- I can't do this! - I exclaimed in frustration, when I tried the same dance for the twentieth time, but an eighth step always caught me off guard.

I had been working at the agency for a month as a background dancer, and I knew that many people thought that I had nothing to earn here. There were a few who didn't even hide their disdain.

They didn't like that I was different, that I wasn't born Korean, that my skin, face, and hair were different.

They whispered behind my back in the corridor and whispered about me not very discreetly.

The leader of the dancers told me with a round pretzel in his eyes that he thought "I don't belong in the team, but he had no say in the audition. The big boss liked me, so he has to put up with it, but he will find a way to get out."

Since then, I've tried even harder not to find fault with my work, and that's why I stayed in the dance hall for hours after the joint rehearsals. I just didn't want to give up. But now I started to run out of strength and feel that maybe he was right after all, I'm not the right fit.

I started the song again and paid special attention to that particular part, but this time the step didn't come out, in fact I was so dizzy that after a wrong step I lost my balance and squealed on the floor.

The air got stuck in my lungs from the pain, and stars danced in front of my eyes.

- Oh my god, are you okay? - I heard a voice from the door, but I still couldn't open my eyes.

- Let me help you - the voice came closer now, and a strong arm reached under me and helped me stand up. Thank goodness the pain started to ease. Looking up, I looked into a pair of friendly eyes, and its owner smiled kindly at me.

- Are you okay? Can you get on your feet?

- Yes, thanks for the help - I answered shyly after recognizing ATEEZ's Yunho in my rescuer.

- You're the girl the boss hired not long ago, aren't you? You'll be performing with us on the next tour, right?

"If I'm going like this, I'm not sure," I said quietly, but he still heard.

- Is something wrong? he asked with genuine interest in his voice.

- Apart from the fact that I walk on eggshells so that I don't get caught in any of my actions, and after working 8 hours a day, I stay inside for another 4-6 hours to practice so that I can give my best so that I don't get fired? Also, I only ate a small salad during the day, because my body is "too round" for some here, but I don't have an appetite anymore because of the stomach cramps? I love doing this job, but I hate coming here to work - I sobbed at the end.

He just listened in silence.

- OMG, I'm so sorry, I covered this for you like this. I didn't want to burden you with my problems. Forgive me - I bowed and turned to run away in shame. Maybe I should really quit, how to work with the band after this...

But the gentle grip on my wrist held me back.

- Don't run away! There is nothing wrong. You didn't do anything wrong. How long has this been going on? - he asked with slight anger in his voice, but his eyes revealed that his anger was not directed at me.

- Since I was hired. I've been criticized since the beginning because I'm different.

- Since when is it a sin to be different? Who gave them the right to break a stick over anyone? Who were they? I'll make sure they can't set foot in the building again!

- No, you don't have to! I don't wish harm on anyone!

- But you just said that they hurt you from the beginning and yet you protect them?

- I don't want trouble, I'd rather go...

- No - he exclaimed, which made me a little nervous, which he could also sense, because he continued more quietly:

- You can't give up! Then they win. You have to stick it out to show them they were wrong!

- Unfortunately, I think they'll get rid of me soon anyway. Who needs a dancer who keeps messing up the choreography?

- What song is that?

- The Halazia. There's one move that always gets the best of me.

- That is one of our most difficult choreographies, it took even us weeks to learn. And we made mistakes even on the day of the performance. Don't beat yourself up about it. But if you want, I'll be happy to help you practice.

- Sure?! I looked at him in disbelief.

- Of course. But not today. You've practiced enough today.

- But...

- You were dizzy earlier, which I'm sure was due to exhaustion and hunger. So let's go get something to eat now, and I'll meet you here tomorrow after you've rested.

- I'm not allowed to eat today.

- Why not? Because he can't put a lock on his mouth in his envy of a couple of flat chicken hands? You are beautiful just the way you are. Don't care what other people say or how they hate you, and don't care about anything that will only make you sick. They all do it because they also want what is naturally given to you. Now let's go eat!

I couldn't say anything anymore, so I gathered my things and went after Yunho. We got into a black MPV in the underground garage. The driver took us to a nearby restaurant.

