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Justin Bieber

"I'm not gay" I mumbled.

"kissing guys don't make you gay Justin? having sex with guys doesn't make you gay? falling in LOVE with a guy doesn't make you gay!?" Jason exclaimed. He grabbed my hand. "Don't do this"

I pulled my hand away and put it in my pocket. "Jason I'm not gay...let's just be friends again"

"I don't wanna be friends with you, I don't want you to fucking call me when you need me, tell me you want me to hold you, kiss you when you needed love and compassion. You broke me Justin. I want nothing to do with you" he spat. I made a fist, my nails digging into my skin.

"W-well fuck you!" I cried.

"have a nice life Justin" he slammed my door.

I fell to my knees and sobbed. I fucked up. Big time.

That was six months ago. I understand why Jason left. I was a closeted homophobic gay. He didn't deserve the pain I caused him. Its fucked what I did. I wish I could make it up to him.

After that day I decided to get my shit together. I came out to my parents, I knew they were going to disown me. But I have to learn to love myself, regardless of what they think.

I started going to therapy, the gym, I started singing again. I just began to put this internalized anger into something.

I got a job at this coffee shop which is going really well. Made friends with my co-workers. My manager asked me out but I'm still not over Jason.

The bond I had with Jason, I just can't find with anyone else. Till I do, I guess I'm single.

"Justin, go work your tables" Abel spoke. I shot my head up. I forgot I was working.

"Yes my bad" I stumbled walking over to take their order.

"Hi welcome to-" I stopped mid sentence. I dropped the menus. "J-Jason" I mumbled. He looked up at me. He was taken back.

"J-Justin" he stumbled. He turned to the man sitting in front of him, then back at me. "Justin...how are you" he faked a smile. I know Jason's fake smile.

"Hi,excuse me" I picked up the menus from the floor.

"Justin, this is um-this is jerry" Jason trailed. "my-" he was cut off shortly by who I assume is jerry.

"His boyfriend-it's very nice to meet you, Justin is it?" He put his hand out. I let out a awkward chuckle. Boyfriend.

"Yes, and I will be your waiter today, let's start off with drinks...what would you like?"

I already know Jason's order

Carmel Latte

"Can I get a Carmel latte?" He asked.

"And for you?" I asked jerry.

"A black coffee should be fine" I nodded and wrote it in my pad. I'm probably shaking like a animal. How embarrassing.

"Ok I'll be back" I faked a smile. I walked to the kitchen and immediately let my smile fell. "Fuck" I hit the wall.

"Justin?" A female voice rang. "You okay?"

"Mariana" I grabbed her.

"Ouch Jay!" She exclaims.

"J-Jason's here...with his boyfriend" I grabbed the tip of my hair.

"Omg uhh-do you want me to handle that table"

"I already have their orders! H-he still drinks Carmel lattes...I put him on to Carmel lattes. It's his favorite" I mumbled ripping the order out.

"Okay go to the bathroom- and take your break, tour shift started a few hours ago I know Matthew won't be mad"

"That's going to look bad" I groaned. "I miss him. I miss looking at his face. I miss his presence Mariana."

"I know but he has a boyfriend now...we gotta let this one go babe" she rubbed my shoulder. "How about, you take a second. I'll give them the coffee and you finish off waiting the table. To show you are stronger than your emotions."

"Right jay!?"

"Nooooo" I trailed.

"Go! I'm serving their coffee, chill out!" She grabbed the orders. She's right. I ran to the bathroom and looked in the mirror.

"Shit" I splashed my face with water. I was taken back by a light tap on my shoulder.

"About back there" Jason mumbled.

"Oh that- it was nothing" I brushed past it.

"I never wanted you to find out this way"

"I mean I was eventually Jase" fuck "Jason" I corrected.

"You look good, I see you got a job...you look healthier...happier" he trailed.

"I um...six months ago- I um...I was lying to myself" I sighed. "I came out to my parents, they weren't pleased but fuck their views I guess...I gotta learn to love myself..well I am now- I'm rambling I'm sorry" I awkwardly laughed.

"No no it's fine, I miss hearing you ramble" he chuckles. I miss that smile. "New tattoo?" I asked. It looks like J...I'm guessing it's for Jerry. "J for jerry right?"

"I mean, yeah" he tried hiding it.

"No...no that's great jase" shit force of habit "Jason" I corrected.

"Well um, I'll let you get to it...we're about order anyway so"

"Yeah yeah, I'm just washing my face" I ran my fingers through my hair.

"It's um..really great to see you Justin"

"Yeah you too" I smiled. Before he walked out the bathroom, Jason pulled me into his arms and hugged my tightly. I hugged back. I miss being held in his arms. I took him for granted. I don't even deserve his affection. Even if it's for pity.

He rubbed my back and took a deep breath before pulling away. He gave me a soft smile before leaving the bathroom.

Shit. His scent. I smelled my shirt getting one last whiff of him. All his old sweaters lost his smell. I still wear it at night though because they make me feel protected...loved.

