"yoongi....how the fuck did you get drunk."

hoseok rubbed the hiccuping teen's arms and settled him on the bed.

"taetae and minie foun' some d-drinks."

hoseok rubbed his forehead in thought.

"mmm hoseokie? i like youuu.... you're so..." yoongi was interrupted by a hiccup, "so niceeeee."

hoseok sighed, "you're drunk. please just sleep."

yoongi listened, curling up into a ball and attempting to sleep only when hoseok laid next to him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hoseok let out a growl, getting the three of the other teen's attention.

"you guys got drunk last night! and get high on a daily!" hoseok snapped.

yoongi glared at him, "you don't even know how it feels! im not going to stop just because your stupid ass doesn't like weed!"

hoseok bit his lip, he wasn't going to break the promise to his father for anyone. "it's addicting!"

yoongi was about to speak but jimin passed yoongi a tin of edibles,"dont- i call the 20mg."

yoongi instead rolled his eyes, turning away from hoseok and eagerly taking it. "no way! i'm taking 20, you can get the 10." yoongi grabbed the cannabis embedded chocolate, handing the tin back to jimin who help up a small square to hoseok who shook his head.

"come on, live a little. its only 1mg and it won't kick in for a while.  it's a beginners dose."

hoseok shook his head again.

yoongi cut in, "leave the loser be, he won't loosen up."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the next day didn't run as smoothly, yoongi didn't sleep next to hoseok so he didn't sleep well and hoseok didn't sleep well knowing yoongi wasn't sleeping well.

there was a new kid too, he was a little taller than yoongi yet he was 12.

he followed the 4 behind the bleachers, and as yoongi failed to light the joint he ran in, grabbing it and lighting it.

tae and jimin looked at each other screaming, "I CALL HIM" at the same time.

"another drug kid?" hoseok sighed at the kid's expert ways of lighting the joint and taking a long drag before giving it back to yoongi.

tae and jimin looked at yoongi, "rock paper scissors for him."

they played and tae played paper with yoongi and jimin playing rock so he won both of them.

tae hugged the kid, "im taehyung~"

"jeongguk."

"so where you come from?"

"drug trailer in busan i helped my ma run.  she got arrested, not for the drugs, but for murder cause she went crazy and killed a guy who didn't pay her."

"i wanted the kid!" yoongi hissed, jimin looking at him weirdly.

"you got hoseok?"

"he wont even take a hit," yoongi rolled his eyes as if hoseok wasn't right behind him, and took a long inhale just to blow smoke into jimin's face gently.

yoongi looked at hoseok behind him as jimin took the joint from his fingers.

jimin tapped yoongi's shoulder, turning his attention back to jimin who took a drag and attached his lips to yoongi's, blowing the smoke into yoongi's mouth before pulling away.

yoongi blew it out with a sigh, relaxed.

hoseok raised his eyebrows, not speaking to yoongi.

they were both tired and slightly mad at the other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"i'm sorry...." yoongi muttered, snuggling against hoseok, "it's okay you don't want it..... but im not going to stop somethin that can make me feel calm."

"okay." hoseok responded quietly, running his hand through yoongi's hair.  "what was that though? with jimin?"

"someone jealous?" yoongi teased as hoseok's hands found his waist, hugging him protectively.  yoongi's hands tangled in hoseok's somewhat curly hair. "passing the smoke, since we both smoke he made it a thing once in a while when i was last with the joint, he'll take it next and blow the smoke into my mouth.  it's weird but we've done it since we were 12."

hoseok didn't say anything else about it, instead asking, "your nightmares, what are they about?"

"my mom's death, my dad leaving me, a guy who took my dad's gun from my hands and blew his head right in front of me when i was six.  crazy shit right there."

hoseok bit his lip as yoongi tugged his hair a bit, rubbing his scalp gently, yoongi muttered, "you have soft hair."

hoseok smiled, yoongi returning the smile he barely saw.

"holy fuck..." yoongi muttered, "i wanna kiss you like this."

hoseok's smile turned to a cocky smirk, "really now?"

yoongi nodded, tugging hoseok closer by the hair.  "i technically haven't even had my first kiss, jimin doesn't count cause we're both smoking when we do it just to pass smoke."

hoseok only chuckled.

"so can i?"

"go ahead."

yoongi giggled, pressing their lips together greedily.

hoseok kissed him back gently.

yoongi pulled away, snuggling his face into hoseok's neck, "imma sleep now, good night."

"good night, yoon."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"why aren't you guys giving me some..." yoongi whined as tae and jimin passed the joint to each other and not him.

hoseok watched the two tease yoongi, even passing it to jeongguk when he joined them.

hoseok saw yoongi hyperventilating, "give him some already.  you can trigger a panic or anxiety attack by not giving him some."

jimin froze for a second before handing the joint to the shaking yoongi who finally relaxed while taking a long inhale.

"how would you know?" jeongguk hummed, staring at hoseok.

"i want to be an addiction specialist.  i grew up in a drug household too, my dad just couldn't bring himself to quit."

"is that why you won't even try it?" jimin questioned, settling a secong joint between his lips and lighting it.

"i don't want to risk the chance of getting addicted, like yoongi over there."

"i-im not addicted!" said male snapped, almost coughing on the smoke he breathed out so suddenly.

"yes. yoongi, you are."

yoongi glared at hoseok, unsure how else to respond.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

yoongi and hoseok had decided to wander the building at night, the lights were still on and they walked lightly.

"ooo whats this." yoongi tugged on a door and when he opened it he practically got stars in his eyes.

"yoongi? what is it?"

there was no reply because the older went into the room, hoseok peering inside.

"a janitor closet? what's so good abou- yoongi don't you dare!"

hoseok ran in as yoongi grabbed the jug of bleach, unscrewing the top.  he held yoongi's wrist to stop him from bringing the jug to his mouth, yoongi fighting against his hold.