We sat down in a secluded corner and didn't take off the mask until the food arrived.

We ate delicious spicy kimchi jjigae with soft rice cakes. The warm food almost caressed my insides after the whole day's hunger.

I quickly removed the contents of my plate. When I looked up, Yunho was watching with a smile.

- Would you like another one? I think you should eat another one...

- No, it's really not necessary! I'm full, really!

But he didn't listen to me and ordered another one more.

As the ajumma placed the food in front of me, saliva pooled in my mouth and my stomach grumbled in a telling way.

- Are you still hungry - he winked at me - eat!

When we finished the food, the idol settled the bill and wouldn't let me pay.

- You were my guest. In return, promise that you will fight, you will not give up! Even when it's hard. I'll be there to help you, I promise.

- Okay, I won't give up.

- 약속 (yagsog; promise)?

- 네, 약속 (ne, yagsog; yes, I promise) - I answered.

- Come, I'll take you home.

Not long after, the black car stopped in front of my apartment. Yunho got out and helped me out of the car.

- Thank you very much for the evening, it meant a lot to me, really - I bowed gratefully.

- I did it willingly. Now go, take care, sleep well, see you tomorrow - then he hugged me and gave me a kiss on the top of my head.

- 잘자 (yalja; sleep well)! - I waved as he got back into the car.

After a surprisingly relaxing and calm night, I finally, after a month, went to work excited. But my enthusiasm quickly waned when the daily atrocities began.

The glass was filled when the contents of a bottle of water were poured over my head. According to the dance teacher, I wasn't "fresh" enough during practice, so he refreshed me.

I ran out of the room sobbing. I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to give up. I didn't have the strength to fight anymore. I did my best, but it wasn't enough. I don't seem to belong in this world.

But in the corridor - barely visible through the veil of tears - I ran into someone.

- Y/N what happened? asked a familiar voice.

Yunho smoothed the wet locks out of my eyes.

- What's wrong Y/N? Why are you crying ? You know what, you'll tell me about that later, now dry off first before you catch a cold. He pulled me through the door with the ATEEZ name written on it.

- Come, I'll give you a towel, take a hot shower, while I'll find you some dry clothes.
You will find shower gel, shampoo, and a hair dryer in the closet. If you need anything else, just let me know.

He walked me into the bathroom and then left me alone.

I put off the soaked clothes and got into the warm shower. Under the falling drops, I let go of my feelings and started to cry again, letting out all the accumulated pain and letting it flow down with the water.

Physically and mentally exhausted, I crouched in the corner.

- Y/N, are you okay? Yunho knocked on the door.

Nothing was right and my life was about to fall apart, but I didn't want him to worry about me any more, so I replied:

- Yes, just a moment, I'm ready.

I turned off the faucet and began to dry off. I wrapped myself in a larger towel and turned on the hair dryer.

When I was done, Yunho knocked again.

- Y/N, I brought you some dry clothes, I hope they will be good. I asked our stylist to help. Can I enter?

- Yes thank you.

The door opened and Yunho walked in with his eyes closed, holding a pile of clothes in front of him.

"Here," he held it forward.

I took it from him. It was a nice pair of jeans, a top and a loose, long shirt, and a set of underwear was folded into the jeans.

- Then I'll let you get dressed. When you're ready, come out! - the tall man groped his way out, still keeping his eyes closed.

I hid in the clothes I was given. They all fit perfectly. I packed my own clothes in a nylon bag and went out to the idol who was waiting for me.

- Are you done? - asked.

"Yes, thanks for the help," I replied.

- Sit down - he pointed to a chair, and I accepted his word.

- Tell me what happened! he asked in a soft voice.

I didn't want more trouble for myself, so I flatly refused.

- No big deal, I just overreacted.

- It didn't seem like it to me. You ran into me in the hallway, practically drenched, blinded by sobs. This seems like a really big deal to me. Y/N if you don't tell me I can't help you!

- You can't change that anyway. I can't turn myself into a Korean, no matter how much I want to. I will never be good because I am different. Even if I'm broken, they'll always find something to tie me into.

