"Well, this is awkward." Thorin halted the group of escaping Dwarves behind him, arms flung out to either side. Before him was a female Elf, by her clothes, a maid. She had a very large sack slung over one shoulder, and her dress seemed too long, scraping and gathering on the floor around her feet. Thorin scrutinised the women, all present, halted in anticipation of the others next move. Shouts of alarm rose from above.

"Shit." Thorin met eyes with the blonde Elf in confusion, as they cursed in unison.

"This way!" Bilbo called as he rushed them down the last few steps to the Celler bellow. The Elleth followed quickly behind.

"You were supposed to be leading us out, not further in!" One of the Dwarves exclaimed.

"Just trust me." The Hobbit replied. The Elleth moved to the sleeping Elves, and picked up one of the bottles. Seeing it was empty, she tossed it aside, it shattered on the floor. The group of Dwarves stared at her in anger, but she didn't notice, as her eyes lit up, and she marched off to a wall filled with similar bottles.

"Climb into the barrels."

"What?"

"You've got to be kidding."

"Do as he says." Thorin silenced their bickering, and the dwarves quickly moved to follow their King's orders. The Elleth grabbed an arm full of corked wine bottles, and rolled them into her nap-sack, before tying it across her chest, and over one shoulder. As Bilbo moved to pull the lever, the Dwarves poked their heads out from the barrels.

"What now?" Bofur asked, as the Elleth slid herself into the barrel above Thorin's. Thorin eyed her curiously, not catching what Bilbo said, before he pulled the lever, and they were all sent tumbling and spinning into the lake bellow the Palace.

As they surfaced, their barrels bobbing up in the water. The blonde Elleth pulled at her sopping hair, yanking it clean off, and tossing it into the water. Thorin's eyes widened, as he watched her go from a blonde Elf, to a brunette human. The woman caught him staring, and shot him a smirk.

"Ramona." She stated simply, as if that somehow answered all his questions. She began to paddle against the water, pushing herself out of the cave they found themselves in, and into the sunlight.

"Quick, paddle!" Thorin called out, as he snapped out of his revear, and began to paddle. As the Dwarves and Bilbo made it out into the sunshine, they caught a small current, and were pulled towards an Elvish water gate.

"The Prisoners have escaped with stolen goods!" A guard called out as another ran to seal the water gate. The group piled up against the closed door with shouts of anguish.

"Stolen goods?" Thorin quickly questioned, as he looked from the womans face to the sack, tied around her chest. She gave a sheepish shrug, and he suddenly realised she'd, at some point, ripped her Elvish dress off to reveal, human, leather travel clothes.

"ORCS!" Another voice called, and Thorin tore his gaze from Ramona, as she'd called herself, and looked up to find Kili climbing from his barrel, and fighting his way to the lever for the gate.

An Orc arrow wizzed through the air, and found its mark in Kili's thigh. The brunette Dwarf cried out in pain, as his brother called his name in worry. Kili fought through the pain, and rose to his feet, practically crawling his way to the lever. He put his whole body weight against it, and pushed. The lever moved and the gates gave way, setting the barrels free to the current. Kili dropped back into his barrel, snapping the arrow, as he cried out.

The barrels were quickly pulled down stream, as Orc's chased them along the shore, swiping and swing at them, as often as they could. Elvish guards took down a few Orcs, but only two guards followed their trail. Legolas and Tauriel.

Ramona reached into her nap-sack, and unsheathed two, stolen, Elvish blades. She stood straight in her barrel, and swipped an arrow from the air before it could find its mark. She stared down at the twin swords in surprise and delight.

Quickly she braced her arms on the edge of her barrel before jumping, and pushing herself up to stand on the rim of it, her feet on either side. She swung her swords, and took down any Orc that got too close.

Thorin watched the woman, with wide eyes of surprise. He was trying to determine whether she was an Elf, or not. Her Ears weren't exactly pointed, but not quite round either, and she wasn't very tall, actually, she wasn't that much taller than himself. But she certainly fought with the grace and balance of an Elf.

Unfortunately her balance didn’t last. With her back to the oncoming river, she didn’t see the branch stretching out across it. She smacked, back first into the branch, and toppled over, catching herself on the edge of Thorin's barrel. She lay, stretched out, her lower legs, having dropped back into her own barrel, but her torso, out over the water, hands on either side of the Kings barrel.

She glanced down at him, the hilts of her blades pressed painfully into her palms, as she met his blue eyes with her brown ones.

"Come here often?" She asked with a sly smirk and a wink. Thorin rolled his eyes at the woman, before giving out a cry, as her nap-sack swung around her chest, and smacked him right in the face.

"Terribly sorry." She laughed out, as he moved it out of the way. He angrily huffed, and, with his full hand over her face, shoved her backwards, right as they went over a rocky dip in the river. The momentum tipped Ramona back into her barrel, as she laughed heartily.

God the woman is insane, Thorin thought. She continued to swing at the Orcs, taking them down swiftly, and even tossing one of her blades to Dwalin, when he got too close to the shore. Quite quickly, they lost the Orcs, but along with it, the rapids.

"We've lost the current! " Thorin called out to the others, "Make for the shore." He added as he lead them to shore. Ramona climbed out of her barrel, and dropped into the knee high water, wading through it, stopping as she spotted the poor Hobbit, looking much like a drowned rat. She chuckled, and picked him up under his arms, carrying him to shore, and dropping him on his feet at the bank.

