Frank had rushed when it came to picking up dinner, calling the take-out place ahead of time just so he could pick up, and pay for, his noodles as soon as he got there. His dinner resting on the passenger seat of his car along with his work bag and the other bag that he had required earlier in the day. The unlabelled bag that Frank kept glancing at when he had a moment to do so; his need completely gravitating towards the contents. Frank hadn't gotten home as quickly as he had in a long time because his need was so intense. He didn't understand it, Frank knew that he had a high sex drive, but being like this so soon after he had jerked off in the staff bathroom with his newly acquired sex toy in his mouth, this was new for him. The way he felt like his mind was clouded with a static haze, Frank couldn't get over how he felt completely on-edge, how his leg had been twitching in the car before he parked.

Frank eventually got back to the one place that he really wished he didn't have to go be. Unfortunately, with how things had transpired, he didn't have a choice when it came to living arrangements. After losing Jamia, Frank knew that he couldn't continue living in her house. The place was being sold by her parents and they hadn't been pleased about the fact that he was crashing in her spare room rent-free. As soon as he could, Frank packed up what little possessions he had and moved out, not entirely knowing where he was going to go. He didn't exactly have many options. For once in the past few days, since he had chosen his last resort, he had been living in the seediest looking motel he had ever known to exist. He found himself rushing to get back and needing to get behind the locked door of his new home. That was all Frank could feel coursing through his entire being; a need that wouldn't go to sleep.

'Casa de Dallas', as Frank had named it, his new digs definitely looked like it was stuck in some sort of seventies time-warp. The bedding was a hideous black-on-mustard paisley pattern that Frank swore only the elderly would have in their home. The floor was carpeted a horrid brown color, with the kind of pattern on it that reminded him of a 3D illusion picture that he'd find in Mad Magazine. God knows what he would see if he stared into it, probably how depressing his life had gotten; Frank really didn't want to see that. The walls were an insipid yellow, that wonderful color from smokers who had been in the same room before him. The whole space was so cramped and what was more depressing was the fact that the expensive suits that Gerard had bought him were being hung in the most dated wardrobe he had ever seen. The whole room was the most desolate thing Frank had ever seen, making his heart sink a little while he climbed the stairs of the motel, getting onto his floor before walking down to his room. Unlocking the door, Frank pushed it open with his shoulder, struggling with his bags for a moment before he got in, setting them down on the vanity in front of him so he could shut the door behind him.

Home sweet home, Frank thought, resting his back against the door, taking a moment to try and get his shit together in his head. Frank couldn't shake how he felt at all. What had happened earlier had really shaken him. Frank had been annoyed when Gerard kept trying to stop him over and over again, but he had been completely shocked when Gerard actually stopped him from advances altogether. He couldn't believe that Gerard had been like that with him; the way he had spoken to him, it should have scared Frank, but it had done quite the opposite. It was like the 'on' switch had been jammed in Frank's head, pressed too hard so he couldn't switch it off. The way Gerard had spoken to him had made Frank giddy, seeing him in a whole new light that was more alluring. Frank moved away from the door, drawing in a shaky breath. There was a small part of him that wished he could shake this off, but the rest of him chose to ignore that tiny voice in the back of his head that said to leave it alone. He felt more alive than he had in years; like a fire in the pit of his stomach had been ignited and for the love of God, he didn't want that to go out. He wanted to stoke the fire and turn it into an inferno, it was just...

Frank sat down on the edge of his bed, internally fighting with himself because now that he was home and behind closed doors, there was only one thing that was crossing his mind. Frank couldn't even focus properly with Gerard's voice was still ringing in his ears. The orders and the tight grip on his wrists had Frank dumbstruck. He wasn't surprised that Gerard could sound like that, but the surprise was because of the timing, and it went straight to his dick, leaving him with a semi that he wanted to sort out.

Frank looked at what he had brought home with him, his dinner going cold next to the other unmarked bag away from which he couldn't look away. For a moment all he could do was look at the bag, trying to process if he was going to do this. Of course, he was, Frank knew that there was no other way he was going to be satisfied if he didn't do it. Jerking off in bed wasn't going to be enough. What he had done at work had curbed his hunger for a short period of time and now, all he wanted was to do something more. He was home and he was behind closed doors where he wasn't going to be caught out if he made a sound.