- Who says you have to change? You are good just the way you are. Who feels so much better than you?

- I don't want a mess, really. Don't have a conflict with anyone because of me.

- Tell me who spoke to you like that and who poured the water on you! Because I'm sure you didn't pour it on yourself - he changed to a somewhat harsher voice, which I've never heard from him before.

I didn't want to lose the only supportive person in my environment, so I gave in to him and told him everything that had happened to me at the company.

- And all this has been going on since you got here?

- Yes.

- Why didn't you tell anyone?

- He is my superior. Who would have believed me?! I'm just an insignificant nobody. I tried to pull myself together and do my best not to be a reason for teasing. But unfortunately they always found some reason to get into me.

- I will end this now. I'm going to talk to the boss.

- Please, you're only making the situation worse. Then they'll have another reason to hate me.

- So what do you want to do?

- Nothing. I think I'll go. I'll never be good enough here...

- Not that anymore! You are one of our best dancers, if not the best! You can't leave!

- Then what should I do? After today, what will they do to me? I'm scared Yunho. I can't work in such an environment.

- You don't have to. From now on you will dance with us. Come to our rehearsal room starting tomorrow. You will practice the choreography with us, and it will also help with the setup if we know where our dancers will be. Come on, we'll take you home now, that's enough for today.

- But we were practicing in the afternoon!

- Not today, you'll get sick. Don't worry, we'll make time for that tomorrow as well.

- But work...

- It will wait. The important thing now is to stay healthy and rest.

He walked me down to the parking lot, and the other seven members were already lined up next to their van.

- Guys, it's Y/N. One of our dancers. He had a bit of an accident today, so we're taking her home.

- But are you okay? San asked with cute concern.

- Yes, thank you, nothing I can't rest for tomorrow.

We got into the car, Yeosang, San and Wooyoung sat in the back, Mingi and Seonghwa in front, Hongjoong and Jongho in the next, and finally Yunho and me.

I gave the driver my address and we set off.

We didn't go far because the captain stopped the car in front of a fast buffet.

- Y/N have you had dinner yet?

- Not yet. But I will, thanks.

- Like yesterday? You starved to death, but you were able to starve yourself - Yunho revealed to the others.

- Why would you do that anyway? - Seonghwa looked at me in amazement.

- Because some people at the agency can't keep their mouths shut and made comments about Y/N's looks.

- But you are very pretty! Woo said, then blushed and hid behind Mingi's back.

- That's what I told her too, and I finally managed to dictate two plates of soup to her yesterday, but I'm sure she wouldn't eat it at home.

"Then there's no chance, you're having dinner with us tonight," Hongjoong said.

- This is really not necessary...

"Hyung, order the food to go," he turned to Seonghwa, and didn't care about my comment.

After a good ten minutes, the visual came back with two bags stuffed with boxes in his hands. The smell of roast meat, ttokbokki, and fish cakes filled the passenger compartment.

My stomach didn't hesitate to react to the delicious smells either, it grumbled so much that Woo in the back row laughed at it too.

- I think Y/N is really hungry now - the maknae also grinned.

- Then, let's go, let's eat as soon as possible - said Joongie, and we left.

On the way, Yunho and the two elders were whispering something behind my back.

Finally, the car stopped in front of my apartment. But when I was about to get out, Seonghwa stopped me.

- Yunho said that you will start tomorrow with us in the morning. We discussed here on the way that since it was about you eating with us anyway, you could come over to our place and we would leave together in the morning.

- I don't think that's a good idea. What if someone sees me with you.

- It's already dark, who would see. Come, I'll walk you up, and I'll wait for you to pack for the night, Yunho said.

They pushed me, all eight of them, until I gave my waist. Anyway, who can resist them.

I rented a small living room-one-room apartment on the fourth floor, which could be reached by stairs. Part of my daily training was going down and up.

Yunho looked around curiously while I packed it for myself. I spread out my soaked clothes. I watered my flowers and fed my only roommate, my goldfish. Goldy was dancing in the water, happily picking up the falling morsels. Yunho watched the stunt with a smile.

