Kinsley

I leave class feeling frustrated, yet also determined. Noel's charming audacity makes me realize I need to search harder.

Although the idea of having space is tempting, there would be nothing preventing Noel and me from interacting. We'd see each other on the farm.

Noel's company is great in moderation. Handling him all summer? No way.

Besides, I miss Winnipeg. Returning home to visit my grandparents is the break I need. Calling Aaron's parents is also on my to-do list. I want to see how they're doing. All these small things add up. They contribute to a routine I'm familiar with.

After unlocking the door to my dorm room, I enter without greeting Tristan. She's laying on her bed with a bowl of green grapes. Textbooks, highlighters, and papers are strewn across her bed.

I toss my bag onto my bed, releasing a pent-up sigh of frustration.

"Someone's pissed," Tristan notes.

I glance at her. She's still laying on her stomach and is now looking at me. A pink highlighter is between her fingers. She's wiggling it back and forth.

"Studying?" I ask. The papers I can see have an assortment of diagrams on them.

Changing the subject is the best route I can take. The last thing I want to discuss with her is my Noel problem. She'll probably relay information to Mariana. It's happened once. Who's saying it won't happen again? And I don't need Mariana spilling my secrets to Noel. If that man knew I was thinking about him...

"Studying for the final exam," she confirms.

"Classes aren't finished until the end of April—there's still plenty of time," I frown.

She rolls her eyes. "We're not all as smart as you, Kinsley. I need extra time to memorize class material."

I turn away, my cheeks turning pink. She may be right. Memorizing information comes easily to me. That's one thing I didn't lose after the accident.

"I'm not that smart," I mumble. To keep myself busy, I unload my tote bag.

"Are you kidding me?" She sounds exasperated. Behind me, I hear the shuffling of papers. The creaking of mattress springs. "I saw your grade from last semester. You're a genius!"

A silent scoff plays in my mind. To say I'm a genius is ridiculous. She doesn't know my story. Despite having the ability to memorize information easily, my journey post-accident nullifies Tristan's statement.

If I were a genius, I'd figure out how to cure PTSD. I'd be the Kinsley I was before.

Arguing with Tristan is a waste of time. I'm not in the mood. Noel's offer has shaken me too much to care about what comes out of Tristan's mouth.

"So," Tristan continues. "What did Noel do today? You're always moody after encountering him. Or was it Cole? Cole, being a problem, wouldn't surprise me. He hasn't been returning my calls."

From my bag, I remove a sweater and pull it on. "For good reason," I mutter. My voice is too low for Tristan to hear.

Several seconds of silence pass between us. "Come on, Kinsley! I'm dying to know!"

Sighing, I sit down on my bed. "Cole did nothing. Noel invited me to stay on his farm for the summer. He said I could use the animals for my thesis. They have a basement suite open for rent."

Tristan's mouth drops open. "Go!"

I shake my head. Wisps of loose hair tangle with my lashes. I brush them aside.

"No. Field work is required to gain experience independently. One of the major qualities of a vet is independence. I don't need Noel. God knows he'll try to worm his way in to helping."

"Please," she scoffs. "That's not what I'm hinting at."

I shoot her a puzzled look.

She sighs. "Noel likes you, Kinsley. The way he looks at you... Anyone can see it."

My heart flutters. I suppress that feeling, reminding myself of who my heart belongs to.

"And I told you, Tristan, that I don't want to date anyone."

"Kinsley..."

I look at Tristian. My heart sinks into my stomach. She's giving me that look. That stupid freaking look of pity I despise. How does she pity me when she doesn't know the story? It makes me sick.

And angry.

"Don't," I warn, pointing a finger at her. "Don't even."

Tristian bypasses my warning. "Why don't you ever discuss your nightmares? You know it's better to talk about the underlying issues. Talk to me, Kinsley. Maybe I can help you."

I get to my feet, crossing my arms. "I thought you weren't allowed to work on 'patients' like me outside of class."

The coldness in my voice surprises me.

She gives me a desperate look. "That's—that's not what I'm doing. I'm trying to be a friend! It's hard to be friends with you when all you do is push people away."

Anger bubbles in my blood, thick and hot.

"Did you ever think that maybe I don't want any friends?" I snap, feeling an ache in my chest.

"Why not?" she asks. "Why are you so afraid?"

Turning my back to Tristan, I wipe away my tears. I'm not doing this. She doesn't need to know my story. No one does.

Cole caught me in a moment of weakness. I don't regret telling him, though. He's been understanding.

Even in my head, I sound hypocritical.

However, the difference between Cole and Tristian is I can trust him. Cole doesn't tell his friends everything. Tristan does.

She's told me many, many secrets about Mariana. Ones I'm sure she wouldn't be happy about.

Also, I can't handle it. Telling my story. Calgary is my blank slate. One person is my limit.

"I'm not afraid," I lie. "I just don't want to talk about it."

Tristian says something, but I'm too focused on gathering my gym bag and gym pass. Her words dissolve into the tense air. I'm upset. Damn her for being a psychology student. Damn me for not gaining control over these nightmares. Damn that drunk drivers that took everything away from me.

"Kinsley," Tristan says, grabbing my arm.

I wrench my arm away. "Stop. Just stop. This isn't a conversation I want to have. Having a boyfriend isn't my top priority. I don't need a man. If you're so head-over-heels for Noel, then why don't you go after him?"

Tristan gapes at me, and I turn around to exit the dorm room.

I feel like I'm going to burst. Whether it's with anger or sadness, I'm not sure. All I know is that I need to get to the gym, find a punching bag, and release all my emotions.

Sprinting is out of the equation, as my knee is damaged. I miss the cross-country days, but channeling my energy into a punching bag helps. If not more.

I'm disgusted with myself for how I behaved, but Noel's offer has shaken me up. Add Tristan's questioning into the equation, and I'm a mess. I'm not good at dealing with unsuspected situations. It's when I really push people away.

But Noel's offer isn't the only thing that's weighing heavily on my mind.

It's the fact that there's a very high probability I might have to agree to his offer.