word count: 1.6k

notes: a non-linear continuation of the spider!koo one shot i did a while ago. the 'intervention' mentioned in the time stamps is the intervention carried out in the first oneshot, so please read that first!! there are two parts to this - before the intervention, and after the intervention. this is set in college.

There's no smut!!!!! bit of a spicy ending ig, but i fear the title may be misleading lol

pairing: spider!koo x reader

enjooooooy, mwah x

Four weeks, two days and sixteen hours prior to 'The Intervention.'

-----

"FUCK, MARRY, KILL," Jimin muses as he tosses a small orange ball above his head. He's resting on his back, feet up on Jungkook's bed, while Jungkook sits at his desk. You're by the side of the bed, head in a textbook. 

You're cramming in a last-minute revision session for tomorrow's exam. Jimin decided that he'd read enough about thirteen minutes into the study session, and has been playing nonsensical games for upwards of half an hour, now. 

"Exams, coursework, presentations," you offer to the mix - a welcome change from the celebrities he's been running through for the last ten minutes.

Jungkook smiles to himself. You notice the slight raise of his hunched-over shoulders as he does so, and are glad he's not annoyed by the distraction. He's been stressed lately. All that rock climbing. Takes up too much time, you think. 

"Easy," he comments. "Fuck presentations, marry coursework, kill exams."

You nod in full agreement. Jimin makes a noise that doesn't sound entirely human.

"Nah, man. Fuck coursework. Marry presentations."

"You'd marry presentations?" You almost shriek, whipping around to look at him in disbelief. "You're a masochist."

"You're not wrong," Jimin admits with a sleazy smirk. "You'd be amazed how many people are into that shit these days."

The conversation leaps from one unhinged thought to the next. One moment, Jimin's declaring his boner for presentations, and the next he's giving presentations on why he would absolutely kill Nick Jonas instead of any of the other Jonas Brothers.

Jungkook is relatively quiet - actually trying to study - until Jimin checks his Hope/Less app for inspiration, and then propositions a new trio:

Thor, Iron Man, Spiderman. 

Jungkook smiles to himself, back to the both of you as he pretends not to listen in.

That is, until, you declare your choice of killing Spiderman.

Jungkook tells you that you're deluded. 

"Well," you look around and lower your voice, as if you're afraid Spiderman himself might actually hear you. "He's a bit scrawny, isn't he?-"

"SCRAWNY?!"

"- Like, with Thor, you know he'd know what he's doing in the bedroom," you theorise. "And Iron Man? Tony Stark has a reputation for a reason. You don't fuck that many women and not learn a thing or two. Spidey might even be a vir-"

Jungkook doesn't even let you finish that sentence.

"I'm sorry?!" He scoffs again in disbelief and looks over to Jimin, in the hopes of finding someone else to leap to Spiderman's defence. "Are we just letting the 'scrawny' comment go?"

"I mean..." Jimin hesitates. 

Jungkook can't believe his ears. Is flabbergasted. Absolutely gob-smacked.

"Are you kidding me?" He cries. "Scrawny? SCRAWNY?"

"Alright," you smirk at his outburst. Jungkook has been quiet all night. Still tired from 'rock climbing' the night before, or so he says. "Someone's got a boner for Spidey."

Jimin snickers along with you. "We all know who Kook's gonna fuck."

Jungkook just shakes his head, mouth still slightly ajar. Un-fucking-believable. 

"Okay, okay, Devil's advocate," you offer, and Jungkook thinks whatever you're about to say better be fucking good. "So Spidey is scrawny-"

"Slim."

"...Yeah, sure. That," you side-eye him, and hold in a laugh. Why he's batting so hard for Spidey, you'll never understand. Or maybe one day you will. All in good time, though. "So Spidey is slim - but he's got good shoulders. Something to grip onto, at least."

Jungkook seems appeased by the comment. Smiles. Blushes, almost. "Good shoulders?"

"Yeah," you shrug, tilting your head a little bit. "And, like, he must have stamina."

"Strong, too," Jimin interjects, and then you're both considering it a little bit more. "Actually, now that you mention it - the webs."

"Oh my God," you exclaim, and your face lights up like the fourth of July. It's about now that Jungkook starts getting a little confused. His eyes widen. Realises what you must be considering. Oh fuck no. "The webs! Oh, he could get you all tie-"

"I think we've discussed enough," Jungkook splutters.

"No!" You gasp. "No, Jungkook, you don't get it - you might be right!"

"Fucking hell," Jimin agrees. "Why didn't we consider that earlier?!"

"Stop thinking about fucking him," Jungkook wails, head lolling before he lets it drop to the desk with a groan. "All I said was that he isn't scrawny."

"Yeah, but the more I think about it," you sigh. "The more fuckable he is."

