Justin Bieber

Am I really gonna do this? My nails dug into my skin. I looked down at the view. One jump and I'm done. For good. It's probably worth it, I don't belong here.

My parents don't support my sexuality so I'm dead to them, I'm drowning in student loans, I'm getting evicted from my apartment, I just lost my job. It's like I'm dealing with all these obstacles and I have to face it alone.

I don't think I can handle it anymore, I've been staying with Jason for a few days but he doesn't know what's going on.

Jason....I didn't even think about how this would effect him. He'll probably be better without me. Find a friend whose like himself. We're complete opposites I don't even know how we've been so close for so long, since we were in diapers.

That's why Jason's parents were happy to take me in when my parents kicked it out.

Flashback

I rang the door bell, I rubbed the back of my neck trying to stop myself from crying. I don't want Jason to think I'm some wimp especially when I just cane out.

"Hey Jay" Jason opens the door. I look up at him. His face turns concerned. "What happened?"

"T-they kicked me out" I forced a smile. I can't cry, please don't cry. I then felt Jason pull me into his arms.

"It's okay yo cry Justin" I then let my held up tears drop and I held Jason tightly. "You can stay here with me" he kisses the top of my head.

I smiled at the memory. Jason was always tender and passionate when it comes to me. We aren't just friends but we aren't in a relationship either. We just have this unspoken agreement that we can't be with anyone else if we treat each other romantically.

This all happened after I started staying with him.

Flashback

I made my bed on the floor grabbing a pillow from Jason's bed. He was currently brushing his teeth in the bathroom. I grabbed my phone and laid on my temporary bed.

I scrolled through Instagram and sighed. "Jay? What you doing on the floor?" Jason asked as he took his shirt off. I'm used to seeing him shirtless at this point but it always seems to takes my breath way.

"What you mean?" I asked.

"This is our room now, you can't sleep on the floor the whole time"  he lays on his bed. "C'mere" he taps beside him. I mean it's just Jason. I grabbed the pillow and laid next to him. "You aight?" He asked.

"Just...lost"

"You know I'm always here right?"

"Yeah" I smile and face him. Next thing I know Jason placed a kiss on my lips. "J-jase" I whimper.

"J-Justin I love you" he admits.

I felt a tear drop from my eye. Jason. We aren't going to get the happy life we always envisioned. The life we promised each other after these hard times past. I don't even think I'm worth it..to be happy.

When I'm with Jason I feel so selfish, because with him it's only when I feel sane. He gives me the power to keep going, but lately it's been so hard. It's been so hard. Ever since I started staying with him, we've been arguing and I don't have the courage to tell him what I've been hiding.

yet he always apologizes.

Flashback

I closed the bathroom door and sighed letting my back touch the back of the door.

Another argument. Jason is my safe space why is this happening? I don't want him to get tired of me then leave. I can't take another person leaving. Especially him.

Anyone but him

"Jay?" He turns the doorknob.

"Jason please, I just want to be alone" he stops turning it. I hear him sit down by the door.

"I'm sorry I snapped on you" he whispered "I shouldn't be all up in your business. I just want to know why you've been so distant Justin....."

"Do you not love me anymore?" He asked. I immediately opened the door. Jason stood up. He looked sad.

"Jason.." I trailed. "I love you more than anything in the world. You're my soulmate" he grabs my face and kisses my lips passionately.

He's not very good with articulating his words, he's more of a physical lover.

I wiped the tears and prepared myself to jump. One leap, and everything goes away. The one thing that's just holding me back is- "Jason?" I asked once a figure is standing by my side.

"yes?" He asked unconcerned of the fact that he's on top of a cliff.

"What are you doing here!?" I exclaim. "You need to go!"

"If you jump I jump" he shrugs.

"You're crazy"

"I know"

"Jason, you can't do this" I plead.

"And neither can you Jay, can we talk please? And not by a fucking cliff" he grabs my hand. I hesitantly follow him but I stopped in my tracks.

"Jason, I can't take the pain of living anymore. If you love me..you'll let me go"

"Let's make a deal" he releases my hand. "If I can't convince you to keep living...we can jump together. I'm putting my life on the line. So can you hear me out?" I sigh and nod.

"Justin. I know what's going on"

"W-what do you mean?" I scratch the back of my neck nervously.

"I know that you got evicted and lost your job- you applied from unemployment"

"Jason I-"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked. I don't know, I've been relying on Jason my whole entire life. I have to be a adult at some point.

"Because Jason I cant rely on you forever! I've been relying on you since we can walk"

"That's the point Justin! That's why we're in these dysfunctional ass relationship! I love you Justin don't you fucking get it! I wouldn't just kill myself for anyone"

"Jason-"

"No you listen, Justin Bieber I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember. Do you really think I'm just gonna let the only stable and healthy thing in my life just go? We can do this together!" He exclaimed "you can live with me forever Justin, I'll help you find a job, I'll help you with your student loans. Justin I will figure everything out...just let me in baby"

"I can't stress you out like this"

"You're not stressing me out Justin because I want to do this. I want to see you happy, I wanna see you doing good. I want us to get married Justin. You can't leave me. We haven't even started a family yet" Jason's eyes watered.

"Please?" He pleads grabbing my cheeks. I wrap my arms around him. He held me tightly. I let out a sob and so did he.

"Don't ever be this selfish again you hear me!?"

"o-okay"

"I fucking love you j-Justin" Jason cries

"I-love you too"

and for once in my life, I felt secured