"what the fuck are you thinking!?"

"let me die!!!!!!!!"

"no!"

hoseok grabbed the lid from yoongi's other hand, then grabbing the jug and tightening the cap.

he took yoongi's hand and pulled him back to their room, locking the door once they were inside.

yoongi was in tears, letting hoseok then pick him up and carry him to the beds they pushed together that morning.

hoseok did the only thing he could think of, kiss yoongi.

yoongi kissed back, trying not to choke on his own tear and he pulled away to sniffle. "i want to die...... i really do.... i want to see my mom....."

hoseok laid down beside him, hugging him tightly, "you'll see her someday but now isn't the time."

"i want to tell you about one of my nightmares...."

"okay."

"s-so when i was 6.... my mom had no choice b-but to bring me with her.  she gave me my dad's gun and had me stay in the alley nearby.  there was a guy there, apparently he was a regular.  mom said he was the only person who treated her like a human being and he paid her extra but he was very suicidal.  he had come to see my mom but that day she had been dropped off at her post....dead.  i hadn't known she was dead until the guy called me out the alley and i saw her body.  he grabbed the gun from me, pat my head, then pulled the trigger onto his own head right in front of me.  i didn't know what to do cause i was covered in his blood too and my ears were ringing.  i just laid down in between he and my mother in shock until my dad found me, took me home, and made me help him sell weed or cocaine.  i was his delivery boy...." yoongi sobbed as he spoke, his words barely clear enough but hoseok understood, "s-some of his clients were also regulars to my mother.... an i resemble her a lot so they used that excuse to touch me.  dad found out but he didn't do anything except when i would get home he would let me take a day off working and run a bath for me.  i thought he would come for me....i really did.....but his weed selling was more important.  he could've gotten high with me if he had really wanted....."

hoseok shushed him and he fell silent, snuggling closer as he cried.

"you're going to thing 'oh you wouldn't have known better' but it's all my fault......yes i was 3 when this happened but its my earliest memory.... i had made my dad late to work one day and he got fired.  he was disowned because he decided to marry my mom and have me so he couldn't ask his parents for help.  he couldn't find a new job and no place would except my mom because lived too far.  they sold all their nice clothes and we moved more go the city but without any good clothes left they couldn't get an interview and they had no transportation.  my mom decided to sell herself despite my dad hating it but they needed money for me.  she became a prostitute and my dad started selling drugs so they could provide for me quicker. all between ages 3 to 11.  my mom died at 6.  amd i started hating myself at 7."

hoseok was silent, pulling yoongi closer and kissing the back of his head.  he wasn't good with words a lot so he turned to affection.

yoongi soon fell asleepz having been so exhausted.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

hoseok sat with his back to the bleachers, yoongi ending up with his own joint this time.

yoongi sat in hoseok's lap, fumbling with the lighter. "help?" he squeaked when he couldn't light it.

hoseok grabbed the lighter, lighting it for the older.

"can i?" yoongi shyly asked, holding up the joint and then tapping hoseok's lips.

hoseok but his lip, sighing, "okay, but i am not inhaling that shit directly."

yoongi nodded, inhaling smoke before pressing his lips on hoseok's, blowing the smoke into the younger's mouth.

when yoongi pulled away, hoseok playfully blew the smoke into his face.

yoongi giggled, doing it again.

hoseok watched the smoke this time, taking shape in the air.

yoongi poked at his face, when hoseok turned to him, he kissed him.

hoseok didn't hesitate to kiss back, hugging yoongi closer for a second before pulling away so yoongi could put the joint back to his lips.

"you're hot." yoongi leaned back, just staring at hoseok.

"you're a piece of shit," hoseok laughed, pinching yoongi's cheek.

yoongi scowled, "you use your first swear at me to call me a piece of shit after i compliment you?"

"yup, cutie."

yoongi smiled, giggling.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"you can't control me, y'know?"

"s-shut up."

hoseok chuckled at the flustered yoongi who had ended up pinned against the wall after trying to pin hoseok.

"now why should i?"

"what happened to innocent hoseok?" yoongi whined, trying to get his wrists out of hoseok's hold.

"well this is the real me, take it or leave it?  i wasn't used to this place but now," hoseok nipped yoongi's earlobe, "i can be as confident as i want."

yoongi licked his bottom lip, "i'll take it.  damn, i meant it when i said you're hot."

hoseok smiled, ignoring the tint of pink on his cheek to suck a hickey onto yoongi's neck.  "you've been eating."

yoongi nodded, "yeah... i-is it bad? i'm getting too fat aren't i? is it that obvious?"

"no! it's great, yoongi! i can't see your collarbone as much anymore!  you look amazing!"

yoongi sighed in relief, closing his eyes. "s-so you like it?"

"yes, of course.  you're eating again! i can't see your collarbone as much! amazing! you're getting healthier!"

yoongi flushed pink, smiling shyly, "thank you..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"do you think when we get temporary homes we'll be close together?"

"i'm not sure yoon....."  hoseok kissed yoongi's knuckles gently.

"i don't want to be separated...."

hoseok sighed, "me either.....im kind of scared....."

"i've been in the system for years now but im scared too.  you never know if the family actually cares or if they just want the money."

hoseok linked their pinkies, kissing yoongi on the head gently, "no matter what, im with you.  we can find ways to stay together.  i love you okay?  even if we have to be separated for a while.  even if we will be moved house to house. even if my dad comes or doesnt.  i'll love you.  and while we're apart don't you dare kill yourself! i'll never forgive you!"

yoongi nodded, intertwining their fingers together completely, "okay.  promise is a promise. .............. i love you too.... you've done so much for me in such short time."

"together forever?"

"together forever."