Chapter 19

I was not bothered for a while when I was in the car. Fortunately, Shruthi was there too. She spoke to my mom and told her that we are planning a girl's night out. Another lie. I feel more anger towards myself than I do towards him.

I was not supposed to let my feelings take over me. I should have made sure he really broke up with her. I should have known him better. I shouldn't have blindly trusted him. I was ready to give myself up for him. What the fuck was I thinking?!

I should have listened to my mother. She was and is always right. Though she gave me the heads up on everything I turned a blind eye. Even Shruthi was warning me. I feel guilt, just so much guilt. I keep crying and crying and crying. Somehow Shubham gets dragged into this and he sits there in the car. All are silent. They must be even scared to ask anything and I don't even want them to ask anything.

"Don't ask me anything. I will tell you what I want, take it or leave." Those are harsh words, but those are the words my mind is able to form.

"Aarav is still dating Isha . She came to the house saw me with Aarav and thought I was the reason he was cheating on her and he ran after her to console her." I leave out the rest of the details. I could see Shruthi and Dhruv boiling with anger. But Shubham on the other hand had a neutral expression.

"We both will get something to eat," Dhruv says after parking the car to the side. Shruthi and he leave, while Shubham was left in the car.

"You are angry at yourself," Shubham says as he fidgets nervously with his bag.

"No am not." I lie to him straight through my teeth.

"Then you wouldn't leave out the detail about the finger marks on your face. Because you feel that you deserve it." He voices out my deepest secret. Yes... That slap was enough to bring me to my consciousness. I could feel water pool down my eyes. I did deserve that slap... I was supposed to know what is good and what is bad, but my choices were poor. They were wrong. I dug my own grave.

"It is not your fault," Shubham says again. I look at him agape. He continues.

"It is not your fault to like someone. It is not your fault when someone lies to you. It's not your fault when you believe someone with the whole of your heart. It is not your fault for not knowing better. It's not your fault to get slapped by someone. It is not your fault because you can't make proper decisions for yourself. Because you are a human. Humans are the only animals who do stuff no one understands. Even the one doing has no right explanation themselves." He says looking everywhere but at me.

"Am a bad person Shubham... I did wrong things I know that. I did them even if I shouldn't do." I say feeling really bad about myself.

" I fell for someone without knowing their true colors. I lied to my mom. I got myself labeled as a cheater. I am a bad influence on people." I say as clouds of darkness surround me.

"You believe in people despite everything, you lied to your mom because you didn't want her to get hurt. You were never a cheater, you didn't even know. You help me so so much. You are the reason I even have friends in college. You saw the human in me that no one saw. My mom loves you more than anything. You will never be a bad influence... You will be someone who took the wrong decision and can change that by taking one right decision."

"One Right Decision," I repeat his words. I ponder over his words.

Yes, I was wrong. I made decisions I shouldn't have made. I made decisions in the past not wanting to be wrong, but now I am kind of relieved that I understand when decisions turn wrong. They turn wrong when I deal with a situation with the wrong emotion. I knew where I needed to go.

"Dhruv!" I call out from the car. He comes running towards me with concern in his eyes. "Take me to this address!" I say shoving my phone into his face.

It will be a bit of a long drive. It is time I make the right decision.

"Saumya! It is not what you think it is!" My mom tries to calm me as I throw every item that is in my sight.

"No! It can never ever be!" I say stomping around as I try to understand what my mom is saying. She wants to marry someone else. No, she can't! Never she can never! That right wholey and soley belongs to my dad.

"No! I said no." I tell her again and again.

"It's ok we can talk it out." My mom starts to persuade me.

"I told no!" I shout straight in her face.

"It's ok Radha!" She needs time to process she is still a kid. He comes behind to touch my mom.

"Don't touch her!" I say my eyes going red. With the same anger, I run back to my room.

I never saw him again after that. It's been three years and I still see my mom reminiscing him, while she looks at his photo on her phone. She thought I would never know. Tears started trickling down my eyes. I try to imagine how the conversation would go.

Why would I deserve love when I broke off two people who were really in love?

"Where are we, Saumya?" Shruthi asks skeptically once we reach the house.

"You guys stay in the car," I tell them and go near the door of this huge but old house. I hope he didn't find someone new.

I ring the bell twice and I wait for the door to open. A lady about my mom's age opens the door.

"Is Rajesh uncle here?" I ask through tear-filled eyes.

But the lady in front of me looks at me questioningly." There is no Rajesh here stop bothering." The lady says closing the door in my face. My heart cracks. The guilt starts pulling me in.

"Please don't pay heed to my wife she is hot-headed." A voice startles me. I look at the old man standing in front of me confused.

"Rajesh Sir used to live here. Until he moved out. I worked under him for a while. Until he had to move out because things didn't work out-"

"With my mother." I end his sentence and he looks at me shook,

"You are Radha ma'am Daughter!" He asks his face shocked.

"Yes," I nod my head through tears.

"Come with me." He says smiling at my face.

"You are in luck. Rajesh Sir came back from his job today."He says his words don't make any sense.

"He left the country because he didn't want to trouble you. This house has his mother's memories. So he comes back every year once to visit this house." He says as he takes me through a lot of trees and I walk behind him with hope.

I could hear the movement of a river nearby and saw him sitting by the river his hands folded as he looked at the sky with pure sadness evident in his eyes.

"Rajesh Sir. You have a guest."

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Nooooo! I won't leave you hanging. Cue the next chapter-

~Author