Cole

I have to call Jack.

Sitting with Noel and Kinsley while knowing the truth is eating me alive. I'm so bloody uncomfortable. Jumping off of a cliff sounds appealing. 

Too bad there aren't many cliffs in Calgary.

I want the movie to end. Now. Kinsley's presence is belittling me. Noel's presence is straining my conscience. One of them has to leave. At least until I've figured out a way to deal with this shit and the fallout looming on the horizon.

When Kinsley revealed her past, I thought she was talking rubbish at first. Maybe she was blabbing because of her panic attack. Or maybe she'd heard of Noel through the country music grapevine and wanted to grab his attention. Perhaps she was trying to terrify me.

None of my hypotheses were correct. Kinsley spoke nothing but the truth. Her story, location, facts—they all make sense. They connect with Noel's story.

The pain that consumed her...

Bloody hell.

Kinsley Hastings survived the accident. I know she's the lone survivor of the family who suffered from Josiah's addiction. But...

Jack knows the name of the family who died. Although I know who Kinsley is, I want to hear Jack confirm it.

The accident broke my best mate.

After Noel was released from the hospital, I spent weeks on the farm. Throughout that time, I tried to talk to Noel. Convincing him the accident wasn't his fault was impossible. Making sure he ate and slept was a battle. He didn't want help bathing, despite his injuries.

Noel's first month was hell. I've never seen someone fall so deep into a pit of self-loathing. He lost too much weight. Depression set in. I'll never forget the day he told me he wished he'd died, too.

Pain consumes my heart. I have to squeeze my eyes shut. The Thai food we ordered was delicious, but now I want to throw it up. I feel sick.

I need Jack to confirm it before this situation becomes ten times worse. I know the survivor's name. I've befriended the survivor. Bloody hell, I even admire her for making it this far.

And let's not forget I'm keeping drastic secrets from both of them.

Bloody hell.

The air is too thick. I need to leave.

Adjusting the collar of my shirt, I clear my throat and slide off of the bed.

"The loo is calling my name," I mutter. Before heading to the door, I grab my phone, sticking it in my back pocket. "Be right back."

Noel snorts. "It's the washroom."

Bantering with Noel is one of my hobbies. We love to joke about Canadian terminology and British terminology. Right now, though? I can't stomach it.

When I glance over my shoulder, the sick feeling worsens.

Seeing Noel and Kinsey sitting together...

The truth would kill them.

Kinsley is broken and guilty. She bears a lot of hatred toward the man who killed her family.

Noel, though he puts up a remarkable act, is still haunted by his decisions. He still blames himself. There are days where I can see the past in his brown eyes. If the guitar string scars on his hands are the prologue, then the rest of his scars tell a devastating story.

"Whatever, mate."

Those two words are all I say.

Once I've exited the dorm room, I saunter down the hallway to the exit. My thoughts are tearing at my brain, so I try to focus on the minor details. The cream-coloured walls. The brown carpet with stains caused by god-knows-what.

Outside, the air is bitter. Snowflakes are falling, covering the pavement with a thin blanket of snow.

After a few deep breaths, I remove my phone from my pocket and dial Jack's number.

It's late. Part of me is hoping he won't answer. Jack won't be happy with Noel and Kinsley being in proximity.

I rub my neck while the phone rings. My anxiety has never been higher. Perhaps this is a fluke.

As soon as the thought crosses my mind, I roll my eyes. I'm a fool to even think the correlation between Noel and Kinsley could be a fluke.

"Cole?" Noel's grandfather asks. "What's going on? Is Noel okay?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose. Ripping the band-aid off is the best route to take. "I need to know the name, Jack. Please tell me."

Jack hesitates for a moment. "Why the sudden interest? What's going on, Cole? You've never wanted to know it."

I knock my head against the wall, tilting my face to the sky. Snowflakes kiss my face, melting within seconds. Jack's questioning me because I told him to never tell me. After watching Noel suffer, I feared I'd scope the survivor out and attempt to smooth things over.

Even now, it sounds stupid. Back then, I was young and naïve. I didn't know the importance of the side effects of trauma. Of how much damage PTSD can inflict upon someone's character.

I take a deep breath.

"Was her name Kinsley Hastings?" I ask.

Jack's silence is enough of an answer.

"Fuck," I mutter, removing the phone from my ear. For a moment, it's suspended at my side while I stare at the sky. My head is spinning again. Jack's confirmation is devastating—even if I already knew the truth.

"How did you find out?"

Squeezing my eyes shut, I fight off a wave of tears. For Noel. For Kinsley. With a heavy heart, I tell Jack everything that's happened.

After I'm finished speaking, he blows.

"And you didn't think to tell me during the holidays?" Jack yells. "Are you fucking kidding me, Cole?"

Although I appreciate Jack's effort at giving Noel the best, I don't like his comment. Telling Jack what's happening in Noel's life isn't my responsibility. There's nothing we can do. Whether or not we like it, Noel and Kinsley's fates are intertwined. We just have to be prepared for the fallout.

"Are they friends?" Jack demands. "Are they sleeping together? Why would you let this happen?"

I run a hand through my hair. Staying calm is the only way to deal with Jack. Getting in a pissing match won't help.

"First, I didn't let this happen. It's not my fault Noel and Kinsley are in the same classes. Second, what's occurring in their lives is none of your business. I—"

"Cole," Jack interrupts. "You can't let them get close. If Noel finds out who she is... He'll break again. He can't handle this. I don't care what you have to do. Show fake interest in that girl. Make her think you're in love with her. Just keep her away from my grandson."

Anger ignites in my blood. Looking out for my friends? I can do that. Worrying about the aftermath of the truth? That's normal. But playing with Kinsley's emotions? That's where I draw the line. I also refuse to hurt my best mate. Noel is crushing on Kinsley—it isn't hard to see.

Even if I can see Jack's intentions. Preventing Kinsley and Noel from becoming closer would prevent hell from breaking loose.

"I'm not doing that," I say. My voice is low and menacing. "No fucking way, Jack. I refuse to play with their emotions. Both of them have been through enough." I pause, biting my tongue. "Did you ever think... This might be good for them. Finding out could help them heal."

Jack releases a frustrated breath. "No. You can't let Noel find out. Do you understand me? Keep that girl away from him. My grandson isn't okay. He's unstable. Noel can fool others, but he will break."

I stare into the lamp above me, watching snowflake flitter through the air. A small, chilly breeze picks up, biting at my pink cheeks. Ahead of me is the parking lot. Every car is dusted in snow, and the area is silent. It's eerie.

Keeping Noel and Kinsley apart is impossible. No matter how hard Kinsley tries to push him away, she continues to return. She finds something interesting in Noel. I can see it.

And Noel? He deserves to be happy. Even if the source of his happiness will momentarily destroy him.

I've never lied to Jack before, and it pains me to do so, but the lie tastes like honey on my tongue.

"I know," I sigh. "Fine. I'll try. But, Jack?"

"What?" he practically spits the words.

That wave of anger returns. "Quit being disrespectful," I snap. "There's only so much I can control."

Jack exhales. "Fine. Sorry."

His apology is half-assed, but I let it go. "I'll keep you updated," I sigh. "Night, Jack."

"Stay true to your word, Cole."

"I get it, mate. I'll call you next weekend, yeah?"

Jack grunts in response.

After we've said our goodbyes, I spend the next five minutes staring into the snowy parking lot.

There's no way to prevent Noel and Kinsley from getting close. This twist of fate is unfortunate, but long overdue.

I glance down at my snow-covered shoes, pinching the bridge of my nose again.

Whenever they decide to open up to each other, I'll be ready to weather through the storm.