It started happy. I tried so hard.

(What I'm listening to: Misery Business -- Paramore)

~ Akita

--------------

"I love you," she says for the first time. She means it, and it feels right to be saying it to the blue-eyed girl.

"I love you," she mutters into the shoulder of her lover, trying to force the bad thoughts out of her head. Only fighting back for the one who cares.

"I love you," she repeats into the darkness for the millionth time in a row. Blue orbs shine back at her as she stares with tear-filled eyes, simply wanting her love to know that what she says is true.

"I love you," she breathes against the lips of her beloved, fingers tangled in blonde hair. The phrase doesn't need to be returned. She already knows.

"I love you," she says as her newly-wed wife pulls her closer. It's their first night living together as a married couple, and she couldn't be happier.

"I love you," she calls into the living room as she grabs her keys and starts out the door for work. Already looking forward to coming home and crashing on the couch with her wife.

"I love you," she cries softly, squeezing the life out of her hospitalized lover's hand. And while she wouldn't tell, she wishes with all of her being that they could swap places.

"I love you," she screams at a closed casket, hoping that all of this were simply an ongoing nightmare. That maybe she'll wake up and everything will be okay.

"I love you," she whispers to a gravestone. And she'll never say it to anyone else.