All of a sudden, it was morning. Natasha woke up first with Steve's arms still around her. She enjoyed the feeling a bit longer, slowly waking up before she silently crawled out of his embrace. She went into the bathroom and took a glance or herself in the bathroom mirror. Her hair was a mess. Whenever she didn't dry if properly after showering, it always curled up in a not so good way. Well, she hadn't really showered yesterday but it wasn't far from it. She took up her hairbrush, trying to fix the mess with no luck. She suddenly felt a weird feeling in her stomach and before she could react, she  threw up in the toilet. She whimpered as last nights dinner splashed out in the toilet. Natasha flushed the toilet and stood by the mirror again, holding a hand over her forehead. "That tasted better going down than coming up." She said quietly to herself as the taste in her mouth was even worse than the last time. She stopped in her own thoughts. It tasted even worse then the last time. Last. Why did she throw up two days in a row? Her eyes suddenly grew a bit as the thought came to her mind again. Pregnancy. It was impossible so she pushed that thought away even further. But when was the last time she even had her period? She frowned a bit, trying to remember but nothing came to mind. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt the anger and pain rush over her. The idea kept flying in her mind and she wanted to shoot it down. But it didn't hurt to be sure? To take a pregnancy test? Who was she kidding, of course it would hurt. It will hurt every time she takes a pregnancy test and it shows negative. It will hurt every time she sees some children on the street or a pregnant woman walk by. It will always hurt. So why not? She hurried to freshen up, got changed and headed out of the hotel without waking up a sleeping Steve. It was better to keep him out of this, she thought. One hurt is better than two. She wanted to spare him that pain as much as she could because it wasn't a pain anyone wanted to experience.

• • •

Steve woke up slowly with a smile on his lips. Even before opening his eyes, he reached out his arm to grab Natasha next to him but his arm hit the bed instead of her body. He quickly opened his eyes to realise that he was alone in their big bed. He quickly got out of bed and looked around in their room, but she was nowhere to be found. He frowned a bit as a feeling of worry bubbled up in his body even though there was certainty nothing to worry about. After all, it was Natasha Romanoff AKA Black Widow that he worried about. Still, he wanted to make sure she was alright. He picked up the phone to call her but found her phone on the nightstand before it even began ringing. He started to get a bit anxious as Natasha walked inside the door, carrying a small grocery bag. "I was looking for you." Steve said and met her smile. "Couldn't stand a minute without me, could you?" Natasha said, smirking a bit. Steve nodded. "Something like that." He said. "I bought us some candy and stuff." She said, putting the bag on the table. "Candy?" Steve asked with a smile. "Candy is always a good idea." Natasha nodded seriously. "Let's put on a movie or something. I wanna be lazy." She contained and Steve smiled. "I'm on it." He said as he walked over to the little couch and tv they had in the room. Natasha quickly grabbed the pregnancy test from the bag, sneaked into the the bathroom and locked the door.

Natasha's heart was already beating at full speed when she stood in front of the bathroom mirror. She swallowed hard and refused to glance down at the stick on the sink. She was supposed to wait 3 minutes. That's 180 seconds and it sure was the longest 180 seconds she had ever experienced. She told herself to not have any hope in this. To not get her hopes up. She tried to calm down her beating heart and closed her eyes. After counting the seconds in her head, she slowly opened her eyes, there was no time to waste. She picked up the test and glanced down at it.
Negative.
Natasha nodded a few times before throwing the test in the trash. The same familiar pain rushed through her body, taking her apart piece by piece. She suddenly took a deep breath, realising that she had forgot to breath for a while. It's fine, she thought. Now she was certain. She washed her face with some ice cold water to keep the tears from entering her eyes. It was okay. It was how it was supposed to be. She smiled once in the mirror, rolling her eyes at how pathetic she looked before walking out to Steve. He sat in the couch, waiting for her. "So, did you choose a movie?" Natasha said, giving him a small smile. "Are you alright?" Steve asked at once and Natasha cursed at him in her head. How did he notice? "Yeah." She said, trying to make it believable. She sat down next to him, moving as close as possible to him. "So what movie did you choose?" She said with a smile. Steve looked at her for a few seconds. He felt that something was wrong. Her expression and the energy around her, something was wrong. But she didn't want to talk about it so he wrapped his arms around her, giving her a smile. "Have you seen Star Wars?" He asked, and she nodded. "That'll be good." She said, hugging him tightly. Steve kissed lips once before Natasha buried her head in his shoulder. It hurt. Everything hurt. But at least she had Steve, that kept putting her together, piece by piece.

• • •

"But I don't understand.." Steve said when they finished watching the movie. "I thought Star Wars was supposed to be a good movie?" He said surprised. "It is good." Natasha said. "This is the worst thing I've ever seen." Steve said, chuckling. "But you have to see the whole thing. All the movies." Natasha said and Steve just kept laughing. "I'm not watching more of these movies." He said and Natasha looked at him, shocked. "These movies are awesome, Rogers." Natasha said seriously. "Yeah well, one woman's opinion." He said, getting up from the couch. "This is outrageous." Natasha joked and Steve laughed. "It's just a movie.." Steve said and Natasha glared at him. "This is more than just movies.." Natasha began but was interrupted by Steve's lips. "Now that we have.. Eaten candy for breakfast.." Steve said, glancing over at the empty bag in the table. "What do you say about we take a small trip?" Steve asked and Natasha raised one eyebrow. "I thought we haven't planned anything." She said and Steve smiled. "I just planned one thing." He said, grinning a bit. "Where are we going?" Natasha asked but Steve just grinned a bit and walked towards the bedroom. "You'll see." He said and Natasha looked curiously after him. "Tell me." She said but he didn't answer. She walked after him into the bedroom but couldn't find him there. "Steve?" She asked but got no answer. Natasha's heart stopped as he slowly walked out of the bathroom, holding the pregnancy paper box. "You've.. You took a pregnancy test?" He asked, holding up the empty box. Natasha couldn't take his eyes off his. Her hands slowly began to shake a bit as she stuttered on the words. "It's.. It's a.. I'm not.. It was negative." She stuttered while she nodded. Steve stood completely still for a moment, trying to take in the information. "Oh.." Steve said quietly, looking down at the box. "I'm so sor.." He began but Natasha interrupted. "No don't." She said, crossing her arms over her chest before letting her look meet the floor. They stood quiet for a while before Natasha walked over to him and grabbed the box out of his hands before throwing it in the trash. "Now, should be get going?" Natasha said, faking a smile the best she could before walking out of the room. Steve sighed, biting his tongue.