trigger warning for:
suicide attempt,
brief mention of abuse

side note:
so early i started writing this, then just about half an hour ago i watched a short film that was actually similar and it made me cry so i didn't feel like writing all i had planned to for this.

"Patrick! Baby, I'm home!"

The shout startles Patrick, making him drop the pill bottle that was in his hands, the blue pills spilling out onto the floor.

"Shit, shit, shit," he muttered and frantically worked to gather them up and hide them. His boyfriend's footsteps is heard, thumping through the house, up the stairs, through the hallway, to their bedroom, through their bedroom. The bathroom door handle jiggles, making Patrick jump again. "O-One second," his voice cracks.

"'Rick?" Gerard's voice questions through the door. "You okay?"

"Yeah, jus-just give me a minute!" Patrick snaps, shoving the pills he gathered into the bottle. He swung open the cabinet, just as the door opened. "Shit!" He cries out, the door hitting his side and pushing him across the master bathroom. "Ow! Gee!"

"Oh, God, I'm sorry, Patr.. Patrick?" Gerard's eyes grow wide upon seeing the antidepressants bottle spilled over the counter again. "Patrick, what did you do?" He asked softly, crouching down to the redhead's level.

"I didn't- I mean, I was gonna, but--" Patrick let out a sob, cutting himself off.

"Shh, shh, no Baby, don't cry," Gerard said softly, pulling the crying boy into his lap. He ran his hand down Patrick's back and held him tightly to calm him. "Shh, its alright. Shh. Calm down. Stop crying, okay? We just need to talk about this, nothing bad, Baby. Come on, shh. There you go," Gerard whispers, rocking the boy in his lap.

"Ge-Gee," Patrick hiccups, grasping at his boyfriend's shirt until he has the material trapped in his fist. "I'm so sorry," Patrick let out a choked sob. "Gerard!"

"No, no," Gerard hushes him, "Be quiet. Just calm down, Baby Boy. Calm down," Gerard's voice was soft, it soothed Patrick and his hiccuping and occasional sobs died down, his breathing had evened out. Gerard looks down and sees Patrick has fallen asleep, nuzzled into his chest.

He sighs and lifts him up carefully and carries him out of their bathroom and to their bedroom; the two rooms are connected. He laid the younger into their bed, pulling the bed cover over him.

Gerard went back to the bathroom, picking up the small pills and putting them back into it's bottle.

Gerard walked downstairs, hiding the antidepressants and going back up to Patrick. He had also gotten his boyfriend a glass of water while he was downstairs, so when he got back up to their room and saw Patrick was awake, he gave him the water.

"Thank you," Patrick croaks once he finished the water. Gerard nods.

"We need to talk now, okay?" Gerard says. Patrick nods, lowering his head in shame. Gerard frowns and sits beside Patrick, wrapping an arm around him. "Talk to me. What happened after I left for work?"

"My dad called, from prison," Patrick says, his voice shaking. "He wants me to forgive him. I can't," his voice cracks. "He beat me to death, Gerard. If you hadn't been coming over that day, I would still be dead! I can't forgive him for actually killing me! But i know i should, but I can't. That's what upset me so bad."

"Baby," Gerard whispers, holding Patrick tighter. "You don't have to forgive him. He doesn't deserve your forgiveness. But now, you and I both know that isn't the only reason. I need you to tell me, okay?"

"I-I can't," Patrick says, a tear slipping down his cheek. Gerard quickly whips it away.

"Please, Baby. I can't help if you don't tell me," Gerard insists.

"I-I can-n't," Patrick hiccups, shaking his head. "Dont make me, please."

Gerard sighs, leaning his head on top of Patrick's. "Fine, but we will talk later, promise?" He says.

Patrick nods weakly and whispering, "Yes. I promise."