Earlier had been exciting but now it was boiling down to unadulterated need. His substitute for what Gerard and how he desperately he wanted him again, but that wasn't happening. He got up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed, going over to the bag, rifling for a second before he pulled out the dildo, weighing up how this was going to work best for him. Frank sat himself back down on the bed, taking a moment to assess how this was going to work. Just holding the dildo in his hands, his mind started to go a mile an hour, his imagination running wild like he was with Gerard right now, hands wrapped around him. For a second he completely forgot that he was in his shitty motel room and about to consider how he was going to fuck himself. In his mind, he was with Gerard, they were entwined yet again. His dick ached and Frank moved one hand, massaging himself through his suit pants, letting a breath of a moan escape him before it was decided. Frank knew that this had to happen or he'd lose his mind over the man who had a hold of him, pinning him back. He wanted Gerard restraining him and that only made things worse for Frank in the most indescribable way possible.

Frank tossed the dildo onto the bed, making light work of undressing himself. He pulled his tie free from around his neck before unbuttoning his shirt. He tried to think about how he was going to do this but his thoughts were nearly entirely scrambled, he could barely string a single thought-process together. He discarded his shirt, letting it fall to the floor without a care. Frank felt like he was in heat, he couldn't explain the insatiable urge under his skin, the longing to be filled by a man so much stronger than him. He had never felt it build in his system so fast, it made him almost dizzy. He stood up, quickly going over to the window to close the curtains before he shoved his work pants down, kicking off his shoes. He tried to get a grip on the situation and a grip on the dildo because now he was naked and wanting. His dick twitched at the thought of it being buried inside of him; a shiver ran down his spine at the thought of finally being able to use it properly. How it was going to work though, Frank hadn't quite got to that point yet. He stood still for a moment, his fingers circling over the suction cup at the base of the toy.

Sticking it to something was definitely what he wanted to go for, but what? It was like a whole other side that Frank didn't know about himself. Gerard hadn't wanted him, clearly saying 'no' to him, but that hadn't stifled Frank at all. It had done quite the opposite, bringing to him this whole new need that seemed so sordid yet so tempting. This was new. This was something that Frank couldn't just push to one side and ignore.

Frank looked over the room. There were possibilities, it was just a matter of deciding on if he would do it, or if it was even possible. The headboard seemed like a good idea, but it also looked like it would be too low. The angle wouldn't be right and he felt like he would have ended up more frustrated than satisfied. Another option was sticking it to the wall, but there were some pretty nasty looking stains that Frank really didn't want to be near, no matter how horny.

Definitely not against the fridge; that just seemed too weird. There was one place, the only other viable option. It meant that he would have to probably move stuff around in his room to get it to work, but Frank was more than happy to make this work. A combination of laziness and need overcame him as he grabbed the bags from the vanity, dumping them on the floor haphazardly. He didn't care about tidiness, didn't care about his dinner. He flipped the dildo over in his hands, licking at the base of it before sticking the suction cup firmly to the side of his closet next to the old vanity. Frank paused for a moment, pulling in a shaky breath while he looked at the dildo stuck to the side of the wardrobe before he saw the reflection of it in the mirror of the vanity table. He wrapped a hand around his dick, stroking it lazily, pulling him back to reality before he went back to the bag to retrieve the lube.

Uncapping the bottle, Frank squirted some onto his fingers, smearing over them before he reached around with his free hand gripping onto the vanity, Frank bit his lip when he circled his hole with his slick digits, the feeling rippled through when he pushed in, a small burn resonating. Frank was too far-gone to care that he hadn't used enough lube. One finger became two, stretching quickly because he couldn't wait. Frank couldn't even begin to consider going slow and prepping properly. There was no way in hell he was going to waste any more time when he pulled his fingers out, thinking 'fuck it' in more ways than one.

Frank ran his slicked hand over the dildo, his stomach knotting at the idea of it being inside him. This probably wasn't the best way that he could have done it, but that didn't matter. Frank barely put any thought into what he was doing as he moved the chair that was set under the vanity. He put a hand on the back of the chair, planted one foot on the stool, making sure it was sturdy enough to take his weight before he climbed onto the vanity-top.

