Alex’s POV (dang it I'm always writing here lmao)

John paces slowly by the front door, looking down the hall at me. He reaches for the handle, multiple times, then turns to say something else to me.

“You don't have to go, John, I know you really don't prefer your house. "

“Yea, you're right, but I can't just bother you all the time. I've got to leave you time to have your own space of oxygen.”

“I've had my own space of oxygen since I was a child. I'm desperate to share it.” My tone is uneven, I'm not sure if I'm convincing enough.

There is a long pause, that same annoying light in the kitchen twitching on and off, “Sometimes,” He takes a deep breath, beginning his pacing cycle again, “I get really nervous around you.”

“Why?” It's a simple question,  one that I have been feeling opposite of.

“I don't know… you're charming, that one way you smile when you know you're being a smartass… I just-” He looks back at the handle, daring himself to go, “I just can't get my mind straight…”

“Who says you need to be straight?” I cock my eyebrow to the side, obviously making him blush.

“I should really leave you now, Alex, it's getting late and I know you have things to do-”

“And you know what? Of all the millions of thing I could be doing tonight, I'd rather be with you.”

“Why?” He grows more nervous as I take slow steps towards him, leaning on random furniture, “What makes me so special?”

I walk the distance to the door, right in front of him. His eyes dart in many directions, planning escape. I put my hands on his shoulders, knowing very well he'd melt under them. It's stupid to think I have no idea what he means, I definitely do,  “Everything.”

“Alex, no, you don't know me-”
I laugh loudly, watching his expressions change, “I don't know you? John, we've been best friends for an entire year, what do you mean I don't know you?”

“You don't know how I feel.. In short.”

“Jackie,” I sigh, trying to hold back another obnoxious giggle,

“Jackie… I know exactly how you feel.” This time I stop, looking him dead in the eyes. He tries to hold a stare back, but it fails every so often, before eventually falling to the floor.

My hearts pounding up a storm, but my poker face is beyond impeccable. I bring my hand off of his shoulder, using it to take his chin, slowly bringing him up to see me. John finally looks at me, and I thought I was prepared. His eyes stun me again, bringing back that tingling I've felt every moment in his sight. I feel my guard fall, my strong face weakening to a point of no return.

We stare for a million moments, fleeting memories fly by both our minds. We've grown so close, closer than I thought I'd ever have anyone. He does that look again, his mouth twitching, eyes burning to mine. I know what's next, I've seen it coming. He slowly moves to me, his own hand flying up to my face. I jump back, scaring him.
“Alex… I'm sorry,  I dunno wh-”
I push him against the door, my mouth my strongest element. He doesn't move, pinned against me with no personal space at all. I finally feel him kiss back, his shock wearing off. My heart still flutters, but I do my best not to let it get the best of me. I let him go, my hands still resting on the back of his neck.

“There. Fair game. Take your shot,” I chuckle through my words, making him smile, something I desperately needed to see. He hesitates, but eventually moves towards me again. I don't move, only my hands trace around his back. He's so smooth, so gentle with it all. He's slow, something I need in my own ways. We don't part for a long time, both of us creeping our way towards the living room. Liplocked, he let's me down, making it easier for him to kiss me. He's so far up, his chest barely scraping mine. I don't allow that, pulling him down.

He lays restfully on me, reluctantly slipping his lips away from mine. I give him a moment before I kiss back, and he oddly seems relieved I did. There's quick bursts of breathing before we can't take it anymore, putting ourselves back together.

“Why?” He squeaks, finally able to look me in the eye.

“What do you mean, why?"

“Why did you kiss me?”

“Are you complaining?” I look up at his blue eyes, letting them take me down as if I were on the edge of a cliff.

“Never,” His voice falls to a whisper, “But… Of all the people, you're with-”

“John Laurens,” He finally settles back on me, something I didn't notice he'd crept away from, “I'm with you. I'm with you because..  I just..” I find this whole ordeal harder than I had planned, my words hiding in my throat, though I stretch to push them out, “I love you…”

He takes a breath in, looking around the room for something, anything. When he swivels back I see tears pricking at his eyes, “And that's what I'm scared of…"

“What?” I'm hesitant before he lays back on me, afraid he might run.

“Because I love you too…” Johns chest moves against mine in a collective manner, taking in every breath we can. We savor the moment before the inevitable, his lips find their way back to mine shockingly easily. I let him have time before I speak, “Jackie… this isn't any one night stand type of thing.. Is it?”

“I was thinking the same exact thing… ”

“I'm all in.” My eyes begs his, and without a second beat he answers.

“Me too.” I take advantage of the moment, bringing my hands up to his perfectly framed face. He leans into them, obviously relieved.

“So do you still wanna go home…or?” I laugh, making him grin like a lovestruck kid.

“I am home. I spend most of my life here anyway.” He chuckles, his smile melting my previous nerve.

“Well, I don't know about you, but-”

“Yes. Please.” He let's off, pulling me up, “I know exactly what you're thinking.” He leads me down the hall, how the hell did he know? I laugh to myself, he's the one person who knows me better than anyone.

“You're so smart.. How'd you even-”

“Shh. I have my ways,” John winks, letting himself fall on the empty side of my bed. I waste no time, taking every moment I can, laying myself down next to him. I press my lips down his neck, rising and falling between his jawline.

His warm arms wrap easily around my small body, giving me an insane sense of security. It scares me, I've never felt this safe in my entire existence. There had always been a constant threat, my guard could never tremble. Now I feel like I can relax, I can sleep, I can breathe.

John instantly feels the same, his breath slowing more and more each second. I close my eyes, letting the waves win.

I'm going to tell the guys tomorrow. They'll never see it coming.

AN - this is personally one of my favorite oneshots! I hoped you guys like it because I had so much fun writing it!!
drop a vote and a comment with suggestions or plots you'd like me to do! (believe me,  I need them)
((I also try to keep these 1,000 - 1,600 words,  just an FYI for you guys and me))