When Ishaana awoke, she was paralysed on the bed, lying askew on top of the covers with Casey snoring beside her. Her entire body ached, her thighs sore and her hips bruised, and her head pounded. The mix of too many different types of alcohol churned in her stomach and a wave of nausea flooded her, forcing her to stumble off the bed and trip into the bathroom where she dropped to her knees and gripped the rim of the toilet, her shoulders heaving as she brought up the contents of her stomach.

Slipping onto the floor, she pulled the flush and rested her back against the bathtub, her hand over her eyes. Everything was too bright, the light blinding her sensitive pupils, and she groaned as another wave of sickness crushed her, forcing her to hunch over the toilet once more until her lungs burned and her stomach ached as she rid her system of last night. Her arm on the seat, she rested her forehead on the back of her hand and focused on breathing deeply, her eyes shut tight.

There was a knock on the door. She didn't move, her body too laden to pick herself up off the floor when she felt like even lifting her head would bring on another round of dry-heaving. When she ignored the knocking, the door slowly opened and Ishaana glanced up with one eye open to see Bishop standing in the doorway, a shadow that blocked out the light.

"Ishy," he said, and his features pulled into a frown. "Are you ok?"

That was the Bishop that made sense, the one who worried; the one who cared. Not the one who fucked her senseless until she couldn't breathe. It seemed almost impossible to couple this Bishop with the one she had met last night, the one who had ravished her body with everything he had.

"Drank too much," she murmured, her lips hardly moving. Bishop passed her the dress she had discarded last night and crouched down beside her, helping her to pull it on over her head. His hand on her elbow, he helped her to stand. Holding her with one arm wrapped around her waist to stop her from falling over, he twisted the tap with his free hand and filled a glass of water, holding it to her lips. Her hand over his, she finished the glass in a long, thirsty gulp and rested her head against his chest. Her mind flashed with images from last night, but they seemed like fiction. He was a gentle giant, helping her back to the bedroom once he had refilled her glass.

"You need to drink," he said, letting her slip onto the bed. A different bed. This wasn't the one they had shared last night; this was the one on the other side of the adjoining door, crisp sheets undisturbed when Bishop had never left Casey's room.

"How come you're so fine?" she mumbled, squinting at his blurry outline. He stood with his back to the window and she could hardly make out his features.

"I don't really get hungover," he said. The bed creaked when he sat down next to her, his hands clasped between his parted knees. "Look, Ishy, about last night..." He trailed off, a pause that lasted a couple of seconds before he continued. "I don't want to make anything awkward. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise," she said, taking a deep breath and covering her eyes with her hand. The total darkness helped a little. "It was fun. It was hot." She let out a long sigh, turning her cheek against the cool pillow. "I liked it," she said, moving her hand to look up at Bishop, and he nodded slowly with his lips pursed.

"Me too," he said, his words calm and considered, and there was a hint of a smile hiding behind his lips. "You ok? Can I get you anything?"

"Paracetamol," she said, "and my phone. I don't know where my phone is."

When he stood, Ishaana closed her eyes again and heaved a sigh against the pillow. She had no idea what the time was, no idea when she had fallen asleep at last. The night had stretched on for hours, desperate sex drifting into lazy loving when Casey had decided that he wasn't done with her yet. She had been too exhausted to do anything but lie there helpless, letting him pound her as Bishop had kissed her, soft lips teasing hers as his tongue had explored her mouth.

She remembered that now as she watched him leave, her stomach flipping. Whether that was nausea or something else, she wasn't sure, but it wasn't a feeling she recognised. Groaning, she buried her face in the pillow and willed herself to fall asleep. That was the only real cure when she was hungover, to sleep it off and hope she felt better when she awoke.

Bishop returned a moment later, a box of paracetamol in one hand and her phone in the other, and he sat down before popping two pills out of the packet. Handing them to her, he held the water to her lips when she could hardly lift her head, and he left the phone on the mattress. Ishaana ignored it for now, closing her eyes again and willing the effects to roll through her bones and soothe her pounding head.

"You have a bunch of missed calls," he said, nudging the phone towards her. "You might want to check your messages."