"Oh, ah, th-thanks." He stuttered out, as he tried to ring some of the water from his waist coat.

"No problem halfing." Ramona replied as she tousled his wet curls with a grin. She walked up a little further from the water, and hauled her sack over her head, gently dropping it to the ground, the wine bottles clinking. She bunched her loose hair over one shoulder, and rung it out, the other half done in tight braids. The Dwarves spread out over the rocky bank, ringing out their clothes, and emptying their shoes of water.

Fili began to bind his brothers wound, as Thorin only allowed them a few minutes to stop. He marched from the group to address Ramona.

"Ramona, right?" He asked as he crossed his arms across his chest, staring her down. Ramona looked up at him, unbothered, as she flung her hair back over her shoulder, and pulled a pair of boots from her sack, her feet having been bare.

"Yup." Was her lazy reply, as she gave him a smile, pulling out scrunched up socks, and yanking them on. He looked from her carefree smile, to the sack at her, now booted, feet. Perhaps she would have something useful in it.

"Thorin Oakenshield, at your service." The King introduced himself, as he extended a hand for her to shake, fully expecting her not to take it. Ramona gave his hand a hearty shake, before picking up her nap-sack, and throwing it back over her head and shoulder.

"Pleasure to meet you."

Their attention was drawn at the sound of a struggle, and they turned to see an archer shoot a branch from Dwalin's hands. Kili moved to toss a rock at him, but that too was shot from his grip.

"Do it again, and you're dead." The steely man spoke as he notched a third arrow, and moved in slow circles, keeping everyone at bay.

"Bard! My old friend." Ramona called in sudden recognition. The archer in question, spun on his toes, and looked her over. He gave an annoyed sigh, and rolled his eyes, keeping his bow pointed at her.

"We, are not friends." He called back in annoyance. Ramona dawned a look of mock hurt, holding a hand over her heart.

"Well that's just mean now, isn't it." She shot back, as she cracked an infamous grin. Thorin was surprisingly getting used to seeing it, and briefly wondered if she ever took anything seriously.

"Last time you came to Lake Town, you caused a right mess." Bard replied as he squinted at her. The Dwarves looked between the pair in worry, hoping this strange woman, wouldn't cause any trouble for them. Not when they were so close to their goal.

"Setting the Masters house on fire was a complete justifiable." She defended herself, her face falling into a more serious look, her tone even dawning an edge.

"Yeah. Justifiable." Bard rolled his eyes at her, but lowered his bow none the less.

"Hey! I don't go out of my way to hurt people okay? I'm not that kind of person." She snapped back, pointing an accusing finger at him, and taking a rather daunting step forward. She wasn't playing games anymore, but appeared angered and offended, with what he was implying. Bard sighed and turned, making his way up the shore a little, to where his barge was docked.

The Dwarves looked between their King and the Bargeman, before Balin went after him making small talk in hopes of bargaining a ride. Bard pulled the heavy barrels from the Lake, as the others joined him at the waters edge.

Ramona adjusted her nap-sack as she tried to school her emotions. She glanced up to see Bilbo looking at her in concern. She shook her head to clear it, and once again dawned her signature smile. She marched towards him, and together they stopped by the group of Dwarves.

"We need food, supplies, weapons. Can you help us?" Thorin asked as he stepped forward, his hair still drenched from the Lake, and hanging loosely around him.

"I know where these barrels came from." Bard replied as he brushed his fingers against a notch in the wood of one, clearly made by an arrow during their escape.

"What of it?" Thorin demanded rather heatedly. Ramona looked between the pair, wondering if one would give, before a full blown fight broke out.

"I don't know what business you had with the Elves," Bard started as he met Ramona's eyes, giving her a weary look. This didn't go unnoticed by Thorin, or Bilbo. "I don't think it ended well. No one enters Lake Town but by leave of the Master. All his wealth comes from trade with the Woodland Realm." Bard explained, as he finished loading the barrels aboard his barge, and unhooked the docking rope.

"He would see you in irons before risking the wrath of King Thranduil." He finished his speech, tossing the rope at poor Balin, who practically copped it to the face. Thorin grunted at the white haired Dwarf, gesturing at Bard with his head. Balin rolled his eyes. Was it his job to do everything?

"I'll wager there are ways to enter that town unseen!" Balin called after Bard, as he moved about his barge, readying to leave.

"Aye." Bard replied without hint of emotion, his back to the group.

"For that, you'd need a smuggler." He added. Ramona squinted at him, before stepping between the others, and moving to the edge of his barge, one arm rummaging around in her nap-sack.

"For which we would pay double." She said as she stopped beside Balin, presenting a large handful of gold coins. Balin looked up at her with wide eyes of shock. Bard looked down at the money, then back up at the woman. He knew the money she came by, was not often earned, but could not deny the extra share, and what it could give his children.

"Welcome aboard." He said as he pocketed her money. She perked up, smiling brightly at him, before skipping up onto the deck.

"Well?" She asked as she stared at the group of rather stunned Dwarves. They quickly moved, and joined her and Bard on board, before the Bargeman set off.

I swear this was supposed to be a one shot, but then it turned into a two shot.