"Jesus, woman," Jimin laughs. "And here I was thinking Jungkook would be the one propositioning poor old Spidey."

"Sharing is caring," you joke, looking to Jungkook, who is still head down against his desk, but manages to mumble something incoherent. "Maybe Spidey would be up for a threeway."

It's now that Jungkook whips his head up. Turns to look at you in a state of horror. In fact, you've never seen him look more disgusted - and you've seen him fish Jimin's phone out of toilet bowls after a few too many drinks and a tactical chunder from the phone-drowning-fiend himself. 

"You can have Spidey," he gags. "Just keep me out of it."

"You mean we'll never fuck?" You pout in good humour. The way you see it, you've been friends for far too long. Joking about fucking him is as close as you'll ever get. 

"Okay, Kook," Jimin interjects. "Fuck, marry, kill: Spidey, and us."

Jungkook sits up straighter. Turns slowly. Narrows his eyes. "Fuck Spidey."

"Knew it."

"Ha!"

"Marry you, Jimin, 'cause I like your mum's Oranda."

"She does make a mean Oranda," you concede. It's understandable that Jungkook would want lifelong access to the supply chain. You think you'd make the same choice.

He turns to face you. Narrows his eyes even further. Points. "And you? Rest in peace, motherfucker."

"It's okay," you grin. "Try and kill me. I dare you. I bet Spiderman would just show up and save the day."

"He wouldn't," Jungkook says all rather flatly.

"Yes, he would," you say with absolute certainty. "And then we'd shag and fall in love."

Jungkook just rolls his eyes. Never gonna happen.

Six weeks, three days and four hours after 'The Intervention.'

-----

"FUCK, MARRY, KILL," Jungkook husks against your lips. His cheeks are flushed, not that you can see them. His mask conceals most of his face, just his lips and enviable jawline on show. Upside down, he's suspended from the bridge just off campus by the canal. Jimin wasn't wrong about those webs. "Thor, Iron Man, Spiderman."

You're standing on the path beside the water, smiling against his lips as you cup his jaw. It's dark, and there's no one around, but you still feel like you're doing something you shouldn't. 

You can't decide if it's because you're kissing your best friend, or if it's because you're kissing Spiderman. Suppose it doesn't really matter, when they're one and the same. 

"Kill Thor," you muse, ending the thought with a pretty little peck against his pouty lips.

"Impossible," he hums.

"Marry Iron Man."

"Oh?"

"Then divorce him, and steal all his money."

"You're so smart, gorgeous - but who are you gonna fuck?"

You wait it out. Don't wanna give him the satisfaction. 

Jungkook's impatient, though.

"It'd be kinda rude of you to give me a boner in my suit and then not fuck me to make up for the inconvenience of it all."

He kisses you again. Flicks his tongue against yours. Hears the ruffle of a few leaves in the distance. Curses. 

"Hold onto that thought," he regretfully says, pulling away. "Duty calls."

You nod and step to the side as he pulls up his mask. Lets himself look at you for just a moment longer. Doesn't wanna leave you.

"Get home safe," he says. "I still wanna find out who you'll fuck."

A smile rests on your lips, before he uses a little momentum to hoist himself up and off into the night. 

He finds himself laughing when he faintly hears you sigh, "Fucking hell. Spiderman. Every single day of the week. Fuck Spiderman."

"I HEARD THAT!"

It's sweet how naive he thinks you are. You'd been counting on it. After all - he's the one who just called you smart, and he expects you not to consider his freakishly good hearing when speaking out loud? 

Adorable. Does make you slightly concerned about the fact he's gonna be fighting criminals for the night.

And when he shows up at the window that evening bloody, a little bruised, and out of breath? Staggering slightly, lips ajar, eyes dark? Beelining straight for you, mask pulled off and thrown onto your bedroom floor, his damp hair waving around his blushed features? 

It seems you've every right to be concerned. You're on your feet instantly, pulled to him like there's a magnetic force between you both. 

There's no 'hello'. No 'how are you?'. Would be a stupid question, given the current state of him.

"Tell me who you'll fuck," he mumbles into your lips. He's sweaty through his suit. Entirely ravaged from fuck knows what. All you wanna do is check him over. Make sure he's okay - but the second you pull away, he pulls you back. Lips on yours, tongue in your mouth, breathing you in just to stay alive. "Tell me."

"Spiderman," you whisper back as his hands unbutton the jeans you're wearing. He shakes his head.

"Nah," he says, needy in the way that he has to hear you say his own damn name. "Tell me who you're actually gonna fuck tonight."

"You," you simper, voice barely louder than the sound of your own breath. "I'm gonna fuck you, Jungkook."

He nods. Sinks his still-suited hand down the front of your trousers. Doesn't give a shit. Kissed death tonight, and now he needs to kiss you just to make sure he's still alive. 

"Yeah. Yeah, you fucking are."

x