He paused, hoping and praying to God that he wasn't about to plummet to the floor because the vanity couldn't take his weight. It seemed okay though after a moment and he took a breath of relief. He shifted, ignoring his reflection in the mirror as he lined up, feeling the toy against his hole, rocking against it as a quiet moan left his lips. Can't be too loud, Frank thought; the motel walls were practically paper-thin. He knew this from when he had heard someone one or two rooms over having sex the other night when he was trying to get to sleep. Frank felt dazed as he rubbed back against the dildo, the feeling of it against his hole enough to have him keening. He held his breath when he pushed back against the dildo slowly, nudging the head of it slowly into himself. His mouth dropped open but no noise came out of him when he slowly started to push back more. The sting of the toy stretching him more and it hurt a little more than he had expected it to, but the pain felt good, mingling in with the pleasure of finally being full again. He had both knees planted on the vanity, feet pressed against the side of the closet. He arched his back, wrapping his fingers around the edge of the tabletop. He had no idea how much of it was already in him but he wanted to push back, sink down against the toy and finally have what he wanted. He moved deliberately, savoring how good the blissful pain and pleasure was going straight to his dick, making his skin feel hot. A prickling sensation took while he clung onto the side of the vanity, groaning until his ass came in contact with the side panel of the wardrobe.

Frank's head dipped low between his shoulders, panting at the feeling of finally being full again. He tried to shut off his surroundings by closing his eyes, trying his best to imagine that he had gotten exactly what he had wanted earlier that night. He imagined that he wasn't alone in his room. No, he was with Gerard, his imagination running amok when he shifted slightly, the weight of the dildo in him shifting, the angle ever so fractionally different, but God, did it feel good. It felt fucking exquisite when he slid forward on the length, feeling breathless when he sunk back against it. Frank began to build up a rhythm, rocking himself back and forth against the toy. In his head, he wasn't in his shitty motel room with a dildo in his ass. In his head, he was with Gerard, again- Finally. The older man finally succumbing to what they both wanted. There was no denying that there was something between them, even if Gerard had rejected him in such an aggressive manner. It didn't stop Frank and it wasn't stopping him now when he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror to his left. The sight of the dildo disappearing into him, it didn't look like he was fucking a toy that was stuck to the wardrobe. It all piled on top of his senses and had him breathe out Gerard's name when he pushed back a little harder.

"Fuck..." Frank panted out, ignoring how his knees were starting to ache from where he was kneeling on wood. He shifted and leaned down a little lower, choking out when the change in the angle made it feel so overwhelmingly good. With his ass up in the air, Frank could almost imagine how it would look if he had Gerard buried in him, his hands on Frank's hips, holding him so tightly, pulling and pushing Frank onto his dick, making him feel used but in the best way possible. He would get a hand in his hair, gripping so tight that Frank would feel the pain in his scalp, pain that would go straight to his dick. Frank lay his forehead on the vanity, one hand in his hair, tugging on the knots from where he hadn't brushed it properly this morning. But it didn't feel enough. As much as this felt like the second-best fuck he had ever had, it just wasn't quite getting him off. Having picked up the pace, hoping that inevitably he would be coming in no time, he just couldn't reach it. So close but so far. Frank wanted to come with the idea of Gerard fucking him from behind clear in his mind, but it was just wasn't happening. There needed to be something more. Something so unlike anything he had done before, something that could easily have been so 'Gerard'. Frank didn't know what to do and he stopped, panting heavily, the frustration starting to take over while he pushed sweaty hair out of his eyes.

Frank scanned his room to see if there was anything he could use to spice it up. Nothing seemed to be jumping out at him. Nothing was going to help him out right now. Suddenly, Frank thought of something that would help him get off. The way Gerard had grabbed him in the office, it had really made him melt on the inside so unexpectedly. Gerard holding him back, showing who was stronger out of the two of them, rendering Frank helpless. Frank thought for a second, wondering what he could use to replicate that same feeling when Gerard had got ahold of his wrists. But he had nothing that would help the feeling of being held down by the man he so desperately wanted. Hopeless, Frank sighed, knowing it would never be the same. And then his eyes fell on his pants that he had left strewn on the floor; the glint of metal caught his eyes and it came together in his head. He shifted, grunting at the feeling empty as he pulled off. He climbed down to get the belt, pulling it free roughly from his pants. Frank practiced wrapping the leather around his left wrist. Maybe it would have been weirder if he still had one of Ryan's belts, but in his head, this felt right. It was the belt that Gerard had bought him when he got him the two suits. It seemed more fitting, doing this with something that Gerard had given him.

