When Pansy had first called Draco, he thought what she was saying was a joke— something to piss him off. That was their friendship, so at first, he thought nothing of her phone call.

He was moments away from ending the phone call. But then she continued talking, her frantic words— broken sentences, he could tell in her tone that she was not joking, not tonight.

There was still a slither of denial of what Pansy told him. He had to check for himself, he silently hoped the diary would still be in his drawers, but when he checked— it was gone.

Although a part of him was somewhat relieved. When she had left in such a hurry, putting on a fake sickness to leave his flat, he truly thought it had been because of his actions that evening.

A weight had lifted off his shoulders, but the free feeling he felt was short-lived. Now he had too much pressure on him, he knew he had to reveal the truth and tell her what really happened, why he had waited two years.

But it was too soon, especially now that she had found her old diary. Anything Draco would say to her next would be perceived as lies, which is not what he wanted.

He was reluctant to go to her flat. Draco knew her so well, almost too well. When they were together in school she preferred being left alone in times of anger.

Draco had learnt that the hard way.

She was smart, well put together. Y/N hated others seeing her angry, she despised it— and it wasn't because she feared that she would lash out at the other person, it's because she hated seeing herself like that.

She liked to self reflect, sort out her issues by herself and when she was ready she would let the anger go— the venom that would build up inside her would be released by self-reflection.

However, out of all the arguments they had, all the times Draco had seen the furious look on her face, he knew this would be different.

In her words, the years Draco had stolen from her of them together were the most important years of her life— so yes, this anger would be very different. He was almost scared, not almost, he was scared.

"I can explain," he began, reassuring himself silently. Her stare was intense, he could see the anger beam off her. Draco knew that he had lost this already, he currently didn't have a leg to stand on.

"I'm waiting," she huffed, "I'd love for you to explain what this is!" She held the diary up, waving it around.

"Right, I will— I will, keep an open mind."

His heart was aching, it was painful seeing the one you love look at you with cold eyes— filled with hatred towards you.

Draco felt overwhelmed by everything, the emotions he had bottled up over the past two years were leaking out, and in times like this— he could no longer hold them in.

"I love you," the words rushed out easily, previously he would shower her in compliments, words of love to assure her that no matter what angry words she threw at him, he was still there— and always would be.

But this was different. He had just told someone who didn't know him that he loved them. And what did that result in? Her slapping him sharply across his cheek.

His face reddened and he nodded in agreement. He deserved that, and wouldn't try and justify his actions.

"You don't even know me— you're fucking sick! Is this some kind of a joke between you and Pansy? Because if it is then it needs to end— I want you and her out of my life."

Draco shook his head, "no, no, no— let me explain, I can explain."

"Then explain."

"Yes, yes— I know you, and you know me very well, from school. We dated, we were together for two years, and then the war came, and God I didn't want to do it— I begged and fucking pleaded with you that I didn't want to do it, but I love you too much to say no, so I did it— I took your memories of us away from you," he was rambling, trying to get everything out before she cut him off again.

Her eyes had softened but he could still see that she didn't believe him. Draco had only shown her this vulnerable side of him, where he could let out all his emotions, and she wouldn't judge him.

"You said there was no other way— you said I had to do it, for the safety of both of us. And I did it, I took them from you— I took your diary with the memories of us, I took everything. I didn't want to do it-" he paused, wiping the tears that had fallen from his eyes.

"There's no way," she whispered under her breath, Draco could see she was taken back by what he was telling her.

"For two years I waited— I fucking waited, you don't know how painful it was to see you and not talk to you, touch you— I needed you so bad, I still do. You have to believe me, I don't know if I could take it if you don't," Draco ran his fingers through his hair trying to calm himself down.

His solution to relax was right in front of him, her gentle soft touch would've reduced the shakiness in his voice, wipe away his tears. But she didn't know him, and he could see in her expression that she still didn't believe him.

"I— this makes no sense, you waited two years to tell me?"

"I know, and I fucked up waiting that long, I should've told you straight after the war. But when I saw you moving on, you looked happier and I didn't want to disturb you then. I gave you time to settle, so when I did tell you, you would be content and able to handle it."

"Show me."

"Wh-what?" Draco stammered, eyes widening, his heart jumped a little, she was believing him.

"Let me see," she stepped towards him, and Draco sucked in a breath. He inhaled her scent, it was home, she was home and without her knowing, she soothed the shakiness and tears.

"Of course, tell me— tell me what you want to see," he inhaled a breath, pushing all the memories he had of her to the front of his mind, ready for her to pick out one.

"September 6th 1996," she said without blinking.

Draco knew the date, that's when he first made his move on her. Their first kiss together, it wasn't ideal, it was rushed— but he remembered it so clearly.

"I'll show you, but I was...different then," he admitted. Which was the truth, the beginning months he still slept with other girls, of course, he liked her, but he never thought it would turn into anything serious.

"I don't care— I need to see if it adds up," she placed her hands on either side of his face. They made eye contact, and Draco swore the air knocked out of his lungs.

He felt her, in his mind. She didn't have to search because the memory was already prepared, waiting for her.

"Crabbe get over here," Draco rolled his eyes at his friend who trudged towards him.

Draco had spotted Y/N from when he first entered the party. He had noticed her since 5th year but now with some liquid courage, it was time to make his first move.