"Shit," she muttered, trying and failing to get into her phone. "One nine oh five. My code. Can you unlock it?"

"Mmhmm," Bishop said, tapping in the number. "Your birthday?"

"No," Ishaana said, the word an effort. "My mum's."

"That's sweet," he murmured. "You guys close?"

"She's dead."

"Oh." The words hung heavy in the air. "Shit, Ishy, I'm sorry."

She said nothing. She wasn't about to lie that it was fine, especially when the words alone would be too much of an effort. Instead, she let out a long breath and Bishop navigated his way to her voicemails, dialing the number and waiting for the message. Despite several missed calls from Sunita, she had only left one message time stamped thirty minutes ago, and her crackling voice filled the room.

"Ishaana, where are you? You're not in your room and you're not answering your phone and I'm getting worried. Please call me when you hear this." The call cut off shortly and Ishaana rolled onto her back, hand over her eyes.

"Shit. Shit." She should have left a note. She wished she had left a note: it would have been easy to lie, to say that she was heading to Melody's. Really, she thought, she shouldn't have left at all. A crush of realisation sank into her that Priya would probably be up, and it wouldn't take long for her to realise that her sitter had gone AWOL. As always. "Fuck. I need to go."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Bishop asked. "You're in a bit of a state, Ishy."

She ignored him, picking up the phone and squinting at the screen as she found her aunt's name in her contacts, hitting the green button to dial the number. Taking a deep breath, she focused on injecting as much normalcy into her voice as possible when her aunt answered.

"Ishaana?" Sunita's tone was more of worry than anger.

"Hi, Suni," Ishaana said, steeling herself for a conversation when she just wanted to sleep. "I'm sorry I forgot to leave a note. I'm at Melody's," she lied, guilt seeping into her stomach already as a regretful frown sank into her features.

"I know," Sunita said.

"You know?"

"You weren't answering," she said. "I rang Melody. At least you're ok." She sighed. "Don't worry me like that, Ishaana. I don't mind you going out. Just tell me."

"Sorry, Suni. It won't happen again," Ishaana murmured, and she meant it. In less than ten hours, Bishop and Casey would be boarding a plane to America for four weeks, the entirety of her university break. A whole month at home, and she had failed on the second day. "Sorry."

"It's ok," Sunita said, resignation in her voice. "I'll see you later."

Hanging up, Ishaana dropped her hand onto her stomach and looked over at Bishop. "I fucked up," she said, forcing herself to sit up even though it made her head pound and her stomach turned. She needed a pause before she could stand and she leant against Bishop. The sudden contact took him by surprise for a moment, before he softened his stance and placed a cautious arm around her shoulders. "I need to go."

"Let me call you a taxi," Bishop said. He took her phone off her before she had even registered what he had said, unlocking it with the code he now knew, and he searched up taxi companies in Farnleigh, calling the first one. Within a minute, a car was on its way. He dug his hand into his pocket for his wallet, but Ishaana pushed him away.

"No, you're not paying," she said. "I'm not a prostitute, ok. You're not paying for the taxi."

"I wasn't saying you're a prostitute," he said. "I just want to help. You're not in a great way right now. I just want to make sure you get back safe. I'd drive you, but I doubt I'm sober enough yet."

Ishaana let out a long sigh, closing her eyes before she slowly lifted dark irises to his. "You're too nice," she said. "You don't need to be so nice all the time. You can be honest. I know you disapprove of this whole thing. Me, and Casey, whatever it is. I know you think I'm some dumb whore."

Bishop frowned, leaning away from her. "Why the fuck would I think that?"

"Everyone does," she muttered, resting her elbows on her knees and dropping her forehead into her hands.

"Well, I'm not everyone," he said, a sudden sharpness to his voice. "You're not dumb, and you're not a whore. Yes, I don't think you should screw around with Casey, but only because I don't want you to get hurt and he can be a prick sometimes."

"He can't hurt me," she said. "You guys are going to America in, like, today." She held up her hands. "I'm not hurt now, am I? And he can't hurt me when he's out of the country." Then she let out a slow, dry laugh. "Actually, I lied. I am hurt now."

"You are?"

