WARNING! WARNING!

Implied character death ahead.

Nothing was there. Nothing left to hold onto. Nothing for there to be......

Then there was no more.

Flashback

Sometime around the beginning of the day, something happened. No one saw it coming. No one could have foreseen it. How could you, when it came to him? No one really knew what to do. No one could do anything for the one person that they wanted to help.

Hope was gone to him. Nothing would ever be right again. Nothing..... The pain was bad, but what came after was worse. The numbness of having cried out, and of having the one that would usually help be gone. Just not caring anymore. And yet, caring. Doing anything, anything, to be free of that numbness, that awful uncaringness of just giving up. The need to be gone. Nothing was like that. Heartbreak was one word. Most would call it depression. But you couldn't call it just one thing. It was many things. It was simultaneously having your heart ripped out of you, having a very sharp blade digging into your stomach, and having your soul shattered into trillions of tiny pieces like glass, never to be put back together. Forever broken. The sun would never shine again. And that was the most terrifying thing that he could think. Where every memory; good, bad, happy, fearful, angry, loving, hurt worse than if there was nothing but pain in the world. Not even the 'good' memories worked.

People said they understood. They didn't they couldn't. How could they know what he was going through? There was nothing like this feeling. It wasn't just heartbreak. It wasn't just depression. He wouldn't get over it with time. And the worst part about all of this?

He was never coming back for him.

There would be no more quiet nights. No more nights were nothing mattered but the fact that they were together. No more them.

O/N: Please don't hate me for this. Currently I am going N through a really tough time in my life, and I don't know how to fix it because GOD MAKE IT STOP HURTING! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. PLEASE JUST MAKE IT STOP! I DON'T WANT TO DIE! Nothing seems to be going right right now. I am having really bad problems with depression and I can't get help because there is no help. There is no reason for me to be feeling this way, but I do. And it isn't just all the time either. It literally goes like this: *sun is shining, birds are chirping, everything is going the way I want it to* "Hm, today's a good day! *five minutes later* *staring at nothing* please make it stop! I don't want this! I just want my family! I don't want these feelings! And PLEASE GOD ALL I WANT OS FOR IT TO END! PLEASE! I AM BEGGING YOU, MAKE IT STOP! I just want it to stop. And because of this, every body thinks that I have no problems. That I am just seeking attention, and that makes it hurt even more because I am NOT. I don't want attention. I just want to be with the people I love. So if my writing seems sadder lately, you now know why. And if I am not updating as much as I possibly could, it is because I can't even give myself a good reason to get out of bed. What makes you think that I can tell myself to write? I just want this pain to be over and gone. I can't get myself out of this and I need help. But not only am I too proud to ask for it, but I physically CANNOT ask for it anymore. Sometimes I feel that there is nothing left of me. Sorry for the long A/N but I started and couldn't stop. And I was scared that if I stopped then I would never be able to start again. I need help, I want help, but there is not help for me. I just want to be alone, and yet I don't. Please, if there is ANYONE that can help me get out of this Hell hole that is my mental state, please help me. I can't get out of this alone. I have been trying for a good six years now and I have gotten nowhere. I just want to be happy again. And when I am alone, and it gets really bad, I actually look at the knife and ask it "Can you make this pain go away?" I absolutely loath self harm. But sometimes I think that it is the only escape. Personally, I am surprised that I haven't gone under just yet. This is a good thing right? Not giving into the temptation to cut to just chase the pain away? Please, someone help me.