(April 17, 2021)

I can clearly remember that this one-shot is inspired by Marem and Achilles' story, the sun's heartbeat. And some lines here are from the song 'love is gone' comment section on YouTube.

---------

Love Is Gone

I was inside the church.

Silently watching the woman in white, who was slowly walking toward the altar. Holding a white flower while smiling.

It hurts when the person you trusted and treated like a real friend, is also one of the people you wouldn't expect to betray you.

I turned my gaze to the man waiting at the end of the altar.

I was shocked and nervous when our eyes met. Not because it was my first time seeing him after years but because of the way he looked at me.

It's like his bloodshot eyes telling me that If I do something stupid he'll make sure I'll pay double for what I'm going to do.

I immediately avoided his eyes.

I run with the energy I left just to get out of this place.

The rain started to pour. I could not move in the middle of the towering buildings. My floral gown was slowly soaked by the rain.

Like a spear of arrows, one by one the memories I have long buried in oblivion come back to me...

I used to like him, I used to call him mine, and I used to be his fiancè--- back when I was young.

Back when everything is fine.

Now, I believe that life is not just ironic but also a book with a mysterious genre.

It's hard to turn the page when you don't know what will happen next, that someone you treasured a lot might not be in the next chapter. But you do not have a choice, you have to flip the page because the story must go on.

I closed my eyes, preventing my tears from falling.

I was thankful that it was raining, no one noticed that I was crying.

It's so hard to fall in love with someone who can't be yours.

I always ask myself... why out of a billion beating hearts in this damn universe, why did I fall for the one that didn't beat for me??

I loved him, and I still do. Why can't I just get him out of my mind? And I'm tired of thinking about him and knowing that he's happy with someone else...

I never did anything wrong but tried my best to be perfect for him. But In return, he left me hanging without even explaining. And that is the most painful goodbye I experienced.

If what's best for you no longer includes me, then I'll be happy to step away.

Years ago, when I fell in love with him, he already had someone. I hope when I see him again in the future, I can also find someone.

Someone that loves me more than he did.

So I can face him with a big and bright smile.

And can say directly to his face that I have already moved on.

--------------------- -------------------- -----
---------------------------------------------------------