"That's the third time.." Natasha said as Steve walked down the stairs. "She doesn't like me anymore. I was always the one tucking her in. I'm not bringing you next time." Natasha said, pouting at him a bit from the coach. Steve chuckled. He walked over to her, sitting down next to her and letting her hand lay on her right thigh. "Lila loves you." Steve said, smiling at Natasha. "She loves you so much that she's almost threatening me every time I tuck her in." Steve said, still chuckling a little. "What do you mean?" Natasha asked, looking at him curiously. "I can't say. It's a secret." He said, shrugging a bit before he gave her a boyish grin. Natasha rolled her eyes before kissing his lips. "I guess I'll just have to trust you then." Natasha said, smiling a bit. Steve looked at her for a few seconds, taking in everything beautiful about her the same way you do while watching a sunset or sunrise. Natasha glanced at the clock. "Maybe we should just go to bed as well. I'm a bit tired." Natasha said, leaning her head back at the couch. Steve nodded. "I'll go and check on Cooper." He said, standing up. Natasha nodded, closing her tired eyes. Steve smiled,
lightly kissing her forehead before walking up the stairs again to check on Cooper.
Natasha was just about to drift away into deep sleep as the now usual pain flushed over her stomach. She groaned a bit. "Not now, I'm sleepy." She mumbled, putting her hands over her baby bump. "Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high. There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby." Natasha started singing, her eyes still closed as her hands slowly caressed her belly.

Cooper had already fallen asleep as Steve checked into his room, so he carefully closed the door before walking down the stairs again. "Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true." Steve soon heard Natasha's sweet voice and his heart skipped a beat. He walked as slowly as quietly as he could closer to her, so he could get a glimpse of her while singing that beautiful lullaby. "Someday I'll wish upon a star and wake up where the clouds are far.." She continued singing before her own yawn interrupted her song. "..behind me. Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me." She continued singing, her eyes shut closed. Natasha was just about to sing the next part as Steve interrupted. "Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly. Birds fly over the rainbow. Why then, oh why can't I?" Steve started singing. Natasha smiled from the couch, before slowly opening her eyes. "Lila was wrong. You aren't that bad at singing after all." Natasha said and Steve laughed. She put his hands on his hips, shaking his head a bit. "I can't believe she said that." He said, pretending to be a bit upset. Natasha grinned, getting up from the couch. "Let's just go to sleep." She said and Steve nodded. As both of them had laid down in the bed in the guest room and cuddled up close to each other, Steve kept his eyes open for a while longer to watch Natasha's peaceful expression. He never got enough of that sight. "If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow. Why, oh why, can't I?" He sang softly, seeing a small smile on Natasha's lips before he closed his eyes.

• • •

Natasha sat by the kitchen table, laughing now and then as Steve happily danced around to the songs on the radio. He made some eggs and bacon while giving her a show, shaking that ass of his to the music. "Do you want some orange juice? Maybe the little one wants some." Steve said, smiling as he pointed a bit at her baby bump. "Juice sounds good." Natasha said, smiling brightly at him. It was hard for her not to smile while seeing him like this. He was so happy, and so was she. Her whole body was stuffed with so much joy it almost hurt. "I'll get it." Natasha said, walking over to the refrigerator, grabbing the juice. "But these songs Steve.. You can't call this music." Natasha teased as Steve turned down the volume just a bit. "This is my jam." Steve said seriously and Natasha laughed. "Your jam? You sound very.." Natasha began, pouring some juice in two glasses. "Cool?" He asked. "Childish." Natasha said, smirking. "Someone has to be childish until this little one is born." Steve said, softly putting his hands on her stomach. "But I hope she won't be born at all." Steve suddenly said and Natasha's eyes widened. "What?" She stuttered before Steve grabbed a big knife, and stabbed her belly. Natasha gasped as the pain hit her body and made her dizzy. "All this baby does is hurting you, Natasha. It doesn't deserve to live. It's her fault!" Steve screamed frustrated before letting the knife slit her belly open. Blood made everything from Natasha's waist and down dark red and she desperately tried to breath. "S-Steve.." She stuttered. "This child is not ours. This is the child of the devil." Steve said seriously as he suddenly held the dead baby in his hands, covered in blood. Steve looked down at the baby, smiling. Natasha's eyes were wide open as tears ran down her cheeks. Steve looked up at Natasha, smiling. "Isn't this better?" He asked. Natasha opened her eyes, sitting straight up in the bed. Steve slept peacefully beside her and she was relived he didn't wake up. Her breaths were quick and the shirt she slept in was drenched in her own sweat. She put her hand on her belly, almost starting to cry as she realised that he was okay.