Her hangover did as much for her filter as the original alcohol did, residing in her veins to break out her honesty. "You have a big dick," she said, exhaustion in her voice, and Bishop widened his eyes.

"Oh." His mouth hung open a little as he tried to think of what he could say, but no appropriate response came to his lips. "Sorry."

"I wasn't complaining," she said. "Just gotta learn how to walk again."

Bishop was caught right between mortification and amusement, and a swell of pride, and Ishaana smiled at him, gazing into his eyes. He was nice. Too nice to do what he had done to her last night, or so she had thought. There was another side to him now, one she had never predicted when he was the one who bought her greasy food and ordered her taxis. He had pushed her to her limits, tipping her over the edge time and time again with every trick in the book, until she had come harder than ever before as Casey had watched on.

"Your taxi will be here soon," Bishop said after a moment. He helped Ishaana to her feet and her dress fluttered around her thighs. "It's cold outside. Take this." Rooting through his case, he passed her a jumper that was a couple of sizes too big, but she pulled it on anyway when goose pimples prickled her arms.

"Thanks," she said, pulling the sleeves over her hands. "Is this so you have an excuse to see me when you're back from America?"

"No," Bishop said, "but I'm sure I will anyway."

She pursed her lips and shrugged one shoulder. "Lots can change in a month. Casey's gonna find a cute American fuck buddy."

"Probably. Several, I imagine." Then he stopped, and he let out a short sigh. "Doesn't that bother you?"

"I'd be a hypocrite if it did," she said. "I know you don't believe me, but I don't feel anything for him, Bishop. He knows that. It's just sex. It's not a big deal." She tucked her phone back into her bag and followed Bishop out of the hotel room, leaning against him in the lift down to the lobby when her legs felt as though they might give way. "Good luck, by the way. Tell Casey that, too. I hope you have a good time in America."

Bishop nodded and he smiled, his eyes softening. "Thanks. Me too."

Bishop ended up paying for the taxi in the end, but only because Ishaana found that in her hurry last night, she'd neglected to bring more than two pounds with her, not enough to even get her halfway to Melody's house. He was right: she was in no state to go home and considering her aunt already thought she was at Melody's, she decided to roll with the lie and at nine o'clock, she teetered on her best friend's doorstep once she had knocked three times on the door.

Almost thirty seconds passed before there was a flash of orange on the other side of the door and Melody opened it, her wide eyes filled to the brim with questions. Pulling Ishaana into the cosy house, tall and narrow and bursting with colour, she pushed the door shut and dragged her up the steep stairs to the warm sitting room on the first floor.

"What happened last night?" she asked, her arms folded and her head tilted to one side. "Your aunt called me saying she didn't know where you were so I said you were here and you were asleep. Only because I know how much Suni fusses. What the fuck happened?"

It was still too early for so many questions. The paracetamol was slowly beginning to kick in, taking the edge off the pain in her head, but she needed to sit before she could answer. "Where is everyone?"

"Pearl's asleep; Mum's gone out," Melody said. She sat on the coffee table opposite the sofa Ishaana had chosen, resting her elbows on her knees. "Are you gonna tell me what the fuck happened, Ishy? Where'd you go?"

Lifting a hand to her head, Ishaana took a deep breath. "You can't tell Pearl," she said. "She'll judge me."

Melody frowned. "Ok."

"Casey was here," she said. "He and Bishop came to Farnleigh. Stayed the night."

"Oh." Melody's shoulders sank, her faintly angry confusion replaced by a twinkle in her eye. "God, Ishy, you just can't get enough, can you?"

Ishaana lifted her eyes to her friend. "I did last night," she said, and Melody's frown returned as she tried to decipher the meaning behind the words. She knew there was one, just not what it was.

"You got enough? You ended it with Casey?" she asked, clasping her hands together, and Ishaana shook her head. She wasn't sure how to commence from there, how she was supposed to tell her friend about what had happened last night, what had continued into the early hours of the morning until they had fallen asleep on damp sheets.

"Um, no," she said. "Well. Bishop was there."