Frank got back to where he had been, groaning when he sunk back down on the dildo, whining high when it pressed against his prostate. He paused for a moment to catch his breath, assimilate before he took one end of the belt, and held it between his teeth while he wrapped the leather around his wrists. He slid the rest of the belt through the buckle, he pulled it as tight as he could until it wouldn't go anymore with his bound hands. Already restricted, he bit down on the leather, pulling it even tighter until the skin on his wrists started to pinch. He was immobilized with the dildo buried in his ass, imagining that Gerard had been the one to tie him up to the point that he was completely helpless. He wanted it so badly, he wanted Gerard so badly as he started to rock back and forth on the toy. A muffled grunt of a moan passing the belt that was still between his teeth, pulling it tight against his wrists.

Frank could feel his insides knotting up tighter and tighter as he tried to pick up a faster pace. His ass bumped against the side of the wardrobe every now and again, making him imagine that it was Gerard, that it was skin against skin. The thought alone made Frank moan louder, just as he had done the first time they had slept together. He couldn't help it; the idea of Gerard fucking him again was enough to make Frank lose all inhibition. Even the belt between his teeth wasn't silencing him. The strained out moans and curses fell from his lips, his breaths were short and sharp. He was so close, he wished that he could reach under himself, grab his dick, and get himself off. But no, he wanted to come as he had with Gerard- Untouched. He couldn't get a hand on himself anyway, so he didn't really have a choice in the matter. He kept his hands bound tight, ignoring how the leather was rubbing against his wrists. It hurt, but it felt far too good to loosen; so good that he knew he was getting closer and closer already.

"Fuck... Ah-" Frank panted out through gritted teeth, the word nearly lost against the leather resting on the tip of his tongue. He screwed his eyes shut as he tried to concentrate. He was so close, practically chasing his own orgasm as he tried to adjust. The feeling of being completely constricted and powerless was the kick Frank needed to tip him over. He was pretty sure that if Gerard did tie him up, he would probably come instantaneously. The thought of those eyes on him those hands on him. Even the way Gerard spoke to him sometimes; the confidence and power that dripped from his words. The way he told Frank who was in charge when they were first in bed together. To hear that again, to be put in his place once more. Frank would have it that way- Any way- just to have the man he fantasized about once more.

Frank's movements became hurried when the familiar sensation started to bubble up inside of him. He didn't care if anyone could hear him through the thin walls, his moans and curses probably hitting a somewhat embarrassingly high pitch, but he really didn't care. He tipped over with a choked gasp, the orgasm ripping through him as it had done just a week ago. It started off small but took over, engulfing him from his head to his curled toes. He came hard, streaking the vanity in come as he panted out Gerard's name from behind his teeth. He reveled in the sick twist of pleasure inside him, he couldn't even focus on anything, completely knocked dumb.

He eventually came to a stop, unmoving while the post-orgasm tingle warmed him thoroughly. He didn't even realize how much he had drooled until he looked down and saw the wet middle that had dripped onto the vanity, mingling with his warm release. He finally released the belt from between his teeth, letting it fall and land on his still-bound wrists. Best orgasm ever- No, second best. It would be hard to beat what Gerard had done to him, but it was a very close second. Frank tried to catch his breath, resting his head on the backs of his hands while he gingerly pulled away from the dildo.

He felt sore but the good kind of sore that he half-expected. It was something that he wanted Gerard to do to him, leave him with the same open and used feeling that had him smiling against the back of his hand, wiping away the smeared saliva around his mouth.

But th problem with the substitute that he was having to rely on, his post-sex high only lasted for a short amount of time. It wasn't like he could lie there, feeling like he was going to be on top of the world for an extended period of time because he had been with someone else. The realization hit quicker than Frank had expected, leaving him feeling alone and somewhat dirty because of what he had just done. Because who in their right mind would get desperate enough to climb on top of furniture just to get a quick orgasm? Who would buy a sex toy just to feel something that they most likely weren't going to have ever again? Clearly Frank would, and he had. The high was gone and the reality was back. He opened his eyes, looking down at his bound wrists, feeling the nudge of the dildo behind him when he adjusted.

"Shit," Frank whispered. The one word that rang out in the silence that took over his shitty motel room. It was the epitome of how desperate he had got in life at such a young age. It wasn't even like he was older and on the back end of a divorce. No, he was so young and so desperate to just get by. Frank instantly cringed when he realized just how awkward it was going to be when he next saw Gerard. After being told to put all of this to bed in his childish head, he had done the exact opposite.