"Give her another shot," he ordered his friend, who nodded quickly— as if he were Draco's servant.

He admired her beauty, she was natural. Not like the girls in Slytherin, no, they were too easy, which made it no fun. She was intelligent, top of the class, right beside Granger, he liked intelligence in a girl.

Blaise and Theo joined Draco on the sofa, Theo had a cigarette in one hand and a drink in the other. Blaise took a shot and slammed the glass onto the table. Draco scoffed at his friends who always seemed to behave uncontrollably at parties.

"Nice view," Theo laughed, following Draco's vision.

"Fuck off," he responded, throwing up his middle finger towards his friend.

"Listen Malfoy, just make your move— the worst thing she can do is reject you," Blaise gave Draco words of encouragement, but Draco didn't need those as the alcohol had already given it to him.

"No— I'm waiting for the right time, I don't get rejected— especially not by Ravenclaw's," Draco smirked, looking at his friends. Theo fake gagged and then laughed.

"I can't wait for her to reject you," Theo put his cigarette out.

"Well if she does— I'll always have someone lined up after," Draco shrugged.

All three of them watched her, she was talking to her friends— her head tilted back when she laughed. And Draco couldn't take his eyes off her, he noticed that when she laughed hard she would always put her hand over her mouth, and tilt her head— he caught himself smiling at the sight.

"Shit— you're in trouble mate," Blaise commented as he watched his friend.

"What?"

Blaise and Theo laughed amongst themselves, Theo found it funnier than Blaise. They had still yet to share what was so funny, which annoyed Draco.

"You must really like her— yuck, your cheeks have gone all red," Theo taunted, leaning over to Draco and squeezing his cheeks.

Draco shoved him off him, and on cue, Crabbe came back and waited beside Draco.

"Did she say anything?"

"No."

"Make her another one," Draco responded, leaning back into his chair.

Perhaps Theo was right, he did really like her. Usually, he would've approached her by now, but Draco was nervous— and he feared he would be rejected by her.

He watched as Crabbe handed her a shot, she frowned and then shrugged, drinking the contents. A drop of liquid dripped onto her chin, in which she used her index finger to wipe away and then dip the finger into her mouth.

His trousers tightened near his crotch. He couldn't let Blaise or Theo see, otherwise he wouldn't hear the end of it.

Crabbed ran back over, out of breath. He raised his eyebrow and Draco flicked his hand, gesturing for him to go away.

He needed to fix the problem, calm down— he didn't know what was wrong with him, but it was embarrassing to be affected this much by someone he hadn't spoken one word to.

He excused himself as he hurried to the bathroom. Draco splashed his face with water before taking a deep breath. He was losing his self-control and couldn't find it within him to gain it back.

The door swung open, he was surprised to see Y/N walk in— considering it was a males bathroom, thankfully no one else was in there, just the two alone.

Oh fuck.

She opened her mouth to speak but Draco couldn't help himself. He cupped her cheeks with both hands and dragged her into a kiss. It was heated and rushed. Her back hit the wall, and she moaned into his mouth at the impact.

Her moans, sweet moans.

She had her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to meet her.

Draco couldn't believe this was happening, he had truly underestimated her— but wasn't complaining.

Her tongue slipped into his mouth, and he followed suit. Draco groaned tasting her, she tasted like candy, mixed with the bitterness of the fire whiskey he had been handing her.

She pulled away to catch her breath, and only then did Draco come to his senses and realise that this was not the plan.

"Sorry," he muttered, breathing heavily, her breaths matched his. He began to wonder if that's how she sounded during sex, those heavy breaths mixed with those sweet moans.

He was hard, and it was painful.

"Don't apologise," she breathed, and this time it was her initiating the second kiss. She tugged him closer to her, impossibly closer.

Draco's hand went around her throat, his other hand lifted her leg so it was wrapped around his waist.

She moaned again, and so did he, the contact they both had, it was intimate, she could probably feel his erection prodding against her, and made no effort to push him away.

Draco kissed her slower this time, their tongues tangled together, saliva mixing with the others. Draco moved his hips upward, against her clothed cunt.

His hand tightened around her throat, cutting off her oxygen supply, so now she was relying on him for air.

And then, the door swung open...

Draco blinked, watching as Y/N removed her hands. She was breathing heavily, her hand over her chest as she fanned herself down.

"You're not lying," she muttered, her eyes glassy, they matched Draco's.

He had no words for her, so he nodded his head in agreement. He took a step towards her, holding her hand, she made no efforts to pull away from him.

"I want to see everything," she sobbed, sucking in her bottom lip to prevent another one from escaping.

"Anything you want," Draco replied, pulling her hand towards his mouth and pressing kisses along her palm. Tears dropped onto her hand from his eyes, he couldn't help it, he felt relieved but this was far from over.

"Now? I can show you now if that's what you want-"

"In the morning, I'm tired," she cut him off and removed his hand from hers.

"Can I? Fuck, can I stay here tonight, please I need this, I can't— fuck, I'll sleep on your couch, I can't take it anymore," Draco inhaled, taking a few moments to calm himself down again.

"Don't worry— no that was stupid of me, I'll leave— I'm sorry," he continued, running his hands through his hair again.

"Stop— I'll get you a blanket," she said.

He sighed contently, "thank you."