That was all the prompting that Melody needed to gasp and recoil, her eyes widening so much that her entire irises showed, and she clapped one hand over her mouth. "Oh my God," she said, her words muffled against her palm. "Oh my God, Ishy, you slept with Bishop? Shit. Does Casey know?"

When Ishaana said nothing, Melody repeated her reaction on a whole new scale, letting out the most exaggerated gasp that Ishaana had ever heard, and she practically fell off the coffee table.

"Holy fuck," she whispered, leaning close to her friend. "You had a threesome? You fucked them both? In one night?"

Ishaana put her hands together. "At the same time," she said, and she winced. "Not gonna lie, I ache like a motherfucker. Christ, Mel, it was fucking incredible, though. I mean, God. I don't even know what to say."

"I can't believe it." Melody was slowly shaking her head, her eyes still as wide as saucers. "You slept with both of them. At the same time. Oh my God. Ishy. You're so bad." Then she laughed. "Good thing I covered for you. Not sure how Suni would take it if she heard you had a threesome with your fuck buddy and his best friend."

"Don't you ever breathe a word of this within a mile of her," Ishaana said, narrowing her eyes. "Or Pri. I swear to God, Mel, this stays between us."

Melody held up her hands. "I promise. You can trust me, Ishy. So, how was it? Actually, no, no, how was Bishop?" She wiggled her eyebrows, her grin widening. "I have this image of him being a bit of a pussy cat, really. A bit like Tigger," she said, as the cat jumped onto the sofa. She went wherever Melody went, coming home with her for the holidays, and she curled up on her owner's lap.

"Total opposite," Ishaana said. "He was rough. Like, he knew what he wanted. And he knew what he was doing. He was pretty wasted, but man, that didn't seem to affect him. And Christ, Mel, biggest dick I've ever fucked, I swear to God."

That sent Melody's eyebrows shooting up again, a laugh bubbling out of her. "Seriously? Really?"

"Swear on my life. Oh, God, I ache so much," she groaned, lying down on the sofa. "Can you break your vagina? Is that a thing? I feel like he broke my vagina."

"Well, I guess you could've, like, torn it or someth-"

Grimacing, Ishaana held up her hand to cut off her best friend. "Actually, I'd rather not know. I'll just sleep it off."

"Want me to take a look?" Melody offered, stifling a giggle, and Ishaana rolled her eyes. "Seriously, though, I can if you want. As a favour."

"I'm good," Ishaana said drily, shaking her head at her friend. "You're such a perv."

Melody sighed, hunching over her knees again. "As if you fucked them both. Wait. Same time? So you did anal?"

"Yup." She glanced over, one eyebrow raised. "I've done it before, don't worry. Not something I do willy-nilly."

Melody snorted. "You do willy, alright," she muttered, and Ishaana was too tired to swat her friend for the murmured comment. "How big are we talking? I need a visual guide."

Scanning the room, Ishaana's eyes fell on a water bottle on the floor and when Melody followed her gaze, she grabbed it and her eyes popped out of her head.

"Shit, Ishy, you sure?" She held up the bottle, her thumb and fingers not quite touching. "How the fuck do you even fit something this big in you? You're tiny."

Ishaana snorted. "With difficulty," she said. "Couldn't have done it if Casey hadn't already been fucking me. And man am I feeling it today." She took the water bottle, popping off the cap and swigging from it, much to Melody's amusement at the insinuation.

"You're wild. God, Ishy, I thought you were wild already but that is fucking wild. Like, tiger on the loose wild."

Ishaana patted her crotch. "This tiger's gonna take a break," she said, sighing. "They're going today, anyway. Off to America for four weeks. Maybe I'll just about have recovered by then." She laughed and closed her eyes. Melody let out a slow sigh.

"This is getting messy," she said. "Isn't that messy? Sleeping with both of them?"

"I'm not sleeping with both of them. I was fucking Casey, and then I fucked Bishop once, but now they're going." She shrugged. "It's as good as over. The chances of this carrying on when Casey gets back is, like, zero."

Melody pursed her lips, idly stroking Tigger and scratching the fat cat's head. "Ok, so I have one question."

"Fire away."

"This whole fuck buddies thing, right, it works because you don't know Casey. Right?"

Ishaana nodded.