It all sunk in far too quickly and made Frank realize that he was still kneeling on the vanity, still naked and feeling embarrassed. He tugged the belt free from his wrists before he let it drop to the floor. The sheer need and desperation had led him to be on top of the furniture that he was now climbing down from, tugging the dildo from where he had stuck it, feeling the need to hide it out of shame. A quick fuck on a twenty-six dollar sex toy that he had stuffed back into the bag from whence it had come. He reached for his sweatpants that were on the end of the bed, pulling them on quickly. When he had been with Ryan, never before had he felt the need to buy a sex toy, never before had he been so desperate that he had to run off to the staff toilets and jerk off with said sex toy in his mouth. All of a sudden he felt like he didn't even know who he was anymore.

Frank reached down to grab his work pants, folding them up, placing them over the back of the chair while he tried to carry on like nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He was trying to move past it, he hoped that the embarrassment would die down by the morning and he would be able to make some sort of eye contact with Gerard.

"Oh, shit..." Frank cursed when he caught sight of his wrists; the usually pale skin was now red and starting to bruise. It was so noticeable that Frank had had something wrapped tightly around his wrists, so obvious. He panicked, staring at his wrists, trying to work out what the Hell he was going to do to cover up the fact that he had bound his wrists together. God knows what Gerard would think if he saw them. He would probably put two and two together and realize that Frank had, in fact, had some fun with himself. That could not happen, especially after the way he had spoken to him in the office. Frank tried his best to come up with a way to hide what he had done, but nothing seemed to be a good enough idea in his head. Even though he knew that his work shirts would cover it, he knew that if he even moved his arms slightly, the marks would be revealed and someone would see them. Someone would question and wonder what had happened to him. What was he supposed to say? Frank had no idea and he really hoped that the marks would have gone down a bit by the morning.

Cleaning up what he had done because once it was all out of sight, he could deny that it had ever happened. Frank wiped down the vanity, removing all evidence that he had, in fact, come while calling out his boss's name. The bag that contained the dildo, and other things he had bought, got kicked under the bed and hidden from sight. It calmed him a little, but he still knew what he had done, even if everything wasn't in his periphery. Frank picked the belt up, mentally cursing himself before he looped it back onto his pants, wishing that he had never got the idea in the first place.

He tidied, not bothering to find a shirt because he would be going to sleep soon. Everything was okay and he was totally not panicking at all. He finally picked up his dinner from the floor, taking the take out box of noodles that he had ordered, peeling it open before he started to eat. This seemed normal, like something that he would have done the moment that he got back from work. He considered putting on the TV, zoning out and forgetting while he ate his cold dinner. The problem was that whenever he brought his plastic fork up to his mouth, he caught sight of his bruising and raw wrists. He chewed on his noodles, mentally facepalming, mentally, and internally dying because he knew that denial could work for him despite the evidence.

Frank muttered to himself, letting his fork drop into his half-eaten dinner. He just couldn't stomach food right now; the idea of eating made his stomach churn. He went over to the trashcan by his fridge and put his food into a plastic packet, hoping it could be salvaged by someone who found it. He threw the food into the trash and set the full bag outside of his door for pick up. He closed and locked his door again, wishing that he had reeled himself in a bit- Did he have no self-control? Did he not know how to behave? He felt like a wild animal running on instinct, no manners, and no obedience- No owner in sight, left to fend for itself.

Frank stood by his bed, the idea of sleep seemed a little far-fetched. His mind raced and he groaned, going to flop down onto his bed, hating himself a little bit more. He flopped down onto the bed, groaning at how difficult he had made it for himself, but his bed refused to do what it was supposed to do; the springs in the mattress giving out under him. Frank flailed with a yelp and went to grab at the comforter, scrambling as he rolled, pulling the blanket with him, making the bedding fall on top of him as he landed on the floor with a thud.

He landed on his face, chest, and stomach on the carpet rather violently, the sound of bouncing springs thrumming beside him like a laugh-track to his sad life. It was like hitting rock-bottom, this was probably the lowest he could go. After everything that had happened, there was no way he could get any lower than he was at that moment, half tangled up in his comforter with cheek against the carpet, his stomach and chest burning from possible carpet burns. This could not get any worse. Frank was sure of it. At least he had put his jeans on; that had to be something. Carpet burns on his stomach and chest were one thing, but at least he wasn't going to have to put up with a carpet burn on his dick. He refused to move, curled up into a ball on the carpet, blanket still tangled around his legs. He kept telling himself that tomorrow would be a new day and it hopefully wasn't going to go as badly as he thought it would.