MIA

It was way too cold outside for the red, sleeveless dress and it was way too hot for the long-sleeved denim dress. Mia stared into the mirror, liking the black V-neck shirt and her tights. Her boobs looked good in the shirt.

"Where are you going?" Jeff came into the room and appeared in the mirror behind Mia. She glanced at him and then at the clock. It was 8pm.

"Out." She simply answered. Why she hadn't confronted him about anything, she didn't know. Maybe she was tired of trying to talk to him, when he wasn't trying one bit. Not once had he mentioned her kiss with Xander, no matter how many times Mia told him they should sit down and talk about it. He wanted to keep this charade going? Fine.

"With whom?" Jeff squinted suspiciously.

"Alone. Maybe Christa, she's probably drinking somewhere." Mia felt her heart beat steadily, but quickly. It predicted trouble where Mia's other senses were blind.

"I really don't like you spending time with Christa. She's a bad influence." Jeff said, crossing his hands over his chest.

"Thanks for the advice, but I don't really care." Mia took off the black long-sleeved shirt and grabbed the one with more revealing cleavage, also black.

"Seriously? Are you trying to look like a stripper?" Jeff asked, looking at the shirt she put on. There was no satisfying answer to that question, so Mia simply smiled. "Seriously, Mia, what has gotten into you? If you're trying to be more like Christa, maybe you should know that's not helping our situation."

"Yeah? And what's our situation, exactly?" Mia asked. If he wanted to fight now, she was more than willing to. Jeff stayed quiet. "That's what I thought."

"I don't understand, are you trying to teach me a lesson?" He inclined.

"Not every damn thing is about you, Jeff."

Jeff seemed dumbfounded and stared at Mia while she proceeded to the living room. Maybe she wanted to stir things up a bit, maybe she simply wanted to go out tonight. Or maybe she wanted to piss him off. All of those things were more than what he was doing to help their situation.

"It's Wednesday, Mia, what about work in the morning?" Jeff asked, following her around.

"Oh, that, I'm not coming back to work until Mathilda decides whether I'm fired or not." Mia smiled, she was satisfied with the outcome of that evet. Mathilda had no guts to fire her because of her father. At least something good came from him.

"What? Fire you? Are you insane?" Jeff raised his voice. "You need to go there and beg for your job! What is the matter with you?"

"Lower you voice, Jeff." Mia shushed him. "The only headache I need tonight is the hangover headache, so please."

"You're not yourself, Mia! Risking your future, risking your relationship..."

"Maybe you don't know me as well as you think." She cut him off.

"Excuse me?" He stopped in place. "Then tell me who you are. Because this woman is not the woman I decided to be with."

Mia laughed out loud, predicting something like this happening. As soon as she didn't behave exactly how he wanted, he would say some fucked up shit like that.

"By the way, I'm going to Milano with Christa in March." To hell with it all, if he wanted to be pissed, the least she could do was give him a good enough reason.

"What? For how long?"

"Two weeks."

"Mia!" Jeff shouted. "We agreed we would save our days off for the vacation during the summer."

"Yes, well, since you felt like you could book a wedding house without asking me, I decided I could spend my days off any way I wanted, without consulting you." Mia smiled, tempting him to say anything.

"How...?"

"Therese from Lucy's wedding. She recognised your name." Mia explained and grabbed her purse. Jeff gaped at her, his eyes and mouth wide opened.

"I thought you'd be happy." He said.

"About what? About not even giving me the right to decide whether I want to marry you? It's a good thing you need my signature to actually marry me." Mia was already halfway out the door.

"So," Jeff said, smirking, "that means you don't want to marry me."

"I want to have the right to decide and you need to have the decency to ask." Mia smirked back. She was tired of it all, so tired that the only thing she managed to feel was euphoria.

"I was going to ask." Jeff said, his face bathing in anger. For the first time, Mia felt like he had no right to be angry. She was the one who was supposed to be scathing.

"But you already decided I would say yes. Just like you decided what my best career choice was, and who my friends should be." Mia's laugh was brittle. "Honestly, Jeff, you don't even consider me a person, you think I'm just an extension of yourself."

Those words might have been harsh, but they needed to be said. She grabbed her denim jacket, deciding by herself that this was the end of that conversation. They would talk, but they would talk when she felt like talking. Because waiting for him to decide whether his tender heart was ready for a fight lead absolutely no where.

"I love you, Mia." He said, but his expression told a different story. There was no regret on it, no pain, and that was what tipped the scales.

"No, you don't. You love yourself."

"If you leave now, we're over!" He shouted, catching her by surprise. She halted for a moment and looked deep into his eyes. The ultimatums were not her weapon of choice and she hated when someone used them on her.

"See, this is the problem with empty threats. They tend to backfire." Mia smiled humourlessly.

"It's not an empty threat. If you leave this apartment now, the next time you come back will be to get your stuff." Jeff's eyes were cold, but Mia felt nothing but anger.

She looked straight into his eyes. Without another word, she turned on her heel and closed the door behind her. She rushed down the stairs, hearing Jeff shout after her. Perhaps he actually thought she would stay.