When I finished everything, I said goodbye to my fish and we started back to the others.

We soon reached the dorm. It was a small four-room house in a quiet part of town.

Upon entering, we were greeted by a smaller but nicely furnished living room and kitchen area. A sofa, TV and coffee table marked the living room area, the kitchen was separated from the space by a thin counter.

Seonghwa put the dinner on the side table while Yeosang, Woo and San brought cutlery and plates.

Mingi brought glasses and Jongho brought drinks from the fridge. Yunho took my bags and put them in one of the rooms.

The others were seated on the couch or on the floor.

I was still standing where I arrived when I entered the door.

- Come Y/N because won't have any left of it! - invited Wooyoung among them. But I didn't want to move. I was embarrassed.

Suddenly, a palm touched my back and pushed me towards the others. Yunho gave the starting push and guided me to my place. Hwa handed me a well-packed plate, and Hongjoong placed a glass of drink on the small table in front of me.

- Bon appetit everyone! - the oldest started eating.

They fell in love with the delicious snacks, replenishing the energy used up during the day. In the meantime, the light chat went on, they teased each other, just like in live broadcasts. Like eight brothers who tease and tease each other, but at the same time they also have love for each other, expressed in subtle gestures towards each other.

When Seonghwa put a piece of roast meat on his youngest's plate because he noticed it wasn't enough, or when San ran out of drink and Woo handed him his own. Or when Mingi swallowed during the intense explanation, and Hong gently patted him on the back and gave him water.

It was so captivating to see, I even forgot about eating, until the tall idol sitting next to me put a bite in my mouth.

- Eat, because it will be cold completely!

I blushed and start eat the delicacies piled on my plate.

I became aware of hearing my name.

- Y/N, where are you from?

- I was born in Hungary. I came here to study from there, and then I stayed to work when I was hired by the agency.

- We went there once, it's a beautiful country - the captain recalled.

- Yes, I was there at your concerts - I remarked.

- Really? How long have you known us?

- I've been following you since you were trainee.

- Really? So are you Atiny ? Mingi inquires.

- Yes, I think we can say that I have been since the beginning. I chose this career because of you.

- And who is your bias? San asked the usual difficult question.

I bowed my head, blushing.

- I won't answer that.

- Naaaa, it's not worth it! - Woo started as well.

"Leave her alone," Yunho warned them, and I looked up at him gratefully.

They discussed tomorrow's program while we finished eating.

Then they started getting ready for bed, took a shower in a row, and I started packing away the leftovers and the dirty dishes.

"Leave it, I'll do it," Seonghwa took from my hand - he had just returned from bathing - the glasses I was about to wash.

- I would like to help. You have done so much for me today, especially Yunho, I would like to thank you somehow.

- Then go and get some sleep so he doesn't have to worry about you. I can handle this too, and Wooyoung will be here to help.
Yunho will come soon and show you where you will sleep. Sit down until then. You had a long day.

- But it was for you too!

- But we didn't have to fight with our colleagues who humiliated us.

- Ah, so you know about it too? - I lowered my head in shame.

- Raise your head, you have no reason to be ashamed, it was not your fault! said the man kindly.

That's when Yunho came back.

- Come Y/N, I'll show you to your place.

He led me into one of the rooms. A built-in wardrobe covered the length of one wall, two desks were placed under the windows, while two beds were located along the other longitudinal wall.

- Choose a bed, sleep in the one you like the most.

- I don't want to upset anyone, the sofa will be perfect for me too.

- You can't sleep on the couch!

- Why not? - I looked at him in amazement.

- Because you are the guest. San went over to Seonghwa and Mingi and I will sleep on the sofa.

- It is not possible, I would not be able to sleep without someone sleeping in their bed because of me.

- Well, San has already fallen asleep in Seonghwa and Mingi's room. Then I'll go too...

- I'm sleeping on the couch, sleep in your room.

- You can't sleep there, your back would hurt!

- And you? You're so much taller than me, you couldn't even stretch!

- Do you want me to stay here by your side? I mean in the other bed...

