It was that moment when I realized: I was lost. I looked up with the knowledge that I didn't know anyone, I didn't know any places, I didn't know anything. I had no one to go to, no where to hide. I was stuck out in the open with no barrier. No safety. Nothing. I had nothing. Not even myself. I couldn't ever rely on myself to get through this, to find where I belong. I'm nothing. I always have been, and now I know. Now I know just how little I mean to society, my friends, my family, my home. I'm lost, I'm alone, and I'm scared.

They don't care, they never will, I know I shouldn't, but I care. I care that I'm nothing to them, I care that I'm invisible. I don't want to be lost. I want to be home. I want to be home, safe, surrounded, loved. I care so much about them I want them to care about me, why don't they?

Is it my personality? Am I too outgoing? Too caring? Annoying? Am I attention seeking? I don't try to be. I don't want to be, but maybe I am. Maybe I am a little too loud. Maybe I am a little too protective. Maybe I am annoying, or attention seeking. Maybe I'm supposed to be lost.

Should I stay lost? Should I keep looking for my home? My family? I don't know. Would staying with the ones who don't care keep me from knowing if I even have a place that I am important? Probably, but do I want to know if I do or not? What if I don't? Then what will I do? Be lost? Be alone? I don't want to be lost, but do I have a choice?

I'm beginning to think I don't. I am here. I am lost. And I will stay. If I'm not supposed to be lost, someone will find me.