She wondered why had she been weak for so long. What drove her to such utter blindness? She didn't see what was happening in her relationship because she was inclined to believe he knew what was best for her. A whim, he'd say, everything out of the ordinary she did was always treated as a whim.

And for once, she realised why she stayed with him for so long. All this time, she was trying not to hurt his feelings, she was trying to keep him happy by being exactly what he wanted. Somewhere during, she lost herself. She forgot to trust herself and her instincts.

Her thoughts lead her to that same bar, where she met Xander all those nights ago. Maybe talking to Fred, the bartender, would shed some light on her own feelings. Or maybe some scotch would make her decisions for her.

She entered the dimly lit bar, enjoying the nostalgia that overwhelmed her. If nothing, this bar held a special place in her heart.

Mia's heart skipped a beat once she realised who was talking to Fred. The bartender nodded towards her and Xander turned around, an expression of confusion dominating his features. She took a deep breath and approached him, hoping he wouldn't tell her to get lost immediately. Couples needed closure, but the two of them needed it, too. The last time they saw each other, they were kissing in the alley behind the club. Not the most romantic goodbye.

A smirk danced on Xander's lips, but there was something else there. Relief? Her hand trembled as she offered it to him.

"No drama?" She asked and Xander looked over her suspiciously, but took her hand anyways.

"No drama." He smiled lightly, that same mischief that attracted her in the first place, reappearing in his eyes. No drama, but yes trouble, she thought and sat down.

"I was just telling Xander how magical this bar is." Fred winked and put the glass down. Mia nodded to the bottle of scotch he lifted and watched it fill her glass.

"Seems so." Mia smiled at Fred.

"I'll leave you two alone, now." He excused himself and went to serve other tables.

"So, what happened?" Xander asked, guessing that something happened correctly.

"I think I just broke up with Jeff," Mia frowned, "or at least something close."

"Because of...?" Xander gestured towards the two of them.

"No. I was at Lucy's wedding and found out that Jeff booked the wedding house for next year. For the two of us." Mia could see the smile forming on Xander's lips.

"But you two are not engaged?" A chuckle escaped from his throat.

"Nope." Mia confirmed and Xander did not hold the laughter in any longer.

"Oh, the audacity of this man!" Xander noticed Mia's lack of laughter and stopped immediately. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I want to do anything but talk about it. But let me just say this, I have mentioned so many times that I wasn't ready for marriage. Yet, he decided this was the right thing to do." Mia leaned onto her hands and grunted silently. But she had no strength left to fight the battles with Jeff.

"To risk being a douche, he's a piece of shit." Xander saluted and downed the scotch.

"I don't want to talk about it." Mia brushed it off, but she knew he was right. And she wasted two years on him, comforting him, taking care of him and listening to his bullshit.

"Let the cards speak for you." Xander said and took out the deck of cards, making Mia smile.

"I forgot about that."

"I hope you remember the rules." Xander wasted no time and picked a card. "Spades, drink!"

"Oh, I missed this game." Mia took a sip and smiled. The scenery made her feel all squishy inside, she remembered the thoughts that swirled through her head when they first met. How much she wanted him and how dangerous that was. But most of all, she remembered the feeling of being understood, because that was what Xander truly brought into her life.

"Diamonds, hmm, let me see." Mia thought of something personal to say. "It's hard for me to come up with something because it feels like you've already seen my dirty laundry."

Xander looked at her intensely, like he tried to communicate with his eyes.

"It can be anything." He said quietly and Mia felt his eyes on her even when she averted the gaze. How quickly everything went away when she spent time with him.

"When I'm with you..." Mia was shocked with how much courage it took to say it. "Everything feels easy."

Xander looked even more shocked and Mia suddenly felt like a schoolgirl, offering her heart on her sleeve. She knew deep down how complicated everything was, how challenging their situation was even if they were single. The circumstances under which they met were just too complex to ignore. But when they were together, it felt easy.

"Your turn." Mia said to the quiet Xander and he turned the clubs card to her.

"You're just saying that because everything else feels complicated." Xander bit his lip and Mia found herself wanting to kiss him again. Maybe because she thought she never would again. Mia took another card.

"And how does it feel for you?" She whispered, unsure which answer she wanted to hear. In the end, did it mean anything? Xander closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I cannot remember the last time something shook my world as much as you have. Whether it was because you shed light on my own dissatisfaction or something else, I don't know." Xander stopped mid-sentence, like he wanted to say more but decided against it. Mia didn't push it, instead she watched him take another card.

"What should we do now?" He asked, revealing hearts.

"I suggest drinking the night away," Mia smiled, "let's see where that takes us."

Xander leaned in and for a moment he was so close that Mia's heart skipped a beat. He removed a strand of hair from her face and she stopped breathing for a moment. Xander's earthly blue eyes were so close, his cologne reached Mia's nostrils and she felt a tingle climb up her spine at the thought of closing in the distance between them.

"The trouble awaits at the end of this evening." He whispered.

"I'm willing to risk it if you are."