Actually, marami akong ganitong compilations. Tungkol sa mga paghihirap ko at malulungkot na bahagi sa buhay ko. Pero baka kasi maloka kayo dahil puro malungkot ang simula ng stories ko kaya 'wag na xd.

Btw, this one-shot is for those people around me that doesn't even realize how broke I am on the inside.

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(June 30, 2022)

Demons Inside

Do you ever feel like sitting on a balcony at night and listening to sad music while it rains?

People say the sad songs make you feel even sadder and push you into a worse and deeper spiral. But for me? Sad music helps me understand my emotions more. It makes me feel better and lessens the pain I'm carrying.

Napabuntong hininga ako.

I'm tired, so tired.

I feel like an empty shell with nothing left inside me.

"They never notice my tears, my sadness, and my pain. But they all notice my mistakes."
- unknown

My life is slowly changing for the worst and all I can do is stare as the web I have woven for years to preserve my attitude start to shatter.

I'm tired of listening to their judgment and expectations anymore.

Every second of the day I enjoy imagining things without limitation. I'm a daydreamer! I love creating utopian stories with unique happy endings.

That's why when it comes to reality I fuck up.

I'm tired of always being blamed, I'm tired of being yelled at, and I'm so tired of crying and screaming for comfort, but no one seems to notice.

If I die, don't come crying in front of my grave. Sad and heartbroken, saying that you love me. Because that's what I wanted to hear when I was still alive.

But don't worry I will never end my life, I have a lot of ambition to achieve.

I just want to get rid of the pain inside me. The reason why I'm telling you this.

I'm tired of not being able to eat a full meal.
I'm tired of not having the energy to take a shower.

Every single day feels the same. Same routine, same faces, same thoughts. I feel like it's a never-ending loop.

I'm tired of giving my all and never being enough. I'm tired of changing for people who don't even notice my change. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and not recognizing myself.

I don't want to undergo where my sadness turns into rage and end up turning everyone away from me.

So please help me destroy the demons inside me.

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