Noel

The next morning, I wake early. Leaving Kinsley alone is the last thing I want to do. However, I need to prepare for our date. Preparation will ease some of the nervousness I'm feeling.

She seems to enjoy her time with the horses, so I've decided on horseback riding for our second date.

During a discussion a few weeks ago, I learned she has some experience. Plus, she's very outdoorsy. This should go over well.

I hope.

Kinsley hasn't been around the perimeter of my family's property yet, either. There's a straightforward path we can take. I'll show her the property, then we'll stop at the lake and have lunch. Maybe we'll go for a dip in the lake, too. The mid-June weather's been hot enough.

As I'm changing into my jeans and cowboy boots, I sigh. Hope seems to be a common theme today.

I just hope she enjoys this.

After freshening up, I head downstairs and grab a quick bite to eat. Gramps isn't here. Nor is Cole.

I feel a sense of relief. Gramps likes to stick his nose in other people's business. He's also very opinionated. And although Cole won't demand or expect answers, he likes to ask questions.

Not having them here allows me to concentrate on making sandwiches and lemonade for Kinsley and I.

Once those are complete, I pack them into a backpack, along with some snacks, bottled water, and some apples for the horses. Then I head to the stables.

Before Kinsley joins me, I need to saddle them up and prepare them for riding.

Buttercup is the best horse to ride. However, separating her from Blaze isn't an option. She's a busy mother now. Instead, I choose our black mares, Shadow and Cinder.

Shadow and Cinder have unique stories. One of our mares had these two seven years ago. Sadly, the mare died because of complications during an early brith. Gramps and I took care of these two for weeks and fought to keep them alive. Neither were in great condition, as mares having twins is rare and not recommended.

Keeping these two alive was a miracle, but we did it.

Shadow approaches me first, taking the apple from my hand. As she's chewing, she knocks her head against my shoulder.

I give her neck a scratch. "Hey, baby girl," I whisper.

Saddling Shadow doesn't take long. Because of my peace offering, she cooperates with me. I leave Cinder without a saddle because I prefer bareback.

In hindsight, I should've discussed this with Kinsley. Saddling Shadow sounded like the better option since she doesn't have years of riding experience. I hope Kinsley isn't offended by my decision.

After I'm done, I head back to the house. Kinsley is waiting on the front porch. She's dressed in jeans and a tank top.

When my gaze meets hers, images of last night surface. Pain carves out a spot in my heart. Her nightmare was horrible. Aside from myself, I've never seen someone breakdown like that.

Poor Kinsley. No wonder she needs time before speaking.

As much as I wanted her to tell me what happened, I understand why she can't. Finding the courage to speak is difficult. Especially if trauma is involved.

Not thinking straight, I approach Kinsley and hug her. "Are you okay?"

She hugs me back. "Yes. Thanks for staying with me."

I kiss her forehead. "Are you ready to go?"

She nods. "Am I dressed appropriately?"

My gaze surveys her outfit. The jeans and tank top are fine. I'm not sure about her Converse shoes, but they're closed-toe. Definitely not riding gear, but she should be okay.

"You're good," I reply.

Adjusting the backpack hanging from my shoulders, I gesture to the step. "Let's go."

She eyes me before descending the steps. I smile. She's curious about what we're doing.

"Do you know how long it took me to figure out an outfit?" she asks.

Her question makes me chuckle. "Nope."

"Half an hour!" she exclaims. "Hints would've been appreciated, Noel."

My chuckle turns into a laugh. "You made a good choice."

As we approach the stables, I point to Shadow and Cinder.

Kinsley's mouth drops open. "We're going horseback riding?!"

Excitement vibrates through her vocal chords. Her smile makes my knees weak.

"Yeah. Do you, uh, like it?"

She reaches out and squeezes my arm. "I love it. Let's go!"

Mounting the horses goes better than I expect. Kinsley asks for a few pointers, but that's it. Soon enough, we're off.

Throughout the ride, Kinsley asks me questions about the property. How long we've owned it. If I'm inheriting it. What drew my family to farming.

I answer each question with as much information as I can provide.

When the questions are over, she lets me ask her some questions. At first, her answers a short and she seems skeptical. As we continue, though, she becomes comfortable.

She tells me she had a boyfriend before moving to Calgary. Their break-up was mutual because they wanted to pursue their education. I learn her little sister's name is Jessa. Madeline is her best friend, and she calls her 'Mads' all the time. Kinsley doesn't mention her parents much. She says it's because she misses them the most and that she hopes they're happy without her there.

After she's finished, she shrugs. "My life isn't very interesting. Sorry to bore you."

"Nothing's boring," I assure her. "Even the small things are important. They help shape who you are."

She flashes me a small smile before surveying the property. "This is stunning. I'm jealous of you."

I shift my gaze to our surroundings. We're at the far end, alongside an array of deciduous trees and acres of wheat. Sometimes, I take home for granted—even when I try not to. And when that realization strikes, the view takes my breath away every damn time.

Kinsley's right. I am lucky. When this farm becomes mine, I hope it continues to take my breath away. From the vastness to the fields of gold and green to the limitless sky... Everything is perfect.

"You're right. It is stunning."

We fade into silence, listening to birds chirping and the breeze whistling through the wheat. In the distance, I can see the lake.

"Noel?"