- I did not mean...

- I won't let you sleep outside, you won't let me sleep outside either, so what's left? It's just that I'm staying.

-Okay - I surrendered in complete confusion.

I laid down in San's bed and Yunho in his, and after a while a deep snoring signaled that he had fallen asleep. I thought I wouldn't be able to sleep because of the strange situation, but soon I was overwhelmed by sleep.

The next day

"Then let's see what's wrong," Yunho said.

The rest of the band surrounded us, which was tense to say the least. I was already biting my lips in agony.

"Don't worry about us, we're here to help," reassured Joongie.

I blew out a large amount of air to release a large amount of tension and then proceeded to show which part of me was going to stick out.

- I understand your problem, and I already know where you are slipping. "Come on, I'll show you how to do it," Yunho said.

We went through the choreography slowly, meticulously, step by step, moment by moment. He patiently explained and pointed. He corrected when needed, but in the meantime he constantly praised, which was very nice.

The band did the exercises with us, although I don't even know how many times we went through them, but it must have been more than ten times. At the end, bowing my head, I apologized to them:

- I'm sorry that you couldn't practice today because of me. Also, that I had to rehearse this piece so many times today, because it didn't work for me. But I really appreciate your help. You really shouldn't have worked so hard for me, I'm sorry!

- Aigo, don't say you're sorry again! You don't have to apologize, Hongjoong replied.

- You know, this is our choreo, one of the most difficult, it was good for us to practice, thanks to you, now our dance will be much more precise - said San.

- But you've done a great job so far!

- You know, there are times when it doesn't even look like we're making a mistake, but we know about ourselves that it shouldn't have been like that - Wooyoung answered.

- But now we've all become much smarter, you and us too! You managed to correct your mistake, you worked very well today! Yunho praised her.

- It wouldn't have worked without you...

- This is not true! It was all there in you, we just helped bring the knowledge out of you. You are clever, you are talented! Don't worry if anyone says otherwise! - Mingi encouraged.

- Then I think that will be enough for today. Let's go and eat something delicious, Hong advised.

- Then I'll go too, hello! - I said, and I didn't even wait for the answer, I ran away. I can't eat, there's a weigh-in tomorrow, and I must have gained weight anyway after our dinner the last two days.

- Y/N wait! - I heard Yunho's voice behind me, and the next moment he grabbed my shoulder.

There was no way I was going to outrun the tall boy.

- Y/N why did you run away? Come and eat with us! - he pulled me by the hand.

- No, I can't go! - I pulled out of the loose grip on my wrist.

- Why not? - he stopped in surprise.

- I can't eat or I'll get fired. We will be measured tomorrow, and I always get comments on my shape.

- Why? You have a perfect body, I told you! You're still too thin. You have to eat because you will be sick! - he pulled out again. I couldn't do anything, he was much stronger than me.

At the restaurant, I was sandwiched between Seonghwa and Yunho. The older one busily fried the meat, while the tall guy loaded my plate with rice and side dishes.

- You have to eat this, and hyung will also give you meat. If anyone has any problems with it, just let me know. You can't get sick, because some people have problems! said the blonde firmly.

- What is it about? asked the leader curiously.

- They have a problem with T/N's shape because she is rounder in some places compared to Korean girls. That's why she starved herself. And since there was a weigh-in tomorrow, she didn't want to eat. It even made her sick last time.

- But there's nothing wrong with her! - Wooyoung was upset.

"Exactly, you have a very pretty figure," added San.

- I told her too, but she doesn't believe me. I had to drag her here.

- When is the measurement tomorrow? Hwa asked.

- Before lunch - I answered.

- Joongie, I think we should visit our dancers tomorrow morning - he turned to the captain.

- Good idea, I already planned it anyway.

- If we are there, the coach will not dare to hurt you. He wants to fit in with us all the more. He knows that he will get on our word and fly, explained Yeo.

- You don't have to do this...

- We don't have to, but we want to. So we're going tomorrow. Now eat! - Seonghwa put a piece of meat on my plate.

