe.

"You haven't said it." He called out causing her to stop.

Paloma turned around not sure what he was talking about. "What?"

"You haven't said what I am."

They simply looked at each other for what could have been forever, because it was like they were frozen in time. As she looked at him Paloma really wished that things were different, that if only they could just change their names that maybe they could have had a chance. That if he wasn't as Cullen and she wasn't an Ibarra things could change.

But it wasn't that simple. Their families were enemies and that was never going to change.

"A vampire." Paloma said finally, knowing why he wanted her to say it. He wanted her to feel the weight of the word, so that she felt how real it all was. And it worked because she realized just how dangerous it was for the two of them to be in the woods together. "You have to stay away from me."

Edward shook his head in response as he took a step forward, but Paloma instantly took a step back determined to keep that distance between them. "I don't know if I can."

"They'll kill you." She told him hearing the way her voice faltered. The truth was that she didn't care that he was a vampire, no matter how insane that made her. So she didn't even want to imagine her father or brother hurting him. Because she knew that if they knew that they would kill Edward without a second thought. That they wouldn't care if the broke some ancient treaty. "You have to stay away."

This time Paloma ignored him as he called out to her again determined to get away from him. This time she would stay away, because they were both a danger to each other. Now she knew better than to try to entertain the idea that they would ever be good together.

A/N: This chapter ended up being a lot long than I initially had scripted in my mind, but I ended up really enjoying the scene. I've never really written star-crossed lovers but I'm really enjoying the drama and I hope you do to. We're going to start getting into the plot of Eclipse soon which I am very excited about.

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