I glance at Kinsley from beneath the brim of my cowboy hat. "Yeah?"

She hesitates. "Daisy, um, told me about the court case. The scar on your shoulder... does it relate to the ones on your torso?"

Speaking out about my father's abusive behaviour used to scare me. I had an irrational fear of him punishing me. The possibility of word getting back to him kept me silent. Now that he's in jail, that fear no longer exists.

"They're not related," I reply. "My father slashed me with a broken beer bottle. This was just after my mother had left. He claimed it was my fault. The gash was punishment. My scar is so jagged because I didn't get stitches right away. Being young, I was unsure of what to do."

Pausing, I weave together a quick lie. Kinsley doesn't need to know about the accident yet. I refuse to ruin our date by tainting her perception of me.

"He continued to abuse me over the years. I can't recall which events are connected to which scars."

Kinsley stares at me, but her expression isn't pitiful.

"I would apologize, Noel, but it's not my fault. What I will say is that I wish you didn't have to endure that. I wish I could take the pain away for you."

My lips tremble as I say, "Thank you, Kinsley."

We lapse into silence again. As the horses trudge forward, I realize how good it feels to get that off my chest. There is still a lot of weight I'm bearing, still a lot of guilt, but the pressure has decreased.

I shoot a quick glance at Kinsley, wondering if this is what Gramps meant when he said to deal with my demons. Maybe talking about all this is the best thing to do.

I contemplate telling her about the accident I caused. Then I flat-out deny that option. I'm too ashamed.

Yes, I had every right to fear my father. I didn't have the right to kill five innocent people. Leave one behind, alone and frightened, stuck in utter despair.

Thankfully, my mind averts from that thought when I see the desired location ahead.

Surrounded by tall grasses, reeds, and one large maple tree sits the medium-sized lake I love. And, right in front of us, is the bank I spend a lot of my time at when I'm not working. The same large, smooth-surfaced rock juts out into the water.

I feel a wave of relief. There's something about this place. Every time I visit, I feel content.

I look at Kinsley. Her face is in total awe, a mixture of happiness and awe.

She looks at me. "I understand why this is your favourite spot."

I grin. "That's what everyone who knows about it says."

"Who all knows about it?"

"You, me, Daisy, and Cole. Gramps does, too. Cole and I, when he would come over during the winter holidays, used to play hockey when it froze over. Gramps used to take me fishing."

"And what do you do when you come here alone?" she asks.

I smile at her. "You're smart. Has anyone ever told you that?"

Her smile is bashful while she shrugs.

"I used to come here all the time to write songs and stuff," I reply. "Clear my mind."

"Used to?"

Giving the reins a light tug, Cinder stops, allowing me to jump down. I give her a couple of pats. "Life gets busier as you grow up. I ran out of time."

That's a partial lie. I never ran out of time. In fact, after the accident I came here every day. Even during the winter.

I just didn't come to clear my mind. Time by the lake was used for thinking. Dealing with grief and guilt.

Kinsley nods as she swings her leg over Shadow.

"Understandable." She hops down and leads Shadow over to me. I tie her up next to Cinder, on a nearby tree. I give each of them an apple before turning back to Kinsley.

She's not there.

Instead, she's wandering over to the edge of the water. I can't see her face. But her relaxed posture and cautious steps make her look free. Like a dandelion tumbling through the breeze.

A smile tugs at my lips. Kinsley's changed since I first met her. In a good way. She's made friends. Opened up to people.

I like to think that I'm part of the reason, but I doubt it. If I played a part, it was a tiny one. It's her choice whether she wants to relax, open up, and be social.

I'm not saying that I like this Kinsley better. Every part of her is what makes her who she is, what makes her so unique. I just like that she's, well, friendlier.

"Want to go for a swim?" I ask once I'm standing beside her.

She tears her gaze away from the view and gives me a skeptical look. "I didn't wear my bathing suit."

"So what?" I shrug. "I'm sure you're wearing a bra and underwear, right?"

"Right." She cocks an eyebrow.

"What's the difference besides the fabric?"

She gives me a puzzled look, which quickly turns into a thoughtful one. Behind my back, I cross my fingers, hoping she'll say yes.

She shakes her head, looking uncomfortable. "You can," she replies. "I don't want to go swimming."

With that, she turns around and heads over to the rock, her shoulders slumped.

Shit. I've upset her. Why, I'm not sure. I rub the stubble along my jaw.

Then a thought occurs to me.

I follow Kinsley, stopping just behind her. She's sitting on the edge of the rock, dipping her toes in the water below. Her golden-blonde hair cascades down her back, curling at the tips.

"Is it because of the scar on your knee?" I ask.

Kinsley looks over her shoulder, a pained look on her face. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Noel."

I walk over to Kinsley and sit down next to her. Reaching out, I grasp her hand. "You know I meant what I said; I am here if you need me."

She looks me in the eye. I go breathless. Her eyes are stunning. Gorgeous.

Kinsley takes a deep breath. "I don't enjoy swimming," she replies. "Water scares me. I know how to swim. That doesn't mean I like it, though."

"Okay," I reply. "Fair enough. Then we can just sit here and enjoy the view."

Shrugging the backpack off, I unzip it and remove the sandwiches. Then the lemonade. I offer her a sandwich.

"We can enjoy the view while eating some mediocre sandwiches."

And just like that, Kinsley's smile returns.