Natasha slowly crawled out of bed, careful not to wake Steve. She really needed to be alone right now. Especially since he was in the dream. Natasha put on some warmer clothes before walking downstairs and out on the porch. She stopped for a few seconds, breathing in the cold night air. She crossed her arms over her chest, biting her lip. She shook her head a bit as her thoughts wandered. Her nightmares hadn't occurred as often when she slept next to Steve. Barley at all. But even if she slept next to him now, they still damaged her mind. Natasha was honestly concerned. She had been so long without these haunting nightmares that she had got used to actually sleeping well. The last thing she wanted was to get them back and these current ones really stabbed her in the heart because they all meant so much to her emotionally. The nightmare of Steve's death still replayed through her mind at least two times a day and she knew that the image from this one would never escape from her mind either. Natasha wrapped the jacket she had put on a little tighter around her body before starting to walk over the dark green grass. She walked to the small lake near the house were she had spent countless nights when she visited the Barton's. She sat down in the grass, looking out over the dark lake. The sky was a bit cloudy and hid most of the stars but the moon was still visible and lit up the lake. Natasha felt so tired but it wasn't really her eyes that were tired. Not after this nightmare anyway. Her soul was tired. It wasn't anything new really. Her soul had been tired for years and that was nothing a few hours of sleep could solve. She frowned a bit as she looked out over the calm water that the moon reflected in. It felt like something was about to happen. She had this feeling in her stomach that she couldn't shake. This pregnancy felt too good, too impossible for it not to be any consequences.

When Steve woke up the next day, the bed was cold beside him and there was no redhead in his arms as usual. He put on some more clothes before walking downstairs to see if anyone was up. "Yes, you can take some jam if you don't tell your dad about it." Natasha said to Lila who happily started spreading strawberry jam on her sandwich. "That sounds yummy." Steve said and Natasha turned around, getting a bit tense as she saw him. She tried to hide it but she knew Steve saw it. The tension in the air was different, even Lila could tell. Natasha gave Steve a smile before he sat down by the kitchen table. "Where's Cooper?" Steve asked and Lila chuckled. "It's really early. Cooper never wakes up this early." She said, surprised by the question. "Natasha don't either. Didn't you sleep well?" Steve asked Natasha softly, a bit concerned over why she got up so early. Natasha raised her eyebrows, looking at him a bit. "No, I slept fine. I just wanted to spend some time with Lila." She said, smiling down at the little girl. Lila grinned before taking a big bite of the sandwich, getting some jam around her cute little mouth. Steve nodded a bit, feeling that something was wrong anyway. "Did the baby kick a lot?" He asked and Natasha looked at him again. "No, it's okay. I told you." She said, sounding very convincing, making Steve think he worried for nothing. He nodded, smiling a bit as Lila managed to get some jam on her nose. Who wouldn't want a child after seeing something as adorable as that? "When are mommy and daddy getting back?" Lila suddenly asked and Natasha looked at her phone. "Your dad is going to call when they're on their way. So I don't know yet sweetheart." Natasha simply said and Lila nodded. "I'm going to be the best big sister ever." Lila added, grabbing another sandwich before spreading out strawberry jam on that one as well. She smiled happily. "I am, aren't I?" Lila asked, making Steve and Natasha nod at once. "The best one in the world." Natasha said and Steve smiled. "Absolutely." He said, giving Natasha a smile that she greeted by looking away. Steve frowned a bit but tried to ignore it and made himself a sandwich.

Later that day, Natasha got a call from Clint, saying that they would be home in around two hours tops. As Lila were told the news, she sat down on the front porch outside, refusing to do anything else but to wait. Cooper, who had finally woken up sat with her. He had told them it was because he didn't want Lila to sit there all alone, but both Steve and Natasha saw pretty clearly how Cooper's eyes were filled with excitement.
"Are we staying another night or.." Steve began but Natasha interrupted. "We're going home. I'm pretty sure Clint and Laura wants some family time." She said as she stood by the window, looking out at the children. Steve nodded, slowly walking up behind her, wrapping his arm around her before laying his hand on her belly. Natasha almost gasped and moved away quickly, making sure his hand didn't touch her belly. The images from her dream replayed in her mind and she swallowed hard. Steve looked at her surprised as Natasha frowned at him before her expression softened. "Natasha?" Steve asked surprised and Natasha bit her teeth together a bit. "Sorry, you startled me." She said, putting her own hand over her belly. "Don't lie to me. I can tell that something is up." Steve said concerned, not taking his eyes off hers. "I'm just tried." She said, which wasn't an actual lie since she had been up all night. "You told me you slept well." He said and Natasha rolled her eyes. "It's nothing. I'm fine." She said, annoyed by his questions. Steve almost chuckled. "Yeah right. Name one person who has actually meant that they're fine while using that word." Steve said and Natasha gave him an irritated glance. She really didn't want to talk about any of this. She just needed some time to forget about the details.. The image was too clear. "Did I do something?" Steve asked and Natasha shook her head, mumbling a "No". Steve put his hands on his hips. "Then what is it?" He asked again. "Steve, I'm fine." She repeated and Steve sighed heavily. "I thought we said no more keeping stuff from.." He began as Lila shouted happily. "They're here! They're here!" Lila screamed, running over the lawn to greet the car. Natasha peeked looked out through the window before going outside to greet Laura and Clint, relived to be saved by the bell.

