"When last year.. you were..dating..Jeff Atkins," He pauses, his name hasnt been brought up in so long when i'm around and I thought I had gotten better and more.. numb to his death, but the warm tear going down my face is telling me otherwise,

"I'm sorry.. just Hannah being your best friend, and Jeff being your boyfriend.. it must've been very hard for you, I.. we are very worried for you, Miss Dempsey,"

"we?" i wonder aloud, The door opens, I turn to see my mom and Zach,

"Family therapy.. yay," I mutter in defeat,

"sweetie.." My mom says before the two of them sit next to me, i sigh,

"look, i dont know what the fuck you want from me-"

"we just want to talk," My mom says softly, I shake my head,

"no, why talk? you guys have had time to talk to me, 2 years ago when dad died. 20 months ago when jeff died, you couldve talked, 11 months ago when hannah died, you could've talked, but you know what? you didnt." i snap, tears threatening to fall down my face,

"the two, no, three of you couldve talked to me when my boyfriend, died, who I was fucking in love with, you couldve talked to me when my dad and my bestfriend since the fucking first grade, died, commit suicide," i stand up

"rachel-" my mom pleads, reaching her hand out for my arm,

"no." i yank it away, walking out into the hall, im sure everyone is staring at me as my mascara is running down my cheeks and im quietly sobbing, hysterically as I rush to the bathroom,

"Woah Rae," I hear a voice shout as I rush through the bathroom, locking myself in a stall as i sob into my hands, i hear footsteps run after me,

"Rae, whats wrong?" the deep voice asks me, im too hysterical to even ask him why is he in the girls bathroom, i hear more sets of footsteps rush through the door,

"What the fuck are you doing in here?" I hear my best friend, Jessica ask the dirty blonde boy outside of the stall,

"Come on babe, tell us whats wrong," I hear Sheris voice call to me,

"Did you do this to her?" Jessica snaps at Scott,

"No! I saw her crying so i ran after her," he explains, I get enough courage to stand up, and unlock the stall and I go into the closest set of arms I see, and coincidentally its the boy, i wrap my arms around him and I sob into his chest, nuzzling my head into it, he immediately wraps his arms around me, rubbing small circles on my back, I hear Jess and Sheri awwwing but i dont care, i just stand there, just inhaling the boy's cologne as I'm against his warm chest, once I calm down I let go of the hug and I get the courage to tell them whats wrong. "I miss Hannah.. and J-jeff.." I choke on my words, Sheri embraces me in a hug and the four of us just stand there, for god knows how long.

I was driving and then I see a bunch of paramedics and cop cars, I slowly drive around and see a knocked over stop sign, I see two pretty damaged cars, I glance once more at the cars and I realize that, that car.. its jeffs.. i immediately stop my car and I run out, I see the cops, Clay and the paramedics talking.. I run up to what looked like Jeffs car.. I see Jeffs lifeless body, his head was covered in blood, i scream at the sight of it, "No!" I shriek, tears immediately falling down my face, trying to open the door, Clay and paramedics and cops rush up to me, a cop pulls me away and sets me down, my knees give out and I fall to the ground, Clay wraps his arms around me and I sob as they break open the door, pulling Jeffs body out of the car, checking his pulse, doing cpr, pulling out all these things, they tried tons of things, nothing worked, he was gone, my boyfriend was gone, and there was nothing i could do.. he was gone.. I watch them put his body into a bag, my cries and screams get louder, and I lay there, in Clay's arms for what feels like an eternity..

I walk through my home doors and I go straight to my room, I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling as i think about Jeff and Is first everything... our first date..

"Two Cokes and a bucket of popcorn, please." Jeff asks, Hannah nods, adding it to the order then looking at me and winking at me, i roll my eyes playfully as Jeff looks down at me, giving me a nervous smile as if he was as nervous as i was, I smile back, we went into the movie theatre and of course he picked a horror movie, so cliché, i thought it wouldnt be scary but i jumped into Jeffs arms, nuzzling my face into his chest so many times..

Our first kiss..

Clay and I were just talking on the bleachers when Jeff comes up to us, scaring the shit out of me, he laughs and then he kisses me, by surprise as if Clay werent right there, obviously kiss back, "thats new.." Clay says, we chuckle pulling away.

and our first i love you..

we were stargazing and I was currently on top of him, admiring eachothers features, then out of no where, "i love you." he says, i smile, "i love you, too." our lips connect and he kisses me.

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