I know I can never get that again with Jason. Seeing him with another man shift things into perspective, especially that tattoo.

I walked out the bathroom and went back to the table. "Alright guys what can I get ya?" I faked a smile.

"Can I get a pumpkin pie?" Jerry asked.

"Of course, and for you?" I turned to Jason. He didn't even check menu he knows what he wants already.

Brownie "Brownie please" I nodded and walked off.

"Uh pumpkin pie and brownie...warm the brownie up for me please" I asked Mariana. She gave me a warm smile before nodding.

As I waited for their orders I couldn't help but sneak a glimpse at Jason. Did he tell jerry about us? does he miss me like I miss him? is he in love with him?

"Justin!" Mariana yelled.

"S-sorry" I awkwardly grabbed the plates. She rolled her eyes before glaring at me. "Mariana please don't give me that look"

She turned her eyes away waiting for her next order. I sighed and gave them their plates. "Oh I'm sorry can I take this to go?"

"Of course, yours too?" I asked Jason.

"Nah I'm just gonna finish it here" I nodded and grabbed Jerry's pie to be taken in a to go box. Once I placed it in the box I handed it to jerry,

"You got the bill right jase?" He asked. Jase

"Yup" Jason took a bite of his brownie. His face changed as he chewed it. I know he likes them soft and warm. Jerry kisses the side of his head and gave me a wave goodbye.

"Would you like anything else?"

"What time do you get off?" He asked.

"But what about-"

"What time Justin?" he persisted

"In like a hour why?"

"I-I wanna talk to you..."

"Y-you do?" I questioned.

"I'll order more stuff just, tell me when you get off okay?"

"I um-okay"  I scratched the back of my neck. I don't think I can wait a whole hour to hear what he has to say to me. "Another brownie then?"

"Yes" Jason nodded.

~>~>~>

This has probably been the longest hour of my life . Jason tipped me and Mariana. I clocked out and turned to Mariana before panicking.

"Shit omg he's probably gonna let me have it, what if he cheats on jerry with me!? Would I stop it!? What if he just-"

"what if he wants to rekindle that bond? Friendship wise..." Mariana trailed. "I love you Justin, follow tour heart ok? Just make sure if he's with another man that you stop it before it goes to far. Respect his relationship"

"You're right" I sighed. She gave me a hug and a smack on the back.

"Get your man" she whispered.

I laughed before exiting out of the shops back. I went out through the front and saw Jason waiting for me patiently in the front.

"You live close?"

"Uh I usually take the train home"

"I'll drive you" he whips his keys out. I felt tingles in my stomach. What does he want?

It was a short walk to his car. I absentmindedly bumped into Jason. I used to do that when I wanted him to hold my hand. I apologized to him but his smirk made me want to continue to try him

No respect his relationship

Then again i don't owe him loyalty Jason does

Don't justify it, it's fucked up

Yeah it's fucked up. I sat in the front seat holding my phone tightly. I felt a buzz it was Mariana of course. I was to scared to read it.

"What's your address?" He rasped.

"Oh 832 water street" I spoke. He nodded before pulled off. I analyzed his car. It smells like him. Nothing suggests that he has a boyfriend. No condoms, no towel, no picture of them. Stop Justin

"Jason...what did you want to talk about?"

"when I was in the cafe...I rehearsed in my head a million times what I was going to say to you. I had a hour to practice and get the jitters out but- it's so hard to admit it"

"Admit what?"

"That I'm still in love with you" he rushed.

"What about-"

"He's not my boyfriend Justin- he's my closest friend. He knows about you and a few months back. He noticed that I was at a lost for words and boyfriend was the first thing that came to his head..jerry is straight"

"But he kissed your head"

"He's comfortable with his sexuality, he knows what he is"

"The tattoo?"

"The j isn't for jerry...it's for Justin" he sighed.

"Jason I-"

"Let me talk ok, I had a lot to think about- I didn't think that I would run into you today. I came here to talk with jerry about moving and starting something new because I couldn't get you out my head and I saw you...and my heart started rushing and my hands started sweating and I heard your voice I almost went insane...that's why I hugged you so tight in the bathroom because I didn't think I'd have another opportunity- but I'm taking a chance. A risk."

"A r-risk"

"Justin I-" he paused.

"I love you" I interrupted. "I am completely and fully in love with you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize. I was such a dick and I didn't realize how amazing we truly were. I had to get my shit together in hopes that you could forgive me and be together"

Jason pulled up in front my apartment. "I love you too Justin" he smiled softly. "I love you so much" he caressed my face. His eyes were watery. "Please don't hurt me again"

I kissed his lips softly. I missed the way he taste, he smelled, how soft his lips were, how perfect they fit on top of mine. I felt fireworks just like the first time. I closed my eyes enjoying this prolonged kiss. I felt safe.

I pulled away rubbing his chin. "Never again-I promise"

Awe this was sweet, I changed the ending lmfao so your welcome 🤍