My stomach grumbled at the delicious aroma, so I gave in to the pressure and started eating.

The next day at the weigh-in

- Come on, kids, let's see how much you've been paying attention to yourself, queuer!

I was dreading when it would be my turn, I was already afraid of another humiliation.

But just when it was my turn, the door opened and the eight idols entered.

- Hello, boys - the leader greeted them sweetly.

- Hello, hyung - they greeted back in chorus - we came to build a relationship with the dance team.

- Great, we finish this, and the field is yours.

"Just take it easy, as if we weren't even here," answered Hong with a smile.

But the man could see that he was straining to swallow his remarks, which we always got at this time.

Yunho stood next to him as if just watching.

I followed. But he couldn't take it anymore with me. He had to hit me again.

I listened to the scolding with tears in my eyes.

But a firm voice intervened.

- What are you talking about hyung? Y/N weighs terribly little. You can't tell what her shape is like, but 40 kilos is incredibly small for 165 cm. No wonder she got sick last time. You should gain at least 10 kg, because this will make you sick. You know this very well too, hyung! Then why are you torturing the poor girl?

- I... Well... Not at all... - the man mumbled now.

- I heard that you regularly verbally abuse the unfortunate because she is different. We don't advertise that we accept and love everyone equally, do we, Captain? - the tall boy turned to the leader.

"Yes, exactly," answered Hongjoong.

"If you can't accept this principle, I don't think we should work together," Seonghwa concluded.

- Who is this girl to you that you stand by her like this? I've been here a long time, and she just dropped in here, yet she's already enjoying your favors. Ahhh, I know! She must have spread her legs for you guys, right?! he said with a sneer. But the smile quickly faded from his face as Yunho's fist wiped it away.

Then Jongho stepped forward with his mobile in hand.

- The boss wants to talk to you - he handed it to the man with a bleeding nose.

- Yes sir? - took the device with a sniff.

"I've heard everything. Your services are no longer needed as of tomorrow. I'll have your resignation on my desk this afternoon. From now on, you're not wanted in the building, if you set foot in it, I'll shut you down immediately. Now hand the phone over to Miss Y/N!"

I took the mobile phone.

- Yes sir? - I said, afraid.

"Miss Y/N, my sons spoke highly of your hard work and dancing skills. I would like you to take over the management of the dance team. Of course, with the appropriate salary."

Suddenly I didn't even know what to answer...

-"Hello!... Miss Y/N.... Are you still there?"

- Yes, sorry. I gratefully accept, sir. I will do my best and beyond to earn your trust.

- "Just do what you've been doing, that's enough for me. Come in tomorrow so we can sign the appropriate papers. Now go have lunch, I'll cover the costs."

... disconnected the line.

The dance leader with a bleeding nose was escorted out of the building by security.

I told them what the boss said on the phone. Suddenly, eight pairs of arms wrapped around me and congratulated me with loud cheers.

"Then let's take advantage of the offer now and go celebrate," Hongjoong said. The band started out of the hall, shouting and clowning around.

- Yunho - I pulled the tall, blond boy back.

- I would like to thank you for your help. Without you, I would have given up. Thank you for trusting me.

- You don't have to thank me for anything Y/N. You achieved all this yourself, I only supported you in it.

- By the way, I'm very curious if you happened to be in that room that night, or did you come directly there?

The boy suddenly blushed.

- Well - he scratched the back of his head in confusion - I've liked you for a while, and when I saw that you were still inside I wanted to invite you somewhere, but then the moment wasn't right.

- Then ask me now! I told him, surprising myself.

At first I thought he had changed his mind and wasn't going to say anything, but he cleared his throat and said:

- Y/N, would you like to go on a date with me?

- Yes, Yunho, I'd love to date you - I answered with a smile.

Yunho crossed the distance between us with a single step, resting his huge palms on both sides of my face, he bent down to plant a soft kiss on my lips. It tasted fine, but it didn't go any further. It was a perfect first kiss.

- Let's celebrate, the others must be waiting - he said with a smile, when he pulled away, and then we set off after the others.

The end

Happy Yunho month!
🥳 🥳 🥳