XANDER

The weed and booze danced together in Xander's brain, making it hard to focus on his surroundings. Dimly lit backroom made it easier, but Xander's mind was still scrambled up. The initial euphoria disappeared, making room for some unresolved issues that crawled through him when his inhibitions were down.

Xander was so certain he had this life figured out. His career stable, his relationships settled. What a carefully built illusion.

"These chairs are so comfortable." Mia whispered, interrupting Xander's string of thoughts. Suddenly, a wave of comfort washed over him as he paid attention to the brown, leather chairs in the backroom.

Xander expected the backroom to be filled with papers, and empty bottles, neon lighting shattering everyone's illusion of a different era that lingered in the bar. The room was actually full of books, with wooden tapestry and animal-shaped details on the walls. Next to Xander, a cupboard full of expensive wine stood.

"I have a feeling I will never find this place again. We will walk out of it and I won't find it tomorrow morning." Mia murmured, attracting Xander's attention.

"Tomorrow morning." Xander laughed, remembering there is a 'tomorrow morning'- a scary place where he had to deal with whatever happened tonight.

"Tell me about her." Mia said suddenly.

"Annie?"

"Yes."

"I met her when I was twenty three and I thought I knew exactly what I wanted. I was about to finish college and had big plans for my career, and my life in general. Funny how that goes down the drain after a few years." Xander chuckled nervously.

Mia answered with an encouraging smile, which made Xander laugh because her eyes fluttered weirdly, due to the fact they were both wasted. And still drinking.

"You wouldn't be laughing if you saw what you looked like now." She murmured, grabbing the wine bottle. How the hell did they end up drinking wine? Wasn't it scotch and beer? Oh, goddamn.

"Anyway, Annie was twenty then, and she was working as a waitress at this small coffee and doughnuts place. I liked her, she was perky and energetic." Xander remembered Annie's small round face and her strawberry hair. "She had her whole life figured out. She wanted to work at a nails and cosmetics salon, close to her home. And she wanted her home to be near the kindergarten and school. She wanted to live in a perfectly drawn circle."

"How does a self-proclaimed risk-taker end up falling in love with someone so planned-out?" Mia didn't sound rude, or her intent wasn't to sound rude, but Xander still felt it as a jab.

"To risk sounding sexist, I liked the idea of being the man of the house, to be the ambitious one, to have a career, bring money to the table and all that crap." Xander shrugged.

"So, what changed?"

"I matured a bit more; boys are always late to that party. And I realised relationship is a partnership, and sometimes my own ambition isn't enough. I need my partner to stand by me, push me further. Annie was always satisfied with my job, whatever it was. She always said that the pay-check is good enough, that it's time to start a family and finally settle." Xander sighed, knowing it was time to stop talking about this. "Nothing was ever enough for me. I guess, that's what scares me the most. Would anything ever be enough?"

"When you find an answer to that, let me know." Mia saluted with the wine bottle. Xander noticed he was holding a glass of wine, as well.

"Where did this come from?" He whispered.

"Oh, when you're drunk, alcohol keeps showing up, it's miraculous." Mia smiled.

"What? And all this time I kept paying for it?"

"By the way, you owe the bartender a hundred dollars."

"Worth it."

First time in the evening, silence enveloped them. Awkward smiles ceased to disperse the tension and it seemed to be the time to face the music.

"So," Xander began, "what do we do now?" His heart picked up the pace. At the same time, he was afraid of what this all might mean, and afraid to let it go.

"Can I ask you a blunt question?" Mia leaned towards him. Xander nodded, a dull pain emerging at his temples. It truly was the time to go home. "Would this change anything?"

Xander's attention snapped back at Mia as he pondered over her question, but the answer was right there. He was in a relationship for the past three and a half years. One night wouldn't change anything.

"No. It doesn't change anything." Xander swallowed. "What about you?"

"I love Jeff." Mia answered immediately and Xander couldn't stop the tiny burst of disappointment that caught him off guard.

"So, that's it? We walk out of here and we never see each other again?"

"No phone numbers, no last names." Mia nodded.

Xander looked at his watch, remembering time existed.

"Well, it's five o'clock in the morning. How is this bar still open?" He asked. Mia got up slowly, her red blazer wrinkled and her hair messy.

"I didn't exclude the possibility that we're in an alternate dimension." She stumbled as soon as she stood on her two feet, Xander caught her by her forearm.

Mia lifted her gaze; she was suddenly so close. Xander stared into her blood-shot eyes, more beautiful than he could ever imagine.

"If this was an alternate dimension, I wouldn't feel guilty if I kissed you." Xander removed a strand of hair from her face, careful not to come too near, careful not to ruin the idea that this didn't mean anything.

"You'd still feel guilty." She cut him off with a stiff smile, turned her back to Xander and walked out of the backroom.

Morning light filled the empty bar, illuminating the leather seats and the wooden tables. The illusion was shattered. The sound of drizzle and chirping birds travelled through the bar, accompanied by the sound of a dishwasher. Xander and Mia waved to the bartender and finally exited to the wet street. The air was chilly and easy to breathe, it soothed Xander after drinking all night.

"Are you far from here?" Xander asked.

"Ten-minute walk."

"Do you want me to walk you home?"

"That would kind of defeat the purpose of not knowing anything about each other." Mia smiled, the light rain sparkling on her face.

"Let me accompany you to your block, at least." Xander offered.

"Alright." Mia gave Xander her bag, skipped ahead and Xander shook his head smiling. But he saw her in the morning light now, instead of the dimly lit bar. Xander wanted to dance with her through the rain, he wanted to walk her home and come upstairs. He wanted to drunkenly kiss her entire body, until sleep took them both.

But it wouldn't change anything.

Tomorrow, he would still love Annie and this would only destroy their relationship. Mia spun in the streets, enjoying the drizzle that wet her hair and her blazer. Her phone rang in her bag and he took it out.

"Ballerina, your phone." He called her. Mia ran for the phone and almost slipped and fell on the streets.

"Hello!" She answered, while swaying in the rhythm of a song that played only for her. "I'm in the rain! It's raining and it's beautiful!" Mia hung up.

"Okay, it's time to get you home. I hope that wasn't Jeff." Xander put his hand around her waist, to keep her from jumping around.

"It was my best friend, Lucy. She said something about calling me a lot." Mia mumbled, leaning into Xander's arm. Her hair smelt like rain and roses.

Xander appreciated her touch more than he should. He let himself enjoy the closeness of her body for a few moments more. This didn't change anything, he repeated in his head. But the words seemed worn out after a while. After a couple of minutes of stumbling through the streets, Mia stopped.

"My apartment is near. Thank you for this evening." Mia smiled sweetly; her eyes half-closed. Xander's stomach clenched at the idea that he would never see her again. But he knew it would only complicate his life and he couldn't handle it right now.

Mia leaned in and kissed his cheek, her soft lips leaving a trace that kept tingling long after she was gone. Xander watched her leave, using all of his self-control not to run after her. She turned around one more time and blew a kiss in his direction, Xander smiled, shaking his head. It was time to go to bed, to sleep it off and pretend it never happened.

Thoughts swirled through Xander's mind as he walked all the way to his house, the walk sobering him up completely. He stopped in place in front of his door.

It changed everything.