Laura slowly walked towards the porch with Clint's arm around her. Lila stopped on the last steps on the porch, putting her hands over her small mouth. Steve walked after Natasha out of the house and stopped right beside her. Natasha's eyes were completely focused on Laura, or more on the baby in her arms. Clint smiled so brightly Steve was certain that he was, at the moment, the happiest man in the world. Lila and Cooper ran up to their parents, looking down at the little baby in Laura's arms.
"Lila. Cooper. Meet little Natasha." Laura said, and at that, Natasha grabbed Steve's hand. Steve looked down at her hand in his before looking up at her face. She didn't take her eyes off that little baby. Steve smiled, letting his thumb run over her hand as he held it tightly. "She looks just like me." Lila whispered as she gently touched the baby's forehead. Laura chuckled a bit, knowing there was no chance she could actually see that. As everyone, being Lila, had calmed down a bit, they could all sit down in the living room. Clint and Laura was sitting close to each other in the couch with baby Natasha in Clint's arms. Lila sat on her knees on the floor with Cooper right next to her. Natasha sat in an armchair in front of the couch and Steve stood up, looking at the happy family. "Do you want to hold her?" Laura asked, looking at Natasha who smiled a little as an answer. Clint slowly stood up, walking over to Natasha and slowly handing her the newborn. "Careful with the head.." Clint said and Laura laughed. "He says that every time." Laura said, looking at Steve. "Natasha has probably held our children more often than Clint." Laura added, earning a chuckle from Steve before he turned his eyes to Natasha. Both of them.
Natasha held the little baby in her arms, rocking it back and forth a little as she smiled brightly while looking down at the little face. "You better grow up to look like your mother." Natasha whispered, earning another laugh from Laura. Steve sighed deeply, taking in everything about that moment. It felt so special for him seeing her like that and he couldn't even imagine how it would feel when it was their own child in her arms.

Later that night, Steve and Natasha said goodbye to the Barton family. Both Laura and Clint insisted that they should stay but Natasha knew them all too well. Even if she felt like a part of their family, she wasn't. They didn't need her or Steve there right now. "Let me drive." Natasha said as she and Steve walked towards the car. Steve shook his head, getting into the driver seat. "You're joking, right?" Steve asked. He wouldn't let her drive while being so tried, plus the fact that she's pregnant. Natasha sighed a bit, getting into the car. Both of them stayed quiet for a few minutes as they drove home in the quiet evening. The sunset had passed a while ago and the sky got darker by the minute. "About our conversation earlier.." Steve began and Natasha sighed. "I had a nightmare." She said, staring straight forward, not even blinking. Steve looked at her, furrowing his eyebrows a bit. "Why didn't you just tell me that?" He asked softly, not understanding why she had to lie about it. "I don't want to talk about it." Natasha said seriously. Steve gave her another glance. "I'm sorry." He said, reaching after her hand. Natasha turned to look at him for the first time in a while and seeing those calm blue eyes of his made her a bit calmer. She grabbed his hand and Steve felt a feeling of relief rush through him. "It will be okay. We'll ask for sleeping pills or something." Steve said and Natasha chuckled, thinking about all the different pills she had taken to help her sleep during the years. "I'm not so sure that will help." She said tiredly, looking out of the side window. "It will be okay." Steve said again and Natasha heard that he tried to convince himself more than convincing her. "It will be okay." Natasha said, looking at him again. Steve sighed deeply, nodding. Natasha squeezed his hand, giving him a small smile that Steve returned. Natasha leaned her head back on the seat, closing her eyes. Truth is a matter of circumstances. It will not be okay.