"Because facts make feelings, or whatever you said the other day."

Another nod. "Something like that."

"So what about Bishop?" Melody asked. "You already have facts with him. And now you've fucked. So doesn't that complicate things, even just a little bit?"

Letting out a long breath, Ishaana kept her eyes closed and felt that unfamiliar feeling again, the flip of her stomach. Swallowing the twist of her gut, she shook her head. "Nope."

The walk of shame wasn't so bad once Ishaana had napped for an hour before showering and borrowing some of Melody's clothes, having a bite to eat once Pearl had woken up and Frankie had returned. It was a dysfunctional little family, but it had served Ishaana well over the years, and it was hard to pull herself away from Frankie's judgment-free hug when she left, dreading the reception when she stepped through her own front door.

A ten minute bus ride later, a trundling journey that wound its way through town at a snail's pace, Ishaana toppled off at her stop and righted herself before she continued down the pavement towards her house, just a few minutes away. She had put off her homecoming for long enough, grateful for the Sunday bus times that had forced her to wait an extra thirty minutes at Melody's once she had decided it was time to go home.

Slipping her key into the lock, she quietly twisted it and part of her hoped that no-one was home, but Sunita's car was in the driveway and she prepared herself for some kind of berating. She'd never been scolded by Sunita before, who seemed to have an unending supply of tired patience with her nieces, forgiving more of their slip-ups than her daughters. They had been through a lot, after all, and rebellion was to be expected.

The house was silent, but only because Sunita wasn't making a noise. She was sitting in a deep armchair in the conservatory, her knees crossed as she reread a book she had read at least three times before. Her glasses teetered on the edge of her nose so low that she could look over them when she heard Ishaana's footsteps in the kitchen.

"Hi, Suni," Ishaana said, meekly stepping into the conservatory. Her headache was gone for the most part, thanks to plenty of water and a decent sleep on Melody's sofa, and a shower that wasn't so warm that the heat made her pass out. That had happened before, when showering while hungover had resulted in her collapsing beneath the stream for a few minutes.

"Good afternoon, Ishaana," Sunita said, and Ishaana glanced at the clock to see that it had gone twelve. She'd spent longer with Melody than she'd thought. "Priya's gone to town with Saffi. They were going to ask you but judging by the way you sounded this morning, I thought you might just want to rest."

"I'm really sorry, Suni," she said, wincing with regret. "I really am. I shouldn't have gone out without telling you. I shouldn't really have gone out at all. I know that."

"You're an adult, Ishaana," Sunita said. She rested her book on the arm of her chair, propped up like a tent to mark her page. "You can go out if you want to. I'm not here to tell you how to live. But when you're living in this house, I need you to follow my rules."

Her expression softened at the harshness of her words and she sighed. "Just for Saffi and Priya. I know you didn't sign up for this, darling, I know. And I know you'd rather be off with your friends than stuck here. But you're their role model. I'm only trying to protect you all. You know that. I want you to have fun, but please let me know if you're going out, else I worry."

"I know, Suni. I really am sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have texted you or left you a note. I know." Ishaana dropped down onto the seat next to her aunt, her legs struggling to hold her up. "It won't happen again, I promise. I didn't mean to disappoint you. I just didn't think."

Sunita gazed at her for a moment before she nodded her head, slowly and a little uncertain. "Thank you, Ishaana," she said. "I'm not disappointed. I suppose we all just have to learn how to live together." There was a tinge of melancholy in her voice, and she let out a slow sigh, and this time Ishaana recognised the twist in her stomach: guilt. When Sunita stood, she mirrored her, and she let herself melt against her aunt. The woman didn't have a bad bone in her body, her blood laced with patience and compassion, and Ishaana had to swallow a sob as she hugged her.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, the words loaded. Her arms wrapped tightly around Sunita, who smoothed down her hair and rubbed her back.

"So am I."

+ - + - +

i hope you liked this chapter! i'm almost done with uni (one more day) and then i will be able to devote more time to this story as i won't have the stress and guilt of deadlines for at least a couple more weeks. i'm still determined to finish this before april hits. ambitious, with ten days and ten chapters to write . . . see you on the other side!