I'm SO sorry for the incredibly long wait! I don't blame you if most of you don't end up reading this since it's been like a year! I'm suddenly so busy but it's finally half term at school so I found the time to write this for y'all! Hope you enjoy, not sure how many chapters there are left!

The whole castle was holding its breath. River Altaïre could hear it in the whispers in the corridors, see the suspicion written in every line of every face he passed. Tension filled the castle so thickly it was difficult to breathe, and near impossible to smile.

And worst of all, he was part of it. He hadn't meant to be, he hadn't, he had tried to keep his head down like Cedric always told him to, but somehow he had become just as tangled in the web of treachery as everyone else. The King was recovering, it was said, and of course the Lords and Ladies rejoiced to hear it, but River knew better. He had seen their faces when they thought no-one else was looking, for none of them thought to hide their feelings from a mere servant like him, and a jester's apprentice at that. He had seen the doubt in their eyes, and he knew what they were thinking.

What if Camelot was better off without the madman at its head?

It took all of his energy to smile brightly at the guard at his door as he made his way back to his room, threw the paper he'd fetched onto the pile accumulating on Cedric's desk, and went into his room. There was much to think about, much to do. Lately, he had begun to feel as though he was trapped, pulled in so many different directions that he didn't know which way to turn; Cedric, Amelia, Azric, Evelyn and now this.

Lost in thought, he watched as the rose coloured clouds in the east faded to blue, then to ash. By the time they had disappeared into the darkness altogether, he had made up his mind.

It seemed lies were the only way to survive in this castle. Honesty that had killed Amelia, it could just as easily kill him. No more watching, no more waiting. It was time to act.

———

"I think I know what happened to her". No, that made him sound too culpable. That wasn't to say that he hadn't had a part in it, of course he had, and he hated himself for it. He could have prevented this whole thing had he only had a little more courage. Still, he was helping now, wasn't he? I could have saved her. I could have saved her if I wasn't so scared. Not so long ago, he wouldn't have hesitated to tell someone, but after Amelia... well, secrets were safer than the truth. Safer for you, you mean. She could have died.

By the time Tiv reached the court physician's chambers, his stomach was churning. How would she react when she saw him? He supposed she had a right to hate him after what he had done, how selfish he had been, and yet he hated the thought of it. Pushing the thought from his mind, he knocked before his good sense returned.

"Aestivus?" the old man looked surprised. "You'd best come in. She's sleeping at the moment." Sure enough, he found Lady Amber on the spare bed, unconscious. Gaius returned to the book he had been studying, leaving Tiv and Amber alone. He was grateful at least that she was sleeping, so she wouldn't have to hear what he was about to say. Guilt throbbed in his heart at the result of his cowardice. But he would stay silent no more. It may not be too late.

"Gaius?"

He raised his head, eyebrow raised in silent question. "Is something the matter?"

Tiv bit his lip, hesitating. "I might know what happened to Lady Amber". Idiot, no you definitely sound responsible. It was too late to stop now, however. "I found this in her wine, the day she... she..." he looked down, unable to meet the physician's eyes, and opened his hand to show him. Resting in his palm was a marble, no wider than his thumbnail and such a dark shade of grey it was almost black, but streaked with swirls of brilliant orange, red, pink and ash that shimmered, seeming to move in the light of the candles as though the candles themselves were inside it.

When he raised his eyes again, the physician seemed pale, staring at the object in his hand. "Then it is worse than I feared."He stared sharply at Tiv. "What were you thinking, keeping this to yourself? She could have died, she still could die!"

"I know, I-"

"Aestivus! You don't understand, this is," he lowered his voice, glancing at the door, "this is magic, and I'm sorry, but I must tell the King".

He should have seen it coming, should have known this would be the price he paid for his honesty - a death sentence at the hand of the kingdom he was trying to save. He backed away, shaking his head, desperate. "No, Gaius, please, you can't..."

"I'm sorry Tiv, I know as well as you do how he will react, but if I don't tell him he will find out from his own sources and we will both die. You did the right thing to tell me - this way at least I can still save Lady Amber. That is why you came, is it not? That is what you wanted?"

"Of course, but... I have a life here, people I care about, I can't just leave-"

"You can and you will." The older man's expression hardened. "I'll tell Uther at sunset. You have until then to disappear."

So he left, reeling. Deep down, he supposed, he'd known the cost of the truth. A life for a life. Better mine than hers. At the door, he paused to cast one last glance at her, nodding to himself.

Yes, this was for the best.

Thank you for reading and sorry again for the wait! I'd love to say I'll publish another chapter soon and hopefully I will but I can't promise anything! I really enjoyed writing this though! I hope you enjoyed reading it - don't forget to PM me if you want your character to do something! Sorry I'm so inconsistent with character appearances but dw Definitely-Lost Tiv is back!