Sullivan's POV

I think my crush on Savanna is gone. Well, I realized this when I noticed when my pulse wasn't affected by the way the sunlight caught on her hair. It had used to start racing, my face heating up. I would get lost in the beauty of it. Savanna was no longer basically a goddess to me. I found my eyes travel over to the empty seat next to me.

Alder wasn't at school today, for whatever reason.

I felt...I... missed him. He'd been absent before but... I still missed him. I wondered if my strange feeling towards him was making me feel like this. I'd missed him before, before I was even aware of this strange feeling. This strange feeling, that I didn't have a name for, had silently appeared under my affection for Savanna. I'd never felt like this around Alder before, that's how I knew the strange feeling was new. To me at least. Alder had won the fight for dominance in my head and kicked Savanna out of it. Now, at the most random of times, I'd think about him and smile softly.

I let out a loud sigh and plopped my head on my desk. I was frustrated. Not at the feeling itself, but at that I couldn't place what it was. Alder's downright gorgeous gaze of blue, passed in my mind. They reminded me of pools of tropical water, you know? That sort of blue? I felt myself heat up, and smile. I was blushing, I knew so, but the reason I was completely oblivious to at that moment. If I knew any better, I thought to myself, I'd say I had a crush on him. Hah, I'm straight so that's impossible.

Still, Alder's gaze was still in my mind. His smile... God, that smile. I looked back at the empty desk, picturing my blonde haired friend sitting in it as he usually did. My gaze softened.

Alder's singing voice, my God, it was beautiful. I'd heard him sing Helpless from Hamilton before. It was angelic. I had completely forgotten I was actually having a lesson in class. I hardly felt the stares. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw Savanna smile, or maybe she was smirking, I couldn't really see. I then heard whispers. I didn't pay them much mind. With a sigh, I placed my head on my arms. I hoped Alder was back tomorrow. I finally saw Savanna's full expression. It was a mere smile, as if she was happy for me. I didn't know why at the time.

Well, Alder was back the next day as I had hoped. I felt nervous as I saw him enter the school. He saw me and raced over. Joy as clear as day was on his face when he saw me. I felt the soft smile form on my face. "Hey Al," I said.

"Hey Sully!" Alder always seemed happy to see me.

That's when I noticed a new scar on his face and the feeling was replaced with concern. "Alder, there's a scar here! Where do you get all these injuries?" His eyes darkened and my heart sank.

"I don't want to talk about it," he answered. He looked back up, eyes lighting up when they met my green ones. I stared into his eyes. I blinked, realizing what I'd just done, and blushed.

"W-Well," I stammered. "Let's get into the school shall we?" Alder had also blushed. He quickly looked away as if trying to hide his blush that I had already seen. Alder matched my pace as we walked into the school. The rest of our classmates were talking in their groups. Then they noticed us and started whispering. I noticed Alder's blush darken and then he started walking ahead of me, as if trying to get away from them. I followed him and we walked into the class. I went to my seat and Alder sat beside me.

My pulse was racing. I had been embarrassed by the whispers too for some reason. They were just whispers, right? Nothing to do with the strange feeling I had for Alder, right? I found myself wondering if Alder liked anyone, something I used to have no interest in. I found it odd, but I brushed it off. Besides, I was probably just curious all of a sudden, nothing wrong with that. Only the thought of him liking someone made me feel a prick of.... jealousy?

Oh, if only I knew back then.

I pushed away the thought of me being randomly jealous all of a sudden and glanced at Alder, who was focusing on the lesson and hadn't noticed my staring. Alder's gaze then grew soft and filled with emotion. Maybe it had just happened because of something the teacher said? Or something else? I found myself hoping for the latter.

Alder turned and noticed me staring. He blushed and looked away, softly smiling. God, his smile. I found myself turning away quickly and blushing. I heard mumbles of "Cute" and "Has it finally happened?" I buried my face in my arms at the comments. I heard something.

Alder was humming. And then he started singing softly. "If I could tell him..." I blinked at the use of a Dear Evan Hansen song. The lyrics were changed, but it was still the song. "Tell him everything I see, if I could tell him, how he's everything to me..." I found myself wondering who he was singing about. "But we're a million worlds apart, and I don't know how I would even start..." Of course he could be singing about no one and I didn't know why I was getting so worked up over it. Alder stopped and closed his eyes.

I found myself softly chuckle when a strand of Alder's long hair fell into his face. I pushed it back into his hair. My hand hovered to close to his head before I took it away.

Whatever I felt for Alder then, I knew I didn't want to lose the feeling. The feeling was strange but... it was... good.

A good strange feeling.